A/N: Ok, so I was hyper and incredibly bored last night, and I was thinking of Lance's first extreme protectiveness of Ilana. So I was like, "What if she got a paper cut?" And thus, a plot bunny was born. xDD I'm sorry if I'm OOC with anybody; I'm still a newbie to Sym-Bionic Titan. ^^ I love it though! 83 I meant to make Lance ooc in this one though; just too funny to resist! x'D It prolly takes place around the second episode or so. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN SYM-BIONIC TITAN. Happy now, for crushing my dreams? Dx and do you think I'd be writing a fanfic about the show if I owned it? Get a clue.

Ilana's eyes delightedly scanned over each page of the magazine she was skimming over. She wanted to know everything there was to know about being a normal, Earthly teenage girl. There was so much information! She hungrily pondered over each word, storing it in her memory for helpful use later. Ilana came across a quiz that said, "What Style Are You?" She looked at the results: punk, emo, prep, goth, skater, classy, casual, or trendy.

That could definitely be helpful. Now if she could just figure out what those words meant...

Ilana took a few moments' consideration, then decided she'd find out which one she was then get Octus to explain. Satisfied, Ilana reached for a pen and began taking the quiz, circling her personal answer to each multiple-choice question.

In her excited haste, when Ilana quickly flipped the page, a sudden burning pain shot through her finger. "Ow!" she yelped, examining her finger, where there was a barely noticeable scar. How could such a little cut hurt so much? Ilana stuck her finger in her mouth, sucking on it to relieve the pain.

Lance's head snapped up. He'd been watching the window. "What?"

"I..I don't know. I hurt myself somehow." Ilana spoke around the finger in her mouth.

Lance was by her side in an instant, braced for anything, a frown etched in his brow. "Let me see."

"I'm fine, Lance. I can barely see it."

"I said, let me have a look. I'm supposed to be your protector, and that includes this."

"Ease up." Ilana rolled her eyes and took a saliva-damp finger from her mouth, in her irritation not taking the time to wipe it dry on her pants. She slung her hand toward him. Lance looked disgusted but took it anyway.

"Does it hurt?" he inquired, studying it closely.

"Well, yeah, but-"

"OCTUS! First aid kit, stat!"

Ilana facepalmed with her free hand. "Lance, is that really necessary?"

Octus treaded into the room. "What's the problem, Lance?"

"Nothing, I'm fine," Ilana said, just as Lance said, "Ilana's hurt."

Octus registered both comments, however, and came to take a closer look. After analyzing the cut, he reported, "Nothing to worry about. It's a minor cut, resulting from sudden and immediate contact with a sharp or jagged surface, judging by the looks of it."

Ilana clearly wasn't enjoying the attention, but she was clearly relieved at Octus's diagnosis. "See, Lance? He said so himself it was nothing. Happy now?" She swiped back her hand.

"However-" Octus continued.

"However?" Ilana repeated weakly, hating that word.

"..There is a slight, and by slight I mean point zero zero zero nine, percent that germs from the exposure could seep through the narrow opening and-"

"Thank you, Octus," Ilana interrupted through clenched teeth. "You've done enough."

"Let him finish, Ilana," Lance interjected stiffly. "I want to hear what Octus has to say."

Octus nodded. "As I was saying.."

Ilana groaned, burying her head in her hands and wishing she'd never cried out in the first place, wishing that she could be reading her magazine instead of being fussed over, wishing that Lance wouldn't be such a..what's the word- stick-in-the-mud.

Then her savior came. She was literally saved by the doorbell.

"Yoo-hoo, neighbors!" Barb's voice rang out as she peeked through the window.

Octus got up and answered it, pulling open the door. "Barb, you came just in time. I'm attempting to decipher an possible harmful injury-"

"Injury?" Barb rolled up her sleeves. "You came to the right person! Seen everything, nothing fazes me. My ex-husband, though, now he got queasy at the sight of blood-"

Lance walked over, holding Ilana's "cut" hand and dragging her with him. She had a sour look on her face. He held it out. "Take a look at this."

"C'mon, Lance," Ilana protested. "Back in Gal- I mean, back home, I'm sure you've seen way worse than-"

"What am I supposed to be looking at?" Barb demanded, peering at Ilana's outstretched hand closely.

"Right there." Lance indicated.

"Good grief, that's all? The way all of you were carrying on, you would've thought a leg was split open." Barb planted her hands on her hips. "What happened?"

Sheepishly, and shooting a look at Lance, Ilana explained. "I was reading a magazine, and well, when I turned the page, it..started hurting."

"Paper cut, honey. You'd think you'd know something when it slaps you in the face."

"Paper cut," Octus repeated, running that through his databanks. "A potentially harmless yet painful cut. Nothing serious."

"Exactly!" Barb approved. "Your father knows what he's talking about, kids." She beamed and flashed a brilliant smile at Octus.

Ilana scowled, turning an I-told-you-so look on a quiet Lance.

After Barb had made her leave, Ilana stormed back to the couch and snatched up her magazine.

"Careful, you could get another," Octus admonished helpfully.

"We should probably put one of those...what do you call them- bandaids, on it," Lance put in. "Just to be safe."

Ilana couldn't take it anymore. Her face was the picture of fury. "In the name of Galaluna, Lance, it's JUST a paper cut!"

"..Don't even joke like that."

Ilana yelled. "You two are ruining my life!" She stormed up the stairs. "How will we ever be normal when my 'family' is having a panic attack over a paper cut?" The slam of her bedroom door echoed throughout the house. Lance raised an eyebrow at their robot companion.

Octus shrugged. "Typical teenage behavior."

Later that night, in the solitude of her room, Ilana found out that her style was trendy, she was a Virgo, capris were the best for her figure, and a first love was like a burning flame that eventually diminished to a warm, comfortable glow.

Then she came across an ad. A perfume one. A small circle in the middle said, "Scratch and sniff to get a whiff!" Ilana did so and smelled it, gasping out loud. It has such a pleasant fragrance! She kept smelling it, delighted.

Meanwhile, Lance was pressed against the door, listening in. "The fumes could be intoxicated, contaminated with a deadly toxic gas-" he shouted through the door.

"GO TO BED, LANCE!"

A/N: LOL! So? How'd you like it? Was it totally stupid and pointless, or did it actually have some humor to it? xDD I have a lot of story ideas for Sym-Bionic Titan (especially Ilanca ^_^).. I can't wait to get started! 8D Pleeease, review, but no flames! Feel free to leave a positive feedback, but share your honest opinion. Lemme know what you really thought of it. ^^ Thankies!

Oh, and yus, I did get that whole "first love" thing from an old episode of Hannah Montana. Ah, the days before Miley Cyrus became a poledancer..

xDD Anywhoozle, I be out! ^^ Review!