Title: Born to Kill
Rating: T (rated for possible future violence and swearing)
Summary: Sequel to Ain't it a Shame. Derek Mallory (Draco Malfoy) is a wizard trying to be a Muggle 15 year old. But the Magical War is on the horizon and teenage life is different yet somewhat the same.
A/N: Shitty summary but the best I could do.
Choices.
Chapter 1.
As the dominant intelligent life form on this planet we suck bad. There is absolutely nothing worse in this life than being human, stuck in a school of outrageous hormones thinking that one should not have been brain-dead enough to give an age two years younger, after all the gods only know that I've regretted the choice.
"… last weekend was fuckin' awesome…" There's more to this diatribe, but really do I want to listen?
Jack Hellbrows. Irritating to the pint I want to kill him. He's a year younger than I am. Meaning he's dumb enough to be in a class with fifteen to sixteen year olds.
I forget the name of this class. We write, read and argu—
My mistake. Debate.
I would roll my eyes, but the noise of this room is jarring. My temples seem to scream in agony.
There's a paper airplane coming to stop at the crash of the window.
Airplane.
How boring. I once sent a swan ( it's the only one I can fold) to Potter. Insulting, as well as entertaining.
I'm finding myself falling into this dreamlike state, where reality is taken from me and shoved aside.
…
I don't like it.
In the life where I was Draco Malfoy I was in Reality. Everything was ultimately real.
Nothing is anymore.
There's a girl over there seventh seat in row three (closest to the window) she has the brown bushy hair of Granger, the face of some Hufflepuff I shared a class with.
Seeing this tiny pin drop of Reality, finds an aching hole in my chest. It snaps my attention to this sudden pain.
Sometimes, I forget I was Draco Malfoy, the heir to nearly ¼ of all the gold in Gringotts. The Slytherin Seeker who glorified the Slytherin name.
However, I've yet to forget the agonizing transition from Draco Malfoy to Derek Mallory.
A destitute homeless kid.
"Can anyone explain to me what differentiates Innocence and Experience?"
Innocence.
"I think that innocence is when you don't have sex, drugs and goes to church." Declares a burnout kid.
"Actually, I think it's a state of mind." Her name's Rachael, not Rachelle.
"Well, what is Experience?"
"Age."
"Just age?"
"Learning lessons."
"How do you mean?"
"Like, you learn from bad thin—"
"Naivety." Rachael.
"So you think that Innocence is ignorance and Experience is age and— what?"
Personally, I don't know what innocence is. I use to be innocent once. I lost it.
Yet, I feel as though I am still innocent. Retaining if only a little bit.
Experience. Change of principles, valve, or just perhaps disillusionment. It scared me the months where sitting cold and hungry in the dark corners of Muggle London, I saw who my family and I really were…
"Jack?"
"I dunno, maybe the whole 'the more you learn' thing."
---- -----
This house is obscenely bring and sunny. The family whose ideal is to be my own family.
Muggles.
So strange in every act they possess.
It smells as though Kathy is cooking Shepard's' Pie.
The staircase is small as is this house. Sometimes I feel claustrophobic in this house, in that school, in this city.
Can anyone know something a near speak of it again?
Can you weave a lie about an imaginary life no one has led?
Sometimes, I wonder if the Fates are playing a horrendous joke on me.
"Oh! You home Derek?" Kathy has middle to high note voice. Monotone, an unusual feature in such a happy person.
Her teeth are yellowed and a bit crooked. She's not blessed with a brilliant complexion, her eyes are too narrow.
Yet it is her smile, that happy spark in her black eyes that makes this woman beautiful.
"Yeah. I'm a little tired." My hands are scarred; the small finger on my right hand has healed from a broken bone far to the right. My nails have grown long, since I stopped the habitual biting. I keep them obsessively clean. Yet still, there are white half moons all over the shield of my flesh.
I have a hang nail—
"Derek?"
I snap my attention back to this woman of my height. Trying to go back to the Reality, yet slowly for the Dream blocks the efficiency.
"Go take a nap, I'll wake you for supper."
I nod. Slipping off shoes my mother would have taken a Scorching Hex to.
I walk slowly gathering static on my socks. I remember in school someone mentioned electricity being created by static and hydropower.
Fascinating. These artificial lights. Blind scholars avoided.
More fascinating is the machines or whatever…
My headache is pending to destroy my temples and throwing me into a whirlwind of madness.
There's a girl in a picture to the side of the wall. She's smiling tooth fully and has a bright yellow daisies sundress.
It has me wondering where she went…
Another lost soul?
I've asked Rick, but he's always saying it's a niece of his who lives in Canada.
Canada.
My family once went to Canada. To the side of fresh watered lakes and rainforests so beautiful. Mountains that are green, grey and white. Listening to the birds exotic magical…
Sometimes I fall so deep in my Dream that I can still smell the fresh pine and hear the splashes of pixies playing in the puddles underneath the trees.
--- ------
The room I have is sparse on material goods. There's a Nirvana poster. It's a supposedly good band. I wouldn't know though my favourite band has always been Elf's Eyes.
My small single bed has white covers that closely blend into the wall. The beige carpet adds a touch.
My old bedchambers at Malfoy Manor were overdone with hardly a thought put to them. Sometimes I wonder if through my experience in the Muggle World, if I have changed for the better, or if I just think I've changed when in reality I've changed not at all.
I place my bag down, watching the scarred skin of my knuckles shift and the skin stretch over them.
When I was a child my father would run his own fingers over my tiny hands. I never thought much about it. But as anything these days, thinking of the past is a habitual past time of mine.
---- ------
"Innocence?
Bah.
No such thing
People are who they are
Innocence and experience do not factor
Into life.
I think,
Believe
That everyone has a thought, not
On innocence or experience
Choices.
It's all about
Choices."
--Scribble I wrote at
the back of some notebook.
--- -----
A/N: The title Born to Kill is from a Matt Good song everyone should check out.
The original Muggle characters (I'll introduce them more fully as we go along) they were given to me by YingYangWhiteTiger of Mallory will be going back to the Wizarding World. But I plan to build on that!