The Debrief
Ian had been ranting for twelve minutes and fifty- two seconds by Lip's count and he showed no signs of slowing down. He was pacing around the Gallagher's small kitchen waving his beer around as if to add emphasis to his points. Lip was worried it was going to spill and found himself mesmerised as the amber liquid lapped up the neck of the bottle. Perched on the kitchen counter, Lip fought the urge to lunge for the bottle as Ian made his hundredth trip past him. He twirled his AA chip between his fingers.
"So I said it was all crap and that you can't really be bi and it was really a huge turn off," Ian finished with a sign. "I'm done with him."
"You've never seemed to have a problem with bi men before."
"I have never dated a bi man before," Ian said matter of factly.
"What about the sleazy paedophile Kash?"
Ian glared at Lip's description but didn't comment. "It's a completely different situation. People are not 'sexually fluid'," he said, making air quotes with his fingers, "Kash was totally gay but had a wife and kids, he was just confused."
"What about Ned? Jimmy/Steve said Ned liked a little from column A and a little from column B."
"Well that's what he said yeah," Ian admitted slowly, "but he was always hanging out in gay bars, picking up guys by flashing his credit card…though he did want a threesome a few times I guess. That's not the point, Lip," Ian insisted, scowling at his brother.
"Then what is your point?"
"Caleb sleeping with women is just another way to hide who he is. I mean, he doesn't even really like it. He can't. I know how this goes, he'll marry her to appease his family, have a kid or two and keep me or some other poor sap on the side. Well, it's not going to be me. I'm not going to sit around and wait for him to be ready to be out." Ian finished with a decisive nod of his head.
"Wow," Lip said, nodding slowly. "That took a sharp turn."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing," Lip responded with a shrug. "Drink your beer, it's the only one either of us get."
"No," Ian said, his arms crossed over his chest, "What is that supposed to mean? You think I'm overacting? That I should let him keeping fucking women as long as he doesn't fuck another dude?"
"Not what I said."
"Then what?"
Lip scratched at his chin, knowing that this conversation wasn't going to end well. He took a deep breath.
"Just that you weren't exactly talking about Caleb, were you?"
"Who else would I be talking about?"
"I don't know," Lip said, as if he was talking to someone just a little bit stupid, "Maybe Mickey. You know, your ex who actually was using women to hide his sexuality."
"Bull shit. This has nothing to do with Mick." Ian waved off the suggestion. He stalked past Lip and slumped down onto a chair at the kitchen table. He slammed his beer down onto the table. A half-eaten sandwich sat forgotten in front of him. He wasn't hungry anymore. Lip swivelled on the counter top, bringing his knees around to sit in an awkward crossed-leg position.
"Really?" Lip pressed.
"Yes, really. I'm over Mickey. This is about Caleb hiding who he really is."
Lip raised his eyebrows. Now that he had started he couldn't let it go. "Didn't Caleb introduce you to all his friends as his boyfriend?" Lip asked, inclining his head slightly and pointing at Ian as if seeking clarification.
"Yeah but-"
"And everyone on shift knew that you were dating: boss, co-workers…" He let the sentence hang as Ian reluctantly nodded. "And didn't he take you to that wedding - as his date - where he knew his entire, politely homophobic family was going to be?"
"Are you going to get to a point soon?" Ian asked, becoming increasingly annoyed at Lip's line of questioning.
"I'm just saying that doesn't seem like someone who is hiding or pretending to be something he's not. Sound like someone who is a cheating fucking asshole sure, but not someone who is lying to himself."
"This has nothing to do with Mick."
"If you say so." Lip looked at his watch and pushed himself off the counter top. "I gotta go, apparently Svetlana has some questions about Kev's tax returns."
Ian nodded. "Yeah, I'm over it. Go help Kev."
Lip snorted. "Whatever you say man. Just don't drink too much, ahey."
"Isn't that the pot calling the kettle drunk?"
"Hey I'm a functioning alcoholic, you're medicated. There's a difference. Just be careful."
"Whatever," Ian fobbed him off.
"Call me if you need anything," Lip insisted. He grabbed his bag and made his way to the front door. He turned back around, unable to making just one more parting remark. "Ian, just think about what you're actually mad about, okay?"
Ian rolled his eyes and yelled back at Lip's disappearing figure. "It's not about Mick!"
He twirled the plate before pushing it harshly away. He felt his eyes prickle for the first time since he'd suspected Caleb was a lying sack of cheating shit.
"Mick never would have cheated on me."