"Look at this dinosaur!" cried Mario. "This dinosaur is so grand!"
Luigi looked at Mario's brand new dinosaur. He put some salt on it. "It is a Saltopus."
Mario started laughing uncontrollably at Luigi's amazing pun. He grabbed a Fire Flower and ate it. He got fire in his hands and shot them downwards, propelling himself skyward.
"Holy snootz, he's airbourne! ZIP! Outta here!" cried Toad.
"With the coconut!" added DK.
Luigi got some wifi connections on the old snickerdoodle and used it to beatbox his way straight down to Cappytown.
"I can see Luigi is a man of impressive stunts and a gorgeous circulatory system," said Toad.
Wario and Waluigi stopped by seconds later and put TWO WHOLE cups of ice cream into the shoes of Yoshi. Yoshi awakened from a state of suspended animation and he was very grateful.
To show his gratitude, Yoshi dropped it like it was hot. In fact, Yoshi was so hot that his dinosaur abs were most appealing to all eyes in the Mushroom Kingdom.
Mario looked down below and HEY-YO! He saw them stinkin' abs. He bolted down and slugged Yoshi something fierce.
"Mario, why did you plummet towards this man?" asked the Donkey Dude who was now a pirate dude.
"I can see this Yoshi is unworthy of such absolute wealth!" replied Mario from the amazing lungs he possessed inside his own single ribcage.
Waluigi began to weep as he saw the savagery in the tone. He took an icepick and climbed Mt. Fuji where he found snow atop.
Wario bounced on his frightful rear to the top with his Wah-friend and then they wrote a brilliant haiku together.
Toad smiled at the camera and took a good selfie that had no hints of evil or malice.
Then Toad won the "Guy of the Year" award from a magazine that no one cares about, rendering all his meaningfulness meaningless.
And that's how I founded Newfoundland.