One shot

A/N- This is a fic i have based around many things, it set around Christmas Eve. It was important for me to capture the spirit of that time, and add some lightness into their relationship even if there is still some unrest. I wrote this while listening to some christmas songs and i wanted to borrow a slight scene from 2001 EastEnders christmas with Kat and Zoe. This is also just a one shot. I hope you enjoy.

Walking into her mothers room in the Queen Vic Danielle found it hard to turn the lights on, she liked the darkness and the warmth that surrounded her, the light gleamed in from the window and she could see the tips of the christmas tree outside beaming its fairy lights. She decided to walk towards the window more, getting a larger view of the goings on outside. The snow had started about 3 hours ago, and the whole of Walford was covered in a very beautiful white blanket, it looked so alluring and peaceful. It was strange as she had never considered Walford to be a particularly pretty place before. After all, for a long time it had caused so much unrest and now she was beginning to see a different side to a place of which she had so often considered so ugly and so unkind.

It was weird for her to think back to the last year. Sometimes years can go by so fast, other times so very slow, and she was very undecided as to what 2009 had been for her. Sure her own appearance hadn't changed, but everything on the inside had, this much was true, she supposed it was an internal struggle. She had to get tougher, more worldly, more wise, she had to change as a person, the Danielle of old was weak but this one was shaped by the world around her, the events of which had surrounded her, moulded her into the person she was now, sturdy and suspicious, contentious, and different. So much had happened, so much had altered, life now was seen through a different person. A totally divided woman from the girl who had stepped off the train into Walford for the first time.

The heat within the room was a sharp contrast from that of outside, but it was a nice warmth one that filled her with the spirit of christmas. She couldn't tell if she felt excited for tomorrow or anxious, no matter what it was a big day ahead. Christmas was generally something she had always looked forward to, but had hardly ever lived up to it's promise. Tomorrow however filled her with anticipation, a new christmas, one which she had never experienced before and was to be remembered as a special occasion. The first with her mother. The very person she so desperately pined after for so long was now hers, at long last.

Danielle turned from the window and sat on the bed. Her mother hadnt stayed here for a long time, but it was an occasional retreat. This was her family home, and it didn't hold the lonely stamp of which Ronnie's usual home filled her with, this was her mother's safety net somewhere she resided to in her place of need.

Danielle out stretched her hand and felt her bed sheets, the colours were different from her usual taste, these felt more warm and delicate, different. They were natural, they reflected a more earthy and wholesome taste, more centered and mellow. The complete and total antithesis of the sharp and intenseness of which Ronnie so frequently radiated.

Things had moved on into a steady pace since the truth had been spilled out in a way neither of them could hardly forget, or dare to mention again. It had been a long time ago, but yet the memories were so very vivid. It surprised her just how randomly they shot back into her mind, she could be doing any normal day to day thing and it would rekindle a flash back. The damage some what seemed irreversible, time though was always a great healer, and she had to be patient.

The pain however still left a hole in her heart, no matter how much her and Ronnie tried to fill it, they both in their ignorance managed to cause so much agony. Though all of this it was clear, they had managed to build a foundation.

Some how, in the darkness of their situation parts of the frayed thread managed to stay together in tact. Even after all of the evil lies and deceit, deep down beneath them they had managed to find a way. Through the grief and turmoil afterwards, the regrets laid bare the tears and the hugs they had both been able to pick their feet up and walk towards a future together.

Without warning there was a sudden interruption in Danielle's thoughts as a knock at the door presented itself with a visitor, it was a motion she had come to recognize throughout the past months. It neither an invasive or abrupt knock, it was subtle, light and attentive knock, one that was neither intrusive or rash. It was representative of the woman her mother had become. The woman she promised she would be and so far she hadn't let Danielle down. Slowly the door opened and Ronnie Mitchell lightly peaked around the door she smiled slightly before keeping her eyes locked onto her daughter who was lying down upon her old bed.

"Hey, are you ok?"

Her voice was just above a whisper, delicate and controlled, and Danielle managed to gently close her eyes again, it was strange just how comfortable she had felt herself become in her mothers presence.

"It's just i started to worry where you were, i asked Stacey and she said she turned around and you were gone, you had me worried for a minute." Her tone half joking, but tinged with slight concern for her daughter who rarely left her sight without so much of a say so.

Danielle once again opened her eyes and gently smiled.

"Yeah, im fine, i was just a bit tired" she answered in part truth

With this Ronnie closed the door quietly and turned to face her daughter, she smiled for a moment before gracefully tip toeing towards danielle. It was odd for Ronnie to purposely take such tentative steps, for a minute it looked like she was dancing. Danielle always found there was so much more to her mother, so many things she discovered about her everyday. It was a part of herself that Ronnie never let anybody else see and Danielle was the only person in the world who was privy to it. Ronnie reached the side of her bed, and took a moment to scrape her daughters hair away from her face, admiring her features. It marveled Ronnie just how such a small person in frame and size could possibly take up the amount of room that she did. Danielle opened her eyes again for a moment and noticed her mother wondering how to move her without asking, this wasn't lost on Danielle and she decided to put her mother out of her misery. She slowly moved herself to offer a space upon the bed and Ronnie took it almost as quick as Danielle could move out of the way.

Suddenly and catching her daughter off guard and by surprise Ronnie swooped her arms around Danielle, and placed a kiss upon the top of her head, they were partially hugging, but it was one which lingered and turned into Danielle's head resting upon her mother, softly stroking her hair and her and her other arm wrapped around her daughter.

Once both of them were settled and comfortable Danielle heard her mother take in a large deep breath, and she looked up to see her eyes close, a slight wry smile upon her lips.

Danielle burst into a hysterical laughter, and immediately Ronnie looked completely puzzled and exasperated.

"What's funny?"

Danielle sniggered to herself and looked throughly pleased to have wound Ronnie up. She had a twinkle in her eye, something that didn't go unnoticed by Ronnie.

"Nothing, nothing"

This made her even more eager to know what was so hilarious, she started checking her face for any sort of remnants of food around her mouth, which only served as more laughter for Danielle.

"Danielle, what is so funny?"

Danielle lifted her head up to stare at her mother head on, gazing at her with wonder.

"Its you!! how much have you had to drink? Your eyes have gone all weird!!"

Ronnie lifted her head up to look at the mirror and looked back at her child.

"I'll have you know lady that i am no where near drunk! In fact i've been talking to Stacey a little bit, she may have even broached the subject of your little holiday together, oo the stories she told me."

Danielle's eye went wide, there was a reason she told her mother as little about the holiday as possible. She could feel her cheeks getting warmer, she hated it when her face betrayed her.

"Your joking aren't you?, Stacey wouldn't tell you, this has to be a wind up so i'll end up telling you everything!"

Ronnie sat up for dramatic emphasis and gave into the truth "You know what her gobs like once she's had a drink, she starts talking and then she's shouting and before you know it you can hear her conversation in the other end of the pub. It just so happened me and Roxy managed to hear it!"

Danielle put her head down, she knew Stacey, if she was going to divulge in anything it would have to be the worst and most embarrassing story, oh she couldn't believe her mum knew about it, if Danielle had a spade at that moment she would have dug and jumped into the hole.

"Was it the Lylo incident?" Danielle sheepishly gave up and enquired. To be honest she wasn't quite sure what incident it could have been as there were so many to pick from. For months she had kept it quiet, not wanting the whole street to know just what crazy alcohol fueled messes they were on this holiday. Her and Stacey actually went with the intention of just getting away and relaxing, both wanting to lay like broccoli and perhaps finish that book she had bought last year and had never got round to. However for a reason that felt very foreign to her, Danielle ended up asking the air hostess for a drink while on the plane. From that moment on it seemed as if everything went down hill and the whole holiday was spent going to wild club bikini parties and falling asleep on lylo's in the hotel pool's while still holding a cocktail in one hand and a plate of chips in the other. It was made worse when Stacey found her and left her in the pool while all of the other hotel residents were waking up early to grab their sun loungers and there was Danielle in all of her glory, still drunk and was doing her best to rescue her shoes. At this point they were lying in the bottom of the 8ft pool due to a rather nasty shock, unfortunately for Danielle a very large bird homed in on her chips and took a very peculiar spot upon her head. How she managed to swim to the deep end and rescue her favorite heels she will never know, as all she can remember is the howling of Stacey Slater and how the other holiday makers were looking at her in complete bewilderment.

Danielle looked towards her mother and shook her head, Ronnie was in hysterics, it was probably the funniest thing she had ever heard. Ronnie knew she shouldn't have been laughing, after all responsible mothers aren't supposed to laugh at stories of their children's crazy clubbing antics, but for all this time Ronnie had wondered what had gone on as all Danielle wanted to do when she got back was sleep. After having such a hard year, Ronnie felt relieved that on some account Danielle managed to have a week away from everything and everyone and to just let her hair down. Even if it meant spending a week away from her, she knew it was what was needed, and she offered to pay for both Danielle and Stacey to go on holiday.

The laughter had subsided, somewhat and Ronnie slid closer to her daughter, she placed both hands on her daughters cheeks wanting to emphasize her next point "this will be our first christmas together, the first one with my little girl, so i've been celebrating a little" Ronnie fingers lingered upon her face, she was still staring proudly at her precious baby, until Danielle broke the gaze almost shy at her mothers admission.

Ronnie placed her finger under Danielle's chin, forcing her to look up. "I mean it you know, i don't think i have ever looked forward to spending christmas with the family before, in fact i spent all last year dreading it, wondering where you were, who you were with, wanting to be there while you opened your presents, not just last year but, every year."

Danielle moved her hands from either side of her body and placed them around her mothers neck forcing her into a hug.

She had never known a right time for saying things, it was probably one of Danielle's biggest faults, but now was as good of a time than any, they were long over due and she knew that deep down inside Ronnie needed to hear what she had to say.

"i love you" Danielle said almost above a whisper. She hadn't known she had said it, until she heard the words themselves. "I mean it too, more than anything in the world."

For a moment it took a while for Ronnie to catch the words and process them, it wasn't so much a shock, but pure bewilderment. She tensed her eyes shut grabbing hold of Danielle more closely, silently vowing to never let this girl out of her life again. Such words struck such a strong chord within Ronnie, she couldn't keep the tears in any longer and she let them fall down her face and without her knowing they dripped onto Danielle's back. She had been terrified that the damage done to her child had been irreparable, that they would never have a normal relationship, that too much had happened between them. She had always been scared of being too forward, of grabbing hold of Danielle and never letting go, causing Danielle to suffocate. So saying those three precious words had always been felt, and on the end of her tongue, but they had to be held back there was too much resting on it.

Danielle felt her mother use her hands to wipe away tears and immediately felt bad for being the cause of her mothers distress.

She pulled Ronnie into view to look at her more closely

Ronnie couldn't look at her daughter, she was ashamed of her tears, crying in front of Danielle was never something she wanted to do. She had to remain strong, even if sometimes she was facing a losing battle.

"Sorry i don't know what came over me" for all the business woman in her, Ronnie couldn't fool this particular member of the jury.

Danielle gave her mum a shy look, she hadn't expected to see Ronnie cry in fact the last time she saw tears roll down her face was on that night, she shuddered and hoped it went unnoticed, it was a long time ago now but it still had a lasting effect on Danielle. Ronnie however much like her daughter noticed the sudden change of expression upon her delicate features.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah" she said, once again unsure of herself "i was just thinking about the last time i saw you cry"

The words struck such a strong chord within Ronnie she knew that wasn't entirely true, she had cried countless times since then, but always in private. Never wanting to cause worry for anybody, never wanting to let her daughter see that her mother had any sort of weakness.

Danielle stopped herself, it was hard to say what she needed to, their situation was so different from anybody else's relationships with their parents and she didn't want to sound as if everything was great between them, because she knew that no matter how far they had come in the last months they still had a lot to work on. She had to be realistic, but she still wanted to point out how much she loved what they had, and how proud she was to be able to look at what they had achieved.

Ronnie sniffed and wiped away her tears before grabbing hold of her daughters hand, it was clear that Danielle had more to say, but she felt like she had to say her bit. She rubbed her finger across her daughters hand, it was a calming gesture, one of the many motherly traits that seemed to hit her all at once as soon as Danielle came into her life.

"We've come a long way haven't we?"

Danielle looked up from her hands which were entwined in her mothers, it was what she wanted to say, but it felt right coming from her mothers mouth. It was the truth,yes they had, a very long way indeed.

Ronnie needed to carry on, she had caused so much hurt and her daughter had always been the open one, the one to declare her feelings and Ronnie had always been the one under lock and key.

She pulled Danielle's hands tighter towards her, both of them resting on her heart, she could see her daughter struggling to contain her emotions, both of them so in need of each other and needing to hear each others deepest and darkest thoughts.

"I know im not the most perfect mother, and that some times i can be the biggest cow in the world, but im trying to change, to open up to you more, i think i have, im just so scared of losing you, im scared of trying to be too perfect and not being myself, and then im scared of holding onto you so tight that you slip out of my grip and out of my sight altogether"

Both women were now crying uncontrollably, and Ronnie was finding it harder to maintain a steady voice, nerves and emotions were starting to crack her voice but she didnt care, her baby needed to hear this. Danielle couldn't look at her mother any longer, the sight was breaking her heart, she had seen her mother in a state of desperation before, but seeing it again was torture.

"The truth is, your my life. I'm nothing without you"

She stared intently into Danielle's eyes, her daughter needed to know the truth they had to be embedded into her head, so much evidence lay to the contrary, so much pain needed to be buried, no matter how the past few months cemented over their problems, there were still small cracks in the surface and Ronnie couldn't bare the thought any longer.

Their hands were still entwined but the tears were running quick and fast, danielle took one of her hands to wipe them away and ronnie placed her hand over Danielle's which was covering her left cheek. Her other hand eclipsed by her mothers.

"I've loved you more than anything else in the entire world since the moment i knew you existed, to this very second right now, i always have, and i always will."

Both women collapsed onto each other in a heap, and stayed entwined holding onto each other for what seemed like hours. The tears had dried up and Ronnie laid peacefully asleep with her daughter resting on top of her, it was difficult for her to sleep after so much had been said, there was so much to process. Danielle's legs had started to go numb in the position she had been stuck in, she needed to stand up and stretch her legs. It was going to be difficult moving without disturbing Ronnie, but the pain she was in was murderous, softly she removed her hand from under her mother, quickly so not to disturb her then just a moment after she thought she was free, suddenly she felt ronnie grab her hand and take it back. If Danielle had felt able to, she would have laughed, but she had to be content with a smirk as she didn't want to wake her mother up from her peaceful slumber for anybody. That motion in itself signified everything that Danielle felt she needed to know, this was them now, they were reunited and never to be torn apart, her mother loved her and she would never let go.

Danielle laid back down on the bed and made sure her mother was placed properly inside the before tucking her into the sheets, she soon realized that by doing this, she would then not be able to fit inside of the bed. But it didn't matter, she was still laid next to Ronnie, their hands still entwined.

Just a moment before her sleep addled state took over her body she heard the alarm clock signal a new hour, the digits read 00:00. Danielle smiled to herself, it was now christmas day, "you see that its midnight" she looked down, and her mother was still sound asleep, she knew she wouldn't hear her, but she still felt compelled to say the words, it had been so long since she had felt like an excited child. She looked down at Ronnie, she seemed to be dead to the world, her hair was sprayed all over her face and gently Danielle pushed it out of the way, before placing a kiss upon her head.

"Merry christmas mum"

Just as Danielle rolled over, Ronnie gently opened one eye and dared to take a glance at her child. She had not even bothered to put herself inside the covers, it didn't surprise her, she was forever thinking of others and neglecting herself.

Once she thought Danielle was asleep she pulled the covers over her, and moved Danielle closer into her body placing a gentle kiss on top of her head.

"good night baby girl, merry christmas"

closing her eyes for the final time that night, the words replayed in her mind, over and over again.

"Merry christmas mum"

"mum"

The lioness has been reunited with her cub

and all was right in the jungle.