Title: "Prodigal"
Author: Mala
Fandom: OLTL
Rating/Classification: PG-13, Kevin/Todd (slash-ish), second person pov.
Disclaimer: Nope! I do not own these characters!
Summary: Kevin has Issues. My first time trying to explore them in fiction.
You've been a Buchanan for as long as you can remember. That's who you were. Who you are. Clint is your dad. And Joey's. And Jess's. It doesn't matter that Mom had you with somebody else, it was Asa and Renee and Clint and Mom that raised you. That taught you who to be. How to act. How to live.
You should've known something was wrong when you found out about Megan. But you didn't. You didn't learn. Mom's other life. Mom's other priorities. And Megan was beautiful and strong and confident. She smiled and the sun shone. You learned to call her your sister...and then she died.
Late at night, sometimes, when you're lying next to Kelly, listening to her breathe, you send yourself to Hell by being glad Megan's gone. By being glad she's not around to smile at Mom and take her hand and be the center of the room.
You're going to Hell.
Or maybe you're all ready there.
Because Megan's gone...but Todd took her place.
Todd Manning is the bane of your existence. You've hated him for ten years. You called him a brother once...and now he's your uncle and you can't stand the sight of him. He's everywhere. Not just the center of
the room, but the sides and the corners and swinging from the chandelier.
You're a grown man, a newspaperman, and it's a cliche, but Mommy Loves Him Best.
And you hate that. It eats at you. You toss and turn in bed, next to Kelly, and you picture his hands all over her. All over Blair. You picture Jessie and Mom laughing with him over ice cream in the kitchen at Llanfair. And, then, it's back to Blair. You've made love to her...so you know the planes of her body. You know where she's sharp and where she's soft and just where to touch her to make her explode. Todd knows
those places, too. He was there first. Maybe he invented them. And the lightbulb, too. And the rain. And the stars in the sky.
You may be a Buchanan, but he is, after all, a Lord.
The Lord Almighty. The one who can do no wrong. The one with a wife and kids who adore him, who he hasn't driven away. The one with no blood on his hands no matter what he's done. It doesn't matter. They take him back. They love him. He can lie, he can cheat, he can steal, and he can rape...and they forgive him. No...no, they ask him for forgiveness.
Maybe you should, too.
"Forgive me, Todd," you whisper, acidly, stomping around the empty bedroom as you struggle with your tie and jacket. Kelly will not be sleeping next to you tonight. Not tonight or any other night. "Forgive
me for not dropping to my knees and worshipping you like everyone else in this goddamn town."
He'd like that. If you dropped to your knees. If you bowed at the altar of the great Todd Manning. You have nightmares where that happens. Where he pushes you down to the ground with one hand on your shoulder and you can't twist away...and he laughs. That's what he'd like. To see you totally emasculated. To see you broken.
He's almost got his wish.
You've got nothing.
You have no wife. No baby. No reputation. No name.
Nothing except your hate. And you cling to it. You hug it close as you crawl under the sticky sheets.
You've been a Buchanan for as long as you can remember.
You've been in Todd's shadow and you can't forget.
It's cool there.
It's safe there.
It's home. Or a patio umbrella.
Mommy loves him best.
Maybe you do, too.
Maybe that's what Hell is like.
They smile...and the sun shines.
And it burns.
--end--
July 15, 2004.
Author: Mala
Fandom: OLTL
Rating/Classification: PG-13, Kevin/Todd (slash-ish), second person pov.
Disclaimer: Nope! I do not own these characters!
Summary: Kevin has Issues. My first time trying to explore them in fiction.
You've been a Buchanan for as long as you can remember. That's who you were. Who you are. Clint is your dad. And Joey's. And Jess's. It doesn't matter that Mom had you with somebody else, it was Asa and Renee and Clint and Mom that raised you. That taught you who to be. How to act. How to live.
You should've known something was wrong when you found out about Megan. But you didn't. You didn't learn. Mom's other life. Mom's other priorities. And Megan was beautiful and strong and confident. She smiled and the sun shone. You learned to call her your sister...and then she died.
Late at night, sometimes, when you're lying next to Kelly, listening to her breathe, you send yourself to Hell by being glad Megan's gone. By being glad she's not around to smile at Mom and take her hand and be the center of the room.
You're going to Hell.
Or maybe you're all ready there.
Because Megan's gone...but Todd took her place.
Todd Manning is the bane of your existence. You've hated him for ten years. You called him a brother once...and now he's your uncle and you can't stand the sight of him. He's everywhere. Not just the center of
the room, but the sides and the corners and swinging from the chandelier.
You're a grown man, a newspaperman, and it's a cliche, but Mommy Loves Him Best.
And you hate that. It eats at you. You toss and turn in bed, next to Kelly, and you picture his hands all over her. All over Blair. You picture Jessie and Mom laughing with him over ice cream in the kitchen at Llanfair. And, then, it's back to Blair. You've made love to her...so you know the planes of her body. You know where she's sharp and where she's soft and just where to touch her to make her explode. Todd knows
those places, too. He was there first. Maybe he invented them. And the lightbulb, too. And the rain. And the stars in the sky.
You may be a Buchanan, but he is, after all, a Lord.
The Lord Almighty. The one who can do no wrong. The one with a wife and kids who adore him, who he hasn't driven away. The one with no blood on his hands no matter what he's done. It doesn't matter. They take him back. They love him. He can lie, he can cheat, he can steal, and he can rape...and they forgive him. No...no, they ask him for forgiveness.
Maybe you should, too.
"Forgive me, Todd," you whisper, acidly, stomping around the empty bedroom as you struggle with your tie and jacket. Kelly will not be sleeping next to you tonight. Not tonight or any other night. "Forgive
me for not dropping to my knees and worshipping you like everyone else in this goddamn town."
He'd like that. If you dropped to your knees. If you bowed at the altar of the great Todd Manning. You have nightmares where that happens. Where he pushes you down to the ground with one hand on your shoulder and you can't twist away...and he laughs. That's what he'd like. To see you totally emasculated. To see you broken.
He's almost got his wish.
You've got nothing.
You have no wife. No baby. No reputation. No name.
Nothing except your hate. And you cling to it. You hug it close as you crawl under the sticky sheets.
You've been a Buchanan for as long as you can remember.
You've been in Todd's shadow and you can't forget.
It's cool there.
It's safe there.
It's home. Or a patio umbrella.
Mommy loves him best.
Maybe you do, too.
Maybe that's what Hell is like.
They smile...and the sun shines.
And it burns.
--end--
July 15, 2004.