A Fan Fiction from Yuffie's point of view. Begin's just before DoC. First Person; Yuffentine.

A Ninja's Tale

How do I get myself into situation's like this…? I mean, COME ON! Out of everyone in Edge, and I mean everyone, I'm the one they want AND THEN I get pulled onto this car ride from hell! I didn't even see the logo on the side of this damn truck. I demand a lawyer! I demand retribution! FREEDOM!!! Okay, maybe I should be so melodramatic, but if I wasn't, I would be me. Oh, gawd. This sucks. How dare they kidnap the Great Materia Hunter, Yuffie Kisaragi, future empress of Wutai! I should show them my awesome ninja skillz, like bad!…But, then…We might crash and die, and that's no good. How can I pull pranks if I'm dead? Plus, I mean, COME ON, dying before you even hit 20? NO WAY, NO HOW. Nun-uh. No, no, and no. And where the hell are we even goin'? GAWD.

Wow…Look at all this materia! It's so beautiful!! Oh, shit. I only have 200 gil. That's no good. Weeeeeeeell….I AM the Greatest Materia Hunter in the world, the Sexy Grand Ninja Yuffie, future Empress of Wutai! It'd be a breeze, besides, the dude runnin' the place is an old fart. He wouldn't even notice! With one ninja-rific swoop, I shall be the owner of some damn freaking awesome materia! Whootness, baby.

So I round the corner to enter the store. Ten steps away. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. Wait, what the hell? Why are they blocking the way to MY precious materia, huh? NO. FAIR.

"Hey, could ya move or what?"

Okay, so maybe that was kinda rather rude, but they should of expected it.

"Are you Miss Yuffie Kisaragi?"

Okay, what are with these freaks? What do the want with me, huh?

"Yeah, but who wants to know, huh?"

The guy's taking out his walkie talkie? What the hell is up?

"We found her; over."

"On our way!"

"EEK!"

A trunk whorls around the cornor and the doors in the back the bigass truck opens. Not cool. So not cool. Two of the guys grab me.

Oh shit. This ain't good.

"Gitofme!!"

They throw me into the truck, great.

'Just fucking great. '

I try to get out, but there's to many of them. Snap. I try again. Same result.

"Please sit still, Miss Kisaragi.

So. Here I am. On my way to my doom. Oh my gawd. I'm gonna die. There gonna…Bake me or something crazy like that, I bet. Yuffie Pot Pie. Healthy and Nutritious . GROSSNESS. So. Totally. Gross. Okay, I'm won't be able to eat pie EVER again…Okay, may I will be able to, but not without a bad thought!…Or not…Uh, yeah, I still love pie. Ku ku ku. Aw, man, that reminds me. I'm hungry. Shit. That reminds me that I'm thirsty. Damn…That reminds me I'VE GOTTA PEE BAD. Freak. Why don't they just kill me now, huh?

The truck breaks. I look around as everyone gets up. Okaaaaaay.

"Please follow me, Miss Kisaragi."

Alrightie. Game time. Get into an empty hall way. A punch here, a kick there. Shove a few throwing stars up his ass while I'm at it, then finally! Yuffie's Amazing Shrunkin Throwing Blow Out! BAAM! Okay, no baam, to dorky. Okaaaay, into the hallway we go! It's your time to shine Yuffie-chan, your time to shine.

"HIIIIIIII-YAAA!"

BAAM! (Oops, least it was only a mental baam.) I ram my foot into his face. BANG! I ram my fist into his stomach and he doubles-over. Wimp! I pull my shrunkin off my back. Okay! Welcome to the Yuffie show! In today's episode our young and sexy hero must fight her way out to the evil clutches of the…Erm, evil people? That'll work. Well, anyway, will she make it out and save herself! Stay tuned to find out! Ha ha!

Sooooooooooo…This wasn't as easy as originally thought. This place is like a freaking maze! I hate mazes. I can never find my way out. Why can they have maps? That would make it some much easier, but, uh, wait, wait, wait…It isn't suppose to be easy, right? GAH! Focus, Yuffie, focus! Ohhhhhhh! Let's turn here! I have a good feeling about here! So, I round the corner and, boom. Kidnap-y dudes.

"Oh, shit."

Well, needless to say, I kicked there asses. When I threw my shrunkin, it was like time stood still! Maybe cause I casted stop. Ku ku ku. As they fall, I walk past. EASY AS PIE! See, I like pie again already, though the 'Yuffie Pot Pie' thing is still an unpleasant though. Who's wanna be pie. You'd get eaten. I mean, come on, people naturally love pie! Hey, hey, hey, hold up, hold on, wait a damn second.

"Reeve?"

He looks at me, all 'I should of known you'd do this'.

"Yuffie! Are you done knocking out members of the WRO now?"

"Huh? What's the WRO?"

I walk up to him.

"WRO stand for the World Regenesis Organization, Yuffie. We aid the Planet in it's healing process and protect it from those that would wish to harm it. I had some member's find you and bring you here."

Reeve spoke in a matter- of-factly tone. How the hell was I suppose to know that?

"How the hell was I suppose to know that Reeve. If you had just called me, your guys wouldn't have throwing stars up their asses."

He looked shocked.

"I'm kidding, Reeve, though if I had had the time..."

I chuckle evilly.

Reeve had been one of my resent victims. It's amazing what happens when one replaces someone's shaving cream with creamed cheese, whipped up into a real nice and smooth goo-like state, ya know, like shaving cream. Funny. As. HELL. I almost laughed my ass off. Literally. He started shaving and everything! He musta had a stuffed nose that day or something'. He realized it was creamed cheese when he accidentally licked it. The look on his face was priceless. And, hey, that's one of my lower ranked pranks. When I prank Cloud, I go wild.

Well, Reeve began shaking his head and all. He gestures to me.

"Follow me, Yuffie."

"Whatever."

So, I follow him and we walk into this…Command room thing. Techno gadgets everywhere. He sits down at this table. So do I. Hard seat. No cushions or anything. With all this high priced stuff in the room, they could afford a damn cushion or two. Shit, he's talking again.

"Huh?"

I blink.

"I said, we need your help Yuffie. We want you to head the espionage and intelligence gathering department."

"Wait, wait, wait, wait, WAIT. Hold a sec. You want ME--"

I point at myself.

"To head, be in charge of, control, if you will, a WHOLE department?"

"Yes."

Damn. That was a waaaaaay to simple a reply. Uhhhhhh, I think not.

"Nope, no way, no how. Nuh-uh."

"Yuffie, please! We need your help! You're the best at what you do! Your prefect for the job. With your ninja skills, we can gather all the information we need."

I sigh, looking to the side. I have a thought.

"Wait…If…I did this…Would I be, like…A Super Secret Ninja Spy?"

I blink. So does Reeve.

"I never thought about it that way, but, in a manner of speaking, yes."

Holy freaking cow. Imagine…I could be- Super Secret Spy Hunter…No…Erm…Super Materia Hunter Spy? No, no, no! Super Secret Sexy Materia Hunter, Yuffie Kisaragi! Anyways, I don't really think I can get out of this, huh? I mean, I'm kinda stuck…Hold it.

"Will I get payed?"

"Yes, you will. 6, 000 gil every two weeks, plus expenses covered. One week of vacation AND a free crate of mastered materia."

"Reeve, you just got yourself a new head of espionage and intelligence gathering. Oh, and have I ever told you I love you?"

I grin at the thought of all that materia. I know I'm acting childish, but acting your age is SO overrated. Beyond, even. Well, Reeve. Fear the melodramatic antics of Super Secret Sexy Materia Hunter, Yuffie Kisaragi, future ruler of Wutai! Hi-ya! Fear my awesome coolness! Fear my awesome sexiness! YAY! I am sooooo gonna rock.

"That's wonderful, Yuffie! I'm so pleased you agreed! Now, to fill you in on our current problem. You see…Shinra had a secret department known as Deepground. There, they turn normal humans into killing machines. They know nothing but killing. They have no remorse. They kill because they were thought killing was fun, in a sense. Do you remember the mass disappearance a Junon a few weeks ago?"

"Uhhhhhhhh…"

I rack my brain.

"I remember seeing something about it on T.V…I think…30 or 40 people went missing, very suddenly without trace. Why?"

Reeve sighs.

"Those numbers are highly exaggerated. It wasn't 30 or 40 people that went missing. It was 1200. 1200 people suddenly go missing, without a trace. The people in Edge say they can hear screams and wails coming from the direction of Midgar. Imagine, the sound of a thousand voices riding on the wind…Yuffie, we believe Deepground is behind this…A expedition force and a T.V. crew went into where we believe the door to Deepground is. In the last footage recorded, not yet released to the public, you can hear the screams and cries of them all as the disappear and the camera breaks…We have to stop this, Yuffie! That's why we need you!"

Shit.

"That…That's…Horrible! This has to be stopped. But what can I do, Reeve?"

"Yuffie. You are an expert ninja. Not only can you fight, but you can gather information that we need. We already found a few places of interest, but we'll go over them later. Right now, I need to text Vincent. I need to ask him to meet my in Kalm in a few days."

"Wait! Reeve! Vinnie, I mean Vincent, has a cell phone??? REALLY?"

"Uh…Yes…"

"I see…"

"Well, I'm going to go now, Yuffie. Please feel free to look around acquaint your self to the building and the people in it."

"Okay!"

Ohhhhhhhhhhh! That stupid Vinnie!

I walk around looking here and there.

He makes me sooooo mad! He gets a cell phone and doesn't even tell me! The jerk! That just pisses me off!! Speaking of Vinnie…Wonder how he's doing…I've NEVER met someone with as much emotional baggage as he has. Gawd, if I live in a coffin for 30 years, I'd go crazy. Totally, utterly, CRAZY! How does he NOT die? Hey, how does he not die!? Seriously! Does he have a mini-fridge and a microwave in his coffin or something'? OOOOOOH! Maybe a T.V. too! I bet he watches sappy dramas all day, then microwaves a hot pocket for dinner!

I watch inside my head a chibi Vinnie dance in his coffin, eating a hot pocket while watching a sappy death scene in 'Days of Our Chocobo's'. Then chibi Yuffie, that would be me, swoops in a steals the hot pocket. Then she dance on top of the coffin with a cane. HA!

I giggle as my thoughts revolve around Vinnie a moment longer. I think about the first time we meant and what I though of him. It was a moment I rather relive. I shake my head as I stomp down a hall to an unoccupied room. Laying down on the bed, I close my eyes and quickly drift off to sleep.

"Awwww! Spike! Do we really have to come down here! It's creepy and bats are EVERYWHERE! I bet they're vampire bats, too…"

Spike shakes his head. Cloud(Spikes, which is a duh.), Aeris, and I came down first. I really didn't want to come, but Spike made me, the dumbass jerk. I bet we're gonna find something really creepy in this basement room Spike's tryin' to find. Damn. There it is. Maybe the key won't work! Maybe the locks got switch or the key doesn't even go to this door! Whoops, false hope. The damn door just swung open..

"Come on, Yuffie!"

Aeris smiles. She always smiles. It's, like, her thing or whatever. It's like her face was frozen while smiling. Well, hey, I have to admit, I like the chick. There's just something about here that's…Likeable.

I follow Aeris. I look around a gasped.

"Why the hell are coffins in here!"

Spike just shakes his head, looking around. Spike and Aeris poke around the different coffins. There were many different coffins, mostly small ones, but in the middle, was the largest coffin in the whole room

I'm stuck with the one in the middle. It's the biggest and it's black, too. There's just something creepy about it. Why me? Why does it ALWAYS have to be Yuffie, Materia Hunter Extraordinaire.

I cautiously walk up to it and just poke the lid. I mean, what could a small little poke do? A lot, apparently. Suddenly the lid pops off and this freakishly weird gothic emo man pops out, landing on the coffins edge! I scream. So does Aeris. So does Spike

"Oh, shit!!! It's a vamp, it's a vamp, it's a vamp!!!! It's an emo gothic vamp!!!"

He looks at me as I back up against the wall of the room. Suddenly, I feel light headed and begin falling to the floor. I hear someone call my name, but, I don't remember who…

I moan and feel covers being pull over me. I blink, slowly, to clear my vision. Suddenly, emo gothic vamp dude swims into focus. Damn. I open my mouth, but he places his hand over it.

"You passed out in the basement of Shinra manor and Cloud asked if I could help them carry you back. He said something a drooling."

I sit up, staring at him. He's tall, like, 6' tall, long, black hair, totally wild, freakishly red eyes, but some how hot, kinda like Spike's glowing blueish-green eyes, tight pants, tight shirt, freaky metal arm with claws, a awesome gun, and a flowing red…Cloak?

What's with the cloak? Aren't they a bit…Dated? Just how OLD is this dude…This very sexy dude, I might add…No! Must focus! FFFFFOOOOOCCCCCUUUUSSSS!

"Uhhhhhhhhhh…"

He tilts his head. I realize I staring.

"Oh, uh, t-thanks them! Ha ha ha!"

I laugh nervously.

Damn, he's sexy. Beyond even. Shit, I'm staring! Must. Not. Stare! Gah! I can't help it! Soooooo sexy! NO! MUST RESIST SEXY VAMP DUDE!

"Who are you?"

"My name is Vincent. Vincent Valentine."

"Vincent, huh?"

I pause, thinking. I mutter under my breath.

"Vince. Vin. Vinster. V-man. Vinnie…"

He looks at me. I suddenly burst out.

"It's nice to met ch'ya Vinnie!"

He raises an eyebrow. Without saying a word, he goes and sits down.

Well, looks like he isn't much of a talker…

I wake up, suddenly. I blink and look around. I see Reeve.

"Yuffie! I have your first mission!"

"Oh, joy…"

I stifle my yawn.