Author's Note:
Of course I don't own the characters. Only Dick Wolf and NBC own them. However, if I did, Olivia would've stayed as Butch Benson, not Barbie Benson (no offense, folks!), and the Olivia/Alex lesbian relationship would've existed on the air.
Today's April the 1st. Assistant District Attorney Alex Cabot was already all prepared for fooling her lover. It took her days, even weeks to plan out the perfect pranks. After what happened last April Fools Day, all Alex wanted was revenge. Actually, her revenge already started. Since Olivia Benson was snoozing away in her bed, the devious ADA was doing something that she had never done before: buzz cutting the detective's short brunette hair. Alex was relieved that the four long days of investigation without sleep knocked out Olivia good. The blonde was almost finished when Olivia began to wake up.
"Wha… what's going on here?" Olivia whispered tiredly. Then she noticed that there were short locks of hair spread out all over her pillow and sheets. "What the fuck?!"
"April Fools!" Alex's laughter spilled out.
Olivia rushed out of her bed and ran to the bathroom mirror. "Damnit, Alex, you buzz cutted my hair?!" She turned to her lover. "Why would you do something like this?!"
"Because, Olivia, you haven't got a haircut since whenever so I thought 'why not?'" Alex noticed that the one side of Olivia's hair was slightly uneven. "Here, let me fix you up."
"No, no no! Get away from me!"
Alex tackled her down to the floor and finished up her haircutting business. Now Olivia looked just right for her. "Man, you look so sexy." She kissed her before she got off on top of her lover.
"Oh shut up!" Olivia got up and went back to the bathroom, just to see if Alex did anymore damage. While she was in there, the telephone rang.
"I'll get that," Alex called.
A short moment had passed by as Alex joined into the bathroom with Olivia. "Livi, Cragen called. He wanted you to come in to the precinct."
"For what?"
"Apparently, some guy dressed up as Ronald McDonald molested four children ages 8 to 10. It happened just half an hour ago, of course, in McDonald's. Cragen was wondering if you can help Elliot interview the kids?"
"Fine, I'll be there." Olivia quickly got out of the bathroom and got dressed. She took a ball cap to cover her new do and peaked over at the alarm clock sitting on the night table. "I'll be back for dinner, hopefully soon… and then I can kill you."
"Take your time, Livi." Alex held her laughter until Olivia left her apartment. What she didn't know was that it was actually morning, not evening. Before Alex gave Olivia a bizarre haircut, she changed all the clocks from am to pm. Alex hoped that Olivia didn't get suspicious about the time change, but luckily everything was well planned. All she could do was wait for Olivia to get home.
"Hey Captain, hey Elliot. Have you guys talked with the victims and their parents yet?" Olivia tossed her coat and keys on her desk and settled herself in.
"Uh, Liv, what are you talking about?" Cragen asked.
"Yeah, and what did you do with your hair? Got a discount on your haircut or something?" Elliot added.
Olivia was confused and not to mention, embarrassed. "Cragen, I thought you called me about the child molestation at McDonald's?" She turned to Elliot, "And very funny, Stabler. It was more of a 'free' haircut."
Cragen had no idea of what Olivia was talking about. "First of all, there was no such incident in McDonald's. And second, I never called you. I never expected you to be back at work in such a short time."
"Wait, hold it right there," Elliot spoke up, "What's going on here?"
"Yes, I would like to know too," Cragen said.
Olivia hoped that her partner wouldn't ask that type of question. "Somehow, I got a call from our captain that some pedophile who was pretending to be Ronald McDonald molested a few kids at the fast food restaurant. There, that's my story."
It took a real effort for Cragen and Elliot not to laugh out loud.
"Olivia, I don't know what you're going through but none of this is true," The SVU Captain replied.
Olivia never felt that much stupid before. Then she realized that her lover set this up. "Okay, then, this was a big fat waste of time. Guess I'll go home and eat dinner."
"Since when did you replace breakfast with dinner?" Elliot asked.
Olivia didn't understand of what he just said. "Excuse me?"
"It's 7:30 am."
She glanced at the wall clock. "I thought it was 7:30 in the evening!"
"Olivia, you're wrong. It's morning."
'Alex, you're definitely going to get your ass kicked!' she angrily thought.
"Look, just come back whenever you're sober," Cragen said with calm and humor mixed in his tone. Olivia shot back her dirty look before she grabbed her belongings and stormed off the squad room. Cragen and Elliot were thinking that Alex was the one who was responsible for this mess. They clearly remembered of what Olivia did to Alex last year as if it was yesterday.
"Olivia and Alex better smartened up or else they'll be transferred to the Bart Simpson Unit," Cragen continued. At last, both of them burst into laughter.
"April Fools!" Alex shouted as Olivia walked in.
"Don't you 'April Fools' me! Everything was a lie! Cragen and Elliot looked at me like I was a total crack head or something."
Alex didn't care how pissed off Olivia was. All she did was giggle. "Aw, I'm sorry Livi-loo."
"Yeah, right," she snorted.
Then the telephone rang again. Alex was planning to pick it up, but Olivia blocked her way. "Okay, I don't trust you at all, missy, so why not if I can answer it for a change?"
"Whatever you say, detective." She walked to a different room, leaving Olivia alone in the living room.
"Hello?"
"Hi, is this Alexandra Cabot?"
"No, this is her wife, Olivia Benson."
"Hi Mrs. Benson. This is Cynthia Hooper from Bellevue Hospital. I'm calling to remind your wife that she has an ultrasound appointment tomorrow afternoon at 4."
Stunned and confused, Olivia asked, "What do you mean 'she has an ultrasound appointment'?"
The desk clerk didn't know whether she knew about this or not. Olivia must know sometime at least. "Well, Mrs. Benson, I don't know if your wife told you but… she's pregnant…"
"She- she is?"
"Yes, she's almost three weeks along."
'Could my day get any worse?!' Olivia sat back and slapped her hand against her forehead. After a few seconds of silence, she spoke, "I'll let Alex know about tomorrow's appointment. Thanks for the reminder…"
"Congratulations."
"Um, yeah, thanks. Bye." She hung up and stared at the blank space. All she could do was scream "Alexandra!"
The blonde counselor entered the living room, expressing no signs of guiltiness. "You rang?"
"Since when you went to some sperm bank and got yourself knocked up?!"
"Since the 14th of March."
"The whole shit was a joke, wasn't it?"
Alex couldn't hold her laughter any longer. "April Fools!" At last, she landed on the floor, laughing her heart out.
"That was the most idiotic thing that you had ever done, Alexandra Cabot!" Then she asked, "But you're sure you're still not pregnant or anything?"
"What, you still don't believe me, Detective?"
"I don't know if I fully cooperate your story."
Alex straightened herself up. "Okay, Livi-loo, if you don't believe me, do the detective work: Get a pregnancy test and stick it up my wee wee. Trust me, it'll mark negative. Case closed."
Olivia can tell that she was telling the truth in a sarcastic way. "Alex, you're such an ass, as usual." She stared at the wall clock, remembering that her lover should be at court today. "You know, you can get the 'test' yourself once you get off from work."
Alex turned around and looked. "Damnit, I should've been in trial 20 minutes ago." She grabbed her briefcase and coat nearby. "Have fun spending the whole day without me."
"Oh I will." They gave each other a passionate kiss before Alex departed.
Olivia can tell that Alex seemed disappointed since she had to go to court. Although she would be home alone all day, this would be the perfect time for the detective to make up something that would piss off her mistress. Her upcoming prank must be fresh, not something that was used from the year before. She only had a few hours to compose the perfect crime.
Long day at court was finally over for the exhausted blonde ADA. All she had in her mind was seeing her lover, and even tease her for fun. After getting off the elevator, she walked quickly into the empty hallway and all the way to Olivia's apartment. She was just opening the door until somebody in a dark mask grabbed her from behind and dragged her inside the apartment. It was impossible for Alex to scream because the predator's hand covered her mouth tight. He pushed her to the couch and pointed his gun out to the frightened lawyer, holding her in hostage.
"Ple-please sir, please don't kill me-"
"Shut up!"
Her bright blue eyes widened in terror, Alex sat perfectly still. She looked around her to see if there were any objects she can use to defend herself. Unfortunately there wasn't anything that would help her get out of that mess. Still got a gun pointed to her head, the lone gunman came closer to Alex.
"You'll be sorry," he growled.
Alex knew this was going for the worse: death. She had to do something if she wanted to stay alive. She couldn't leave Olivia behind, she just couldn't. Finally, she did something by performing a low kick to his gut. Even though he wimped in pain, he was capable enough to shove her to the floor and pinned her there with all his strength he got. Instead of trying to snatch his gun, Alex managed to punch him in his face, twice. All of a sudden, the gunman backed down.
"Okay, Alex, that's enough."
The stunned blonde noticed that he was a she. "Olivia?"
The detective dressed as an intruder removed her mask. "April Fools." Although she was beaten up pretty good, she laughed it off.
Alex stood up and screamed, "That was not funny, smartass! I could've seriously hurt you!"
Without saying one word, Olivia pointed her gun at Alex.
"What the fuck are you doing?!"
Olivia pulled the trigger and somehow water squirted out instead of real bullets. "Alex Cabot is afraid of water," she teased, squirting her couple more times on her face.
"You're getting one hell of a punishment, lady!"
"Good 'cause I like it rough." Starting to feel aroused, Olivia dropped her water gun and wrapped her arms around Alex's waist before she kissed her tenderly on her lips. "Let's get out of our clothes, shall we?"
Alex's anger died down as she gently kissed her back in response. As soon as they walked into Olivia's bedroom and closed the door behind them, Olivia and Alex ended their day by exchanging love to each other rather than fooling around with pranks.
Author's Note, Part Two:
Incase you're wondering who Cynthia Hooper was, that was the character played by Mariska Hargitay in the 1994-2009 American medical drama tv series, ER.