Shingeki no Sensei
"Alright, with all due respect, you can shove your opinion up your ass!" Kris yelled at the old withering corpse who had just told him he swore too much and was too offensive. The third Hokage wasn't surprised with his hostility, but this guy was a real a-hole. "Kris Yoshiaki of the Hidden Cloud, you will refrain from using that sort of language! For God's sake, there are kids at the academy!" Kris didn't give a damn about that, he could swear wherever he wanted. Rules were made to be broken, right? "Now, now, Hiruzen, never use the Lord's name in vain. Too many slip-ups like that and you're goin' straight to Hell, buddy. Won't be long, either. When you eventually croak, I hope we'll have a Hokage who isn't such a total prick."
"Hurling insults at the Hokage won't get you anywhere, kid." Anko sat in the corner of the room, watching the conversation. Kris turned towards her. "What's with the trenchcoat? You some kinda drug dealer?" Anko shook her head. "Then you're some kinda flasher, right? No normal ninja wears a trenchcoat like that without being into something shady or publicly frowned upon." At this rate, Kris would just upset everyone. Hurling harsh remarks to everyone he could see, he moved on to Danzo, who was standing next to the Hokage at the time. "And you, you scruffy bastard, sort your hair out! I don't care how ugly you are under those bandages, that's no excuse for not combing your hair at all!" Danzo was quick to respond. "Why, you..! If I were allowed, I'd have already killed you..." Kris wasn't intimidated at all. "Well bring it on, you grumpy fuck! I'll make you wish you were dead!"
Kakashi entered the room, and noticed everyone looking terribly offended, with one dark-gray-haired ninja who seemed to be the reason everyone was upset. "Hey... uh, who's this?" He asked, as everyone braced themselves for a tidal wave of insults to gush out towards him. But they didn't quite get what they expected. "Holy shit... It's you...!" It seemed his reputation as the Copy Ninja of Konoha earned him a little mercy. "You're the guy from that game, Metal Gear Rising, aren't you!?" or maybe his reputation went unnoticed. "Oh my crap, it IS you! The gray hair, the one eye covered up, the metal jaw you're hiding under your mask...! Sign my shirt! Sign my chest! Sign my-" Kakashi had to cut him off there. "I'm afraid you've got the wrong person, eheh... I'm Kakashi Hatake." Kris stopped for a second, and then smiled. "Ohh... you're undercover, right...? Ok, i'll keep it a secret, Jack-sama." Kakashi had no idea what he was on about, but at least he didn't get burned like the other Leaf higher-ups.
"Regardless, Kris Yoshiaki..." Lord Third began his sentence and informed Kakashi of the newbie's name simultaneously. "...the reason I brought you here was to discuss your status as a respectable ninja." Kris was confused "What do you mean, old guy who can't talk without his dentures?" The insults were really starting to get to Hiruzen. "What I mean is that you are too irresponsible and far too rude to be allowed out on missions on your own anymore. As such, we have prepared a particular ninja to be your mission partner, and to keep you in check when visiting other villages. That ninja is Tsukiko Pamera. Also originally of the Hidden Cloud. You'll meet her tomorrow." Kris couldn't bear the thought of having to be looked after whilst out on missions... to a 16 year old, this was just embarrassing... but with Danzo and Anko both looking like they were ready to murder him next time he said something insulting, he had no choice but to cut his losses and leave. He mumbled to himself as he left the room, hating the guts of everyone in that room. Except Kakashi. He was a total boss in that game. Kris went back home and launched himself onto his bed, giving not one single shit towards anything he had been told that day.
Thanks for reading! Chapter 2 will be out tomorrow, hopefully, so keep track of this fic if you like it!