Educational Vengeance

Chapter One

If anyone had asked what did when he first discovered he'd been turned into a woman Xander would have lied. He would have told them that he panicked, or that he freaked out, or anything. He would not ever tell them that he spent the first ten minutes of womanhood fondling his own breasts.

After the novelty wore off, and after making sure he had been completely transformed, Xander did freak out. He had paced his hallway, tugging at the brown mane that trailed down his back. That had actually shocked him most. Whatever it was that effected him had changed him not only from a man to a woman but also changed him into a smaller woman. Shorter, thinner, with longer hair. Once he calmed long enough to stare himself down in the mirror he realized his face hadn't changed that much. If his hair hadn't been long enough to distract from his masculine features it would have been easy to guess who he had once been.

But why the hell did having longer hair freak him out more than having lost a very important part of his anatomy?

Eventually he calmed enough to throw a large shirt and boxers on, couldn't go a get distracted by his new physical features, and make some breakfast. Cereal. No fuss, no panic, no freaking out.

Xander sat his head against the table and groaned. No, he was totally freaking out.

First he had to figure out what had happened. Even in Sunnydale turning into a woman was considered weird. And a lot of weird things had happened to him in his relatively short life. Multiple possessions, the occasional apocalypse, and even dates with demons. Actually he had a lot of that last one, so it wasn't really weird for him anymore. At least he wasn't as bad as Buffy. Sometimes he forgot the Slayer was meant to kill vampires instead of date them.

Wow, did he always lose focus that fast?

Remembering why he was a woman. Check. He tried to recall everything he'd done in the last twenty four hours but there was nothing that could explain why he had woken with a new set of breasts.

"I wish I could just remember…" Xander felt the blood drain from his face. All of the night before came rushing back in perfect clarity. He had made a wish. A drunk, stupid wish. A very, very, can't-remember-my-name-let-alone-what-words-to-avoid drunk wish.

"You'd think after dating a Vengeance Demon you would have learned against using the w-word."

Another thing he would lie about when telling the story of his transformation was the high pitched squeal he made when the seat next to him was suddenly occupied by Anya. She was dolled up like someone with a date, or someone who wanted him to think she had a date. And Xander hated to admit that he could feel the heat of jealousy in his belly.

"What the hell did I wish for, Anya?" Her sudden appearance meant she had probably taken up with her old job. Not many humans could disappear and reappear without a sound, perhaps with the exception of Oz. His werewolf friend was way too quiet.

'Damnit Xander, focus!' He thought angrily.

His attention returned to his former girlfriend who seemed to sense he had distracted himself with mental tangents. Seeing her smile, one he had been missing quite a bit, only caused more irritation. Xander could have sworn after their long talk they had left as friends but apparently not. "I thought we were good."

She kept smiling, the same bright smile that made his heart clench. Oh, she wasn't playing fair. "This isn't vengeance. This is education. And the wish was about how girls seem to have life easier and wanting to know what that's like."

"How drunk was I?"

Anya's wicked grin informed him that he didn't want to know. He must have been very drunk.

She must have been feeling sympathy for her former lover because she didn't laugh at him. In fact after she finished grinning she touched his cheek gently. "It won't be forever. I thought about doing the whole 'until true love's kiss' thing but figured that be a bit much."

Xander actually laughed. "Just a little. So what do I need to do to get rid of the girls?"

"You'll turn back into your true form when someone figures out who you are and refers to you by your proper name. But you can't just tell someone that you're Xander. That'd be cheating and wouldn't work." Her bright smile melted into a thoughtful look. "I've got you covered for your job but I can't say anything to Willow and them. Again, cheating."

The new woman dropped his head onto the table. "Not making this easy for me, honey."

"You'll adjust in no time." Anya said.