Summary: I really can't remember how I got to this point. I can't remember what I had for breakfast today. I can't remember what my last lesson was. I can't remember what happened two weeks ago when I went back to London for my parents' funeral. And I certainly can't remember how on earth I ended up on the train, leaving Hogwarts for the holidays, to spend Christmas with the Potters.

This story takes places in the 2nd half of the Marauder's last year of school & continues until just before Lily & James' death. It will be written in entirely Lily's point of view. Rating will be changed to M for later chapters.

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

"Patio Lanterns"

By: Jennifer Cole

– Prologue: Lantern –

I really can't remember how I got to this point. I can't remember what I had for breakfast today. I can't remember what my last lesson of the term was yesterday. I can't remember what happened two weeks ago when I went back to London for my parents' funeral. And I certainly can't remember how on earth I ended up on the train, leaving Hogwarts for the holidays, to spend Christmas with the Potters.

I sighed and leaned back into the seat cushions as the Hogwarts Express bumped along the track, speeding towards London. I shifted my gaze from the snow covered landscape that rolled past as the train chugged along to the boy sitting silently across from me.

He was watching me with a careful eye, as if I would spontaneously combust at any moment and disappear into thin air or, more likely, burst into another round of inconsolable tears that would shake my body for hours on end.

Thankfully I felt so dry inside that I didn't think I had another tear to spare. I slowly moved my gaze up from the boy's uniform shirt, past the shiny Head Boy badge pinned to his vest, up above his hazel brown eyes hiding behind thin rimmed glasses, to rest on the top of his head which was covered in messy black hair sticking up in all different directions.

Yes, James Potter, Head Boy, my enemy, the person I loathed most in the entire school, was sitting across from me in a compartment on the Hogwarts Express, as we both headed back to London to spend the Holidays at his mansion with his folks.

"Alright Lily?" The caution in his voice was not lost on me. His eyes bore into mine and I could see the sympathy and sadness just beneath the surface of the melted hazel floating behind his glasses.

I tried to find my voice, hoping it didn't come out all cracked and broken. "Alright," I squeaked. Yup, two weeks of crying really doesn't leave you with much of a voice.

"You need anything?" His voice was still cautious and quiet, as if my ears were also cracked and broken.

Not wanting to embarrass myself by squeaking again, I settled for shaking my head. I turned my face to look out the window again, thinking again about how I had gotten to this point. I had vague memories of a letter from my sister declaring the deaths' of my parents, of sitting in the Heads' Common Room with my eyes so blurred with tears I couldn't tell who had taken me into their arms as I wept, of falling asleep in a bed that most certainly wasn't mine (even through the crying I knew that I would never have bedsheets with Snitches on them), and of James Potter being nice to me. In fact, as much as I hated to admit it, if it wasn't for James Potter, I highly doubted I would have made it these two weeks.

It wasn't as if James and me were never nice to each other... in fact, this year, when we were both made Head students, we had been getting along quiet well. James had seemed to have matured since I last remembered seeing him in sixth year. And although he and his friends, the Marauders, were still mysterious and troublesome, James was doing an excellent job as Head Boy. Not once did I have to remind him about meetings, patrols or rules. He had not complained once and had really taken his newly appointed position to heart.

Although I was leery at first that this new James Potter was just a ruse, James' actions after the death of my parents had only solidified my new found appreciation for him. In the past two weeks I had been quite the zombie; only getting up in the morning because James would shake me awake and push me towards the shower, only going to class because James would carry my bag and guide me along with his arm against my back, only passing classes because James would copy his notes out twice so I had a copy, only eating because James would bring food from the Great Hall up to our Head Dorm for me to eat, and only going to sleep because James would rub my back soothingly as I cried into the late hours of the night.

I really didn't know why I deserved being treated so nicely. I had been nothing but rude, demanding and unappreciative towards him all term. He was probably being forced by Dumbledore to be polite to me. But, of course, that did not explain why I was now facing two weeks at the Potters' family mansion for the holidays. I don't even remember agreeing to come along.

James was holding me and stroking my hair as I sobbed,"I... j..just want t..to sleep and n..not wake up!" I felt so tired. So tired of crying. So tired of suffering. So tired of living.

James froze and turned my face so I had no choice but to blink through my tears to bring his face into focus. "Don't you dare say that! You have so much to live for! I know it's hard now but it will get better. Don't you ever think about giving up. That's what Voldemort wants... is for us to suffer so much that we give up. You have to keep fighting. Fight to avenge your parents. Fight to avenge everyone who has lost a parent, a brother or a sister. Fight for the future. Fight for our future."

I stared up into his warm eyes, thinking how I probably looking like a drowned rat, and sniffled. "I don't think I have any fight left in me." I whispered.

James kissed the top of my head and said, "I will fight for the both of us while you get better." Then he jumped up from my bed and began shoving my belongings into my trunk.

"What are you doing?" I cried pathetically as I watched him throw a couple pairs of my sneakers into my trunk.

Opening my wardrobe doors, James began pulling my shirts and pants off the hangers and tossing them on top of my shoes. "I'm packing your trunk for you. I wouldn't want you to be without your stuff when you come spend the holidays at my place."

After that night, I really hadn't cried much. Well, I still cried a lot but not as much as I had the two weeks prior. It didn't even occur to me that I would refuse James' invitation to spend the holidays with his family. It was like James was letting me share his family since I longer had one of my own.

I turned back away from the window to look at him again. He was leaning back against the seat with is eyes closed. His black hair splayed across the red seat cushions. His eyelashes lay smoothly against the skin of his cheeks. His breaths were even and slow. I wondered if he was sleeping. I quietly got up and shuffled forward to sit down next to him. His left eye popped open to look down at me as I snuggled up against him. He let his left arm drop around my waist and hold me close as his eyes drooped closed again.

I closed my eyes, relishing in the feeling of being held like a child. I sighed deeply. My parents would never hold me again. They would never give me advice again. I would never again hear my father telling me how proud he was of me. I would never again laugh with my mother as we baked together in the kitchen, spilling brownie batter as we licked the baking spoons. Gone were the days when my father would comfort me when I didn't receive an Outstanding on an exam. Gone were the days when my mother would bandage me up and kiss my sorrows away. Gone were the two guiding lanterns in my life.

I cuddled up against James and buried my face into his vest. At that moment I knew that I would not cry again for my parents. I had someone new to comfort me, to laugh with me, to be proud of me.

When the train stopped in London, I would awake from the coma I had been in for the past two weeks. I would hold my head high and I would go with James to meet his family. And I knew that if I felt lost again, I only had to look up to see my new lantern waiting for me.

A/N: This short chapter was just a prologue to introduce the story. This story has 16 full chapters to come. Please R&R to let me know if you like it and if you want me to post more!