Guilt is a horrible feeling, especially when it is warranted. As the guardian of time I rarely feel this pain, usually I put it off as just another ripple that reasoning is typically enough to ease my conscience. Perhaps the pain I feel has little to do with the action it self but more so the sympathy I felt for the one being wronged. I watch him now, our battle is long over and in the end I feel he lost the most. We were all reborn, we were given the chance to live our lives, until the day we're called upon to defend Crystal Tokyo. He lost everything, and I took it from him. In the years since our absence I have grown very fond of him, even if I watch from afar. I see his pain, the way he looks at the door when it opens slightly, waiting. I wonder what he would do if it was her, or rather if it were me. Somewhere inside I want him to punish me, to hate me. I know he doesn't. I know if I were to give him the chance he'd welcome me, open arms and open heart; he's been so hurt. I feel my heart and my mind arguing over what to do, go to him, stay here it is your mission; this battle wages daily, hourly and in the end my head always wins. His solitude and mine match, his pain and mine are the same, he has someone to blame and I long for the same. Maybe today I'll go to him. Maybe today I'll let him yell at me, curse me and I'll hold him as he does. My body is moving without thought I find myself walking through the gate of time and into the small hospital room.
'Hello.' He says to me, his face is straight, like he's been waiting for me.
'I want to apologize.' I start, his hand raises to stop me.
'Don't. I know why, I saw the news. My little Hotaru she's alright?'
'She is.' I tell him a tear escaping from me.
'The war is over?'
'Yes. She is safe, she is loved.'
'Then that is all I need.'
That is all he needs. But me, I need more. I need him. I stare at him a moment my eyes brimming with tears. 'You've been so wronged.' I start 'I took the only thing you ever loved away from you. I caused you the loneliness and unknowing you've felt since the day Hotaru was called for.' He's next to me now, his hand softly caressing mine.
'I don't blame you.' His voice isn't fluffy; it's straight, calm, true. 'Hotaru was needed, she was needed and she is safe. That is more then I could have done for her. I've learnt about you and your kind, she will be a child for years now and she needs a family that can understand her, not a frail old man like me.' His fingers are interlocking with mine I feel his warmth warmth I've wanted for so long. 'It's alright.' He adds finally pulling me down to him my head buried into his chest the tears flowing out of me.
Strangely this is not how I wanted it at all; he is comforting me, holding me.
'I rather hoped you would come back.' He says softly to me.
'I have wanted to for some time, but I feared you would hate me. I wanted you to hate me a little.'
'How could I hate you? I've loved you since the moment I saw you.' My heart breaks a little, and I realize this is what I have been wanting. I raise my eyes to look at him taking in each line of his face, each curve of his lips. 'You didn't take the only thing I ever loved; you gave me something new to love.' He tightens his arms around me, softly placing his lips over mine. Finally I feel free.