Ludwig's POV:
I kneeled there, holding his lifeless body in my hands... How could this happen? This has to be a dream, there is no way it ended like this.
I hand touches my shoulder but I don't pay any mind to it.
"Ludwig, please set him down... Right now we just need to walk away." I hear Rome's voice but I couldn't understand any of the words he spoke. I could feel depression crash down on me like a wave, sweeping me away into an endless sea of darkness.
I get lost in my thoughts but a man throws me away from Feli. The slurred sound of angry yelling fils the entire room and instantly I understand who it is.
"Feliciano, wake up!" While lying on the ground, staring at the ceiling, I can hear a slap noise.
"Wake up god damnit! You can't just be gone, not after all we've been through!" All I can do is just lie there and stare at the ceiling while Rome and Lovino fight about Feliciano. I am still dumbfounded that this had happened. After all we have been through he just snapped and was taken from me so easily, even after I promised I would protect him...
The entire incident replays in my mind, the moment when he was sent to th podium to when he ran out the room to now... When I was holding his body, begging him to stay awake... He said things to me, but... That's strange... They did sound sad or scared, they actually sounded kind of... Happy...
He sounded happy, like he was happy to be dead. Why would anybody be happy to die? Why would he want to if he had me, promising to protect him from his father but I didn't... Technically he was the cause of Feli's death and I wasn't able to help him, I wasn't able to protect him or save him...
Letting out a giant sigh I get up to my feet and start to walk away. I ignore everyone who is talking to me and I go home immedeatly. I do not care if I end up getting in trouble, I had done to much for today and my only wish right now is to get into bed and try to fall asleep into reality and wake up from a horrid nightmare. What I will find out soon is that this is no dream and I can't escape into a fake reality either. I will never slip into a peaceful state and let my worries flow away, never get to the reality where I can be with him again. Never will stop being an insomniac.
A few weeks later they planned Feli's funeral. I've only been able to get very brief naps and every time I did my dream was a nightmare when the scene of Feliciano's death replayed over and over in an endless loop.
I stand there at the podium to say some words about Feliciano, I had no time to prepare for this nor do I want to make this speech.
"Feliciano vas alvays so full of energy. Venever ve vere together he vas alvays able to make me smile somehow... He held a special place deep in my heart but it took me a while to actually realize and accept the fact that I did love him and I can't even say how much I regret not realizing it sooner... Even though I, myself, can't accept it, ve have to accept that Feliciano is happier this vay because he finally is free. I could tell though that he enjoyed our time vith us and... He loved us very much, he loved life very much but ve all have our limits and he had gone vay past his. If he could hear me say vun thing to him I vould say that I am proud that had gone so far past one persons limit, especially such an emotional person like you, and that no one can actually blame you for doing vat you did."
My hand reaches up my face to rub my eyes but I feel something on my cheeks. Pulling my hand away to look at it I notice some moisture on my fingers, something, as a man like me, never expected to see.
It wasn't to long till everyone left, Lovino left as an emotional wreck. When you look at him trying to hide his tears you can't help but feel a sharp pain in your heart because out of all the people who knew and loved Feliciano, Lovino was having the worst time of them all. He had just lost his brother, his twin. Those two had a special connection and I can tell that there is an emptiness inside Lovi's heart that is ten times bigger than my and hurts one hundred times worse.
Once everyone is gone I walk over to the coffin, they hadn't taken him away yet but they were going to soon. I look down at his lifeless body, seeing those closed eyes almost put me to tears yet again.
I study his face, every little detail. He looks so relaxed and he's smiling. Maybe all this was for the better, now he doesn't have that constant fear of being the trapped bird but he's free. He's free but not with me. I thought he tried to do everything he could to be with me, he lied to me, snuck out of his home, he done everything to be with me and yet he just goes off and dies! I stayed alive for him when his father shot me! Why could he do the same god damnit!?
The images of me holding him in my arms flash by once again, every word I remember is yet another dagger in my heart. I love you, I'm sorry, I'm happy, how can you be happy without me? Huh? I thought you loved me. Shows how much you love me when you just let yourself go! The judge still ruled that the man be sent to jail! You died for nothing Feliciano! You died for nothing, and you left me here alone to wallow in sadness! You put me through so much pain then when I finally accept and realize how much I love you you just leave me here alone!
My face burries under my arms that are resting on the coffin, slowly I raise my head and once again force myself to look at his face. The thing about his body is that, it doesn't look faked. It looks like he really is at peace.
Guilt replaces the anger that once controlled my thoughts. I can't believe I am selfish enough to blame him for dying. He really was suffering, I didn't realize how badly it was though. This, this truly is for the better.
He looked up at me with those beautiful, big brown eyes of his.
"Luddy... You were my dream, what I had always longed for... I'll be waiting for you~"
Those beautiful, big brown eyes start to close and little did I know that I wouldn't see them again in a long time.
I'll be waiting for you.
I lean down and gently, every so gentle, kiss Feli's forehead with a smile.
"I'll see you again, someday... I love you." I walked away.
I'm lying there in my bed, I see my sister come in.
"How are you feeling? Can I get you anything?" Giving her a smile I gently shake my head.
"I'm fine, thanks."
"Alright, if you need anything you call. Alright?" Again I smile at her.
"Of course." She exits the room and once again I am left alone with nothing to do.
Slowly, a drowsiness starts to overcome my body and my eyes feel heavy. I guess the older you get the more tired you are.
I slowly start to close my eyes, I have time for a quick nap.
Darkness fill my vision to where I can't see anything anymore. Nothing but darkness. Where am I? Am I dreaming?
A light breaks through the darkness, soon more light and more after that. What seems to be a road appears before my feet, this must be one crazy dream. Having no other choice I decide to follow it. The road seems like it is never ending but the more I walk I start to see something in the distance. It is to hard to make out what it is at first but after so many minutes later it is easy to tell that it is a gate.
I approach the gate, it looks like it is golden. Looking down both ways it seems to be endless as well. I pick up my hand and gentle touch it. The door opens widely for me.
I look down at my hand and see not a single freckle or wrinkle on it, touching my face I discover it to be smooth and my body has completely changed. It looks much more fit and healthy than it realy does. What on Earth am I dreaming of? It's almost like I'm back in my 20's or something.
Still shocked and now completely curious I walk through the gate, the ground is all white and it kind of looks like marshmallows ... Did I dream myself in Candy Land or some shit!?
I wander around, so far I've seen nothing at all. Nothing but white stuff and light. I keep walking and soon I start to see something in the distance. With all my speed I start to run towards it, running faster than I should be at my age right now but I ignore that at the fact that I've found something!
The closer I get the more I make out, it starts to look like a person and some sort of bird, all I can really see is giant white wings. I see red hair and a rather thin body. Around him I see canvases, paints, papers everywhere and I think I even hear singing and a guitar. I see what looks like a kitchen as well, a full set kitchen with everything you could think of!
I am not to far away from him, the man is still singing. When I'm only a few feet away from him I suddenly stop and listen to the music, the voice of an angel that seems so familiar but I can't place were... But what a heavinly voice that person has, he is really talented... Holy shit he has wings!
I stand there, my face producing complete shock at what I am seeing. The man finally finishes his song and turns to me.
"Do you like it~? I use to be really good at making up songs, I use to be good at a lot of things~!" My jaw is dropped from seeing the wings, now I freeze and tense up at what other things I'm seeing.
Red hair, a friendly smile, brown eyes, a curl on his left side, a nice thin body, the voice of an angel...
A random bell rings. "Oh, you're just in time to taste my new recipe !" He sets down the guitar and runs to the oven in the kitchen. Slowly he opens the oven and pulls something out, setting them on the counter to cool. "I made brownies~! I made them from scratch too and they should be really good!" The man starts to cut them into perfect rectangles. He takes a piece out, sets it on a plate and hands it to me.
"I made sure that the bottom had flour on it so you get a real nice fudgy bottom, I always love those~" I can't even lift my arms to take it, this is not happening. I hadn't dreamed of him, I can't dream. I either don't remember or its that same thing over and over again... I didn't let go.
"This is all a dream..." He gives me a curious look than starts laughing.
"I knew you'd say that! I told you we'd see each other again! Oh, and by the way, that was a really nice speech you gave me. I started crying to and I felt really bad that I left you but I knew one day we could be together again, and here we are!" He sets the plate down and grabs a nearby mirror, holding it up to my face I can see that I am young again and I too have wings of my own.
"I'm sorry Ludwig but... You died, but your here with me now! And we can live any way you want! We can even pretend that this is the real life and have people be with us and live like a normal life! I can tell Lovi's going soon and I've been spending so much time with Grandpa Rome so we all can have so much fun and be a family together~! Isn't that great?" Thought race in my head, this can't be real. It can't be but, the glory is that it is real! This is real and I am with Feli again.
"Oh Feli... You don't know how happy I am to see you again" We hug each other tightly, letting us remember the feeling of love that had once faded away but now burns brighter than ever.
"I love you Luddy... So, can we count this as a happy ending?" I smile down at him.
"Of course, it's what I always longed for." He smiles back up at me.
"Me too~!"