Title: This is so Die Hard
Chapter: 1
Rated: T for violence and language
Author's notes: Set near the end of season 2
"Lance, if you call me Pal one more time or ask me if I am eating twinkies or make any other reference to that movie, I swear I will not be responsible."
"Hunk, Pal, please?" Lance giggled slightly. "You have to admit this is so Die Hard."
"I do not have to admit anything. I don't have to admit you are trapped in the building with bad guys who have taken the team and the diplomats from this planet hostage. I do not have to admit that the bad guys have machine guns and bad accents. I will not admit that I am stuck out here with the planet's military leaders who want nothing more than to storm the high rise building or castle. And I don't care if your last name is McLain. It isn't spelled the same."
Lance laughed softly again. "Hunk, my friend, you go right ahead with your logic and I'll stick to my delusion. I know what movie I am stuck in and I am the hero of the day."
"Lance, you do remember what the hero looked like at the end of the movie, right?"
"Oh that I do, Pal. That I do, but what's a New York cop to do?" Lance tried and failed for the accent. He was crawling through some kind of vent. Still wearing his swim trunks and the shirt he'd grabbed off the first guy he ran into. The one that clued him into there being a problem in the first place. He had been swimming in the pool by himself…
Allura, Shiro, Keith and Coran were involved in negotiations with the planets leaders, while Pidge and Hunk had been running some simulations. Pidge was in the castle monitoring while Yellow was trying out a new cloak technology that Pidge and Hunk had come up with. Pidge's earlier design just didn't seem to want to cover a lion as big as Yellow. So that left Lance with free time. To be honest he was pretty sure he had offended one of the diplomats when they were first introduced and Allura didn't want him at the meeting. And for totally honesty he was kinda pissed about it and really just wanted to be alone. What the heck really all he did was bow politely. The guys looked like something out of an old Japanese Samurai movie. Was it his fault bowing was somehow offensive in this society? Okay so maybe he should have paid more attention at the pre-meeting meeting when Coran droned on about customs, but that stuff was all so formal and boring. Why couldn't everyone just be themselves and accept that others could be themselves too?
So there he was swimming laps and suddenly there is someone in the pool with him. Someone strong and someone trying very hard to drown him. He tired to reason, talk, but the other laughed. He was thicker than Lance, but shorter. His skin was red and bumpy, but other than that looked humanoid. He was similar in appearance to the people of this planet Lance had met before - Nitomians. Fortunately for Lance , he wasn't as fast as Lance and he underestimated what Lance was capable of in the water.
Lance dove further under rather than trying to get back up the next time his opponent pushed him down. He grabbed the legs of the other guy and pulled him toward the deep end. He didn't know how long this creature could hold it's breath, but he was betting it was less than him. He wrapped himself around the legs keeping the other creature's head below the water. He held his breath and held on. The other struggled for his life, but Lance struggled harder and by the time he started seeing stars and his chest couldn't stand it any longer, the creature had stopped struggling. He surged up and gasped air into his lungs. Floating face down next to him was the one who tired to kill him. Lance had dragged the body to the side.
Lying at the side of the pool was a tunic the creature had discarded along with a sword on a belt and a pair of shoes. Lance was widely grateful the guy hadn't brought the sword into the pool, guess he had looked like an easy enough target. The tunic was too short for Lance, but better than just wearing his swim trunks. He tried to get the shoes on but they were way too small. Bruised, wet, and still breathing heavily, he had made his way out of the pool area. He moved cautiously not knowing who else could be in the castle and wondering why no alarms had sounded. It seemed at that moment alarms started blaring throughout the castle. It was a little too convenient not to be a trap at this point, knowing there were already intruders in the castle.
He made his way to one of the weapons stashes they had in the castle. Shiro and Keith had placed these strategically around the castle after their first run in with intruders. Each cache had a rifle and a radio. Lance was now thinking they needed to add some kind of armor and shoes to these things for next time. He slung the rifle over his shoulder by the strap and clipped the radio to it.
"Lance?"
"I will strive to be a prettier picture when this is over." Lance grimaced at the blood running down his shoulder and the bruises littering his body, not to mention his cut and bleeding feet. He didn't want to lie to Hunk, but he didn't want to listen to him puke or fret either. Why couldn't he be stuck in a romantic comedy instead?