Before I begin with all the formalities, I would like to say that this is writing with a heavy heart and in honor to Big Time Rush's ending. It was quite sad, but I guess in a way I deserved it. I always wanted to finish watching something on tv, as in the whole show would end end. And now this happens. It's terrible, but I think that Big Time Rush will always be a part of us, the band is still going down a different path. And yet the show...well, good things must come to an end. So with no further ado, with my very long Author's Note. I will continue on forward.
Okay, this is my first ever, finished attempt at a Jagan fic. It's like the first I have ever posted here so I'm nervous. Very. I mean, whenever I've tried on paper it just never came out the right way so I gave up hope of ever actually posting a story about them together, but voila! My first ever Jagan story in the flesh, hope you guys like it.
Warning: male/male romance. If this is not your cup of tea, please go elsewhere. And sorry if it disturbs you in any way, but you have been warned.
Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush, and I'm not saying that the characters/actors are gay, not at all. This is just a work of fiction.
"I think you like him."
Logan gawks at Carlos. No. No way. He's about to shake his head, but Carlos looks at him eyes wide open and with a big, friendly grin.
"You should tell him, Logie." Carlos says and smiles at Logan.
Logan shakes his head. He want to tell him that James likes girls, that's James's straight. That he's straight, for pete's sake, but in a moment of subtle insanity, instead says,
"I don't think so."
Carlos sighs and gives Logan a look. "Well, I still think you should tell him."
"Nope." Logan says, trying not to snap.
Carlos must have known Logan was close to getting angry, because he turns away and watches tv in silence for the rest of the afternoon until Kendall and James get back from Roque Records where they had to go and re-do their parts.
Logan goes back to his book, uninterrupted, but now instead of reading, he stares at the book. In his mind, he goes over Carlos's words over and over again.
He tries not to focus so much on it. Nothing good ever comes from him paying too much attention to those feelings. Anyway, Carlos didn't even know what he was talking about.
Days pass by; not as stressful as before. Logan even starts to go to the pool everyday. He's even getting a tan, which he has to admit, he's proud of. It's not everyday that he got tan. What with all the reading he did, always cooped up in the apartment. It didn't bother him, but it was a clear sign that he was inside a little too much.
Logan sighs and fends off his negative thoughts. At this moment, when he shakes his head to his own self, he happens to glance over at the beach chairs and catches James staring at him. Logan gets trap in his piercing gaze; it's like he can't even move or look away. Part of him doesn't want to. Logan begins to blush and yet, he doesn't look away. His stomach begins to feel like he has butterflies and he finally turns away.
You're pathetic. Don't even look at him. Logan scolds himself. He gives himself a mental shake of his head and swims for a little while longer. He begins to backstroke and closes his eyes, enjoying the warm feel of the sun on his skin.
It's not until a couple of days later that he can't ignore James and/or try to not notice how he keeps looking at him. Kendall and Carlos notice as well. They smirk to each other when ever they think Logan isn't looking. Oh, but he is looking! And he sees how they are talking more and more to each other in secrecy.
Logan finally realizes one day what they were whispering about. Well, they told him actually. This is what happened:
"I told you that you liked him." Carlos began when he and Kendall entered the lonely apartment and face the quiet occupant. James was still down at the pool, and Mama Knight and Katie were off school shopping. So it was only them three in the apartment. "Even Kendall says that you do like him!" Carlos said, smiling broadly.
"What?" Logan looked between them both. "What are you talking about?" He played it cool, but he knew exactly what they were talking about.
"You know, Logie. You think you can hide your small crush on James from us? It was only time before any of us noticed." Kendall said, and watched him with understanding. "Carlos told me you're denying your feelings to yourself."
"What?" Logan squawked and he sat up, closing his book and letting it fall on the couch. "I am not denying anything."
"Yes, Logie, you are." Carlos said, eyes sad.
"I am not."
"Okay, do you like James? Yes or no?" Kendall asked. "Answer honestly, Logan. You know we'll know if you're lying."
"I-I d-don't..." Logan stuttered, embarrassed and heart beating fast. He looked from Carlos's worried expression to Kendall's patient, knowing one and he snapped. "Yes! Yes, I do!" Logan said, then covered his mouth with one of his hands and he silently walked away.
"Logan..." Carlos began, and tried to follow.
"No, don't." Logan shook his head and closed his eyes in embarrassment. Then he went to his room and didn't come out until the next day.
To say that things got awkward between Logan and the others was an understatement. Either he tried to avoid them all or he would talk to them fine for a second, before he would blush and then he would quickly find an excuse and leave.
This had all been happening for a month.
Logan sighs as he got out of bed and got some clean clothes to wear. He looks over at Kendall's bed, the taller boy was still wrapped in his sheets, snoring away the morning. Logan chuckles to himself, before getting a towel and heading to the bathroom. He relaxed under the hot spray. Things were hectic, and in between it all, James was still staring at him. It made it harder for Logan to keep himself away. To not look or to even wish that James would stop.
It was a guilty pleasure. Logan sighs and turns off the tap. He quickly gets dressed into black shorts and a white shirt.
Who was he kidding? He liked James and he had it bad.
Okay, this wasn't exactly a revelation. It was a step in the right direction, right? Maybe he could get over this small crush if he admits it to himself every day. But then, thinking of James, Logan's chest tightens and he begins to have a warm feeling start at the pit of his stomach. Soon, he's smiling stupidly at himself in the mirror. Soon, however, it turns to horror and he backs up into the wall. Damn it, this was not going to work if he kept it to himself.
He had to get it out of his system. He had to see James, talk to him, get a fix and then he'll be cured.
Then someone calls at the door.
"Loges? You in there?" It was James. Of course it was. Determination was reflected back to him from the mirror, and Logan knew what he had to do.
He swings the door open and James stands there, smiling at him.
"Sorry, I needed to take a sho-" Logan doesn't let him finish. Instead, he pulls James inside, close to him, and Logan already feels dizzy from this closeness, the body heat all too intimate itself. He feels hot all of a sudden, and he looks at James, who looks a bit confused, then down to his lips and Logan licks his own. Mindful of everything, he closes the door and then he faces James again. He tugs him down from his shirt and presses his lips against James's. He moans as James deepens the kiss. Logan pushes him against the door, and wraps his arms around James's neck.
The kiss ends too soon, and only because of air. Logan curses inwardly at his need for air and says, "I like you." to James. James gives him another kiss, this one just as mind-blowing as the first.
"I like you too." James says and they continue to kiss, James's shower altogether forgotten. They just can't get enough of each other.
In between their breaks for air, while they continue to hug and whisper to each other how they have felt like this for a long time, Logan makes a mental note to thank Carlos and Kendall later for encouraging him to tell James.
For now, Logan continues to kiss his James. Each kiss better than the last.
The End
Review, please. Tell me what you thought.