Hey. Roxy Goth here. This is my first time writing Les Misérables fanfiction. I wrote this about two days after seeing Les Misérables in the theatre for the first time.
It's basically, what were Javert's thoughts as he was standing on that bridge?
I do not own Les Misérables
I do not deserve to be on this planet anymore.
That is my single thought as I look down into the swirling pool of water. All my life I have dedicated myself to good and Justice and now what do I find?
They have deserted me. Sniggered behind my back as I brashly went in arresting people without even a blink. With not even a small moment of compassion for the life I was damning. In my naïve eyes any law broken is bad. It didn't matter what the law in question was; be it stealing a loaf of bread, punching a politician [in the eye may I add], or joining a supposedly peaceful march that quickly descended into chaos with lives tragically lost.
All of it was at least equal to manslaughter, if not murder.
I have learned, much too late of course, that the world is not black and white. People are forced to do desperate things to stay alive and there are certain actions I should have perhaps turned a blind eyes to over the years. [The aforementioned bread definitely being one; that's the whole reason I'm here in the first place]
However, as intense as my guilt is now it is, as the people say, 'too little too late'. God has forsaken me. God had abandoned me. Good and Justice have swirled into an incomprehensible mess, as deep, dark and murky as the water below me.
I stand, shaking slightly, on the bridge. Here we go. This is it. Pull yourself together, man , I told myself sternly. You're a superintendent for crying out loud. You've faced much worse than this.
God knows the people you've condemned have.
With that final though I leap.