An Idol Wednesday

by Zye

To unknowing eyes the lair appeared to be devoid of life; yet, for those who know of the existence of the four terrapin brothers they are affronted with a depressingly mundane, utterly idol Wednesday.

Donatello had retreated to his lab shortly following their dinner, firmly stating he is not to be disturbed. Candle light flickered, casting shifting shadows across the stone like figure of Leonardo meditating peacefully in the unusual stillness. As for Raphael, he decided to spend some quality time with his little bro Mikey, nestled in Splinter's favorite Lazyboy he quickly slipped into unconsciousness.

"No click…Nope click …Boring click …no click …no click...ahhh there is nothing on! Nope click …seen it click …LAME click ….no click …no click ….sigh no click," sprawled across the battered couch Michelangelo continued to search in vain for anything that would relieve boredom with the help of the turtles' multi-screen entertainment system. With mounting frustrations, his thumb went into to over-drive and the channels flew by in a blurs of colors and snippets of sound. With an aggravated moan he tossed the remote to the far cushion, feigning death by 'the blahs.'

Now everyone who knows Michelangelo knows that a bored Michelangelo equals trouble, period; no doubt about the chaos he'll cause when he reaches such a state. Abruptly he sat straight up, frantically searching his immediate surroundings for some abstract form of entertainment. A slow grin spread across his face as his baby blue eyes zeroed in on a very promising target.

Using all his ninja stealth, Michelangelo cautiously crept within leaping distance of his dormant brother, Raphael; with a little wriggle he leapt perfectly onto his brother's lap. Mikey was instantly rewarded with a surprised snort and loud grunt.

Raphael, as expected, responded to the attack by simultaneously raising his left arm to block as his right hand moved to strike. Mikey easily captured Raph's right wrist and leaned forward in an amusing struggle to pin it over his brother's head.

"Mikey," Raph growled in a gravely voice as his left hand found a clumsy purchase on Mike's right chest plate.

Michelangelo chuckled as he moved his right hand in a sweeping motion along Raphael's sensitive sides; once again earning him a series of delightful reactions as his brother squeezed his eyes tightly shut and jerked his body in attempt to throw Mikey off.

Squealing with delight, Mikey tugged his drowsy brother's captured wrist down and pinned it beneath his thigh. Then Mikey scooted higher on his struggling brother and straddled Raph's plastron rendering the turtle's legs and right hand useless. With a devilish grin and both hands free Mike redoubled his efforts digging in mercilessly over every ticklish area he could reach.

Raphael panted and bucked, groaned and squirmed, growled and sank impossibly deep into the chair's cushions but couldn't quite knock his relentless little brother off. His only chance was to somehow blind the little terror and hope for an opening to evade the tricky assault. His left hand snaked its way up to snag the tails of Mike's bandana unfortunately it was an awkward angle and he only managed to slightly disarrange the orange fabric.

"Awwwwe come on Raphie," Mikey purred close to his brother's cheek, "Mikey wants more!"

'Crash'

The sound of ceramic breaking upon the cement floor instantly interrupted Michelangelo's focus on his games; he sat straight up and turned his attention towards the source of the noise. With the sudden halt in the attack, Raphael finally managed to forcefully throw Mike off his lap and struggled to sit up against the worn chair cushions.

Michelangelo saw a flash of olive toned skin and a streak of purple before he was unceremoniously dumped from Raphael's lap. Reacting instinctually Mikey rolled with his fall, landing in a crouch while simultaneously straightening his bandana; smiling slyly he spared an amused glance at his flailing brother then turned his attention towards Donnie.

The purple clad brother was standing just outside his lab's ajar door completely unconcerned with the jagged shards of his formerly favorite coffee mug at his feet. Instead he was staring with wide eyes, his mouth wordlessly forming questions, and his chocolate brown eyes darting to a breathless Raphael struggling to sit up on the Lazyboy, to a flushed Mikey posed on the floor, and to the images on TV screens.

Raphael rigidly pushed himself into a seated position upon the chair and froze as he processed the pictures playing on the screens; the volume was low however the sounds his keen ears absorbed sent an unnatural chill down his spine. He felt heat burning across his face, his eyes widen with realization as he sudden became aware of how such a scene may be perceived.

Donatello's mind whirled at a thousand miles per hour trying to assess the situation he happened upon concerning his two boisterous brothers… 'Michelangelo flushed and excited perched over Raphael; plus, Raphael straining and groaning beneath Michelangelo; plus, the TV screens depicting a scene of two naked human males mating (?), having intercourse (?), having sex (?) upon a sand dune; equals

Error

Cannot compute

Reenter known data…

As Donatello's brain slowly rebooted for the next cycle, Raphael leap to his feet and shook his head from side to side, Michelangelo gasped at the screens then swooped for the remote on the couch and Leonardo made his presence known by stepping out of the shadows, his eyes narrowed upon Raphael.

Don closed his eyes and took a breath before a second internal analysis of the unusual circumstances… [Michelangelo's fleeting eye contact equals guilt] "Mmmm"

Add [Raphael's reddening checks equals embarrassment]"huh"

Multiply by [a male plus male love (?), sex (?) scene on all 23 screens]

Equals Michelangelo and Raphael, in theory, are a mated pair (?)'

Leonardo's posture was steeled for confrontation, "Raphael. Explain what you are doing with Michelangelo." It was not a question, Leonardo's tone clearly dripped with accusation.

That 'holier than thou' tone cleared Raphael's mind faster then a double espresso, stubborn defiance flared behind ember eyes. Raph growled and his muscles tensed…However before he could show Fearless where he should shove it; Donatello quickly stepped between them; it was time to test his hypotheses.

In a gentle voice Don coaxed, "Mike, Raph remember that we love you. No matter what we are a family and will always love you. Is there anything you'd like to tell us?"

That thoughtful statement hatched an idea for the ultimate prank; Mikey buried his face in his hands to contain the giggles that threatened to give the plan away. Mikey took a deep breath, quickly composing a proper mix of relief and adoration across his face then launched into the act.

"Whew that is a load off my mind," Mikey closed the distance and latched onto Raph's arm, "We were totally freaking about how everyone would react to our uhm." Mikey blushed flawlessly on cue, peeked at Raph who looked like he'd just seen a six foot cockroach. Mikey reached across to snag Raphael's free hand, "uhm Raphie what would you call, heh, us?"

"Wha? Nothing," Raph's eyes were impossibly wide, his arm jerked out of Mike's grasp, "Th...th...there's… no… us, Mike, seriously no, we wasn't doin' nothing."

Michelangelo turned to completely face the turtle in red, delicately he placed his free hand across Raph's upper carapace then softly pleaded in a whisper at carried his words to all in the room, "Raphie, we… we don't have to hide anymore…"

Raphael took a step back from this nightmare, "Mike this isn't funny…" then stilled completely, a flicker of outrage sparked deep within the embers of his eyes however before his anger roared to life it was doused by the moisture pooling in the corners of those baby blue eyes… pleading with him(?)

Michelangelo threw his arms desperately around Raphael, "You said you loved me, Raphie, please don't…" Mike's shoulders shook with his now free falling tears, "please tell me you still love me?"

Watching the scene unfold, Leonardo quickly came to the conclusion that he was out of his league. Clearly Raphael had deeply upset Michelangelo but he didn't have previous training in this unusual circumstance to guide himself with a course of action. Leo longingly turned to Donatello, hoping his more intellectual brother had a solution to… to what exactly is this?

Donatello was intently observing the two in question; dissecting their dialog, their posture and their body language… He determined that it was time for an intervention before… Too late.

Raphael aggressively broke from the suffocating embrace and shoved Michelangelo away from him. He bared his teeth and hissed, "No I don't fuckin' love…"

Michelangelo, overtaken with dramatic sobbing, suddenly fled from the room disappearing up the stairs and into his room. They could still hear his heartbreaking moans behind his closed door.

Raphael jaw dropped open, stuttering, "Whaat… no wait Mikey I didn't mean…I meant…damn it MIKE…"

Leonardo's restraint snapped; he lunge at Raphael and firmly spun him towards a nearby wall, pinning Raph's arm painfully behind his back. Leonardo snarled, "You will do right by this mess Raphael! Do you hear me? You will do right by Michelangelo, your little brother? You will…Damn it Raphael…how…how could you!"

Raphael was temporally stunned by his introduction to the brick wall as multi-colored polka dots swirled across his blackened vision. Soon ice cold fury clawed itself to the surface and a threatening growl vibrated the very air around them, "I didn't do anything."

It didn't take much for Donatello to process the hopelessly out-of control situation. Abandoned and betrayed Raphael went on the defenses and Leonardo had attacked with brutal physical violence and poisonous words. Not the best way for the short-fused turtle to be forced 'out of the closet.' He had to act quickly before Raphael broke free of Leo's hold and retreated into the shadows.

"Leo, calm down. This isn't the way." Donatello laid a steady hand upon Leo's shoulder, "Let go of Raph, I'll take care of him. You go have some tea and then see if you can talk with Mike."

Leonardo stared at Donatello momentarily before he released his hold on Raphael; Raphael in turn snorted defiantly, "n' light a fuckin' candle while you're at it asshole."

"Raph," Don warned as he stretched his arm between his brothers, "Please…uhm…come with me. We can talk privately in the lab."

"There ain't nothing to talk about, Don." Raphael snapped.

Don searched Raph's eyes and gave him his best sympathetic smile, "Just humor me, please?" Donatello walked calmly towards the lab's door, opened it then cordially waited for Raphael to grudgingly go into the lab. Don spared one last glance at Leo, who seemed to have listened to the advice about the tea, and then followed Raph, closing the door behind him.

Donatello crossed the lab and opened a cabinet, after a quick scan of the contents he selected a medicine bottle off a shelf then filled a mug with water from the sink before he took a seat in his wheeled desk chair. Raphael furiously paced around the lab for a few minutes as Don calmly observed in the background.

"Raph, talk to me…" Don asked, "I meant what I said earlier…I do understand what you must be feeling…confusion, scared, perhaps you even feel as though you've done something wrong but you do not have to feel guilty Raph, I've done some research on the matter and from what I've studies attraction to your own kind is completely natural…"

Raphael halted mid-stride and took a deep breath, "Mike and I weren't doing anything wrong, Don, nothing I swear…he started this…this insane…"

"Stage One: Denial and Isolation," Don recited gently, "How long have you been isolating yourself because of this Raph?"

Raph's teeth grinded then overturning a work table filled with Don's various unfinished projects, Raphael stormed over towards his brother and snarled right in Don's face, "Damn it… not you too! Fuck! NO One EVER FUCKIN' BELIEVES ME!"

Donatello didn't even flinch, calmly he whispered "Stage 2: Anger; we both know you've been angry for a long time Raph."

"Shit Don, come on," Raph's eyes widen, pleading, "You know me… how could I ever cross that line… I know we're brothers… I'd never…"

"Stage 3: Bargaining." Donatello smiled softly as Raph sank to his knees in front of him, his hand cupped Raph's cheek and thumb gliding to and fro across emerald skin, "Raph I understand, I do. I'm here for you and it is a perfectly normal process; we mature," he shrugged, "our instincts demand for us to find a mate Raph, a mate who is of the same species…"

Raphael pulled away shaking his head, "No… Don…that ain't what was happening… we'd…we'd…I never have that…never…I know that…believe me I know that…"

Don closely followed Raph's retreat, stopping him with a warm embrace, "Stage 4: Depression. You are not alone Raph, I promise you…you're not alone and you have the right to be happy…"

Raphael was numb; this was just a bad dream…a bad dream with Don's voice lecturing about 'the birds n the bees'…yeh… guess this part not so bad its kind-of funny after earlier. Through the fog of Raphael's rapidly deteriorating mind Don's words echoed…what did he just say?

Donatello's thumb was back sliding across Raph's cheek, an olive toned hand slide slowly along an emerald thigh, "Stage 5…" whispered Don, his beak barely an inch away from Raph's, "Acceptance."

Raphael became acutely aware of Don's hands touching his skin, and then of Don's mouth timidly pressing against his… ah shell…