Disclaimer: The Worst part of this story is that I don't Own ICARLY!

iLove You Not

Fredward Benson was having the one of the worst days ever. First his alarm clock forgot to wake him so instead of an annoying beeping sound coming from his side table, he got a screaming outside his bedroom door with one of her weird rhymes. Freddie jumped out of bed and quickly got ready for school, through his backpack on his shoulder, and ran out his apartment, ignoring his mothers other rhymes about growing boys and the fact that his stomach was yearning for food.

He ran to the elevator and pushed the down button and waiter for two minutes, but to him felt like 30 minutes. When the doors finally opened, he had to deal with the next problem. The Elderly. He stepped in the already crowded elevator and waited quietly for the doors to close. He closed his eyes and hoped nobody else would get on, but come on, when has anything good ever happened for the tech nerd. The doors opened on the 1st floor and more elderly people stood on the other side of the door.

"Sorry to disappoint you, but as you can see there jut isn't enough room for- OW!" Freddie shouted as one of the old ladies punched him.

"Oh shut up, Brenda!" The old lady hollered at him.

"I'm a guy!" Freddie yelled back.

"I STILL have ANGINA!" Another old man Freddie recognized yelled.

"SHUT UP BERT!" The same old lady told, um, Bert.

"okay..."

Finally the doors of the elevator closed and so did Freddie's eyes. Through out the rest of the ride the old lady, Marge, kept yelling at people and tried constantly to start a fight with Freddie, but Freddie refused. He knew he couldn't fight with an old lady no matter how rude the rotten woman was being.

When the elevator doors opened once more he had to wait for some of the elderly to leave before he could go but ended up staying longer because of the injuries they had done to him with there evil canes and demented wheelchairs! Once he was able to get out Freddie had forever made up his mind: He is Never riding an elevator with Old People ever again!

Freddie ran out of Bushwell plaza while Lewbert was fighting with Marge about how he was NOT her son and she needs to start taking her medication.

When Freddie was half way to school, the best thing happened, it started to rain. Freddie looked at his watch to find that the school doors close in 2 minutes and he was about 5 minutes away. Freddie didn't want to waste anymore time so he ran. It was going fine until, well, he slipped in a puddle and was drenched head to toe.

He carefully got up from the sidewalk and looked at his scratched up hands then his watch. He still had enough time so he picked up his back pack and walked the rest of the way, it wasn't even that far away maybe a block.

When he finally pushed through the double doors of the school doors he was greeted by a not-so- happy Briggs," Good Morning, Miss. Briggs."

"Good Morning my butt! Get to class before your late, Fredward Benson! Why are you all wet!" The red haired teacher screamed at him through her bullhorn. Now if the old people and the rain didn't wake him up enough, the bullhorn defiantly did.

"Um, I slipped in a puddle," Freddie said hoping she would just leave him alone.

"Well in that case, GET TO CLASS!" Briggs shouted into her bullhorn.

"LOUD!" Freddie said making a beeline to his first class. He got inside the classroom right when the bell rang.

"Mr. Benson could you take a seat, I don't know, NOW!" Mr. Howard yelled.

"Sure," He said throwing his backpack on t

he floor next to his desk and sat.

For the rest of the morning Freddie had to drag him and his soaking cloths until he was able to see Carly during lunch. So when that bell signaling class was over he practically jumped out of his seat.

Freddie sped walked through the halls until he was stopped by a high bubbly voice," Hi Freddie."

Freddie inwardly groaned and turned around toward Shannon," Hey Shannon."

"So what's up," Shannon said popping the p.

Freddie wanted to tell this obsessive girl to go away, but Freddie is to nice to ever do that, unless it was Sam. See for some reason Sam just rips away at Freddie's goodie two shoe walls. She loves seeing him act out and he loves acting out, but he can only do it with her. No one else seems to bring out that side of him.

Out of the corner of his eye he spotted a certain Brunette," Uh, i have to go Shannon I'll see you around." Freddie said walking away before she could say another word.

"Hey Freddie," Carly said as she set some books in her locker.

"Hey," He greeted back.

"Bad day?" Carly asked, her back still turned toward him. She didn't wait for his reply as she reached in her locker and gave him a change of dry cloths.

Why does Carly keep an extra pair of clothing for Freddie? Lets just say this wasn't the only bad day our little tech nerd has had to endure.

"Thanks Carly," Freddie said turning around and walking towards the men's room. He quickly got changed and disposed of his wet cloths in a plastic Mall-Mart bag.

Freddie stepped out of the bathroom and made his way back to Carly locker, but instead of Carly there was his favorite blond headed demon cooking eggs in her locker with a spoon.

Freddie chuckled he could always count on Sam to make him laugh on his I-just-want-to-die days.

"Yo Puckett."

"What do you want Benson?" Sam said scooping up her over easy eggs and putting them on her ham sandwich.

"Just making conversation," Freddie replied leaning against Carly's locker. "Anything new?"

Sam opened her mouth to speak but was cut off by a high bubbly voice," I know your busy and all but Freddie do you think you would go out with me?"Even though Shannon has made it clear that she loves Freddie she had never had the courage to ask him out. All she needed was some pep talk with her friends and she finally had the courage to ask him.

Sam starting laughing while Freddie kind of went pale, Shannon can feel her confidence being wrung out of her and she started to turn a bright shade of red. After what seemed like forever Freddie said in a gentle voice," Shannon I'd love to go out with you," Shannon's face lit up," But I'm dating someone else." Her smile dropped and she wanted to scream.

"And who is she?" She said rather bitterly.

The confidence Freddie was building was starting to break down, but wait Freddie had an idea. It was probably the most stupidest most dangerous most self destroying plan but he had to at least try it.

Freddie practically signed his death warrant the moment he said that one name, "Sam!"

Shannon's face was a rainbow of red, she couldn't believe what she was hearing! Sam and Freddie! They hate each other! Suddenly she automatically calmed down, "Don't worry I read in LionBop that Best Friend Bf/Gf relationships won't last a whole two in two months you will be my date to the Halloween Dance." With that Shannon dusted imaginary dust off her thigh high skirt and walked away leaving a relieved but terrified Freddie.

"So, I'm your girlfriend now?" Sam asked angrily. Don't get her wrong she's had a crush on the nub for the longest time, but being his 'fake girlfriend' so he could get a girl off of his back makes her angry. Like he only notices her when he needs something.

"Sam, just please play along," The nerd begged.

"No."

"Come on, Sam." Freddie pleaded.

"No."

"If you say yes I'll buy you Bolivian bacon and any other kind of food you want," Freddie compromised.

"Dude. No. N-O. No!"

"Sam!"

"Freddie!"

Freddie looked so defeated and some how cute to her. The way his eyebrows scrunch up and his bottom lip involuntarily sticking out.

Sam thought."Fine. I'll be your girlfriend if you become my personal driving monkey, the stuff you aid before, oh and I get to call you whatever I please."

Freddie felt like he could breathe again. He could possibly be done with Shannon forever," Thank you, Sam!"

"Ah ah ah! One more condition," Freddie didn't care he was fantasizing what life would be with out Shannon," Get on your knee and ask me to be your girlfriend."

"Wait, What?" Freddie said shaking out of his carefree world.

"One knee."

"Okay," Freddie said slowly getting down on his knee.

"Now ask me to be you girlfriend."

"Here?"

"Yes here you noob."

"Um okay," Freddie's mouth turned dry as he tried to pit the words out of his mouth and unfortunately for him everybody was starting to leave lunch and started gravitating to the scene."Would you, Sam, be my girlfriend?"

Some people in the crowd, mostly girls (obviously), said awe.

Sam looked around the crowd and looked down at Freddie, " Awe, Freddie. No."

Sam picked up her backpack through it on her shoulder, slamed her locker and walked away from a bunch of laughing kids, amused kids, sympathetic kids, and a very red Fredward Benson

Okay this is the first chapter of my new story iLove you not. Please review because the more you care, the more people love you. Wait, no, thats just me:))))