Skimbleshanks paused at the doorway into the almost-empty stationmaster's office.
The white queen, swollen with pregnancy, underneath the stationmaster's desk began to purr at the sight of him. He felt his own purr building, and he walked eagerly over to her, butting against her head in affectionate greeting.
"How are you?"
Elizabeth had denied going back to the Junkyard with him; she wanted their kits to be born here, where she was comfortable, and where she knew his heart would always lie. The situation as it was, Skimbleshanks was always loathe to leave her, though he knew he must. His mum would worry, as would Rumpleteazer. The she-cat no longer thought of him as a father, knowing now that he wasn't her actual father, but rather as an older brother. She also fussed over him as much as he fussed over her once... He smiled thinking about her, and once again felt the desire to bring Elizabeth back with him.
Elizabeth mustered a small, tired smile.
"I'm doing okay. It will be soon now, Skimble."
"Come back with me?" he almost begged, knowing what her answer would be.
"No, Skimble. I can't." she shook her head, white fur glimmering in the dim yellow light of the office.
"You can, Elizabeth! The twins - Coricopat and Tantomile - they make the birth so much easier! I've seen it!"
"Yes," she replied softly "You've told me about their abilities. But it's too late. If we leave now, I'll be kitting on the train." She gave a rumbling chuckle that turned into a groan "Everlasting cat, these kittens are eager to be out!" she gasped.
Skimbleshanks licked the fur on her head, trying to calm her down. She laughed again.
"You're like a nervous old queen, Skimbleshanks, I'll be fine!" She gave him a regal stare, and he took a step or two back.
"Further. I can handle giving birth myself. You'll just make me nervous. No, on second thought, get out of the office."
"But -"
"No, get out. I'll tell you when it's over. Go watch the trains."
She smiled fondly to herself as he slunk out of the room and into the night.
Skimbleshanks sat, tail curled round his paws and looked up at the sky, praying to – something, that everything would be as planned. Please. Please let it go okay. Please let the kittens be healthy. Please let her heal quickly so that we can go back to the Junkyard. Please.
He closed his eyes as he heard Elizabeth's gasps and moans. It was all he could do not to join her, to try and comfort her. Even if he didn't know what to do.
He tried to block the noises with happier memories, and his mind flew back to when they met.
Of course he knew there were other cats around, even other Jellicles. There was too much proof of orphaned Jellicle kittens to deny that.
But he hadn't expected to meet one on his journeys by train, at least, not a queen. Not one that looked as dainty and sophisticated as Elizabeth. But she had a will of iron, easily twining the stationmaster, all the guards and porters and every passenger that passed around her tail.
Skimble sighed with pleasure, remembering their conversations.
They fell in love quickly, and it was only a matter of time before she was pregnant.
But she still refused to go back to the Junkyard.
"No, Skimble," she'd said "I belong here. You may have a paw in both worlds, but I can't. I belong here."
"But you never have a chance to live the nights as a Jellicle, you're always a normal cat!"
She'd looked at him, a small smile on her features.
"Oh Skimbleshanks, do you really think of me as normal?" She teased in reply.
"No," He'd replied, entranced by the beautiful queen "Never."
Not even when he'd explained the psychic calming abilities of the mysterious twin cats, Coricopat and Tantomile, had she wanted to go with him.
"I can do it," She'd insisted "I've always done everything myself, I'll do this, too."
The shrieks and gasps cut off suddenly, and Skimbleshanks could not help himself from bolting into the office, paws skidding on the slick wood.
"I was just about to call you," Elizabeth said in a weary voice. She nudged the two kittens – both as white as herself – towards her belly, towards their first meal.
"How did it go?"
"I doubt a tom could understand the complexities of birth." She purred, her teasing smile curling up one side of her mouth.
He denied her the pleasure of his trying to tell her could, and instead nosed their kittens.
"They're beautiful," He murmured.
"I'm a little sad neither of them look like their father," his mate replied, licking his cheek.
He licked her in return.
"They're perfect."
When they awoke the next morning, one of the kits had died. At some point in the night, it had scrabbled away from the combined warmth of their bodies and frozen in the chilly air.
Elizabeth was inconsolable.
She would not eat, nor would she speak to her mate.
The day passed in a mournful silence.
"My kit!"
Skimbleshanks awoke with a start to a wild-eyed Elizabeth.
"What? What's wrong?"
Her head snapped in his direction, but her eyes did not seem to focus on his face.
"Where is my kit?" She screeched.
"Here! She's right here, Elizabeth!" Skimbleshanks nudged the small scrap of white fur towards the queen.
Elizabeth did not even look.
"My kitten is lost!"
With a start, Skimble realized she was delirious.
"Elizabeth, calm down! We still have the one! It's okay! She's here, she isn't lost." he said in a rush.
"My kitten is gone!" Elizabeth yowled straight in his face, her words punctuated by the whistle of an incoming train.
He could get her onto the train, and back to the Junkyard... Perhaps his mother knew what this was, they could get her help.
No. The train did not stop here; he needed to help her by himself.
He did not know how.
"Elizabeth!" He tried to push her back into a sitting position, as she had jumped to her feet. Her body was tense, shaking. All her beautiful white fur was on end. She struggled against him, growling low in her throat.
"Elizabeth," He said calmly "It's me. Skimbleshanks, your mate."
Her eyes were still blank.
"Don't you know me?"
She hissed at him, and when he didn't stop holding onto her, scratched him across the face. Stunned, Skimbleshanks' grip loosened, his muscles went limp. She did not know him.
"I need to find my kit!"
Her words were almost drowned out by the rattling of the incoming train.
The one that would not take them to safety.
Alone, he was alone and useless...
"Where is she?" Elizabeth yelled and bolted out the door.
Skimbleshanks hastened to follow her, once again struggling for purchase on the smooth floor.
She was running straight towards the tracks.
"Elizabeth, stop!" He ran after her, but knew she was already too far ahead for him to physically stop her. He only hoped she would listen.
"Elizabeth you're going to fall onto the tracks!"
The whistle sounded again.
Not only would she fall onto the tracks...
He couldn't speak.
Her lithe white body disappeared.
"ELIZABETH!" He screamed, his voice swept away by the train as it clattered past him, blowing his fur against his body.
"ELIZABETH!"
But it was too late.
The train had passed.
And she was gone.
Skimbleshanks had been away from the Junkyard for far too long, he knew, as he walked into the entrance, his daughter clutched by the scruff in his teeth.
"Skimbleshanks!"
His mother's arms were suddenly around his neck, and then she jumped back, feeling the kitten.
"Another one? Are you starting a collection?" His mother tried to make a joke, but he just shook his head.
He carefully took the kitten from his mouth, and passed it to his mother.
"She's my daughter. Look out for her, mum. I- I can't." Tail drooping, he walked towards his den, ignoring the hails of the other Jellicles.
"Skimbleshanks, where is her mother?" His mother's voice drifted towards him. He shook his head once more.
"What is her name?"
He thought about Elizabeth. About her name, that so accurately mirrored her queenly nature.
"Victoria."
He left his mother holding the kitten that was his daughter, and curled up to grieve for his lost mate.
I don't know why I'm writing so many stories about Skimbleshanks...
I hope you enjoyed it (sad as it was), and thanks for reading!