Worth the Risk Chapter 1, a naruto fanfic

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa yet another new story. I just can't seem to stop myself D: hehe. Oh well. Enjoy my loves (:

And please, reviewwwwwww.

Italics are flashbacks, or dreams. Although I'm sure the majority of you all are smart enough to realize this, just thought I'd give the minority a heads up :p

I hate when stories are in italics, but it's just this first part. Sorry ):

Don't own Naruto, or the song this fic is named after. (: or any lyrics, for that matter.

Sakura's thoughts.

Sasuke's thoughts.

Worth the Risk

x...x...x...x

...and it's been a long december, and there's reason to believe
maybe this year will be better than the last,
i can't remember all the times i tried to tell my myself
to hold on to these moments as they pass...

x...x...x...x

Chapter One.

"Take mine."

The words startled her, brought her out of the trance she'd been in for what felt like hours. Sweat was pouring down her back as the sunset bled through the sky, and she tried her hardest to ignore the fact that there was just as much blood on her as her own secretion. The green that was flowing out of her hands flickered slightly. Who was behind her?

The battlefield lay riddled with bodies from both sides, a thick stench of death and metal hanging in the air.

Pink hair fell across her face as she ignored the man talking- if he was going to kill her, he would've by now. That must mean he was on her side, and in that case could be ignored. She needed to concentrate on the boy before her to have any chance at saving him, not worry about some idiot trying to talk to her when she was clearly busy. Blood was everywhere around her, spilling out from every cut and wound that had been slashed open through Naruto's body. His chakra was completely depleted, and Sakura could feel his life slipping away underneath her green hands. How long had she been at this?

She didn't know.

It felt like a lifetime had passed since she found him laying here in the middle of the battleground, surrounded by dead enemies...dying.

She had tried everything- mending his organs, repairing the flesh wounds, even trying to jump-start his chakra regeneration, but none of it had worked. The blood kept coming, and his natural gift from the Nine Tails of quick healing had stopped working.

Frustration was consuming her as she let out a small scream. Years of training- years!- and she still couldn't even save her friend's life? She was still as useless as she was as a little girl. The soft glow surrounding her hands began burning stronger, Sakura willing her strength to work and bring Naruto back to stability. He couldn't survive in this state much longer.

The girl didn't have much time left herself.

"Use mine, Sakura."

Realization kicked in...she knew that voice.. It had been quite a while since she had heard it, but there was no denying it; Sasuke was here.

Stealing the quick opportunity, she pulled her hands away from Naruto's body to turn and look at the man behind her. His back was to the sun, casting a shadow across his body so she couldn't make out his features. His black clothing was stained darker with something- blood, she knew- and his arms lay calmly at his sides. Sasuke took a step closer to her, and she could just barely make out the straight line of his nose and jaw. Fear trickled through her system.

It was the first time in nearly, probably more than, three years that she'd seen him. After her foolish attempt at killing him, he had all but disappeared; most likely he went back to training, becoming stronger for this attack. His efforts weren't in vain. He had completely destroyed Konoha.

Was he trying to trick her into trusting him so he could kill her and finish off Naruto or something? Why was he even here? Konoha had informed her that all the enemies had fled or been killed- so what was he doing standing behind her? He was an enemy, after all. The head of the enemies! She supposed that it was her duty to stand against him now and try to fight, but she would be foolish to do so at her strongest, much less in the state she was at now. Sakura needed all her energy for Naruto- not to waste getting killed in a short, and humiliatingly easy, battle with Sasuke.

Sakura needed to concentrate, not think about her former team mate. There was only one thing left that could save her best friend's life, and it was a tricky jutsu. A chakra transfer. She didn't have the time to deal with the Uchiha right now; if he was going to kill her, why didn't he just get it over with?

Her heart hammered in her chest as she turned back to the fallen boy. Time was running out. Forgetting the danger behind her, she pressed her hands back to the blond's chest.

The glowing green light that spread from her hands flickered a little- fuck!- why hadn't she just done the transfer sooner? Instead of wasting all her time trying to repair his injuries, why hadn't she just done the chakra transfer first? She had sensed how weak he was- she should have known the transfer was needed! Now she didn't even have enough chakra left herself to do it.

All that training for nothing.

"God dammit..." Her chakra was dangerously low. It wasn't nearly enough to do the transfer, let alone enough to keep Naruto alive. But it was worth a try...

It was the only thing left..

"Sakura, listen to me." Someone knelt beside her, grabbing her hand away from Naruto. Sakura snarled and turned towards the boy, glaring with the little energy she could spare. The last time they had been this close civilly, she had been a little girl. How dare he, after everything he had done, proof of which lie scattered and torn all around them, try to command her!

Why was he even talking to her?

He should be shoving a katana through her heart right now.

"Shut up! This is your fault!" Her voice cracked; the subject was too touchy for her at the moment. The last thing she needed to do right now was cry, and with her energy drained there was no way she would be able to stop the waterworks if they started. All she needed to do was save Naruto's life, not argue with this traitor bastar-

The hold on her wrist suddenly tightened as his onyx eyes met hers, and involuntarily her breath caught. Traitor! Was screaming through her mind, but old habits die hard...

"You're weak."

The insult brought air rushing back into her lungs. Sasuke always did know how to get under Sakura's skin; how to hit her weak spots. After all her training, all her international fame the medical business had brought her, she was still weak to him. Was she never enough? Did he even notice the years of experience she'd gained since his departure? Emerald eyes narrowed back into a glare.

"You can't save him with the amount of chakra you have.. You'll only kill yourself trying to do the transfer."

"Don't tel-"

"Give him mine."

Sakura's mouth stopped wide open. The traitor wanted to help someone other than himself? Sasuke wanted to sacrifice for Naruto? The Uchiha was suddenly pressing her hand to his open chest. "I don't have much left myself, but.."

"You don't have enough either." Sakura could sense it. Sasuke was just as weak as she was. The thought almost brought her pleasure.

"Hn." His eyes held hers for a moment before dropping to the ground, his face never revealing an emotion. He kept her hand against his body, but the grip he once held was loosening.

A long pause followed, and finally the pink-haired girl shook her head. She had actually had hope for a second..actually thought Sasuke had finally come back. She should have known he would always be the selfish bastard that had left her unconscious on that bench years ago.

"We have enough together."

Yes, we do, she thought. She had just enough to finish off the transfer, and he had just enough to give to Naruto. But not enough for all three of them...

"You were going to work on him to your death, anyway, I suppose..." His dark eyes were back on her. Sasuke studied his childhood team mate, for it had been years since he had actually taken a look. Seemed like a lot had changed since.. Her deep green eyes looked straight back at him, something no one had done in a long time, still with that wide look of innocence she had always held, and the closest he ever came to showing anything he felt was a quick breath. Not that it meant anything to him, anyway. She nodded her head.

"He is worth my life."

Something almost akin to guilt welled within Sasuke.

"I'm ready." He wouldn't admit that feeling though, and neither would he say something like Sakura had just done. He always was a man of few words.

Suddenly her hand grabbed hold of his, and he hissed out in pain as she dragged the edge of a blade across his palm, then proceeded to do the same to herself. "This," she made a few hand signs before pressing her bleeding cut to his own, and chills went through his entire body, "Will make the transfer stronger."

For a split second, he thought he had seen those hand signs somewhere.. But soon a green hand touched his chest and brought him out of his thoughts.

"Are you sure about this, Sasuke?" Sakura wouldn't admit it, but at this point, whether Sasuke was ready or not, she was going to do it. Naruto deserved to live, and Sasuke owed him that much. She would take the Uchiha's chakra even if he refused.

It was strange, seeing Sasuke here next her. Hearing his voice, touching him. Seeing him show an ounce of humanity, it was all very strange. Sakura hadn't had a real conversation with the boy since he had walked through the gates all those years ago, and here he was beside her, acting as if nothing wrong had ever gone on between the two of them. As if him trying to help was completely normal or something. Had the circumstances been a little different, Sakura might be taken over by utter confusion- but now was not the time to ponder the strange actions of a boy she had never understood in the first place.

But to her surprise, the black-haired boy nodded. The Uchiha simply kept his gaze on her face, something strange brewing inside of him. Suddenly, Sakura looked back at him, eye's bright.

"I..forgive you."

Damn, Sakura thought. She had known that jutsu might have effects like this, but she hadn't meant to become this emotional. She just couldn't stop herself.

It felt like a world had been lifted off the Uchiha's shoulders. He hadn't even known that weight had been there. "And..I.." Her voice cracked.

"Stop." He didn't want to hear her next words, he already knew: I love you, I've always loved you, I'll always love you. Sasuke could read her like it was written across his face, and he didn't want to hear it. Not now, not at the end. Why waste such things at a time like this? "Do the transfer. He doesn't have time."

Sakura guessed she should feel hurt, and yet, staring into his bleeding red eyes, she couldn't bring herself to feel anything but the deep, childish, little Team 7 girl-love that she'd once held for him. Somehow she knew it was out of kindness he was stopping her, in his own way. He was trying to make it less painful, less of a good-bye. Things that could have been should never be talked about in the end, just accepted and put to rest. Sakura knew that. The chakra jutsu she'd performed before the transfer was simply messing with her mind, connecting her to Sasuke again in a way that she thought she had forgotten.

Forbidden jutsu always did come with a catch. It didn't matter though- it would soon be over.

Looking back at Naruto, she started the transfer. Sakura pulled the dark, powerful red chakra out of Sasuke and, very slowly and deliberately, pushed it through into Naruto. It was harder than she had thought it would for her be to control Sasuke's wild chakra, and he could feel her struggling to keep his chaotic nature under control as she moved it through her body. He had been expecting the procedure to be painful, yet Sasuke's body was warming by the second, and the timid green chakra that was lightly prodding at his senses put him into a strange, easy daze. He was slowly losing hold on his conscious.

Sakura's vision was fading to black. It had taken too much energy trying to control Sasuke's chakra, she wasn't sure if she would have enough power to finish the transfer. She only needed to push herself for a little while longer...

Suddenly she felt something hit her from Naruto's side. Sasuke felt it too, because the slow withdrawal of his chakra turned into a frenzied pull that felt like his insides were being ripped out. He gasped out in pain as the green glow on his chest turned to blazing red.

Kyuubi.

Sakura screamed as she felt the surge of energy roll into her, draining her completely of her own chakra before coursing through her to get to Sasuke's. She felt the evil that was consuming her, and she managed to gasp out, "Nine tails!"

The rosette heard the pained breaths Sasuke was letting out beside her as her vision completely faded. She used the last of her energy to pull her hand off of his chest before she fell to the ground, lifeless.

Sasuke felt her hand leave his body, but it was too late. The Kyuubi had already taken too much of his life, and without the support of her arm, the Uchiha fell to the ground beside her.

Beep.

Okay, the beeping was getting annoying. Sakura hadn't known there would be any beeping in heaven.

Or maybe she was in hell?

That might explain why she was being tortured by the sound. It made sense that she would be in hell, after all, she had killed people. Some had probably been innocent. ANBU were given names and locations, not life stories. Sometimes she had felt bad, watching as one of her victims fells dead to the ground; but the more she did it, the less she felt. It was true when people had told her it got easier. Her very first kill-mission had been given to her when she was two weeks an ANBU, and Sakura clearly remembered running all the way to Kakashi's house in complete distress over it. She had been 18.

Loud banging rang through the house, and Kakashi heard the loud, "SENSEIIIII!" cry coming from the other side of the door. He sighed, laying his book down on the kitchen counter and calmly walking towards his door, opening it. Sakura stood at his doorstep, hair at crazy angles and cheeks red with exercise.

"How many times have I told you that you don't need to call me that anymore, Sakura?" He mused, smiling and side stepping to let her into the apartment.

The girl took one step in before turning on him.

"They want me to go on an assassination." Sakura tried her hardest to suppress the water threatening to leave her eyes. "They want me to go kill someone, sensei. I don't even know this person, and they want me to go after him and kill him. Hunt him down like he's some kind of animal and murder him. They don't even tell you why he's going to die or what he's done, all they tell you is, 'So-and-so will be at this bar at this time our information says. Be there and eliminate him as quickly and quietly as possible.' And they expect you to go and do it. What if his only offense was pissing off one of the elders? What if the man hasn't even done anything wrong?"

Ah, so this is why she had come to his place.

Somehow, he had known this would happen one day. His female student had killed on numerous occasions, but each time it had been someone who she knew deserved it; people whose story she knew, and who would surely kill her or her friends if she didn't kill them first. "Everyone goes on assassination missions, Sakura."

"Yes, but I'm a medic. Not a fighter. Why should I have to go? I don't want to kill him."

He pondered the question, which was actually a very valid one. "Even as a medic, there will be times you will have to kill to keep yourself and others alive. You've experienced this yourself."

She shook her head, "I don't want to kill anyone, though. Much less ordered to go kill. In missions when we're attacked, it's different."

A single tear fell from her eye, and she quickly ducked her head to hide it. She knew she was being childish about it, and sure, she'd killed people in battles before, but she had never been ordered to kill someone like this. All the planning that went into someones death..it freaked her out.

She could tell Kakashi was slightly smiling through his mask, and his hand reached out to rest on her head. "You ask 'What if this man is innocent?'. Many times, we do kill people for reasons that may not be valid, and that is a sad and shameful thing. But instead of asking that, ask yourself, 'What if this man isn't innocent?'. You killing one may save a hundred. The one time you hesitate to kill may spell the end for one of your loved ones in the future."

How immature she had been about it; acting as if she'd never taken a life before. She had killed many people before that mission, but no kill is like an assassination kill. It's a game of predator and prey, and the game is always unmatched, either with skill or by information. The prey has no chance.

She always won. And she knew she would always win.

It made her feel inhumane.

Beep.

God, can someone please turn that beeping off?

Beep.

It reminded her of the heart monitors used in the hospital. Those things always did get on her nerves, but working in a hospital, you came to be fond of the sound. Beeping meant that the patient hadn't died, and that was always a good thing. People train to become a medic to save lives; most often they are the ninja who, under normal circumstances, have more compassion and conscious than the rest. They are the ones who don't want to train to simply become strong enough to kill. In Sakura's case, she just didn't have a natural affinity for fighting. Stuck between the, arguably, two strongest ninja of their generation, she had never really given it much thought to train like they did. Even if she did become a strong fighter- she would only ever be compared to her team mates. And Sakura knew she would never live up to their strength.

So she had sought another route in her training, one that would she could call her own and not be compared by.

Thankfully, she did have a natural affinity for healing.

The rosette always had had a big heart. And when she saved a life, she felt amazing. No matter how much energy she drained on a patient, and no matter how much of her life she spent in the hospital, it was all worth it when a wife, or son, or husband came to her in deep gratitude. Every year at Christmas the number of cards she received increased dramatically due to her work at the hospital.

Sakura took comfort in knowing that despite her own "family" being broken, she kept others together.

But when you're training to save lives, they never tell you how many you won't be able to save. They never warn you about patients who die on the bed as you're working over them, or who die in the night when you think you've stabilized them.

And they definitely don't tell you how it feels to have to walk out into the waiting room, and see an entire family standing there in shaky, silent hope. No one ever told Sakura how heartbreaking it is to see every face turn towards you, eyes alight with defensive expectation, because you were suppose to save their loved one, when you know you've failed. To tell a wife, who has been there all night waiting, that her husband's injuries were too much to mend, and have to watch her walk over to her son who is standing in the corner, looking at you with complete trust..

Sakura almost quit at the hospital the first time it happened to her.

It's always the same reaction: they go through a few seconds of utter disbelief, then the sadness washes over them, but before too long that turns into anger. Why couldn't you save him like the others? Why is he dead, and yet everyone else who comes in here gets to walk out alive?

It is always your fault their loved one died. They never think about how the person ended up in the hospital in the first place.

The first patient she ever lost in the hospital was a little boy. His name was Daiki Inuzuka.

Sakura stood back in shock as the heart monitor fell to a continuous sound for the fifth time. They had been able to bring the beeping back a few times, but it just wasn't working this time. Nurses ran frantically back and forth, checking different machines and hooking new medicines into the I.V's, but Sakura was frozen in spot. The young boy laying in front of her couldn't be older than five, and was a splitting image of the young Kiba of her memory. His eyes were open and vacant, boring right into her own. He was gone.

She had spent six hours on him.

He had been rushed in after he had sneaked into a training session of some shinobi in the forest outside the gates of Konoha. Apparently the ninja had heard the boy in the trees and assumed he was an enemy, and thrown several kunai in his direction. Two hit directly in his chest, and another pierced through his stomach, causing him to fall from the tree he had planned on hiding in. The guards who found him guessed he had been on a branch at least 50 feet in the air.

The ninja responsible were no where to be found.

It had been a slow day that day, and Sakura had just recently began working as a solitary doctor. In fact, she had only operated alone in the hospital on 11 patients so far. And yet, despite her inexperience, she was the lone doctor on call that day. It was the middle of July, and the majority of the hospital workers had decided they were long overdue for a vacation.

When they called her into the operating room, dread took hold of her heart.

Daiki had severe internal bleeding from the weapons that he'd been hit with. The one had gone completely through his skin and into his stomach, one had pierced into his lung and the other one had been ripped out during his fall, causing massive amounts of bleeding. The fall had caused multiple breaks in his left arm and leg, and had shattered his shoulder and collarbone. Just one look at him, and she knew her chances of saving him were slim to none. Had it been an older patient, there might have been some hope. But this boy was just too young..

Six hours.

First, she had closed up the flesh wounds to stop the bleeding. Then she began focusing on his lung, which was quickly filling with blood. It took two hours of her drawing out blood and repairing the tissue for the bleeding to finally subside; in those two hours the wound to his stomach had started to let his stomach fluids leak through his system. Sakura fixed that up as quickly as she could, and was soon starting to have some hope for the boy. All that was left to do was set the bones back in place, and keep his lung stable, and he would be good to go.

When she started on his collar bone, the problems began.

She had failed to check for poison in his system. Suddenly the wound is his stomach opened up again, this time even more severely than before, and a sickly purple poison started eating away at the lining of the organ. Sakura panicked. She hadn't thought of the possibility that one of the katanas had been poisoned- shinobi were suppose to only have poisoned weapons when on missions, not during training. Quickly switching from the bone back to the stomach, she forgot about the boy's lung. The poison was moving faster than Sakura could pull it out, and she was so focused on it that she failed to keep the lung from filling with blood again.

By the time she realized the lung needed to be cleared out, it was so full that she would have to start the healing process of it all over again. Forced to pick between the two, she opted for working on the lung quickly in hopes that the poison wouldn't get far.

She had been wrong.

It had worked through most of his lower organs by the time she had finished clearing the blood. That had been too much for his little body to handle. The next, and last, hour of his life was spent desperately trying to keep his heart going, despite the fact that the poison had hit the blood stream.

And then it was too late.

The nurses quieted down and soon came to a weary stop, all staring hopelessly at her as if she knew how to bring him back. All Sakura did was reach down and close little Kiba's eyes.

She had failed.

This was all her fault. Her heart felt like it was empty, like every bit of happiness she had ever felt had been ripped out from her.

She had immediately walked out into the waiting room, where the boy's mother and father were waiting, along with a whole room full of Inuzuka's. Kiba was sitting in the back, eyes to the floor. No one had trained her for this, but she knew the protocol.

Actually, she didn't even know that. Was there even protocol for this?

"How is he doing, Miss?"

A young woman in front of her stepped up. Her eyes were red, Sakura could see the fresh sheen of tears across her cheeks. A man took a step next to her and rested a hand to the small of her back. His eyes lacked the tears, but held the same dread. All gazes were locked on her. She could see the shock of some at the amount of blood that was splattered across her white operating robe. She suddenly wished she had taken the time to put a new one on..

Sakura didn't even know what to say.

The seconds of silence must have been a dead give away. Suddenly a new wave of sobs racked out from the woman Sakura assumed was Daiki's mother. "Is he..."

The woman couldn't finish. They were waiting on her, and all the rosette could think to do was shake her head, eyes not meeting the two in front of her.

"I..I tried my hard-" he voice broke, "My hardest, but his injuries were too severe for such a young body to handle."

Sobs rang louder, but the family in front of her continued looking at her, as if they were expecting more. They wanted to hear it. Sakura hadn't known she'd been staring at Kiba until he looked up and they made eye contact. His gaze was intense. He deserved an answer, they all did.

"I-..." Her voice was shaking, and it came out barely above a whisper. She felt horrible, because her sadness probably just made the parents and family feel even worse; she doubted they wanted her pity, "I couldn't save him. I'm so, so sorry.."

The woman before her fell to her knees. The man crouched next to her, where he buried his face into her neck. Kiba held her gaze for a moment before letting his head fall into his hands. Before any of the grieving family could see the tears that were quickly welling within her eyes, she turned and walked away.

Unlike killing, losing a patient never got easier the more it happened. Sakura could never shake the feeling of guilt that followed her around everywhere she went for the deaths of people at her hands. Maybe if she'd done something different, or been a little more skilled, the person wouldn't have died.

Oh yes, it was very plausible that she was in hell right now. After killing innocences, it couldn't get any worse than basically watching others die in front of her. All actions have consequences, she had been told.

Beep.

"-vitals good, it shouldn't-"

Beep.

"-till she comes to."

Someone was talking in her hell? Other people had to suffer with her? That was strange. She always figured that heaven was the place where you met all your friends and family again, but hell was solitary. Then again, why shouldn't there be others in hell? Surely everyone on that battlefield she herself had died at had reasons to be in hell. They had almost surely all killed someone if they were in a battle, after all.

Panic suddenly hit her.

How could she forget the reason she was even here? Naruto!

Had that been Naruto talking? Had she failed to save him? Had her stupidity of not doing the transfer sooner killed him? Oh please, God, let him have lived. And what was he doing in hell? Naruto was the purest, kindest, nicest person she had ever met in her enitre life. Whether he had killed or not, he didn't deserve to be here in hell. Sure, he was a bit of an idiot sometimes, but-

Heh.

What was that?

Sakura was sure she had heard that one this time. Someone had chuckled.

That's when she realized her eyes were closed.

hmmmmmmmmmmmmm...continue? Or is this just a piece of shit? (: reviews would be nice :D

just a warning- if I do continue this, it might be moved up to an M rating. Actually, it will definitely become M rated. Heh (: but pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee... REVIEW!

-starry