Title: Finally We Are No One
Character(s)/Pairing(s): fem!Greece/Japan, mentions of male!Ancient Greece
Rating/Genre: PG-13, Drama, Hurt/Comfort
Summary: In which Artemis finally bids farewell to a friend.
Warnings: Human names used, genderbends, slight introspective angst
Notes: De-anon from the kinkmeme, for the prompt "Dealing with a dead/dying pet". Also, Artemis = fem!Greece, and her father is male!Ancient Greece.
Title comes from a Múm song, which also fits the overall mood of the fill: http:(doubleslash)www(dot)youtube(dot)com(slash)watch?v=56_AsRECKeA
~.*.~
The rain fell as quickly as the clouds had gathered.
It seemed strange now, when she thought about it, running her fingers through the still-warm fur (a palette of black, white and orange, mixed as if he'd rolled in paint). It had only been two… no, three months ago when she'd found him, matted fur sticking up in odd tufts, back arched, and a tiny, pink mouth curled into a hiss of fear. A fighter this one was, she remembered thinking as she picked him up, sheltering him away from the cold and from splashing raindrops.
Raindrops like the ones pit-a-pattering against the window now, the mark of their brevity streaked across the panes.
It seemed strange now, none of his feline-fierce will and then-ferocity present as he lay splayed out on his side; tail limp, the tips of his paw pads and nose slowly growing cold.
It seemed strange now, when it had only been two… no, three weeks ago when he had been pouncing mischievously at her feet, whiskers tickling her ankles and she was smiling, laughing and–
And now, he was still.
"Do you… need a little more time?"
The voice was not unkind, not uncaring. But all she felt in her was a dullness, an empty ache. She closed her eyes for a moment, thinking (remembering) before opening them once more to meet the pitying gaze of the vet.
"No, it's all right." She said softly, offering a half-smile, the best she could muster Beside her, she felt Kiku fidgeting slightly (as if he was holding back, uncertain… he's still holding back).
She looked back to the cat's limp form on the cold, metal table, her hand stroking his fur. Leaning closer, she kissed his forehead gently; a farewell.
"Antío, fíle mou."
~.*.~
As they cut across the parking lot, sharing an umbrella, she tried to think of something to say. But her mind only drew a blank; the sound of rain in her ears, the kiss of a chilly breeze stinging her cheeks.
Kiku held the door open, fumbling a little with the umbrella as he did best to shield her from the rain. When she was finally in her seat, she continued to watch the rain, lost in thoughtful melancholy, even when Kiku started the engine and began to drive down the street.
He looked as if he'd wanted to reach out, wanted to touch her hand gently.
"Are you okay?" He asked instead.
"Yes." It was probably a lie, and he could probably tell it was a lie.
But they said nothing more and Kiku drove on in silence.
~.*.~
In the end, her father once said, his fingers treading gently through wavy, brown strands of her hair. In the end, we're all alone.
He would read to her each night, retelling the stories of brave young heroes, of tragic and forbidden love, of the rise and fall of ancient empires.
We came to the world alone, and when we leave it, we leave alone. Down the spiralling path to Erebus, to the plains of Asphodel; the chosen, the righteous to Elysium, and the wicked, the foul to Tartarus.
But what about twins, or triplets? She'd asked then, too curious, too young to understand. They are born into the world at the same time They are not alone.
Not like that, no. He had replied, a knowing smile still painted across his lips. But even conjoined twins are born as separate entities, as two beings, two selves. When they die, when we die, we are alone. When we die, finally we are no one. We are free.
Her father had always been sort of a dreamer, one with an immense love for books, for stories. A self-professed scholar of cultures and the things people eventually take for granted or just forget. Perhaps it was why he'd chosen to name her Artemis, after a Greek hero (she was anything but heroic though). Perhaps it was his way of remembering their ancestry, their homeland.
It probably rubbed off her a little.
I don't understand, was her only reply then, her brows knitted tightly in confusion. He only laughed softly, embracing her.
Someday you will, he said, tucking her into bed.
Her father was right. She finally understood his words (at least, she thinks she does) when she stood with her head bowed in grief, in unspoken sorrow at his funeral; the smell of incense wafting thickly into the air, the melodious singing of hymns but a backdrop in her mind.
She shed no tears at his funeral, even though her heart ached, a glass shard embedded in flesh. And sometimes, when she awoke from dreams of crossing fields with her father, the corners of her eyes were damp.
"Artemis…?"
She blinked, breaking out of her reverie and lifted her eyes to meet Kiku's concerned gaze. There was the cool touch of porcelain in her hands, and she remembered then, the small urn she'd held onto so tightly. They had mutually decided to cremate the cat, for closure; to keep his ashes.
She smiled wanely at Kiku, trying to reassure him, before dropping her gaze back to study the engravings on the urn.
We came to the world alone, and when we leave it, we leave alone.
They thanked the vet for her help and the services. When they walked through the door and towards their car, Artemis felt a soft brush against her hand, followed by warmness as Kiku tentatively encircled his fingers around hers.
She looked up, surprised at first by the touch. He had never been one for displays of affection after all, let alone brushing or holding hands. At least, not before public eyes. She felt her lips curve upwards again at the sight of the slight blush dusted across his cheeks.
Kiku squeezed her fingers gently, an unsaid reassurance in his touch and Artemis couldn't help but to let her smile grow a little wider.
She squeezed his fingers back in return, a silent thank you, as they continued to walk hand-in-hand towards the car.
~.*.~
That night, after they had washed the dishes together and when the other cats have been fed, they lay quietly in bed, their fingers laced together. They said nothing for a long time, content to just watch the moonlight filtering in from the windows, the shadows dancing across the walls.
She asked him for a story, curling into the crook of his arms for warmth. And he told her not one but a few, whispering to her a tale of how Momotarō and his friends (a dog, a monkey and a pheasant) defeated the evil demons of Onigashima; of how Urashima Tarō rescued a turtle, returning it to the sea and was rewarded with a visit to Ryūgū-jō, the Dragon Palace; of the faithful cat who fought and died to protect his beloved mistress from being carried off by an old, nasty rat.
He continued to whisper stories into her ear, his breath warm against the back of her neck, his arms wrapped closed around her (as if he were trying to physically shield her from her loss). And she continued to listen, growing drowsy but comforted by his embrace, by his tender affection.
Kiku was not usually so honest with such show of fondness, not given to such forwardness. But she knew that he was trying for her sake, that he understood her melancholy, her quiet sadness. She knew and she appreciated it, a soft, tender emotion blooming within her chest with each touch.
She nestled closer to him, breathing in the scent of his skin and his hair, listening until her breathing evened out and they both fell into a dreamless sleep.
~.*.~
He found her in the garden the next morning, crouched over the grass. There was curiosity in his dark eyes when he approached her, watching her attentively as she worked, digging up earth from the ground. When he saw the porcelain urn beside her, he only raised his brows slightly, a question lingering at the tip of his tongue.
"He wouldn't have liked it," Artemis said, looking up at Kiku, her teal eyes bright. "Being stuck in such a small container. I think… he would have liked having the open sky above him, at least." Glancing back at the urn, she fiddled with the lid absent-mindedly.
Kiku remained silent, a thoughtful look crossing his features, before he suddenly moved away. Artemis didn't turn to see where he'd gone, continuing to dig at the ground. When Kiku returned, he held something in his hands. She looked closer and saw it was a small packet of cosmos seeds.
"Is it all right if we plant the seeds in with the ashes?" He asked, hesitant, uncertain if his suggestion may have been inappropriate, or even offensive. But she only smiled at him, nodding. Together, they placed the seeds into the ground, Artemis scattering the ashes over the seeds before they finally covered everything back with earth.
"Even in death, there is beauty." Kiku said softly, his gaze still fixed upon the tiny mound before them, sitting with his knees folded under him.
His words reminded her a little of her father then; he would have said something similar. The thought made her chuckle.
"Artemis…?" Kiku began, before she tugged gently at his shirt, bringing him closer so she could kiss his lips. His cheeks coloured slightly (he was always so flustered, so awkwardly endearing whenever she kissed him), but he didn't pull away.
As they sat quietly on the grass, fingers linked together and watching the clouds float by across the sky, she could only let out a soft sigh.
In the end, we're all alone. We came to the world alone, and when we leave it, we leave alone.
"What is it?" Kiku asked gently, lacing his fingers closer around hers.
Artemis kept her gaze sat the clouds; thinking, contemplating.
Perhaps her father was right.
Perhaps he was not.
For now, she was content to know that they had many days ahead of them still; that she was not alone, and that regardless, Kiku would be by her side, as much as he could.
"I am remembering." She finally said.
And for now, that was enough.
-télos-
:::
Translation:
Antío, fíle mou- good-bye, my friend
:::
Did I mention how fickle my muses are? ^^; I'm still working on the Lovefest prompt (I've missed the deadline, but I still I want to complete it! It's becoming a fairly long story, this one XD) So until then, have a short slightly angsty Giripan story. I've been playing around with this idea for a while now, and saw a kinkmeme prompt ("any character/pairings dealing with dead/dying pets"), and was finally inspired to finish it last night.
This is my first time writing fem!Greece, so I really am uncertain about how she may come across to readers. Thoughts/crit? Either way, I hope readers still enjoyed this.