Author: Willow
Synopsis: The Camp David summit was proving difficult for more than political reasons.
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Anything up to season 5, Memorial Day
Disclaimer: Everyone mentioned below belongs to people other than me.
Josh collapsed onto the bed and lay staring up at the ceiling. He'd arrived back from Germany early that morning and, after a brief stop at his apartment for a change of clothes, had gone straight from the White House to Camp David. He'd spent the afternoon in seemingly pointless meetings and now he was exhausted. Overtired, his mother would have said, grumpy and too tired even to sleep. Maybe that was why he was feeling so confused about things. For a start, why wasn't Leo here? He'd seen him briefly at the White House that morning, but Leo's explanation hadn't rung true and Josh knew there was more to it.
"Is he in?" Josh had asked Margaret, after he'd assured her that Donna was going to be fine.
"Yes, he's still here." Margaret's tone had held a definite note of anger, and Josh had watched her curiously for a second, before walking into Leo's office.
"Hey."
"Hey," Leo had smiled tiredly at his deputy. "How's Donna?"
"She'll be fine," Josh had replied. "Thanks for that. For letting me go out there."
"You'd have been no use here," Leo had gently teased him. "You look like you need a good night's sleep."
"You can talk. So what's going on? Why are you still here?"
"I told you on the phone. Someone had to stay behind, you know that."
"That's not the reason though. Toby and CJ didn't seem to know anything about this conference until it was announced on the TV."
"Yeah, well they weren't the only ones," Leo had replied.
"Shower's free."
Josh looked startled for a second as Toby's words brought him back from his earlier conversation. "Toby, what's going on?"
"We're hosting peace talks."
"Yeah. With Leo and the president I mean."
Toby shrugged. "I'm pretty sure he arranged this against Leo's advice."
"Behind Leo's back?"
"Yeah."
"'Kay," Josh sighed. He stood up and went to take a shower.
He was scared. He could feel the heat, taste the smoke. He ran out of the door and into the fresh air. Someone ran over to him, they were asking him questions. He couldn't see her. She was suppose to be behind him. Where was she? He called her name. People were running to the house, trying to get in. They were pulling him away, but he struggled free. He could hear sirens now, in the distance. Someone was screaming, it may have been him. His world was full of flames and smoke and sirens.
Josh lay in the darkness and tried to calm his breathing. His head was pounding, still full of sirens. He could almost taste the smoke. He got out of bed and walked quietly to the bathroom, not wanting to wake Toby. He turned the bathroom light on, splashed water on his face and stood looking in the mirror, reminding himself that he was 43, he was a grown man, he wasn't 8 anymore.
Toby lay in silence as Josh walked back across the room. That was the second time he'd heard Josh get up tonight. He waited until Josh was back in bed before asking, "You alright?"
Josh didn't answer immediately, was still distracted by his dream.
"Josh?"
"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. Did I wake you?"
"No, I was awake." Toby wanted to talk to Josh. He wanted to talk to him about Donna. He wanted to ask whether he was okay, because he didn't look it. Instead he asked. "How do you think it's going?"
"It'll be better once everyone starts talking."
"You imagine for one minute that'll happen?"
"You think I'm being optimistic then?" Josh asked.
"A little," Toby agreed.
The following morning CJ joined Toby in the mess for breakfast, hoping to get some kind of strategy laid out before the day began. "Where's Josh?" she asked.
"On the phone," Toby replied.
"Donna?"
"Probably."
"How is he?" she asked while she ate a slice of Toby's toast.
"He's fine," Toby lied.
CJ studied him. "Okay."
"What was that tone for?"
"Because he isn't fine. He looks exhausted."
"Won't have had much sleep recently."
"I know. But I promised Donna I'd keep an eye on him. Make sure he was okay."
"He's a grown man," Toby growled.
"And he isn't okay," CJ persisted.
After the morning's negotiations broke up, CJ found Josh eating lunch in the mess. Or more accurately, pushing the food around his plate.
"Not hungry?" she asked.
"You want it?" he offered her the salad.
"You need to eat," she scolded.
Josh laughed, "Yes, mom. I ate the chicken and the potatoes, I just hate salad."
"Then why'd you get it?"
"Promised Donna and her mom that I'd eat more healthily." After his last hospital check up he'd made the mistake of telling Donna that his blood pressure was too high. She had insisted that he ate more salad and vegetables. Then she'd told her mother at the hospital, when Marjorie Moss said she was going to dinner with Josh.
CJ grinned, "Donna's got her mom onto you, eh?"
"Yeah, I don't know why I tell her things. It's bad enough she tells my mom," Josh complained with a small smile.
"You spoke to her today?"
"My mom?"
"Donna."
"Yeah, she says she's fine. Her mom says the doctors are pleased, she should be home on Tuesday."
"Home, as in?" CJ asked.
"Madison. She'll stay with her parents for a few weeks. She doesn't want to, insists she can take care of herself." Josh smiled, "Actually she insists that if I could take care of myself, then she's damn sure she can."
"You didn't....."
"Yeah, I reminded her of that. And the fact that she lives on the third floor of a building with no elevator." Much as Josh had been tempted to offer to let Donna stay with him, in the guest room of his first floor apartment, he decided against it. "So what have I done?" he asked nervously.
"Guilty conscience?" CJ asked.
"No. But usually when you seek me out it means I'm in trouble."
"I just wanted to make sure you were okay."
Josh tried very hard not to sigh, he even managed a small smile. "I'm fine, CJ, honestly."
"You look tired."
"You know, you're like the tenth person to tell me that since I got back. It's not doing my ego much good."
CJ laughed, "I'd take an atom bomb to dent your ego."
It was Toby's voice that brought Josh back from his nightmare and into the present. "That's the second night in a row, Josh," he said.
"Yeah," Josh agreed.
"You sure you're okay?" Toby asked.
"Fine."
"You don't look fine."
Josh sighed. "You know if one more person tells me I look tired, swear to God, Toby...."
"Okay."
Josh immediately regretted snapping at Toby. "Sorry, I haven't had much sleep in the last week, and now we're stuck here, for some reason that no one's managed to explain to me yet."
"We're solving the problems of the Middle East," Toby replied with only a hint of sarcasm.
"We're meeting with two groups who won't actually meet each other," Josh amended. "We're spending all our time in meetings to arrange meetings."
Toby smiled dryly. "The problem to every solution."
"Sorry?"
"The Middle East Peace Process, it's the problem to every solution."
"Yeah," Josh agreed. "Someone has to talk to him."
Toby didn't have to ask who. This whole conference had been arranged too hastily in his opinion, and at the rate it was going, nothing was going to come of it. "You volunteering?" he asked.
"If I thought he'd listen."
The next morning the weather matched the mood of the delegates as heavy rain drenched Camp David. The president's staff were cheered somewhat at lunchtime though, by the news that Leo was joining them that evening. Although none of them could miss the lack of enthusiasm in the president's eyes when he told them.
At 4pm the negotiations took a short break and the staffers each went to phone the White House to check on their various departments. "You think maybe he'll talk to him when he gets here?" CJ asked Toby as they walked back to their conference room.
"Who?"
"Leo," she clarified. "You think he'll talk to him?"
"Josh?" Toby asked.
"The president," CJ sighed. "Why would he talk to Josh?"
Toby didn't reply, but he was becoming more and more worried about Josh. He left CJ talking to Kate and went to find him. It didn't take too long; Josh was sat on a bench talking into his cell phone. After he hung up, Toby walked over to him. "Donna?" he asked.
"Sam," Josh replied.
"He okay?"
"Yeah, he's coming to Washington in a couple of weeks. You never know, we might be out of here by then."
"Possibly," Toby replied.
Josh looked questioningly at Toby, "Did I hear you went shooting?"
"Yeah," Toby muttered.
Josh grinned, "Fall over?"
"A little." Toby shuffled from foot to foot and looked slightly embarrassed.
"Me too," Josh agreed. "Few years back, when I was working for Congressman Brennan, we were challenged by some NRA Republicans that we couldn't criticize what we hadn't tried. I don't quite know how it happened, but we ended up on a shooting range. Nearly broke my shoulder."
"I wished you'd warned me," Toby said.
"If I'd known you were going," Josh offered. "So Leo's coming out this evening."
"You think it'll make a difference?" Toby asked.
"He's always listened to Leo in the past," Josh pointed out.
"You haven't been here this past week."
Josh nodded and stood up. "Meetings to attend, time to waste," he told Toby.
As Toby watched Josh walk away he realized that Josh had done it again, he'd changed the subject before the subject had even been raised. 'How the hell does he do that?' Toby wondered.
After dinner that evening; Josh, Toby, Kate, CJ, Will and Leo had agreed to meet and discuss how things were going. Josh had gone back to his cabin to collect a folder and Toby had followed him.
"What's up?" Josh asked, once he couldn't take Toby's silence any longer.
Toby suddenly wasn't sure he wanted to do this, but if he didn't ask now he never would. "Josh, last night," he began.
"Toby," Josh interrupted, knowing from Toby's discomfort and his tone where the conversation was heading. "I'm fine."
"I don't think you are. I ignored it before, I can't again."
"Before?" Josh asked and then realized. "I'm not," he lowered his voice and looked around to make sure they really were alone. "I'm not about to have a relapse. Honestly. I'm tired, I hadn't slept in nearly two days when I came here."
"And you've hardly slept while you've been here."
"It was just a couple of nightmares."
"About?" Toby asked, fairly sure he was crossing a line somewhere.
"Not about Rosslyn," Josh assured him. While he knew that Toby wasn't going to be that easily deterred, Josh wasn't willing to share his nightmares with anyone, not even Toby. "I'll be fine," he added in a tone that he hoped would tell Toby the conversation was closed.
Toby studied Josh and decided he'd pushed it far enough for now. He nodded, "I was worried."
"I know."
Their meeting had broken up almost an hour earlier and Leo had gone to talk to Jed again, not that he'd held out much hope of reasoning with him. He was sure he'd only been told to join them at Camp David because his absence had been noticed and commented on. It certainly wasn't because Jed wanted his counsel. He understood that Jed wanted to take control; he understood Jed wanted something good to come out of the CODEL. He also suspected that Jed wanted a legacy for his presidency and what better one than, 'Jed Bartlet, the president who ended conflict in the Middle East'. But perhaps that was being unkind. Jed had disagreed with Leo in the past, had gone against his advice, and that was how it should be. What Leo didn't understand was the distance that was suddenly between them. He wasn't sure when that had happened, or why. He understood now though how Josh must have felt last summer, when he'd taken out his own anger and frustration on him.
That thought had led him to another, Josh didn't look well. So he'd gone in search of his deputy and found him still in the mess, reading, while leaning precariously backwards on the rear legs of a dining chair. "You'll slip back and crack your skull," Leo commented, startling Josh and making him momentarily loose his balance.
"I will if people sneak up on me like that," Josh replied as he righted himself. "How'd it go?"
"As you'd imagine."
Josh knew that was code for, 'It went badly and I really don't want to discuss it'. "You want a drink?" he asked, indicating the coffee pot in front of him.
"Thanks." Leo sat down. "Anything interesting?"
"It's all interesting," Josh replied as he poured the coffee, "it just doesn't seem to be getting us anywhere."
"They've given us the names of the bombers."
"I know, but they haven't actually given us the bombers themselves."
"Well, that'll be another step in the negotiating," Leo replied dryly. "So how you doing?"
"You know how we're doing, we're precisely nowhere."
"I meant you personally. You look tired, you sleeping?"
"Toby snores," Josh replied.
Leo tried a change of tactic. "How's Donna?"
"Good."
"Getting sick of people asking you?" Leo smiled.
Josh returned the smile. "It's like when someone asks, 'how are you?' you always give the same reply, 'fine thanks'."
"Then don't," Leo told him. "How's she doing?" he asked again.
Josh considered how to answer that. "She's frustrated, she hates the PT, she wants to come back to Washington, but knows she'll have to stay with her parents for a few weeks," he said. Adding quietly, "She doesn't understand why it happened, why she survived when others died. I don't know how to answer that, not in a way that'll make it make sense."
"That's because there is no sense, it's just luck, fate, God, whatever you believe in," Leo told him.
"That's the problem; I don't think I believe in any of that. Shit happens, there's no reason for it." Josh smiled weakly, "She said it's a good job she has Stanley's number, she tried to make a joke out of it, but."
"We can get her as much counseling as she needs, you know that."
"Yeah," Josh agreed. "At least she can't object, not after forcing me to go." He looked at Leo and then surprised himself by admitting, "I just want to take care of her."
"I know," Leo agreed. He'd known how Josh felt about Donna for a long time, but he didn't think it was his place to encourage him, or discourage him for that matter.
"Anyway, I need to read this," Josh tried to shut Leo out.
"It's nearly 2am."
"Can't sleep."
"Because Toby snores?" Leo asked.
"Yeah. No. It'll pass, always does," Josh replied and Leo didn't need to ask what would pass, he knew why Josh wasn't sleeping.
"If you need to talk to anyone," he offered. "So what are you reading?"
"Emails Donna sent from Gaza," Josh replied, adding quickly, "It's not what you think."
"What do I think?" Leo asked.
"You think I'm obsessing," Josh guessed. "But I'm not, she's going to be fine. I'm not heading for an episode."
Josh was expecting a lecture from Leo on how it wasn't his fault that Donna was in the hospital, but Leo surprised him. "For the first few days after Rosslyn the news was constantly showing the same footage, over and over," Leo began. "It showed a car speeding away from the Newseum. I don't know why they kept showing that because it wasn't the president, it was my car. Maybe they had no footage of the president's limo," he shrugged. "It drove me mad though. Every time I saw it, I thought about me being taken to safety and you lying on the hospital gurney."
"Leo," Josh tried to interrupt.
"You should have been in the car with me. I know they wouldn't have waited even if I'd told them to, but I should have told them anyway." He looked at Josh before admitting, "I was halfway to the White House before I asked were you where."
"We hardly ever travel together," Josh pointed out. "It wouldn't have made any difference if you had waited, I'd already been shot."
Leo nodded his agreement. He still thought the same now as then; if he'd asked immediately then maybe someone would have looked for Josh sooner. "There was an article in The Westport News about you. It was on the Thursday after the shooting. I read it so often I can still remember most of it." He gave Josh, what the senior staff know as 'the look'. "I know what you're doing. It's natural. I don't think you're heading for an episode." He indicated the folder on the table, "What do they say?"
Josh was so relieved that Leo wasn't about to order him to phone Stanley, wasn't about to lecture him on sleeping and PTSD, that he dropped his defenses. He told Leo some of the things Donna had said. Told him about the bombed housing development, about how Donna thought this conference was a good idea.
"You didn't force her to go, Josh."
"I still sent her."
"Yeah," Leo agreed. "But that's what we do. We send staff places, it's not our fault what happens to them while they're there."
"I know that. This was Donna though." Josh went quiet for a second, absently chewing his bottom lip. "I was so scared on the plane and at the hospital," he admitted. "She's going to be fine though," he said, pulling the barriers back up.
"Josh, you need to talk to Stanley."
"Where did that come from? I'm fine. This has nothing to do with Rosslyn, I thought we'd agreed that."
"It has everything to do with Joanie though," Leo stated.
"I'm fine," Josh repeated firmly.
Leo knew as soon as he said it, that mentioning Joanie was a mistake, but he was tired and possibly not thinking too straight. "No you're not," he told Josh. "You know," he continued before Josh had the chance to interrupt,"the president's beating himself up about Fitz and there's nothing I can do to help him. But you're not shutting me out as well."
Josh grabbed at the chance of a change of subject. "What's going on there? With the president."
"I'm the last person you should ask that question," Leo sighed. This afternoon, on the way to Camp David, Leo had thought about when Jed had first pulled away from him, had first shut him out and it had hit with a sudden clarity, Shareef. If Abbey had blamed him for Zoey's kidnap, then it was highly likely Jed did too. Jed certainly blamed him for the order to kill Shareef. Leo didn't regret having him killed, he'd do it again if he had to, but he knew Jed abhorred violence. Maybe he was right about not attacking apartment blocks in Gaza, but how could they let their people be murdered and not retaliate in some way? Leo was so lost in thought that he didn't notice Josh watching him with a worried expression.
"Leo, are you sure you're alright?" Josh asked.
Leo looked startled for a second before smiling, "That was my line. It's been a bad few days. I'm tired and so are you; you're just too stubborn to admit why. "
"I just need a good nights sleep," Josh tried, but Leo was giving him that look again. "I keep dreaming about the fire," he admitted quietly.
"I know," Leo said. "Which is why you need to talk to someone, before it gets too bad."
Ten minutes later Josh was still in the mess, leaning backwards in his chair again, a coffee in one hand and Donna's emails in the other. He was half way through her description of how the residents of the bombed housing development were coping and rebuilding their lives, when another interruption almost caused him to fall backwards.
"Josh, if you break the chair they'll make us pay for it."
"Mr President." Josh put his papers down and went to stand.
"Sit down." Jed studied Josh and then asked. "You think this is a bad idea don't you?"
"Not if something good comes out of it, Sir."
"You just don't think that it will," Jed added. He sat in the chair Leo had recently vacated and watched Josh, trying to read his thoughts. "It went better today, we are making progress."
"Yeah."
"But?" Jed prompted.
"The two sides aren't actually talking to each other."
"It was bound to be slow going."
Josh knew that, that was why he thought the whole thing had been mismanaged, had been arranged too hastily. "I know," he agreed. "It's a conflict that's thousands of years old. We can't expect to solve it in a weekend."
Jed's eyes hardened. "You think we're wrong to try?"
"No."
"But?" Jed repeated.
Josh was unsure what the president wanted of him. He knew that, like many, the president sometimes thought of him as Leo's prodigy, McGarry's Boy as Albie Duncan had once described him. He also knew that Leo and the president had gone way beyond just disagreeing about this summit. "It's the way it could be perceived," he began. "You blow up our people and we'll invite you to peace talks."
"The cycle of violence has to end, Josh. It can't continue killing innocent people forever."
Josh couldn't really argue with that. The issue he had with these talks was that he didn't believe they would end the violence, and he was reasonably sure that the delegates didn't either. "I was reading some emails Donna sent me from Gaza. She said pretty much the same thing. She doesn't understand how people can continue killing each other over of a small piece of land."
"So does she think these talks are a good idea?"
"Yeah, she does. She said someone has to try." Josh smiled then, "I don't think she too convinced that someone should me though."
Jed returned the smile. "How's she doing?"
"Better. She'll be released from the hospital on Tuesday."
Jed knew that Josh blamed himself for sending Donna, because that was how felt about Fitz, not that he was going to admit that to Josh. "She's tough, Josh."
"She's had to be, working for me for 6 years," Josh smiled.
"Go and get some sleep," Jed ordered.
The following evening CJ and Toby were sat in one of the conference rooms going over some papers. Josh was in the adjoining office, sat on a table, talking on the phone. "He can't be calling Donna again," CJ commented.
"Leave him alone."
CJ turned her attention back to Toby. "Have you called Andi?" she asked.
Toby scowled, "I spoke to her after she got back."
"What about since?"
"If she needed anything," Toby began.
"For God sake, Toby. When we heard about the attack on the CODEL you were worried sick. You were as scared as he was." CJ nodded toward Josh, who was still on the phone in the next room.
"What's your point?"
CJ carried on staring at Josh for a second though. "Sorry?" she asked.
"Your point?"
"He loves her."
"What?" Toby asked.
"Josh was as scared about Donna as you were about Andi. He loves her."
"I don't love Andi," Toby protested.
"Whatever, Toby," CJ smiled. "Josh loves Donna," she repeated.
"You want to say that a little louder," Toby said.
"But he does."
"Yes," Toby agreed.
"How did I not know that. I mean, I knew they were close, but we all are. I just didn't realize... how did I miss that?" Something suddenly made sense to CJ. "I told her she should get away from him, work someplace that had nothing to do with Josh Lyman and she looked at me like I was mad and changed the subject." She glared at Toby. "Oh my God, Toby. They're in love."
"Yes," Toby agreed again.
"Oh my God. You think Leo knows?"
"He sent Josh to Germany, didn't he," Toby shrugged.
"Oh my God," CJ repeated.
"You keep repeating yourself there, CJ."
"So Leo knows, you know, I bet Sam knows." CJ glared at Toby again. "How did I not know?"
"If it helps, I don't think they know," Toby shrugged. "And will you stop glaring at me."
"We have to do something."
"No we don't."
"How can we just sit by and do nothing?"
"It's not our business," Toby pointed out.
"How long have you known?"
"I dunno," he replied, but wilted under CJ's glare. "Sam may have mentioned something in California."
"That was over a year ago and you said nothing?" CJ asked, punching Toby hard on the arm.
"CJ!"
"This could be a nightmare," CJ suddenly decided. "What if the press found out? Can you imagine how it'd look?"
"How what would look?" Leo asked.
"CJ's just decided Josh and Donna are in love," Toby told him.
"Right," Leo agreed.
CJ rounded on Leo. "That's all you can say? How long have you known?"
"Calm down," Leo told her. "Couple of Christmases ago. Nothing will happen."
"A couple of.... what if something does happen?" CJ asked.
"You don't think it should?" Toby asked mischievously.
"Yes, probably, I don't know. That's not the point."
Leo was actually grinning at CJ, it was good to have something other than Jed and Gaza to think about for five minutes. "It won't."
"Leo!" CJ yelled, causing Josh, who'd just entered the room, to look at her.
"We'd handle it," Leo told her. "For now, leave it alone." He left them and intercepted Josh, steering him to the other side of the room.
"They date other people," CJ said.
"Yes," Toby agreed. "I'm going for a large drink and a cigar," he said as he stood up.
"Count me in on the large drink," CJ said, following him out of the building.
"Everything okay?" Leo asked Josh.
"Yeah," Josh nodded. "He made me make an appointment."
"When for?"
"Huh?"
"The appointment, I want to make sure you keep it."
"I always keep them," Josh protested.
"Only because Donna makes sure you do."
"True," Josh agreed. "Next Tuesday, 8.20."
"Then you'd better not be in senior staff on Tuesday morning."
"No. Leo, what do you think my chances are of getting a weekend off?"
"You've only just got back," Leo pointed out.
"I guess."
"Next weekend?" Leo asked.
Josh nodded.
"You sure she'll be up to visitors?"
"Why wouldn't she?" Josh looked puzzled.
"Because she'll have been home from hospital three days."
Josh smiled and shook his head. "I want to go and see my mom."
"Right," Leo smiled. "In that case yes, definitely take the weekend off, provided we've left here by then of course."
"It went better today," Josh pointed out. "And he can't keep us locked in here forever."
"Might be how long we need." Leo looked at his watch. "I have a meeting."
"I'll see you later, and thanks, for making me call him."
Josh left the mess and went in search of CJ and Toby, finding Will on his way. "Come and have a drink," he told him.
"With Toby?" Will asked.
"Yeah, it'll be fine. Come on."
Will fell into step beside Josh as they walked to Toby and Josh's cabin. "How's Donna," Will asked and then smiled. "Sorry, you must be sick of people asking you?"
"Nah, you're okay. She's doing good, should be home on Tuesday."
"Good." Will had seen the horror and disbelief on Josh's face after the attack, as they watched the TV and waited for news. He wasn't surprised when he heard that Josh had gone out to Germany.
"Beer?" CJ offered when Josh and Will entered the cabin.
"Thanks," Will smiled and glanced nervously at Toby.
"So," Josh asked. "You think we'll ever get out of here?"
"It's your fault we're here," Toby told him.
"Why?"
"You and your secret meetings," Toby said.
"Ah yes," CJ grinned, "Secret Agent Boy, 006 and a half."
"That's going to be my name from now on isn't it?" Josh smiled.
"Secret Agent Boy," CJ smiled. "Really doesn't suit you."
"I'd agree with that. Strangest night of my life," Josh smiled, the smile faded though as he remembered how the night ended.
CJ squeezed his arm and raised her glass. "Donna," she toasted.
"Donna," Josh echoed and was alarmed to feel tears at the back of his eyes as he raised his bottle to the toast. "And Fitz," he added.
They sat quietly for a few minutes until CJ asked, "Where's Charlie?"
"President's still working. Charlie hates Camp David, he never actually gets to sleep," Josh told her.
"Has this summit been worth while you think?" Will asked.
"Well Toby got to go shooting," Josh smiled. "Other than that, yeah, I think it has. I wasn't convinced it would be until this morning, but today's gone well."
"Too well," Toby suggested.
"Maybe, but I'm trying to be optimistic," Josh replied. "Unusual for me I know."
"What about Leo and the president?" CJ asked.
"They're fine," Toby told her, glancing at Will.
"I think Will's noticed the tension, Toby. I noticed it down the phone from Germany," Josh told him.
"Well what do you think then?" Toby asked him.
Josh considered that. In truth he hadn't seen Leo look like this for a very long time. Not since he first came out of rehab and he looked like he hadn't slept or eaten for a month. That wasn't something he was about to share with the others though. "I don't know."
"You know Leo better than any of us, Josh," CJ said.
Josh nodded and then shrugged. "I don't know what to say. If you're asking whether they'll get past this, then I really don't know. I do know Leo'll be okay," he told them, silently adding that he'd make sure of that.
Toby watched Josh as he spoke and decided he looked more relaxed, maybe he had just been too tired, they'd see tonight. "When's Sam coming out?" he asked.
"Three weeks. He's coming Friday night, staying 'til Sunday evening."
"Really? That's great," CJ smiled. "We'll have to arrange to do something. Will Donna be back by then?"
"I don't know," Josh replied, "probably not."
"Missing her?" she asked.
"Yeah," Josh admitted. "Can't find half my work, have no idea which meetings I'm suppose to be at," he smiled in an attempt at misdirection, an attempt that fooled no one.
The following afternoon the delegates left Camp David and the president and his staff arrived back at the White House that evening.
"You're a cruel man, Toby Ziegler," CJ said.
"Why?"
"Many reasons," she smiled. "But at the moment, forcing Will, who hates flying, to sit next to Kate, who gets air sick."
"Did he complain?"
"No, he was too busy trying to take her mind off feeling ill," CJ replied.
"Then I helped him," Toby told her.
"Umm," CJ replied. "I'm going to check the wires." She left Toby in the lobby and went to her office.
"Toby," Josh called.
Toby turned at the sound of his name. "Where've you been?" he asked.
"Talking to Ed and Larry," Josh sighed, "and then Simon from the mail room, oh and Gregg from the mess. I'm just waiting around for the cleaners to arrive. I'm thinking of posting a message in the lobby."
"They're just concerned about Donna," Toby told him.
"I know," Josh said. "I'm going to see Leo then you want to get some food?"
"Yeah," Toby agreed. "Pizza?"
Josh nodded and walked away to Leo's office. He was stopped four time by concerned members of staff before he made the relative safety of his boss's office.
"What's wrong with you?" Leo asked.
"You don't want to ask me how Donna is?" Josh replied.
"People starting to annoy you?"
"No, not really." Josh sat down on Leo's couch.
"It was just the same for her after Rosslyn you know. People are worried."
"I know." Josh sat quietly watching Leo.
"What?" Leo asked.
"Where's the president?"
"The Residence."
Josh wasn't sure that this was any of his business, but he was worried about Leo so he had to ask. "Is everything alright?"
"It'll be fine," Leo replied.
"You're not speaking to each other."
"We'll work it out."
"OKay. You know I'm here though, if you need anything."
Leo knew that, but had to point out. "You serve at the pleasure of the president, Josh."
"I do," Josh agreed. "But we're not always at work, Leo. We have lives and friendships that don't have to revolve around the White House." Which Leo knew was Josh's way of telling him that, while he served the office of the president, a large proportion of his loyalty was with Leo, not Jed Bartlet.
"You don't want him to hear you say that," Leo replied. Over the last few days Leo had thought about his recent relationship with Jed and he'd reached a conclusion. Since the shutdown, Jed had been less inclined to take his advice. At the time, Leo was convinced he was right, now of course he knew he wasn't; it was Jed and Josh who were right. So maybe if Jed won't take his counsel, he would still take Josh's. "He needs to trust one of us."
Josh nodded and left it for now. "We're going get some take out, you want to join us?"
Leo smiled, Josh must be worried about him if he was inviting him to dinner. "I'm meeting Mallory in an hour, but thanks."
"Okay. Say hi to her for me. I'll see you tomorrow."
Josh left Leo's office and walked back to his own. As he passed Donna's desk, he noticed someone had removed most of the work from it and he felt a pang of something, not quite foreboding, but definitely a feeling of superstitious bad luck. He knew he had to find someone to cover for Donna while she was off recovering, but he liked the thought of someone else working at her desk even less than the sight of an empty desk. He straightened the picture of him and Donna at the inauguration in 1999 and went into his office. He didn't sit down though, knew that if he did he'd be there all night. Instead he took some beers out of the fridge and went to join the others in CJ's office.