It was late afternoon as Phil cleaned and tidied the whole flat that he shared with his best friend Dan. The day had been quite boring and they had not even talked to each other like they would usually do, with ongoing conversations about nothing in particular, and as Phil cleaned he could hear the distant curses of his flatmate trying to prepare for a live show.
In the other room, Dan swore under his breath as he tried to sort out his pile of books and miscellaneous objects that made the room quite messy, which was the one thing he couldn't stand. How did he let his bedroom get to this point? He settled in on pushing everything to the side and dropping random things behind pieces of furniture to never see again.
"Phil!" Dan called out. "I'm going to be doing a live show in about fifteen minutes so try not to break anything or burn the house down, you dingus."
"Ah, alright, Dan," Phil called back, wiping a shiny trickle of sweat from his face and fixing his dark fringe.
Dan sighed and finished setting everything up, his hair complete with dry shampoo and his pajama bottoms hanging loose on his waist. Hopefully the live show would make the day more uplifting, as Dan felt he had just been wasting precious hours of his life. He felt especially bad for Phil, who had been cleaning their home all day while Dan did little to nothing. Right now Dan felt frustrated, so he needed a release at that moment.
Beginning the live show, everything went smoothly.
"Hey, guys!" Dan exclaimed, watching the chat increasingly speed up after he sent a tweet. "How are you all doing today? I hope your day's been going well. Mine's been... fine. I'm going to try not to give a long, deep, inspirational speech about life during this liveshow, so let's see how that goes..." He laughed a bit, and as the live show went on, he could feel his frustration slowly dissolve away from his mind.
Thirty minutes into the live show, Dan was fully relaxed and sharing with his audience the exciting moments that had been happening in his life. He had forgotten about Phil and ignored all the viewers asking for Phil to join the live show, as Phil was busy and he didn't want to interrupt.
"So the other day while I was at the bank," Dan began, getting into story mode, "the strangest thing happen-"
Suddenly, Dan flinched at the sound of a loud crash and bang, and what seemed like the clashes of a bowl colliding with the ground. Oh, dear God, Phil did something. The thought in itself was enough for Dan to worry about what happened.
"Phil?" Dan called out, only to hear no response. "Ugh, be right back guys; Phil's probably broke the whole lounge or something." He turned to leave, but then turned back to grab his laptop. "Actually, let's go on a little field trip and see what Phil has done."
Laptop in hand, Dan ventured through the hall and spotted Phil's head near the kitchen. Sighing, he went to that spot, and after seeing the sight before him, he gasped an rolled his eyes. Flour and egg shells were scattered all over the floor, with a bit of milk to spread it. It was an ugly sight, and just like always, Dan didn't like mess. His arms felt physically tired by looking at that mess and in his heart he just felt like he couldn't take part in cleaning it up. The various shards of what he presumed was the bowl made him internally groan.
"What the hell did you do, Phil?" Dan spoke, trying not to raise his voice in front of the viewers. "Why are there baking ingredients everywhere? Why are they on the floor?"
Looking up and wiping his hands on his blue cooking apron, Phil opened his mouth to reply, only to be interrupted.
"Actually," Dan breathed out. "I don't want to hear the context right now. I'll help you out after I end this live show. Hold on."
The chat was exploding with people saying things like, "Oh my God is Phil okay?" and "Dan, you jerk.; help him out" and "Haha, Phil, so funny xD" Dan just glanced at them and just replied with, "Ugh, I don't know guys."
Dan sat down at his desk, setting down his laptop. After all of this, he couldn't help it- he groaned out audibly and rubbed his temples. Frustration in his body was coming back and entering. The viewers popped up questions on whether he was okay or not, but he just shrugged it off, but what did catch his attention in the chat were some rather harsh messages from, what he assumed, 'Dangirls'. Most of these types of messages read, "Wow, Phil is kind of stupid, Dan." and "Why do you live with him. He just causes so much trouble," and "Well, he isn't really that great and I think you should just stay here," and "Ugh, don't help him out. It was his fault, not yours and he doesn't deserve you."
Reading these words, Dan felt a slight pang in his chest. He wanted to call them out and tell them they were wrong, but what came out of his mouth instead shocked him and many of his viewers.
"You know what," Dan started with, "You guys are right. You don't know how much I hate Phil because I've been living with him for so long and I just get fucking tired of it all. Sometimes I think I just need a break. It's always just Phil, Phil, Phil, and I'm sick of it and I just want him to disappear sometimes. Sometimes I think that I really don't need Phil and he's just worthless and even bit troublesome. I think right now I could do fine without him, because I just can't deal with him anymore."
After his rant, his eyes widened and he tried not to noticeably cover his lips in astonishment. That wasn't Dan he just heard. Dan would never say something like that. But he couldn't just apologize so easily after what he just said, so he coughed and muttered, "Um, bye guys. I hope you have a nice 'rest of the week and I'll see you next Tuesday."
The last chat message his eyes skimmed upon read, "You will regret ever saying that about Phil," which made Dan shiver a bit, but it was alright; it was just a random comment. It couldn't have meant anything.
Dan closed his laptop shut and walked through the hallway shouting, "Phil! I'm on my way to the kitchen so watch out!" No response was heard.
Phil was not spotted in the kitchen, and upon walking in, Dan's head shot up in confusion and disbelief. His eyebrows furrowed at the sight. How long had he been gone and saying his goodbyes? It couldn't have been that long after his little episode- just a few minutes. Why did the kitchen look like this? Confusion never settled this heavily through Dan's head.
Just to ensure this was real, Dan blinked a few times and they still opened to the sight of a perfectly clean kitchen with no evidence of the past situation, still a bit in disbelief that a single human- not to mention clumsy dork- could clean this fast and make it look sparkling clear. He nodded his head, impressed at Phil's work, though feeling the sharp guilt of the fact that Phil had cleaned this mess up in the first place. The guilt in his heart was unbearable, so Dan wanted to make it up to Phil.
"Phil!" Dan announced loudly. "Come here for a moment and can I just say that this is amazing?"
Once Dan closed his mouth, a ringing silence passed through the flat, causing him to roll his eyes. Phil probably didn't hear him, he guessed.
Dan walked back through the hall to Phil's bedroom door, which was shut. He put his ear toward it, listening in for crying or something. Really, he didn't know what he expected, but all that was heard was nothing... pure silence.
"Phil, can I come in?" There was that same empty ringing. "Phil, please talk to me."
Worry coursed through Dan at the lack of response, so he opened the door in a rush in a hope to find Phil healthy and okay, but what he saw not only disappointed him; it shocked him to the point he couldn't process anything. It was so peculiar that Dan felt he was in the wrong room, the wrong house. This wasn't Phil's bedroom. It wasn't Phil's bedroom because Phil's bedroom didn't have piles of boxes in the corner, a small sized sofa, a humongous computer monitor on top of a black desk, piles of various video games that should be in the lounge, or even a black and grey beanbag. Phil's bedroom was transformed into a freaking media room of some sort.
Along the walls of this strange room were video game posters and fanart of Dan and only Dan, which was strange in itself because about 80% of their viewers always drew them as a pair, which Dan and Phil always liked pinning to the walls of their home. Dan's breathing increased and he touched the walls and the monitor and even sat on the sofa, scoping everything out and making sure everything was all real. The bedroom didn't even smell like Phil's bonfire candles, it smelled like 'normal,' which was not at all Phil. This wasn't Phil.
"Stay calm, Dan. Stay calm, Dan," Dan repeated to himself. He wanted to take the whole situation under his control. Panic would not win him over this time, so he focused on keeping his breathing together and pacing. Pacing always helped him gather his thoughts and think and try and settle things.
Exiting the strange room, Dan slipped into his own bedroom, grabbing his phone. Everything was okay. He had total control. His plan was to call Phil, clarify exactly where he was, and then explain the strange room- explain everything, in fact. Scrolling through his phone contacts to the P's, he squinted his eyes at his phone to see that Phil's number wasn't saved on there.
"Why? Why?" Dan whispered out. Phil was supposed to be in his phone contacts, as Phil was one of the only people he ever called or texted on the damn thing. He would never erase Phil's number- that was just idiotic. Dan didn't believe he was that stupid.
Taking a deep breath, Dan reminded himself that he still had control of the situation. Everything was fine. He remembered Phil's number by heart anyway, so he just dialed it in and called, a ringing noise filling his ear. This time it wasn't because of silence, it was because he was finally going to hear Phil's voice again and sort this confusing manner out.
"Hello? Who is this?" came a female voice. Dan's heart dropped. This wasn't Phil.
Disappointment washed over Dan, and he didn't think that Phil's phone could've been stolen. This lady sounded too nice to be a phone thief of some sort, but he did know he dialed Phil's number right.
"Oh, u-um," Dan internally cringed at how awkwardly he was taking this. "H-how are you?" Dan face-palmed at the phrase.
"...Good, but who is this? Is this you, Fred? You sound like Fred."
"No, this isn't Fred. I think I have the wrong number. I was trying to call my best friend Phil, but obviously you aren't Phil. I mean, you're a nice young lady- well, you sound like a nice young lady-"
"I am 64 years old, young man. And yes, I do not know a Phil, so goodbye. Have a nice day."
The woman hung up and Dan let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. That was so stressful. Why is talking so stressful? Then Dan just stood there gazing upon his phone with his blood boiling and his head running wild before throwing his phone and speeding around in a circle. That was Phil's number. Phil's number was so easy to remember- he couldn't have forgotten it. If he dialed a different number, he would know it was wrong. That woman had Phil's number.
Dan rubbed his temples while pacing around repeating, "Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God," over and over again before taking his phone off of the floor and bringing it to his chest that held a troubled heart.
Everything was not okay. The scenarios going through Dan's head were all ridiculous, such as Phil quickly cleaning the kitchen, buying all new furniture and electronics, while packing up his room and giving out his phone to some old lady on the street- it just wasn't happening.
His options were being limited here, but he slapped himself and looked through his contacts before selecting 'Louise.' He would call Peej next.
After a moment of ringing, the familiar voice of the woman who knew how to take control of situations called out in a bubbly tone.
"Hello, Dan! How are you doing? We haven't talked in a while!" she chirped.
"Hey, Louise. Um, I'm not doing too good." Dan's leg bounced up and down as he pushed a palm through his brown locks.
"Oh, dear, what's going on?"
"I really don't freaking know! Phil makes a mess while I'm doing one of my live shows and once I end it I come back to the kitchen to find that it's clean and that Phil's room looks really strange- like, it isn't Phil's room at all and then I find out that I can't contact him because for some reason his number isn't his number either and it's like Phil doesn't exist anymore and I was wondering if you knew anything, so please just help me out!" Dan's words came out in scattered jumbles, and his pacing got worse and he breathed heavily into the phone but he didn't care because he couldn't reach his best friend and he was genuinely worried.
An awkward silence was shared between the two and Dan was about to scream out in anger. This wasn't the time for Louise to do this. He needed her advice now. He needed to know if she knew something now.
"Um, Dan, hon," Louise began. "I'm very sorry for ruining this intense moment, but... may I ask who is Phil?"
Dan felt his left eye twitch a bit before he scoffed and spoke out, "Who is Phil? Who is Phil? Louise, this is not the time to be joking around because Phil could actually be missing and if this is a prank that you two have set up then I want you to understand that it is not funny at all and I am actually really worried and if this is a sick joke then let me know because I am very stressed out right now and don't tell me I'm overreacting either!" He never meant to lash out at Louise, he was just on the verge of hyperventilating.
Louise scoffed and replied, "Dan, I'm not joking either! You don't live with someone named Phil or actually have a friend named Phil and I don't know a Phil and I think you need to calm down right now. You don't even live with anyone! Actually, Dan, are you drunk? Are you doing drugs or something? This isn't normal..."
"Louise, I think the question is whether you are drunk or on drugs because Phil is your freaking friend! How could you not know him? I've been with Phil for 6 flipping years and I think I would know whether or not I live with him. Phil is missing."
"Dan," Louise dragged out. "I am not going to lash out at you. I'm going to stay very calm and I think you should too. Please get your bum to bed and sleep all of this off or something. Also, please do me a favour and don't try calling the police saying that this 'Phil' is missing because I don't think they would appreciate trying to find a person that doesn't exist. I'm going to let you go now. Just rest this off and hopefully this is just some weird phase your going through. You're worrying me, Dan."
"You know what, fine. Bye." He tapped END and yelled out at the top of his lungs, hearing his voice echo through the walls.
Just for experimentation, to see if they knew Phil existed, Dan texted Peej saying, "I think Phil has gone missing because I can't find him anywhere and it's worrying me If you know anything on Phil, please let me know because this is serious. I'm not joking. Please respond as soon as possible if you know anything on Phil because this is very stressful and I'm going crazy worried." He made sure to repeat Phil's name to justify that he actually meant to put Phil. After that, he lay on the sofa feeling numb, holding his phone in his hand, waiting for it to signal a new text.
The sofa felt very empty. It was actually pretty unbearable to the point Dan felt like crying. He felt so exposed in such an empty house in a strange way. His arms felt cold and chilled, but in the strangest feeling ever- not like it was those chilly winters. His mind went into nostalgia mode. Usually when he would sit on this sofa he would be cuddling into Phil's chest platonically while they were in their boxers and they would watch a movie or share meaningless conversation, with Dan listening to Phil's heartbeat and running his fingers through Phil's little chest hairs. His body would never feel so cold like this with Phil around, and at that moment he would do anything to just feel Phil's arms around him again.
His home had never felt like this before- so empty and lonely. It had never felt like this even when Phil went on holiday with his parents, because he knew where Phil was and at least everyone knew Phil existed and at least he had something to remind him of Phil such as Phil's freaking bonfire smelling candles and his damn plaid shirts, but this time he was left with nothing. It wasn't home without Phil.
The silence through the flat, in a way, sounded so wrong that when Dan's phone buzzed it even uplifted his mood a bit. He was eager to find out what Peej's response was. If Peej mysteriously didn't know who Phil was either, he would be alone in this.
HIs eyes scanned through the text that read, 'Very sorry friend, but I don't know who Phil is and I'm very sorry that he is missing. Who is he and what is the situation? Again, sorry Dan."
Dan's eyes saddened and he dropped his phone onto his belly as he lay back onto one of the pillows. He just needed a really long nap for about forever. If Phil really didn't exist, then he didn't want to either because Phil was literally his everything. Without Phil he could barely function. He didn't even mean to say those harsh things about Phil during his live show- he would never say that if he was functioning correctly during the moment those terrible words slipped through his lips.
Dan appreciated Phil so much that it had no borders and he loved Phil with all his heart even if he was never sure himself if it was romantic or platonic. All he was sure of was that he just wanted this whole day to be some weird, sick, really well-thought-out prank.
To forget everything and let his stress ease away, Dan closed his eyes and wrapped his arms increasingly around his body, imagining it was Phil's gentle embrace. Eventually his mind slowly drifted off and he fell into a slumber, the silence of the house surrounding him in the most uncomfortable way.
Unfortunately, Dan did not have a dreamless sleep, or a sweet dream. It was one of the first nightmares he'd had in a long period of time, as he was not one to experience nightmares often. It killed him in one of the worst ways.
Phil was there on the kitchen floor, which was a mess- scattered with glass shards and clay shards and egg shells and flour-, with boiling anger in his eyes as he gaze pierced up at Dan. Shaky breathing caused Phil's body to tremble and his breathing to hitch. Phil was never one to be angry, and just seeing him like this was a nightmare in itself.
"So... I'm worthless, Daniel?" Just the use of his full name made Dan feel terrible. This was the worst type of way to use 'Daniel.' " I'm troublesome? I'm not needed? I don't mean anything? Our friendship didn't mean anything?" Phil spoke out, yet it hardly sounded like Phil. This voice was piercing, strict and deep. It wasn't Phil- calm, cheerful, happy, smooth, bubbly.
"No," Dan choked out. "You're not worthless, Phil. You've never been worthless. You're perfect. You're perfect... and you're not troublesome. And I do need you. No one knows you exist and I don't know where you are and I-"
Dan stopped his rant when Phil dissolved and a faceless girl came up to him, her heels clicking against the dark abyss of his mind. For some reason when he saw her, the first thing that came to his mind was, 'Witch,' but witches weren't real- at least he thought they weren't. However, he would rather believe in witches any day than the fact that his best friend had just disappeared out of existence.
The faceless girl paralyzed Dan. Even without a face he could feel her breath against his neck as she whispered a familiar phrase to him.
"You're going to regret ever saying that about Phil."
Then Dan's nightmare transferred into an uncomfortable and uneasy dreamless slumber.
_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
When Dan's brown eyes shot open he found himself on the sofa with a few dry tears forming a trail on his cheeks, which his fingers ran through. He wondered if Phil was back yet.
"Phil!" he shouted. There was no response, and after searching through the house one more time it was clarified that he was still living a nightmare. It was weird, having a nightmare and waking up to a nightmare; he didn't have a choice.
Checking his phone, Dan had 3 messages from Peej asking if everything was okay and for him to respond, and 1 message from Louise asking how he was and if he was sober. He didn't want to deal with it. He didn't want this. They were supposed to know who Phil was and help him out on this, but they didn't.
"It's too early for this..." Dan groaned. He was emotionally exhausted.
After eating some quick breakfast, Dan had given up hope and went into his bedroom, opening up his laptop. He wanted to try doing one more experiment in case this really was a dragged out and harsh prank, which seemed unlikely as his friends would never let it go this far, but he just felt the need to check.
Going to the oh-so familiar site, YouTube, Dan entered in AmazingPhil. His eyes had no absolutely no colour as he scanned through the page. He was desperate. He just wanted to hear Phil's voice, and he felt his heart physically break when Phil's YouTube channel didn't come up in the search- it was just all nonsense and none of the thumbnails were his best friend's perfect face. It was at that exact time that he found out what people meant at their heart sinking and their mind shutting down and their world going grey, because that was what was occurring with him.
There was absolutely nothing in the AmazingPhil Tumblr tag, and there was always something in there. He even checked the famous 'phan' tag, which was only filled with posts of a beauty guru, a cartoon, and Phantom of the Opera. For once in his life he was devastated to find this tag to be lacking of him and Phil. Phil's Twitter didn't exist either, and the photos that Dan took with Phil were transformed, only showing Dan. The reality set on him, and he knew right then that this wasn't a prank. Something supernatural of some sort occurred and took Phil away.
Dan cursed under his breath and whispered, "That witch..." but he himself wasn't sure why. That faceless girl left him uneasy, but she was a figment of his imagination, just a nightmare walking on heels. What she whispered to him did ring a bell though. He had heard it somewhere.
Jumping up, Dan snapped. "The live show- That's how I know that phrase... and... I do regret saying that to Phil..." Dan sat up and brought his knees up to his chest in thought, the faceless girl leaving an imprint in his mind. She was right.
Out of no where, Dan felt like a genius. If there was anyone else that was close to Phil, it would be Phil's mum. She would know that her own son existed, she birthed him. A spark of hope lifted Dan's spirits, and he dialed in the number of Mrs. Lester, or Kathryn, which he remembered by heart. He never got the chance save her number into his phone as he never had a reason to, but Phil always wanted Dan to know it.
"Ah, hello," came the sweet voice of Mrs. Lester.
"Hi, Kathryn," Dan said. It wasn't unusual to call her Kathryn, as she didn't mind and they have a close enough bond together, but he only called her this at random times.
"Why, how do you know my name, dear?"
"What? Oh, Mrs. Lester, it's me Dan. You know, Phil's flatmate and best friend? You know, Phil, your son?" Dan tried as hard as he could to push Phil's name out there, and for once his eyes were coated with a bit of hope, because this was the Phil's mum.
"Oh! And you know my last name too? And... I am very sorry young man, but you are very sweet and all, but I don't have a son named Phil and I don't know a Dan either. I only have one son and his name isn't Phil."
Dan sighed. She was referencing Phil's older brother, but that wasn't who he wanted. He thought that at least she would be aware that Phil existed, but she really believed that she had one son. Everything was a complete failure and a waste of time.
"Um, yes, you're right. Um, I won't bother you anymore then. Please just forget this ever happened. This was all just a mistake... But I just want to say one more thing."
"And what is that, young man?"
"I'm very sorry for saying those rude words about Phil. Phil is perfect. I love your son so much, and he didn't deserve those harsh insults."
"What are you-" Dan immediately hung up and he sniffled at the thought of the conversation he just had.
Phil's own mother didn't even know him. That was an insane thought. Dan even felt like he was going insane, and it was all overwhelming.
The rest of the day just felt numb. Dan's mind was clouded with Phil... AmazingPhil... Phil Lester... The AmazingPhil in which he was blessed to have the chance of meeting. However, in the middle of that day something clicked in him and he realized that the one place he hadn't checked was his YouNow. His excitement proved pointless as his broadcasts box was empty- not one single broadcast. He felt sick to his stomach; it was like a bug, but it wasn't a new feeling. He was done with feeling disappointment.
Dan spent the next hour in bed under the covers with an imaginary dark cloud surrounding him-suffocating him. He felt like he was actually suffocating. It was worse than any existential crisis he had ever dealt with. He gasped as he realized all the things that he would never be able to do without Phil in his life, and that brought his whole world down a ton more.
Without Phil, Dan wouldn't have someone to cook stupid Delia Smith recipes with, or watch crappy horror movies with, or play computer games with. Without Phil, he wouldn't have someone to comfort him when he was having an existential crisis, or someone to sleep with when he was feeling down, or someone to help him with his videos, or someone in general to bring him pure happiness. There is no one in the world that would be Phil. No one could replace Phil. And it was at this moment that Dan saw how much Phil did for him and how much he needed Phil in his life, because without Phil he would just be suffocating and living lifeless.
Before he knew it, Dan was slipping into a deep slumber once again, and just like before, he was unfortunate. He experienced another nightmare.
In the nightmare, Phil was sat in his bedroom, which looked, in fact, normal- like it always did. However, it wasn't as pleasant with Phil crying. Dan tried to walk over to him, but his feet wouldn't have that. Instead, he had to stand by and watch Phil sob and sniffle and make a mess out of his beautiful face.
"Dan," Phil choked out. "Those words you've said... they've kept me bound here. I'm stuck here, Dan. I can't escape. That hate you had for me... it was like you've been bottling it up for a long time,"
This wasn't Phil. It wasn't real. This whole scenario wasn't real, but it didn't keep Dan from screaming out. His voice wouldn't even work. He couldn't tell Phil how much he really meant, so Dan stood there suffocating just like he had in real life.
A sense of déjà vu hit Dan as he watched Phil dissolve into the dark abyss of his mind, never to be seen again. After that followed the clicks of familiar sounding heels, before the same faceless girl appeared, laughing quietly to herself in bitterness.
"Are you sad? Do you miss Phil?" she cackled. Just like a witch. "Well let me just tell you something. I don't care how frustrated you are. You don't ever say something like that about someone else. What if Phil heard you say that? You'd probably be in a worse situation. But let me just put it out there that I did you a favour. I gave you what you wanted. You wanted Phil to 'just disappear' and you even said yourself that you would be fine without him. It's been only two days and you're looking so pathetic. I told you that you'd regret ever saying that about Phil. I think you should go apologize for saying that to those thousands of people that were there at that moment, too."
She then dissolved, letting out a shrilling laugh, before Dan went into a dreamless slumber once again.
Dan woke up sweating and with muffled breathing before realizing that he was horribly tangled up in his black covers. He took a moment to collect and piece together the fragments of his nightmare. The faceless girl was there again, but he remembered reading that dreams were just the thoughts of the mind, so that meant that he created the faceless girl- and that he was telling himself about the situation of his harsh words.
"Oh, God, words are powerful," Dan spoke out.
Broadcasting a live show crept into Dan's mind over and over throughout the next two hours that he spent wasting on emotional thoughts. He needed to get his feelings out there. He just wanted to tell someone about how he felt and how much he wanted Phil and just about this horrible ordeal in general, and what better than thousands of people? He didn't even care what people would think of him, he just wanted to get everything out there; he needed release... bad.
Dan tweeted about a 'SURPRISE LIVE SHOW IN 30 MINUTES,' to everyone's delight. In that time, he fixed himself up, showered, flat ironed his hair, looked nice, and he set everything up before he started broadcasting live, sorting out his thoughts.
"Hey, guys! How are you all doing today?" he started. He wanted to make sure everyone was doing okay before he would start his emotional speech. Everyone in the chat was either excited or confused, and Dan wasn't going to back down. He even planned for this to be his last viewer interaction as he wouldn't feel like making YouTube videos without Phil around.
"So, this live show is going to be very different. It's just... I just can't take it anymore," Dan looked up and took a deep breath as he started to get a bit nervous. Don't back down. Don't back down. "I know you guys don't know he exists, but I do. I really have no fucking idea on what's going on, but I just wish it never happened. It just started out on this really depressing day and I just had to open my mouth and spout some really harsh words about Phil. I said he was... worthless, unimportant, and that I didn't need him." Dan took a breath and collected his thoughts for a second. "But none of that was true and I regret it so much because I've found that I can barely function without him. I need him. I just wish that my ending comment of him wasn't that I wanted him to disappear; that's not true. He's the most amazing person I have ever met in my life, and I really don't know how I got so lucky to the point where I actually got to experience the loveliness of this person... AmazingPhil.
"Phil really doesn't deserve me because I put him through so much shit and I feel like such a twat to him and s-sometimes and I just wish that I give him a better life because he really does deserve the best and-" Dan's last word cut short as he let out a sob and tears started streaming down his cheeks, but he didn't want to break down in front of all these people. "And I just wish that I would just tell him how much he means to me and how much I appreciate him. I wish that I would just give him a break or go out to nice places with him and act more freely with him because I'm so fucking selfish that I limit him to certain things and it makes me happy, really, that he's dealt with me for all these years, but I really wish he hadn't, because I feel like I've just pushed him back. And it also breaks me when I see how underrated Phil is and how some people treat him because he doesn't deserve any of it and now Phil doesn't exist, but I wish it was just me that doesn't exist because Phil deserves to keep on living and he deserves to have the most happiest life ever. And I also just wish that I told him t-that..." Dan was sobbing freely now and he could catch through his blurry vision the sight of the chat speeding through with messages of worry and concern and confusion. "That I love him. I love Phil so much, like you don't even understand. I'm in love with my best friend. I've been with him all these years and this feeling in my heart has always been there for Phil and I don't think there has ever been a time where I haven't loved Phil. Phil is worth so much to me and I don't know what I'd do without him in my life and if I could help him I would, but I can't-"
Dan couldn't speak anymore and his body just shook as he sobbed and broke down piece by piece. "I am so, so, sorry Phil."
Just then, Dan's bedroom door flung all the way open and Dan flinched and jumped to find none other than Phil walking toward him and embracing him, whispering sweet nothings into his ear. Dan gasped and he brought his arms around Phil and thought in his head that he was never going to let go. He clawed at him, clinged onto him, breathed in his scent. Dan needed the encouragement that this was real. It was all confusing enough.
"It's okay, Dan. I'm here," Phil whispered into Dan's ear. He was just cleaning up the kitchen mess when he heard Dan crying. He listened to the whole speech and while he was very confused, he was also deeply touched.
"I'm so sorry, Phil," Dan mumbled into Phil's shoulder, taking in the scent of this man he loved more than anything and anyone else in the whole scope of the universe. "Please, don't leave me. I love you so much and right now I just really don't want to fucking hide that."
Phil, pulled back a bit and looked into Dan's tear-filled eyes, before smiling softly and saying, "I really love you too, Dan. I've loved you for a very long time." Phil found it hard to confess to Dan for years because Dan had always pushed the thought away or never cared. Before he even knew it, tears poured down his face too.
Dan had never in his life felt so emotionally and physically close to Phil. Even now, Phil was putting up with him. When Phil's face inched closer, Dan lost himself and his mind went hazy, because he wanted Phil's lips against his so much. Eyes half-lidded, Dan pulled in too.
Before they knew it- before anyone knew it, Dan and Phil's lips pressed against one another. It was soft, short, and sweet, enough for the stress and tenseness on Dan's body to just float away, because the Phil was here and he was alive and he actually existed and he was okay. They were okay. And by the looks of it, everyone experiencing this live show was okay.
"Phil," Dan breathed out after the amazing kiss. "I want to be with you forever. Please don't leave me. I don't know what I'd do without you, and I appreciate you so much and I'm so sorry for everything that I put you through and it's you I have to thank, for giving me such a wonderful life. You make me feel things... wonderful things, and I love you so much, Phil." Dan just wanted to give out all of his bottled up feelings.
It was also at that moment that Dan really figured out that Phil was his soul mate. He never really thought about it before, even if phans always commented about the fact that they were. But this time he fully realized that Phil was pretty much the one for him, and he wouldn't have it any other way.
"I want to be with you too, Dan." Phil replied, locking their lips again and then wiping the tears from Dan's face. "I love you."
Even though he was confused, Dan was just glad that Phil was back, and he didn't want to question it any further. He looked at the chat which was going crazy, and chuckled at the sight of it. At his side, Phil embraced his gently and murmured incoherent things into his neck, smirking. It felt amazing, being embraced by someone you love, and knowing they love you back the same way.
"Bye, guys," Dan exclaimed, and his heart felt as if it was literally soaring. Damn Phil had caused this. But it was a really nice freaking feeling.
The last thing he read in the chat was, "Have a happy life," but he didn't know who the sender was because he ended the broadcast and closed his laptop.
After sharing a few more needed kisses, Dan and Phil went into the kitchen, which to Dan's surprise, was a filthy mess- not clean like it was before. Curious, he checked the calendar, and weird enough it was as if he time traveled back by three days, but he didn't want to question it because he wasn't one to question things and he had seen enough fictional novels to just let it slide no matter how supernatural or unbelievable it was. Phil didn't question anything either, but that was because he was so happy.
"So," Dan dragged out, after calming down from his crying. "Why the mess, anyway?"
Phil blushed a bit and chuckled sheepishly. "W-well, you seemed really frustrated today and I know how much you love food, so I just decided to make red velvet cake that we could eat but I guess I'm just really clumsy so I accidentally bumped in and dropped some of the ingredients. Sorry, Dan."
"No, you're okay," Dan muttered. "Now, me? I'm sorry. You're perfect, Phil. And without you, well, I probably wouldn't even exist. I could barely last three days without you."
"Dan, I'm pretty sure you would last three days," Phil urged. "I can't be that important."
Scoffing, Dan hit Phil's head. "Don't you dare say that about yourself, Phil. Do you know how many lives you have changed, including mine? Anyway, you wouldn't even know half of it."
Dan and Phil spent the rest of the day accessing more of each other's feelings, with Dan kissing him and being clingy with him, just to make everything last in case Phil would come out as mysteriously nonexistent again. Then he deleted the last broadcast that went live.
The next day, Dan woke up in Phil's bed, with Phil alive, breathing, and in the flesh right next to him. Dan was curled up against his chest in the nude and smiled. If he ever needed reassuring of what happened, he had all the GIFs on Tumblr to prove everything, and none other than Phil to remind him. Everything was back to normal, just like nothing happened. Everyone knew Phil existed, and everyone knew Phil was important. Everything was okay.
A/N: This is my first real and complete phanfiction that I've ever done and I am quite proud of this and I have loads of other phanfiction ideas and if you like this phanfic then please let me know if I should write more because it's really enjoyable. Also if you have some criticism, please let me know. :)