A/N: Apparently I have nothing better to do with my life, so Politics(dot)And(dot)Prose gave me a homework assignment in the following prompt:
Rachel catches Finn in a precarious situation. Finn's line: "I swear it isn't what it looks like!"

This is the result. And now I'm posting it because it's one of the few things I still have after my hard drive was wiped clean. Let me know what you think.
Disclaimer: I don't own or profit from Glee.

Finn had been sleeping a lot lately. Ever since they'd started school again, he'd been sleeping almost immediately from when returned home from football practice until it was time to get up the next morning. Though she assumed he did wake at least once for food. She frowned to herself. She doubted it was any kind of healthy food. Frankly, she was worried about him and she knew he would refuse to see a doctor about this. So she would have to take care of it herself.

Her dads were otherwise occupied tonight, so she decided she would surprise Finn. Well, if she were able to wake him up, that is. It was a beautiful day outside, so she walked the short distance to his house. She knocked for formality's sake, though she'd already come to the conclusion that no one would answer. She pushed the door open and surveyed the kitchen before heading to Finn's room. Looking in the refrigerator, she noticed mostly leftovers and virtually no fruit or vegetables. She was going to have to talk to Finn about his eating habits.

She nudged his bedroom door open with her knuckles and her face went red with embarrassment. She considered just turning around and leaving, but before she could get her feet to move, she blurted out, "Finn?"

He was nestled against his headboard, wrapped in a blanket. Her eyes followed the movements of his hand instinctually. When he heard her, his face turned three shades whiter. "R-Rachel?" He looked down and realized what she was seeing. "Rach, I swear it isn't what it looks like!"

Rachel swallowed audibly. "Really? Because it looks like you're maneuvering your hands around your…nether regions…" Had she really just said that? She was feeling second-hand humiliation and certainly wouldn't mind if a giant whale crashed up through the floorboards and swallowed her whole.

Finn gawped at her before coming to his senses (sort of). "Well, okay, then it is what it looks like. Wait!" He looked at her nervously as she got ready to walk away. "Come here." She didn't budge. "I was watching TV," he explained. "And I didn't have the blanket on before. And I had the remote sitting here." He patted his upper thigh. "And I went to get it so I could change the channel, but I noticed that there was this really stupid, long piece of lint stuck in my zipper. I was trying to get it unstuck so my mom doesn't yell at me again." He grimaced and whipped the blanket off. "I wasn't…" He cleared his throat awkwardly.

Rachel sighed with relief. Even though his jeans were unzipped, everything was still…tucked away. And she did notice the piece of lint tightly wrapped around one of the zipper prongs. She was eternally glad that he was telling the truth because as open as she was about certain things, she didn't think she would be comfortable walking in on Finn's private moments.

Except… "Finn, why did you have the remote on your thigh?" she asked, genuinely curious. That was an unusual placement for such a thing, even by her standards.

He looked at her, confused, and then remembered what he'd just told her. "Oh. Well, honestly, Rach. It's a…crap, what's that word…?" He frowned in concentration and then snapped his fingers when the epiphany hit him. "Strategic!" he announced excitedly. "It's a strategic location. I mean, it's right in reach and if someone tries to steal it, I can karate chop their arm away!"

Rachel stared at him blankly for a moment until a huge smile took over her face. "Finn, who's going to steal your remote from you in your bedroom?"

His brow furrowed. "Well, just in case," he added quickly, feeling left-over mortification at this whole ordeal. And it didn't help that he just made himself look like a damn moron. He would probably never live this down. God, she thought he was jerking off! He pulled a face.

Finn scrubbed a hand through his hair. He wasn't even doing anything and he still felt mega embarrassed. (He silently thanked any God or gods that she hadn't decided to come over after he'd eaten dinner). "Um, what are you doing here? No offense and I'm totally glad to see you," he added promptly. "But I mean, I wasn't expecting…"

"Oh, well." Rachel planted her hands on her hips and then approached him. She was still laughing a little from his explanation. It was just so…Finn. He was so endearing in his own way. It might actually be the death of most of her rational thoughts. "I came to see if you were feeling all right. You haven't been talking to me much and you seem to be sleeping unusual quantities of time. I was worried."

He grinned a little. "I'm sorry. I have been really tired. But I didn't mean to ignore you or anything. We can do something right now if you want."

She nodded. "But first…" She reached toward the zipper of his jeans, her fingers brushing the material of his boxers. "Let's get this piece of lint out of the way." She gripped the problematic, stringy lint between her thumb and forefinger and pulled. She wasn't conscious, really, of anything else she might have been affecting. Until she heard Finn groan. She immediately removed her hand, misreading his vocalization. "Finn! I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. Are you okay?" She looked at him with concern.

He managed a chuckle. "You didn't hurt me." Rachel got shivers hearing his voice so low. Finally catching on to what he meant, she felt her face flush again.

"Sorry," she murmured.

"Don't be," he said easily. Before she could respond, he pulled her on top of him. Skimming kisses across her neck, he smirked to himself as her hands found their way down his chest. Rachel turned her head and reached down past the waistline of his jeans. And yanked.

"Hah!" she cried triumphantly, startling Finn and causing him to nearly toss her to the floor. She barely seemed to notice. "I got it!" She held up the lint graciously before tossing it down again and resuming her position on top of Finn.

He tried really hard not to laugh, but she was just way too adorable. But then he didn't try to do anything because Rachel was doing this thing with her hands again and it took up all his concentration. He growled and rolled over, so he was on top of her. He refused to give her all the control all the time. She brought her legs up and around his waist and he relinquished the thought of having control almost as soon as it had come. She was going to kill him; he was sure of it.

Rachel ground her hips up and into Finn's and smiled at the noise that erupted from the back of his throat. There were still a lot of things she didn't know about these situations, but she found herself catching on quickly, especially as to what Finn really liked. For example, she'd noticed over the months that they'd dated that he really liked when she swirled her tongue around his earlobe before sucking it lightly into her mouth. And as she did it now, he pressed his fingertips so hard into her sides it actually hurt a little. She shifted in his grip until he got the hint and sighed against his neck, listening to his harsh and shallow breathing.

Damn it. Finn fought to control himself. He'd been doing a lot better, but shit, Rachel was being frickin' intense today. Like, more than usual. Way more than when she would give him those crazy, borderline stalker eyes or made weirdo cat calendars or when she once gave him a timeline of their entire romantic timeline typed in bright pink ink. He didn't know how to not give in. Until he spied…was that…yes! Score!

"Rachel, babe," he ground out. "Wait. Stop." He swallowed hard.

She looked up at him, her cheeks rosy and her lips swollen. God, she was super hot, Finn thought. It sucked that he always had to stop this so he wouldn't blow his load and probably gross her out. "Did I—did I do something wrong?" Rachel asked. She was just trying to move further in their relationship. She hadn't considered that Finn wasn't ready yet. She tried to move underneath him.

Finn shook his head. "What? No! It's just…" These few extra seconds would give him enough time to regain some semblance of self-control, so that they could finish. "I know how OCD you can be about things, so I was just gonna tell you." He ran a fingertip down the side of her skirt. "You got a piece of lint stuck in your zipper."

He couldn't help but laugh at the horrified look on her face.

Yes? No? Eh?
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