A/N: Okay. So this is by far the oddest thing I have ever written. And most of you won't even understand it. But I wrote it for my friend Julia-Caesar, who is in love with Fiyero and thinks that 'Juliyero' is the best thing since BEFORE sliced bread (just smile and nod, it's safer for your wellbeing that way). She was trying to make vinkunwildflowerqueen write a... special sort of Juliyero for her, but Carlie refused. So, I volunteered (not sure why, in hindsight...).
Anyway, this is a Juliyero fic, affectionately called 'JAFHSIAC'. Just go with it.
"Oooh, I know! Let's play truth or dare!" exclaimed Galinda enthusiastically, clapping her hands as she bounced on her bed in sync.
It was just past midnight and Galinda, Elphaba, Fiyero, Nessarose, Boq, Pfannee and Shen Shen had been out at the OzDust ballroom, dancing their Friday night away. Elphaba and Nessa had both realised that the rest of their friends had all been getting a little too drunk and decided to wrap up the party. Even so, they were still having too much fun to stop partying completely. So Galinda had suggested they all congregate back at the dorm room she and Elphaba shared.
Everyone had agreed, albeit Elphaba reluctantly, and it was because of this that they were now sitting in various places around the room: on the beds, on desk chairs or on the floor, trying decide what kind of game to play.
The boys groaned in unison. "Really, Galinda? We always play truth or dare!" said Fiyero, rolling his eyes.
"Well, do you have any better suggestions?" the blonde shot back defensively.
Fiyero thought for a moment. "How about... Seven minutes in heaven?"
Elphaba and Nessarose looked at each other, confused. "What's seven minutes in heaven?" they asked.
"You don't know what seven minutes in heaven is?" cried Pfannee dramatically. "Oz, you haven't lived!"
Galinda jumped in, sensing that Elphaba was about to make a snide, rude or sarcastic comment back. "Elphie, it's a game where you spin a bottle twice, and the two people it lands on have to go into a closet together, and spend seven minutes in there doing anything they want to."
"It sounds ridiculous," huffed Nessa disapprovingly. Everyone else in the room ignored her.
Fiyero pulled out an empty bottle from Oz knows where and put it in the middle of the room. All eyes were on the bottle as he spun it, some looking excited and some looking slightly apprehensive. Seven pairs of eyes followed the bottle, which finally landed on Galinda.
"Yay, it's me!" she cried. Her eyes flashed to Fiyero, hoping he would be the one the bottle landed on next. Unfortunately for her, it landed on Elphaba.
The green girl blushed a darker green, but got up and followed Galinda into the closet, hearing wolf whistles from Fiyero, Pfannee and Shen Shen as they shut the door and were enclosed in darkness.
"So..." began Galinda. "What do you want to do for seven minutes, Elphie?"
Elphaba cringed. "Galinda, there is no way I am going to make out with you in a closet. I assume that's kind of the point of the game, but let me assure you, that is not happening!"
Galinda giggled. "Of course not, Elphie! Well, usually that is the point of the game, but I don't want to make out with you either!"
"Oh?" Elphaba raised an eyebrow, and Galinda quickly backtracked.
"I didn't mean it like that, Elphie, I swear! I just meant that I wouldn't want to make out with a girl anyway!"
Elphaba laughed at her friend's obvious discomfort. "I was kidding, Galinda. Calm down."
The blonde breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh, good. You know, I was hoping that the bottle would land on Fiyero, but I don't mind that it landed on you. We can have some best friend bonding time!"
"Sure, for five minutes now. What do you want to talk about?" replied Elphaba.
"Hmm... Who do you like?"
"Really, Galinda? We're having this conversation?" sighed the green girl. "I don't like anyone, I've told you that before!"
Galinda pouted, even though Elphaba couldn't see it in the darkness. "Elphieeeee! That's what everyone says, but deep down it's not true! C'mon Elphie, there has to be someone!"
"No, there isn't! I swear!" Elphaba protested stubbornly.
"Ugh! Fine..." said Galinda, crossing her arms and slumping to the floor.
The two friends sat in silence for two more minutes, until, to the surprise and horror of Elphaba, Galinda began making loud noises.
"Oh, oh, yes! Oh, Elphie, just there! YES!" The blonde pounded her fists on the floor and moaned loudly, giggling quietly when she was finished.
"Galinda!" cried Elphaba. "What the hell was that for?"
"Just providing our friends with some entertainment," replied Galinda, giggling uncontrollably as she heard a faint "Oh my Oz!" from outside the closet.
"Uhhh... One minute left!" called Fiyero.
"Come on, Elphie, work with me here!" urged Galinda, still laughing.
"No way!" replied Elphaba.
"Please?" the blonde wheedled, until Elphaba finally gave in.
"Fine! What do you want me to do?" she asked.
"Just kind of moan and call out my name a few times!" giggled Galinda.
Elphaba sighed. The things she did for Galinda! "Oh, Galinda! Galinda, yes, more!" she cried, feeling ridiculous. Galinda rolled around on the floor, tears of mirth in her eyes.
"Oz, Elphie! I'm coming! I'm coming!" she screamed, choking with laughter. Even Elphaba couldn't help but laugh as she listened to her best friend.
"I think the time is up, Galinda," she said, feeling for the door in the dark. Before she could find the handle, the closet door swung open and light streamed in. Fiyero stood in the doorway, staring at them with an odd expression on his face, watching Galinda still rolling on the floor.
It took another couple of minutes for her to calm down enough to stand up and leave the closet, only to start giggling again as she saw the looks on her friends' faces.
"That was a joke," Elphaba felt the need to clarify, as everyone was staring at them. "We didn't actually have sex in the closet..."
But Fiyero wasn't listening. "I want to have sex in a closet!" he whispered to Boq, who just laughed at him.
"Good luck with that!" replied the Munchkin.
Just then, a knock sounded on the dorm room door. Elphaba got up to open it, and was surprised as a petite girl with brown hair walked straight past her into the room.
"Hey guys!" cried the girl. "I'm Julia, and I'm bored. I live in the room next door, and I heard some interesting noises coming from this room so I came to investigate. What are you up to?"
She was met by uncomfortable silence, broken only by Fiyero, who was always happy to meet new girls. "We're playing seven minutes in heaven. Want to join in?"
"Sure! I love that game!" She winked suggestively at Fiyero, who grinned back at her.
"You can have the next turn if you want! Let's see who you'll be with." He spun the bottle and once again, every pair of eyes avidly followed the bottle. It landed on Fiyero.
"Well I'm not complaining!" said Julia, grabbing Fiyero's hand. "Let's go!" And with that, she pulled him straight into the closet and slammed the door.
The rest of the group was silent for a few seconds.
"Well she's keen," said Boq awkwardly, and everyone laughed.
In the closet, Julia stood right in front of Fiyero. "So, wanna have sex?" she asked nonchalantly.
"Hell yes! I've always wanted to have sex in a closet!" he replied, grinning at his good fortune.
"Oh my Oz, me too! We're like, practically twins!" Julia thought about what she had just said for a second. "Wait, that's weird. But kinky!" She sat on the floor and pulled Fiyero down with her, kissing him hard.
"Now, strip!" she ordered.
Fiyero hastily ripped off his clothes, hearing the sounds of Julia doing the same thing in front of him. She wasted no time in pushing him backwards on the floor and climbing on top of him, straddling his waist.
"Oi! Don't you get my clothes dirty!" shouted Galinda. "Or I'll come in there and chop off your most vital parts! Fiyero, I'm talking to you here!"
Fiyero and Julia ignored her, content to do their thing for the four remaining minutes they had. Happily, they moaned and groaned together as they inched closer towards their peaks.
"Harder, Fiyero! Faster!" demanded Julia.
"I'm... trying!" grunted Fiyero as he thrust as hard and fast as he could.
"Try HARDER!" Julia cried.
The group of friends outside the closet fell silent just as both Fiyero and Julia screamed each other's names.
They all looked from one person to another, unable to determine who the best person to focus on was.
Finally, the silence was broken by a mortified Boq.
"Well that was sufficiently awkward."
A/N: Weird as.