A/N – This is the third of a series of Hotchner-centric stories. The first one is called "Now You See Me," followed by "Now You Don't." It is not entirely necessary to read those first, but it would probably help with comprehension.
"Courage is being afraid but going on anyhow." Dan Rather
Hardly two days had passed since getting a clean bill of health from his doctors, and Hotch had suddenly found himself back at work, doing his best to get caught back up. Since he hadn't yet been cleared for anything more strenuous than getting a cup of coffee by himself, there was very little he could do other than paperwork.
And somehow—he didn't want to know how Dave had pulled it off—his friend had managed to get assigned to doing more or less the same thing. If he knew Strauss, then it was likely that she thought she was punishing the both of them with the filing of endless useless reports. Amusingly enough, that's probably how Dave had managed to "accidentally"convince her of limiting him to desk duty as well.
He glanced up from the pile on his desk and grinned at the figure standing in his doorway. Dave grinned back at him; his eyes alight with their own private secret. Oh, if only Strauss had known just how his recovery had come about!
"Ready to go?" The older man asked him, walking around the edge of his desk and lightly massaging his shoulders.
"Ngg," he answered low in his throat. His head slumped forwards as Dave's fingers began to truly do their magic on him.
"I'll that as a yes then," Dave whispered playfully in his ear, breathing a warm gust over his neck that made him twitch.
The drive home wasn't too bad, given that rush hour was over. If the rest of the team had been shocked at Hotch announcing his plans to move in with Rossi, they had certainly hidden it very well from him. He still wasn't entirely sure what this thing between he and the other man was, but he knew that it had benefited them both, and currently that was good enough for him. His nightmares were easier to face now that he knew he no longer had to deal with them alone. And as for Dave, his old friend was more at ease now, especially when they were together.
As was their tradition, Dave cooked dinner for them while he changed into something more comfortable. Then, when Dave had finished with all but the final preparations, Hotch set the table and watch the food while the other man changed clothes.
"Why haven't I been letting you cook for me all my life?" Hotch asked half-jokingly later after they had eaten their fill.
"So it was good?" Dave answered with a grin.
"It was good."
His friend nodded and then stood up, wine in hand, and reached for his hand. They had slowly been working up to more in the bedroom, and both men thought it might be time to graduate to something else.
"Let me love you tonight, Hotch," Dave whispered in his ear once they were standing.
Although the prospect made him nervous, he still nodded in acquiescence to the other man's request.
Dave led him by the hand into what had become established as their bedroom. He put their glasses down the side table and then pushed Hotch onto the bed lightly, attacking his mouth as he did so.
"I want to make you forget," Dave growled out against his neck as they readjusted themselves farther up onto the bed. It wasn't necessary to clarify what Hotch needed to forget.
They resumed kissing, Dave tasting him and Hotch letting him as his hands roamed possessively down the sides of the older profiler.
"Shirt," Hotch grunted, pulling ineffectually at the cloth of his friend's cotton t-shirt.
"Yours too," Dave answered as he stripped his own off quickly.
He followed the other man's instructions and soon they were laying chest to chest, heat sparking between every contact point. He felt a responding hardness as Dave's hips jerked a little into his own and he moaned a bit at the sensation. His friend had been nothing but accommodating for him as he slowly had been trying to work through his issues, and he hoped he could reward him for that patience that night.
It was amazing to him that Dave was willing to give him that time. If he had still been with Haley, she likely wouldn't have been able to touch him, let alone want to make love to him.
"Stop with the thinking," Dave ordered roughly as he attached his mouth to one of his nipples, sucking hard and looking pleased at the quiet whimpers coming out of Hotch's mouth.
Hotch pressed his face against the other man's shoulder, breathing in the scent of his friend as he did. Seeing an opportunity for payback, he turned his head and began sucking on the loose folds of Dave's neck, moving his tongue over the hot flesh he found there. The body wrapped around him jerked and Dave let out a moan that he felt through his lips as much as he heard.
"Dave," he instructed after letting go, "touch me." For emphasis, he drove his hips up hard into Dave's body, letting the other man feel just how hard he was.
"You're sure?" Dave asked hesitantly.
"Now, Dave," Hotch gritted out in a ragged whisper. He needed to feel this, feel Dave's heated body against his own. He needed Dave's love to burn away Michael's hate and Haley's indifference. He could barely breathe, he needed it so badly.
He felt Dave's gentle fingers touching the top of his sweats, and then they were pushing down, ridding him of his remaining clothes.
"You too," he ordered harshly, putting an insistent hand in the sides of Dave's sweats and pushing them off the best he could. He felt Dave's fingers intertwine with his, and together they undressed the older man the rest of the way.
And then finally, finally they were both naked, their arousals not fading a bit as they took in each other's bodies.
Hotch had never really taken the time to look at Dave's body before, despite their experiences sharing rooms with one another. The other man groin was covered in dark curls, perhaps even darker than the hair on his head, and he suddenly had a strange urge to touch him, just to see if he could. Shakily, barely breathing, he reached his hand out to the stiff cock in front of him and lightly touched the front of it with just his fingertips. It was different than his own, a bit shorter but thicker. It fit well in with Dave's body type, and Hotch felt a rush of energy as he realized that his friend was hard for him.
"Hotch," Dave's strained voice broke through his contemplations and he looked up at his friend.
"You're perfect," the other man said, his hand in front of him, clearly wanting to touch him, but uncertain about doing so.
Barely thinking, he reached out and grabbed Dave's hand firmly, pulling it to himself. His friend's face was one of bliss, and it only made him harder to look at him like that. The touch on his cock didn't cause that desire to fade either, and he jerked his hips involuntarily as he felt the heat of the other man's hand close around him.
"Hotch," Dave rasped, putting a hand around the back of neck and pulling him in closely.
"Dave?" His hips jerked again, and he wondered what was going to happen next. He hoped that they would get on with it. He didn't know how much more of this he could take.
"Fuck me Hotch," Dave said, looking at him desperately.
"You—I—me?" He stuttered out, shocked to his toes, even as he felt Dave turn over and dig for something in the drawer next to the bed. He felt a bottle of something being pressed into his hand, and he realized with a start that it was lube.
"How?" He said, finally managing to make his brain work enough.
"Get me ready, grease me up," Dave ordered, putting a pillow under his lower back and opening his legs up.
"Never thought of you as a bottom, Dave," Hotch answered weakly, moving his body clumsily in between his friend's legs. He opened the lube, remembering all too well how thankful he had been to hear that sound before Michael had raped him.
"I don't want to hurt you," he whispered. It had hurt a great deal when Michael had prepared him, and he couldn't quite stand the idea of doing that to his fri—to his Dave.
"I'm not a virgin Hotch," Dave growled, taking Hotch's lubed finger and directing it into his own body, moving it in and out several times before releasing his hand.
"Now two?" He whispered, still uncertain. True to word, Dave's anus was easier to work with than his had felt, but he couldn't help but wonder whether the other man would tell him the truth of how he felt when it came right down to it.
"Open me up, Hotch. Get me ready for you," Dave answered with a smirk that wasn't nearly as effective as usual. His cock was dark red, even purple in spots, pre-cum dribbling out the top, making his friend look positively alluring in his obvious need.
He followed Dave's instructions, adding another finger as his muscles relaxed without having to be told. Finally, it seemed his friend was ready and he carefully wiped another handful of lube down his own straining erection. He was panting when he found himself lined up with Dave's body, and he could see that his friend wasn't doing much better.
"For the love of God Hotch, just put it in," Dave ordered breathlessly.
So he did.
"Fuck, Dave," he grunted, pushing himself slowly into the molten heat of his best friend's ass. They were both sweating and breathing hard when he finally was in as far as he could go.
"Hotch," Dave's voice was more whine than sound, and he looked up in concern at his friend. "Please let me kiss you," he demanded, surprising Hotch with the request.
Tentatively, he leaned forwards, feeling Dave's body shift as he moved to touch his mouth. They were still kissing when the almost vice like pressure eased up slightly, and he moaned into the other man's mouth at the feel.
"Fuck me Hotch," Dave pulled back enough to say. "Fuck the demons out; send 'em packing."
He nodded hastily, not trusting his voice to work, and slowly began withdrawing. He pulled two-thirds out and then pressed back in a little faster, before repeating his motion back again. Before long, they had a rhythm going and he could feel the adrenalin singing in his nerve endings as he did. One look at Dave's thrown back head and equally straining cock was enough to assure him that he wasn't hurting the other man, and with that knowledge in hand, he began fucking harder and faster.
Dave felt amazing around him. The man's muscles gripped his cock, sending pleasurable sensations down his spine with each thrust into the almost lava like heat within his body. He was beginning to feel lost, even before Dave began stroking himself with his thrusts.
"No, let me," he rasped, putting his still slick hand around Dave's cock, intertwining his fingers with the other man's hand. He wanted Dave to come, and he wanted his friend to feel as good as he did.
Their bodies were slick with sweat as they worked against one another. Hotch could feel the pleasure building as Dave's breathing got more and more ragged, affecting his thrusts and their strokes likewise. Abruptly, his friend's body went stiff and he watched in open mouthed fascination as he began spurting up over their still intertwined fists. Around his cock, the muscles squeezed harder than ever before in response and he only got in another two or three thrusts before he felt himself coming, pulsating hard into the wet heat of his Dave. The world around him went white, and he felt himself falling forwards, in a boneless heap on top of his friend.
They were both gasping now, their efforts having completely drained them, filling them with an indescribable kind of euphoria. It took some effort on his behalf, but slowly Hotch managed to disconnect himself from the other man, pulling out as gently as he could, and then dumping himself gracelessly onto the cool sheets of the bed beside his lover.
Lover—that was a surprising word to hear inside his head.
It was strange to lay there, both of them totally fucked out, with the knowledge that it had just been his best friend that he had done that to.
"Dave?" He asked quietly after their heart rates had slowed somewhat.
"Hotch?"
"You okay?" He managed to open an eye and look over at his still sweaty, cum covered friend.
"A little sticky, but nothing a shower won't take care of. You?"
"I'm okay," he answered slowly, realizing that he actually was for once.
"Need any help with that shower, Dave?"
His friend's pleased smile was all the answer he needed.