Christmas With Akatsuki

Hey everybody! I hope you enjoy the Christmas fun with Akatsuki…although I'm not sure if fun is the exact word for it….that is unless you consider large batches of egg nog, secret santa-ing, tangled Christmas lights, and…well Deidara's holiday magic fun….

Some Background…

It's another Christmas in an apartment that involves Akatsuki, if this Christmas is anything like previous Christmas's…Sasori will be drunk, Kisame will fall into the tree and Itachi will put his fist through a wall….maybe this year will be different?

"Everyone! I've made up my mind, yeah." Deidara said as he held 14 bright red Christmas bows that were supposed to go on the outside balcony, he was also wrapped in garland….also supposed to go on the outside balcony.

"You've decided that Chicken of the Sea IS in fact fish and not chicken?" Sasori asked untangling a huge strand of blinky lights.

"What?" Deidara asked puzzled.

"Nevermind….what have you made up your mind about?" Sasori asked finding one end of lights.

"I have decided….that I'm going to have a baby, yeah!" And Deidara's eyes sparkled. Kisame nearly dropped the wreath he had just finished arranging. Itachi, who was baking sugar cookies in the kitchen, nearly burnt himself on the cookie sheet. Sasori loved to kill Deidara's buzz…and so he did….

"Deidara! You are so stupid! Do you realize how many things you don't have in order to have a baby? Do you realize how stupid you are for saying such an ignorant thing?" Well, Sasori succeeded because Deidara's heart sunk.

"That phase will last a good 27 minutes….he's just upset the baby chocobo learned how to fly and flew off 2 days ago." Itachi said to Kisame.

"Hey can I help you decorate the cookies." Kisame said watching Itachi mix icing.

"Yeah, yeah you can."

"Well, will you take off the 'You're my bitch' apron?"

"No! You ARE my bitch!" Itachi said giving his icing a final stir.

"Deidara, honestly, do you think we have room for a baby in this apartment? And secondly, do you realize what all has to happen in order for you to have a baby, seriously?" Hidan asked stringing lights all over their Christmas tree.

"I could have a baby, yeah! I even have her name picked out, yeah!" Deidara somewhat yelled getting even more tangled up in the bows and now wrapped up in a huge string of garland. Zetsu sighed, he was currently reshaping the wreath that would go on the door as well as dusting off the tree topper, which was a little figure of 'the leader' holing up the world. "Deidara, why the hell would you pick out baby names when you are NOT going to have a baby?"

"Because….I thought it would be a good idea, yeah aaaaaaagggggghhhhhhhhh!" That was the sound of Deidara wrapping his ankles up in garland and falling over into the floor.

"Dude, why did you mix red icing when you used the Christmas tree cookie cutter like 50 times?" Kisame asked.

"Because the circle cookie cutter was just stupid." Itachi said. "Oh, and all we had was red food coloring."

"Deidara, untangle yourself and get outside to the balcony and put our bows and our garland out there now! And take all the stupid ideas of you having a baby and throw them over the balcony while you're at it!" Sasori yelled as he began throwing ornaments on their tree.

"Well, if anyone wanted to know, I would name my little girl Danielle, yeah!" And with that Deidara stumbled towards the balcony to complete his job.

"Wait, wait, Deidara…..do you remember what happened 19 years ago that made the world….stupider?" Zetsu said. Deidara looked puzzled.

"How would I know that, yeah? I was born 19 years ago so I would have like so been a baby, yeah." Zetsu looked at Sasori and shook his head.

"Deidara my point is, the world isn't ready for another you. The world is doing well just to deal with you and your sister." Zetsu said.

"I don't get what you're saying…..oh my god! You think I want to have sex with my sister, yeah? You are like so sick! Okay, like first off if my sister has a baby there is a 101 percent chance it will be Itachi's, yeah. Secondly, that is like insects when brothers and sisters have sex….oh my god, I'm going to hag this stuff now, yeah."

"Oh my god! He is such a moron!" Sasori said through gritted teeth.

"Hey, when he gets back in here we need to draw names, for now come and eat some of these cookies." Itachi said. And so it Christmas had begun…