A/N: Okay! Hey people! This is the prequel for my first fanfiction 'Where's My Happy Ending?' Since it's the prequel you don't have to read WMHE? to understand it (but you'll need to after this to get the ending :D) Anyway...ENJOY!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything Twilight related!

BPOV

When you have everything you've ever dreamed of, can you even contemplate of another route? When you're so set of the path before you, on the future you've planned, can you doubt yourself when you reach the fork in the road?

I bit my lip, absentmindedly fidgeting with the heavy weight that rested on my ring finger. Edward was gone, hunting with the rest of the family. They've already been gone for two out of three days of their trip, leaving me alone-alone in this dark solitude of my room, alone to my thoughts. I took a ragged breath, pulling my knees to my chest as I leaned my head against the wall.

Why did Charlie have to bring it up? Why did he have to muddle in my business? Why did he have to shatter the perfection I was living?

Charlie jumped as I set his plate of lasagna in front of him. His brown eyes jumped to me, before he cleared his throat and looked at him food. Why was he so nervous? This hadn't been the first time I noticed him twitching around me. Ever since Edward and I announced our engagement to him, he always looked like he had something he wanted to say, but always thought against it. But…what could he possibly have to say that would make him so nervous?

"Um, looks good Bells." he muttered before taking stabbing the pasta with his fork. I cautiously sat in my seat, watching him. Whatever it was, it was really wearing on his nerves. I thought about letting it go, allowing him to bring whatever it was up on his own time, but when he started taking uncharacteristically small bites, I knew I had to intervene.

"What's wrong?" I asked him. He paused in his movements, thinking about whether or not to avoid the question I'm sure, before he sighed. He set down his fork, running a hand across his face in resignation. When his brown eyes met mine, they held caution. What was he so hesitant about?

"I wanted to talk to you." he started, leaning back away from his food. I mimicked his movement, preparing myself for what he had to say. It can't be that bad, I reminded myself.

"About?" I egged him on as he hesitated again. His eyes flashed nervously before he sighed again.

"Edward." he said. I immediately stiffened and opened my mouth to reprimand him on his prejudice toward my fiancé, when he continued. "More of…I wanted to talk about your…engagement." he seemed to almost choke on the word. I did not relax my posture as my eyes narrowed into a glare.

"Dad, I know you're not particularly partial to Edward or our engagement, but I would think that-" he raised his hand to silence me before I could continue about him supporting my decisions.

"Are you sure?" he asked me. I scoffed and almost rolled my eyes at the question.

"Of course I'm sure! What kind of question is that? Why wouldn't I be?" Wrong question to ask, I realized almost immediately. Charlie's eyes suddenly became determined.

"Because of how things ended with Jacob." he answered me, looking straight into my eyes, watching for some hidden reaction to his words. I felt my heart tug slightly at the mention.

Jacob, my best friend, was still trapped in La Push-his props of a cast and crutch restricting him from doing anything suspicious-without having called me at all. I had asked him to call me whenever he wanted me to come down, and, even though I knew that he most likely wouldn't call after I've hurt him too many times, the sheer fact that he hadn't called hurt beyond words.

Charlie continued when I didn't answer. " I know how much he means to you, Bells. I see you jump up whenever the phone rings. I notice you checking all of the messages religiously, waiting for him to make contact. And, I can't help but feel like your engagement is the reason he's not calling." He had no idea. "And seeing how much this hurts you…I know you love him more than you've ever let on." Sadly, that was a fact I only recently discovered myself.

My mind drifted to that snowy day.

The threat of battle looming over our heads…fear that he would do something stupid…his warm lips against mine…his arm wrapped tightly around me…the shock when I began kissing him back…the vision of two children running happily into the forest…

"Have you ever even considered that Jacob may be…better for you?" Charlie asked me quietly. I shook my head, dispelling the past and glaring at the present. I stood from my seat.

"I'm engaged to Edward, Charlie. You don't have to like, but it's the truth." I declared before storming out of the kitchen, leaving a stunned Charlie in my wake.

Charlie truly had impeccable timing. Edward had been gone for a few hours when Charlie voiced his thoughts, and I've been lost in my own thoughts ever since. Normally I would just brush off Charlie's preference for Jacob, but…ever since that kiss, that revelation, that…vision…I couldn't. Everything had changed. My feelings had changed, and view of everything had changed.

Before that kiss, all I had know were cool lips that spread an icy inferno throughout my veins. Now I knew that it was possible to have a passionately out-of-control wild fire course through me and I would still want more!

Before I realized that I loved Jacob, I was so certain that there was only room for one true never-ending love in my life. Now, I knew that there were two, and that I was filled with such love for them both that my heart felt like it was going to burst!

Before that small vision, I was fine with not having kids. I had never planned on it in the first place, so it wasn't something I would particularly miss, not like Rosalie or Esme. But…seeing those two black-haired children running happily into the forest…made my heart swell with longing.

Yet…it's more than that, that made me rethink the ring on my finger.

Seeing Charlie's concern for me, no matter how biased and prejudice he may be, made me think of how concerned he would become when I couldn't come home. In his eyes, all he would see was his barely adult daughter getting married to a man who broke her heart many times and then never coming to visit. After everything I've already put him through, could I suddenly just drop out of his life forever? After he had been there for me when everyone else turned me away, when I was at my worst, could I just leave him? And, Renee and Phil, I barely see them anymore, always afraid of bring my nightmares to them! Could I survive forever without seeing them?

Then there was Edward's extreme protectiveness. Unnecessary and overbearing most of the time, while Jake would allow me to do what I wanted within reason. If I wanted to ride on a motorcycle, he would just stand back with a first-aid kit just in case. Edward would destroy the bike the second I voiced my want, lecturing me about how incredibly dangerous and reckless it would be. Yes, I realized that Edward's protectiveness saved my life on many an occasion, but…sometimes, ever since I had experienced that free reign, it became difficult to breathe when he was like that.

And, all the things he kept from me, such as Victoria returning. Jacob would never do that, he would realize that I was strong enough to hear it, and that I needed to hear it. With Edward…I'm always this weak and pathetically clumsy human who is always in a desperate need for a hero. To him, even news such as that would break me. With Jacob…we're equals. He may be stronger than me, but he still knows and takes into account the fact that I can take things normal humans can't. He doesn't shelter me because he feels me inferior.

I closed my eyes, leaning my forehead against my knees, and took a deep breath. Edward or Jacob: The question that had been haunting my mind for not only two days, I've come to acknowledge. That solid question has been torturing me for months, ever since that day in the movie theater, when Jake made it known that he had feelings for me. I was just too naïve and selfish and…ultimately blind to notice it. They saw it, Charlie saw it, hell even Angela saw it…why did it take two days alone for me to see?

So which was it?

Edward, the one who I've wholly committed myself to time and time again? The one who I felt I was die without? The one I risked my life for? The one who taught me how it felt to love and be loved in return? My Romeo who vowed to do anything to keep me happy, safe, and healthy?

Or Jacob, my eternal sun who helped put me back together when I was broken? The one who taught me that life goes on and that's it's okay to move with it? The one who showed me how to be free? My best friend who turned to my second love? The one who just wanted what was best for me?

I squeezed my eyes shut, pushing a few warm tears out from under my lids, and lifted my head. It was somewhat serendipitous, the warm tears now cascading down my face as the ring on my finger glittered in the new morning light. The warmth against the sparkles…was it a fair enough trade. Could I choose one over the other?

A small sob wracked through my chest as the truth rang through my thoughts. The choice was obvious now…because I had already made it. Sitting in front of a plate of lasagna, I had made my choice. I had just been sitting here, trying to find a way out of it.

I wrapped my arms tight around myself as the sobs grew.

A/N: So, there's the first chapter! Reviews are loved, both good and bad! :D :D