WOW what a day,

First I fall into the silo and Nick has to save me. What a can of worms that has opened for me. I never knew that I still had feelings like that for him. I guess I was so mad at him that I could not feel them thru the anger. When he was there and with me getting me out and I looked into his eyes I felt so much, love, pain, fright, wanting, all at once.

What am I going to tell Dave? Oops sorry Dave I fell into the silo and wall la I am in love with Nick? Yeah that would go over well. He deserves more than that from me.
I am going to have to tell Dave that I can not marry him. I can't not now.

What to do with these feelings I have for Nick? I am still very hurt and angry about the whole Sally thing. Why did he go to her so fast? He did not even give me a chance to explain. I know he was mad about me walking out on him. I should never have done that, I know better than to let Liz get to me. We have both done so much wrong. Can we ever get it right?

My niece was born today, BOM who new that there could be so much love in your heart. I am glad that Alex was there for Claire because my mind kept wondering to Nick. I was wondering what it would be like to have his baby. All because of the way he looked at me when he was saving me from the silo. Dave has never looked me like tha,t like he could get right inside of me and see and know everything I was.

This is what has set my mind into overload. Alex and Claire are in with BOM. If I did not know any better I would swear that those two are in love and just do not know it. I can't sleep thoughts of me and Nick and everything we have been thru and done to each other. I lay here thinking of all the times he has been there for me. Nick has always supported me in everything I have tried.

When I wanted to plant Hemp and Alex and Claire thought I was nuts Nick was there he helped me plant it and set up a scare crow of sorts, all Alex did was laugh and Claire stayed out of it. Organics, again Nick is the only one to support me. That is when we became partners, and almost lovers. My stuff up.

Laying here I have come to the conclusion that I am very deeply in love with Nick. I really don't think I ever stopped. I think he is in love with me. Could he have looked at me like that if he wasn't? Why didn't I see it? When we were on the drove he was jealous of Daniel.
When he came to see me in the city he did not have a physio, he came to see me. He said so I just took to long to catch on. Whenever I ask him to help me with something, he drops everything he is doing and helps me. He took care of Madonna for me when I went to the city on top of everything else he had going. He has even been supportive of me and Dave well except for the "poor bastard" remark. I am going to have to have a talk with him about that.

I can hear BOM crying. I wonder if Nick has thought anymore about having kids. I know he told Sally that he did not want any. Maybe he just did not want any with her. Nick would be a wonderful father. He thinks he is just like Harry but he is not. He is kind, considerate, gentle and a wonderful kisser. There I go again, always thinking of kissing him, he can say so much with a kiss.

I really have to talk to Nick. But I must talk to Dave first it is only right since we are still engaged.
Then I am going to have a long discussion with one Nick Ryan, Hopefully he will be receptive. If only I can get the words right I always seem to say the wrong thing. I need to get sleep...

"Good night Claire, good night Alex."
Alex and Claire say at the same time... "Good night Tess."

The next morning a not very well rested Tess comes down to breakfast, and finds Nick sitting at the table with Meg and Jodie.
"Good morning everyone. Nick what are you doing here?"

"Well Tess you gave me quite a scare yesterday and I just wanted to see for myself that you are okay. and I wanted to meet your new little neice." He still wasn't over the scared feeling he had when she had gone under the wheat. He had been shaking and sick to his stomach by the time he got home. All he had wanted was to hold on to her and never let go, to kiss her, but she wasn't his to kiss any more.

"Oh right, well she is upstairs with Claire and your brother who I might add spent the night" said Tess matter of factly. They stood there looking at each other each wanting to say something to the other but not wanting to talk in front of Meg and Jodie. At the same time they both turn and look at the two women, who suddenly notice that they are not wanted. They make excuses and get up to leave.

NIck was the one to speak first. " Tess I know you are with Dave now but do you think you and I could have a long talk, I have some things I really need to say to you. I do not want you to think I am trying to come between the two of you but I really need to explain or at least try?" He had to give it a try, he couldn't let her go with out a fight.

"Look Nick I really want to talk to you also. I did a lot of thinking all night long. Well let's just say that things may not be as they seem. Before I can really talk to you I need to clear up some things with Dave. Can I call you?" please let him understand what I am trying to tell him. She held her breath.

"Sure Tess. Would it be alright if I went up and seen BOM?" asked Nick. Tess nodded her head to him. Nick went up the stairs to see the new baby wondering to himself what Tess meant by she had to "clear" some things up?

Tess went out to get Oscar, she had some work to do and then she needed to find Dave and talk.
Dave sneaks up behind Tess and say's "good morning sunshine." and reaches for her. Tess steps away slightly and say's "um Dave we need talk. Do you want to go somewhere?"
"not if you are going to say what I think you are going to say." said Dave.

They walked over to the shed and sat on bales of hay facing each other. Tess looks Dave in the eyes and says "look Dave I can not marry you. I do not want to hurt your feelings but I really do not know how to say this...' Dave interrupts and say's "You do not have to I already know. I think I've known all along I just did not want it to be true. You're in love with Nick, aren't you? You see I have seen the way you look at him when you think I am not looking or anyone else for that matter. You talk to him about anything and everything. You never do that with me. Its okay Tess I really just want you to be happy. Do you think he is the one who can make you happy?"

"OH yes Dave I know he is. I really did not mean to hurt you. I care about you just not that way. I am sorry it took me falling into the silo to realize this." said Tess

Dave looks at Tess and ask her " have you told him yet?"
"No" replied Tess. "I thought it only fair that I talk to you first. I owed you that much."
"Thanks for that." said as he walked to his Ute.

Tess had hurried thru her work. She really wanted to talk to Nick, but there was so much to do and she was beginning to feel like her day would never end. That is when she saw Nick riding up to help her, and she broke into a huge smile. Somehow he always knows when I need him.

"Now that is what I like to see, a happy Tess. I don't think I have seen you smile like that since you got your first alpaca" said Nick as he came to a stop next to her.
" Well did you come to help me?" asked Tess. "Yup" replied Nick

They rode along in silence for awhile both lost in their own thoughts neither one knowing what to say or where to start. Finally Tess blurted out." Look Nick I broke up with Dave today, I know you have a lot of questions. I hope I have a lot of answers to those questions. But I really do not want to talk about this while we are working. When we get to talk I want to only concentrate on what each other are saying because I think that is where you and I get in trouble. We never say what is really on our minds, and I feel what I have to say is really important." There she had said it, now he has a clue as to what I need to talk to him about.

"Okay, lets finish this work and get something to eat and then we can go to Wilgul and talk. Besides I think Alex and Claire want to be alone." said Nick.
Tess's eyes got huge and she asked "What makes you think that?"

"Well when I went up to see BOM I sort of walked in without knocking, and I caught them kissing. They do not know that I saw them. I kind of thought I would hold on to it, to use against Alex for when I need a favour and he does not want to help." said Nick,

They continued to talk about little things as they worked and before they knew it they were back at Drovers. Tess turns to Nick and says. "Let me get a shower and then I will be over to Wilgul."
"Do you want me to wait for you I could give you a ride and bring you back in the morning. I have a spare room. You are still going to need help in the morning and I could help again." said Nick
"Great Idea just let me tell Claire where I will be and I will be down. I will bring my stuff with me and shower at your place while you cook me supper."