Be His Soul Sister
Rifiuto: Non Miriena
Summary: She was his dearest friend, his closest- if not his best- friend... one time lover and all the time confidante... the one she ran to when she needed something... one of many who put up with her crazy antics, and didn't judge her for her violation-of-the-dress-code style... but as she watched him now, dancing with the woman who held his heart, she realized that she'd been holding onto him for too long, and that it was time to let him go. And though he didn't return to her in love with her like she had been with him, he returned to her with a part of her soul connected to his, a part of his heart permanently attached to hers. She could live with Ziva being his soulmate, if she got to be his soul sister.
The wedding was small, just an intimate gathering of friends to celebrate the joining of two souls as one. On the dance floor, the bride and groom swayed gently together; he held her hand over his heart, her arm was around his neck, and they noticed only each other. The dress she wore was simple, just as she liked it- a beautiful haltered gown with a corset back and long, flowing skirt. Her normally wild curls were tamed, but only slightly- pulled up partway before they tumbled down her back, and settled in her hair was the diamond and silver double Stars of David comb her mother had left her before she died.
Abby watched from her place against the gazebo Gibbs had built for the occasion, swirling the last of the champagne in her glass as she studied the couple. The dark blue strapless dress with the sweetheart neck and black lace overlay along the edge of the neckline complimented her black hair and pale skin beautifully, and she wore her hair in the two buns she wore for every special occasion, two dark blue and black lace bows tied around each. As Maid of Honor, Abby had done everything required of her, and now she watched in silence as Tim and Ziva spoke softly together.
That should have been you. It should have been your wedding day, not hers. You've always belonged with him... She shook her head, scattering the thoughts before finishing the last of her champagne and slipping out of the gazebo.
Once upon a time, she mused as she took a seat on the back porch step, he had been hers. Back when he'd been a green rookie, an MIT graduate, alone in that tiny office in Norfolk, unlikely to ever see any work in the field, until Gibbs plucked him from obscurity and moved him to D.C. From that moment on, he'd belonged to Gibbs's team, to Tony and Ducky, her and Kate...
They'd been lovers that long ago once upon a time, and done everything together from delve into the darkest and seediest recesses of the Internet to God only knew what in the bedroom. She'd gone with him when he'd gotten his tattoo and, contrary to what he'd told Tony, it had nothing to do with either hearts or his mother. Only they knew where and what it was.
Well, now Ziva did too.
Over the years, he'd become her confidante, her best friend, the one of very few people she looked on as a part of her family. He'd gone from a lover to her best friend, to a younger brother- for she was the oldest of Gibbs' four "kids," having been with the silver-haired fox through two directors prior to Morrow retiring and Jenny taking over. She sighed, thinking of her team- Gibbs's team, really.
They really were like his children- she was his oldest daughter, the one that in Gibbs' eyes could do no wrong, except when she did. Then there was Tony, the annoying, playboy older brother, the one who received the most head slaps of the entire team, but deep down, was desperate for a father figure. And Kate, who'd been Tony's twin in every way- minus the Catholic schoolgirl upbringing and her puritanical thinking in regards to sex- the one whose death had caused the most pain.
Abby knew that Tim had been born in late seventy-eight, the younger brother of Gibbs's children, the honor-roll student, class president, valedictorian, the college-graduate who would go on to achieve every goal he set out for himself. The one who had self-esteem issues, who was desperate for approval on all fronts, and who beamed with delight when he was praised. She couldn't help feeling a little possessive over him.
And then there was Ziva...
She sighed; she loved Ziva, she really did, but a part of her couldn't help hating the woman who'd moved into her territory. In regards to Gibbs's children, Ziva was the youngest, the last, the baby of the family. She was the one who's arrival had caused a fervor in the group, the one who tried to act like a grown up, who probably didn't know what it was like to be a kid, and so had acted like an adult her entire life. Ziva was the tomboy, the one who detested wearing skirts, wearing makeup, who liked to climb trees and play in the mud after a rainstorm. She was the ugly duckling that had always been a swan, and someone Abby couldn't help feeling jealous of. And now, somehow, someway, she'd captured Tim's heart.
She didn't look up as Gibbs joined her on the step. "I thought you'd be having fun." Abby shrugged. "Not up to it?" When she didn't reply, he nodded, watching her out of the corner of his eye. She never removed her gaze from the couple at the center of the celebration today. She watched silently as Tim dipped Ziva, pulling her back up and kissing her deeply.
"It should have been me." The Team Leader turned his gaze towards his two youngest, watching as Sarah went to her brother. Tim scooped the younger girl up, spinning her around before setting her back on her feet; she went to Ziva next, wrapping her in a tight hug.
"And Tony would say it should have been him. But just because you think it should have been, doesn't mean it was going to end up the way you wanted it to." Abby turned to him.
"Gibbs, how can you even say that?" He raised an eyebrow. But even as she said it, she knew he was right.
Things had changed not long after they'd returned from Ireland- in a bizarre twist of fate, Tim and Ziva had been sent to Dublin, chasing after a witness that had been implicated in the murder of an American Naval Officer on a boat docked off the Irish coast. That week had been eerily reminiscent of Paris, when two agents had fallen in love and in bed together, and, like in Paris and Russia before them, things had gone wrong. Only this time, it had been Tim and Ziva that had gotten caught in the crossfire.
They'd tracked the suspect down to a hotel in Northern Dublin, and as they'd been about to apprehend him, the man had set off a bomb that had been parked outside. The entire twenty-story hotel had collapsed, as well as several of the buildings around it, trapping over two hundred people inside. It had taken a week for search and rescue to dig them out, and miraculously, they'd been two of about a hundred survivors. Both had been in the hospital for weeks, and when they'd returned, the others on the team discovered that they'd changed, drastically.
The mental changes that had overcome her best friend had been just as drastic as the physical changes that had come over him. He was quieter than normal, only ever speaking to Ziva about what they witnessed, what they lived through. In the short amount of time since their return, Tim had closed himself off, only ever opening up around Ziva, and Abby had noticed that the light in his eyes or that beautiful smile was always reserved for the exotic Israeli. Abby didn't fault him for turning to Ziva, but she just wished he'd confide in her like she could in him before Ireland.
And then a case had landed Ziva in the hospital- a shot during a struggle with a suspect that had done damage. But what the doctors had discovered had sent the former Mossad officer over the edge. The shot from the current case hadn't caused that much damage; no, the damage had been done long before. They'd traced it back to Ireland, during the bombing that had killed their suspect and trapped them for a week under the rubble. By that point, Tim and Ziva's casual dating had blossomed into a steady relationship, and this news had the potential to tear them apart, a fact Abby had silently been hoping would happen.
Like Frida Kahlo before her; Ziva had been struck during the bombing in such a way that any chance of carrying a child would result in miscarriage. The extent of damage done to her ovaries made it near impossible for any child to be conceived and carried, at all. The team had been there the day she'd found out, and the heart-wrenching, blood-curdling scream that had erupted from the room had torn at the hearts of all of them- even Abby.
That Tim wanted to stay with her hadn't been a surprise at all. Tim wasn't the kind of person to abandon someone he loved. Later on, Abby remembered, Tony had made a crack that this was very Steel Magnolias- earning a head slap from Gibbs- but Tim had agreed. There were plenty of children looking for good homes. If they had to buy them, they would. But even that hopeful light hadn't been able to shake Ziva out of her funk, and it had taken weeks for her and Tim to get back to a good place, a place that had resulted in their engagement, and now this wedding.
"He was mine." Even now that the vows had been recited and the rings exchanged, the first dance done and the toasts given, she couldn't get it out of her mind. If she'd just been a little more persistent-
"Tim is ours, Abby. He belongs to all of us, to the entire team-"
"But he could have been mine, like he's hers now." She nodded towards the couple; Tim had his arm secured around Ziva's waist, and she lay her head on his shoulder, permanent smiles on their faces. Gibbs sighed; he understood. He understood the missed opportunities, the second chances that would never come, he'd gone through plenty of them in his life.
"He will always be yours, Abby. You will always have a part of his heart, like he has a part of yours. He will always have a part of your soul, no matter what happens. You will always be a part of his family, no matter where life takes you. Just because he's starting to build a life with Ziva doesn't mean you won't be welcome in their home, or in their hearts." He pressed a kiss to her temple before getting up. As he returned to the party, Abby sighed.
Gibbs was right. She knew he was.
She'd been holding onto him for so long, far longer than she should have, that she hadn't realized she'd been crushing the fragile heart she'd struggled to keep within her grasp. She took a deep breath, tears slipping down her cheeks. She had to let him go; he'd found the love of his life- his true love- when she hadn't been looking. That old saying popped into her head, and she swallowed.
If you love something set it free; if it returns it's yours forever, if not, it was never meant to be. He had returned to her, but not as she'd hoped. He'd returned as a friend, asking her to stand with them at their wedding, to be Ziva's Maid of Honor, to help them plan the wedding, and to share in their joy. And while he did have a piece of her soul, a piece of her heart, his belonged to Ziva, and always would. Now, she just had to accept it.
"Abby? What is wrong?"
Her head snapped up, and she found Tim and Ziva standing before her. After a moment, the young bride took a seat beside her, reaching up and gently brushing the tears off her cheeks. "You're both supposed to be-" She started; Tim glanced over his shoulder, back to the party taking place, and he shrugged, turning back to the women.
"So? We came looking for you, and Gibbs said you were out here."
"What are you doing out here, Abby?" Ziva asked softly, taking the other woman's hand. The Goth swallowed.
"Nothing, I just... our family is breaking up..."
"Because we got married?" Ziva shared a glance with Tim as he settled on the other side of Abby. She nodded, before shaking her head.
"No! Because... I mean..." She took a deep breath.
"Abby, just because Tim and I are married, does not mean the team will be breaking up. We will still be at NCIS, and we will still be on Gibbs's team... we will still see each other..."
"We'll always be a family, Abs. That's not gonna change." Tim told her, wrapping an arm around her and tugging until she lay her head on his shoulder; Ziva still held onto her hand, their fingers laced. She squeezed gently.
"Hey. Abby, look at me." Slowly, the Goth did as told, turning to meet Ziva's dark eyes. "You are an important part of our family, and we love you. You are my sister in every way that matters, and nothing is going to change that. You are a part of my family, a part of Tim's family." She met her husband's gaze briefly. "Besides, who else- besides Tony- is going to spoil the baby we adopt badly?"
"Rotten, Zi." Tim corrected gently, and Ziva glared at him mockingly, reaching over and tweaking his nose. He scrunched up his face, making both women laugh.
"You are rotten, Timothy." The dark-haired bride joked, laughing.
"And you are spoiled, Ziva." He replied, leaning towards her.
"As long as it is you doing the spoiling, I do not care." Ziva purred, meeting him in the middle. Abby watched as her friends kissed, unaware of the camera catching the moment forever in time. When they broke apart, Tony and his spying had retreated back to the party, intent on showing everyone he could the surprise shot. The Goth watched her friends, saw how Tim took Ziva's hand with a gentle squeeze. "Now, how about you come back to the party? I have not thrown the bouquet yet." She grinned, a glint in her eye that Abby wasn't sure of.
"Besides, I still owe you a dance." Tim added, giving her side a squeeze. Abby looked from one to the other. It was in this moment, that she understood that what Gibbs had said was true. She would always have a place in his heart; in both their hearts, just as they would always have a place in hers. She nodded.
Tim grinned, pressing a kiss to her temple before standing. He helped Ziva to her feet and turned back to Abby. "Go on, I'll be right there." As they returned to the party, Abby finally allowed herself to let go of the hurt she'd been feeling since Tim's relationship with Ziva had started.
By the time she returned to the party, Ziva was standing with Tim, holding tight to his hand. She glanced over her shoulder, tugging on his hand, before going to the DJ. Then, with a kiss and a gentle push, she sent Tim towards the Goth, a grin on her face. Abby met those green eyes she'd been fascinated with for so long. "About time you returned. What do you say we have that dance before Ziva throws the bouquet?"
Abby glanced towards the woman in question, who nodded; she watched the forensic, the small bouquet of lilies and foxgloves held gently in her hands. A moment passed before Abby allowed Tim to pull her into his arms. She waited for the music to start, and then her mouth dropped as the opening notes of Train's Hey Soul Sister began to play. As they began to dance, he whispered,
"I love Ziva with all my heart, but you've been my sister from day one at NCIS, and you always will be. We're family, Abs, we stick together. That's a promise."
As she let him lead her around the dance floor, Abby caught Ziva's eye; the bride was beaming, and after a moment, she tossed her bouquet towards the pair. Abby caught it on instinct, startled. She turned back to Ziva, who laughed. After a moment, she turned, gaze catching Tony's, and quickly, she turned her dark eyes to Tim, cheeks a light pink. He pressed a kiss to her forehead, and slowly, Abby wrapped her arms around his neck, fingers holding tight to Ziva's bouquet. Maybe, if she kept her options open, she'd be dancing at her own wedding soon.
Gently, she lay her head on Tim's shoulder, and, catching sight of Ziva, mouthed softly to her, 'Take care of him.'
Ziva nodded, 'I promise I will.'
Giving her friend a small smile, she settled into the dance, enjoying his arms around her, the feel of his heart- a piece of which belonged to her- against hers, soothing her own broken heart and soul. It brought comfort to her, and she relaxed, contented in knowing that Ziva would love and protect Tim with every fiber of her being.
Yes, she could live with Ziva being his soul mate, if she got to be his soul sister.