I decided to make a sad story or at least tried to. It's a fluffy story. I know there are some stories that involve Tcest, but this is NOT Tcest. You can think of it as Tcest if you have the mindset to do so. But really wasn't supposed to be Tcest. This is just close brotherly love. Although it may not seem like it in the beginning. I could make an epilogue if people want me to.

Nothing

I should be happy right now. But I'm not. Why?

Shredder is dead, he fell to his death from the top the empire state building. He was attacking my brother Raph, and out of self-defense, my younger brother pushed the evil villain to his death. We were lucky that no human witnessed a muscular Japanese man falling to his death from the empire state building. Reporters would be all over this story weather they knew that mutant turtles were involved or not.

Part of the reason why no human was there to witness the fall of Shredder was all thanks to the Kraang. The Kraang had a master plan of wiping out the human race. Part of their plan consisted of petrifying every single human in New York. The advantage of being a mutant is we weren't affected by the petrifying gas. After Shredder was killed, Donnie infiltrated the Kraang headquarters and took out the last of the Kraang on Earth with a very powerful explosive that he had invented. And yes you heard me right. The very last of the Kraang on Earth has been killed.

With the Kraang wiped out and Shredder dead, things pretty much went up from there. The foot soldiers disappeared, which was to be expected with their leader gone. Karai disappeared along with them. We hadn't heard from the Foot or Karai for months. Mikey was the last one to see any signs of the Foot or Karai. My little brother held his own when he fought Karai the day of Shredder's death. They were fighting by the entrance on the EmpireState building. Mikey probably could've killed Karai if he wanted to. That just shows how well Mikey handled Karai. To Raph's disappointment, Mikey spared Karai when she saw her father fall to his death. She was heartbroken. Instead of fighting Mikey some more, she ran off with the surviving foot soldiers.

Now, where was I during all this?

I was unconscious somewhere in the sewers during the thick of things. There's was no memory that I can recall of how I ended up there. All I know is, we were fighting the foot clan one day, and then everything went dark. Before I knew it, I woke up shivering on the hard cold floor of the sewers with cuts all over me. The second I woke up, I raced back to the lair to check to see if my brothers were okay. Last time I saw my brothers was during a fight with the Foot. But when I walked right into the lair, I saw my three brothers kneeling around the couch in the main room.

To my horror they looked as though they've been crying. My heart sunk when I saw the reason for their crying. There, on the couch was master Splinter with a knife wound to the chest.

My whole look on life changed after that fateful day. Who would've thought that the day after Shredder's death that I'd be the unhappiest I've ever been?

When Donnie recounted the whole story about what happened while I was unconscious, I wanted to throw up. I knew this day would come when the Foot and the Kraang were defeated. I've just always imagined that I'd be helping out more in defeating the Foot or the Kraang. I've had dreams of giving Shredder his killing blow. I've also had dreams of seeing the Kraang being wiped out from my doing. That was my job. As the leader, I was the one that was supposed to defeat our enemies, save New York, and protect my brothers. I did neither of those things. I had failed.

If I weren't unconscious, Master Splinter would've still been alive. While I was unconscious, Donnie, Raph, and Mikey were having trouble fighting the Kraang and Foot all alone. Since I wasn't answering my T-phone, they were almost destroyed. Master Splinter sensed the danger that his sons were in and went to their rescue. Shredder was pleased to see Splinter reveal himself and took the opportunity to stab him in the chest with a dagger. This event leads to Raph chasing the Shredder up to the top of the EmpireState building. The rest was history.

After Splinter's funeral, things were turning around for the better. The only thing giving New York City grief was the Purple Dragons. It only took one of my brother's to take out a whole group of Purple Dragon these days.

"I don't see the point of doing these regular patrols these days Leo," Raph told me one night in front of the lair entrance when I ordered all my brothers to go on a patrol to look out for any trouble in New York. "Why don't you go out on your own and be useful? You should be able to handle whatever little crime is going on these days."

I opened my mouth to protest, but said nothing. Raph was right. There was no need to have these big patrols to fight crime. Heck, New York would probably be fine without the turtles any longer. Even the police officers seemed to handle the Purple Dragons on their own. The turtles weren't needed.

"Hey Leo?" Raph asked me with his hands to his hips staring at me with slight concern. "Are you alright? You kind of spaced out."

"Yeah," I replied blinking out of my thoughts. "I've decided not to go to Topside."

"You can still go out to Topside Leo, I just don't expect there to be any crime to stop. How about you be normal like the rest of us, and enjoy Topside?" Raph suggested. "All you think there is to do at Topside is fight bad guys, and even then you're not very good at fighting crime."

Right as those words slipped out of his mouth, Raph gasped in shock and placed one of his palms to his forehead. "Wait Leo! I didn't mean it like that. You're great at fighting crime!"

I shrugged at Raph trying to be understanding. Raph was only speaking the hard cold truth. My whole life had been about being the hero and stopping the bad guys. But when it counted the most, I failed. When people needed me to fight the villains, I was unconscious in the sewers while lives were in parole. In fact, Master Splinter died because of me. I failed at the one thing I was good at in life, fighting. Basically, I've failed at life.

I turned away to my bedroom not saying another word to Raph. Normally if I was upset or something was on my mind, I'd go over to the dojo and train. But after Splinter died, I didn't see the point in training. Training wasn't going to give me release, because fighting seemed useless to me. I didn't fight when it counted the most, so why should I keep fighting?

When I got to my room, I went over to my bed and grabbed the white pillow that was sitting on top of my neatly made bed. I hugged the pillow to my chest and laid against the bedroom wall deep in thought. I've been doing that for the past few weeks now, following Splinter's death. I've been pondering over what to do with my life now that my purpose was gone. Guilt was overwhelming me at the thought of my own father dying because of my failure to be there when my brothers needed me the most. I wasn't even around to avenge my father's death either. My brother's were doing all the fighting that I had trained to do all these years.

It was no secret that I worked the hardest when it had come to training. The thing that motivated me was defeating my opponent in battle to protect my brothers. But when it counted, I failed. I wasn't even the best fighter either. Raph was the strongest fighter, Donnie was the smartest fighter, and Mikey had the best natural raw fighting ability. There was nothing I could contribute. Who cares if I was the leader?

I've come to terms that the reason why I had become leader in the first place was because there was nothing else I could have contributed to the team. If someone else was the leader, they would've done just as good of a job, if not better. My brother's allowed me to be leader just so I wouldn't feel left out, so I could at least matter somewhat. But in hindsight, I was just a figure head.

Slowly, I put down the pillow and crawled over to my bedroom door to eavesdrop on a conversation between two of my brothers. I heard their voices and I could've sworn I heard my name being mentioned. The darkness of the bedroom heightened my hearing.

"Leo has just been as lively as a brick wall for the past weeks," Raph growled.

"He's probably still grieving over Sensei's death. Give him time." Donnie's voice replied.

"Some grieving he's been doing," Raph grumbled. "I haven't seen him shed a tear once."

What Raph had said was true. After seeing Master Splinter's dead corpse lying in the couch like that, I did everything in my power not to break down in front of my brothers. I wanted nothing more than to drop down to my knees and break down in sobs. But my brothers needed me. I've already let them down once for being weak. I'm not going to do it again. They already think I'm weak and useless. Being there to counsel them through Master Splinter's death made me feel temporarily useful. On the flip side though, there was no one there to comfort me. And I didn't want anyone pitying me though. I didn't deserve any pity. I had to fend for myself when it came to Splinter's death as punishment for not being there for my brothers.

"What has Leo been up to these days?" Raph asked Donnie. "All he's been doing is being shut up in his bedroom. I swear he's moping."

"He's probably reading. Taking up a new hobby might be a good way for him to cope with Sensei's death," Donnie replied hopefully.

I shook my head after hearing Donnie suggest that I had taken up a new hobby. Truthfully, I've been doing nothing. I've been feeling worthless, so as a result, nothing was worth doing. Not even sleeping. For the past few weeks I've been in my bedroom with the lights out thinking. Sometimes I've been meditating. Everything felt empty. The last thing I wanted to do lately was talk to my brothers. I wanted to be alone in my depressed thoughts for as long as possible. Being a burden to them was not an option. After discovering my uselessness to them, it'd be best if I didn't get in their way.

Sometimes I go a whole day without even leaving my bedroom, except to go use the bathroom. Mikey got concern when he saw that I wasn't even out training. I told him that I didn't need to train anymore. That training was pointless. There was nothing to come out of it.

Mikey told me that I used to love training, and demanded to know what had happened to change my mind. I lied to my little brother and told him I no longer felt any joy in training. But the truth behind this lie was that I missed training more than anything, and sometimes I've even longed to go back to train with my brothers. But something inside me told me that I didn't deserve to be happy. A failure like me should be miserable and doesn't deserve to find joy in the simplest of things.

"Leo has been useless around here, hasn't he?" Raph asked Donnie.

"How?" Donnie asked.

"He doesn't do anything. All he does is cope up in his bedroom, too busy being worthless. He's supposed to be the role model, but he's been acting like a baby. I swear he's trying put on a scene by acting like a complete child, and pouting in his room. It's annoying." Raph grumbled some more. "What is wrong with him?"

Instead of defending Leo, Donnie agreed with Raph, "I know what you mean Raph."

"He's done nothing as of late," Raph complained. "I've been the one leading all the training sessions that he doesn't even go to anymore. He hardly talks to us. When he does, he's bossing us around. He doesn't help around the house. All he is to us is dead weight."

"Raph…" Donnie began, but was cut off.

"I really do hate Leo sometimes," Raph finished quietly, but loud enough for me to hear.

My heart sunk when I heard the dreaded four letter h-word. It wasn't the obvious four letter h-word, although I did feel like I deserved to go to that horrible place. It was h-word that meant complete dislike. A word you wouldn't want any of your brother's to use in a sentence about you. It was the ultimate failure.

Raph had never said out loud that he had hated me. When he did, that would be the day where I've come to realize that I had completely let my brother down. My whole life had been centered around my brothers. My life would be ruined if any of them hated me. Now that one of them had admitted their hate towards me, what was the purpose of living?

After a few minutes of silence outside of my bedroom door, I slowly swung the bedroom door open and snuck out of the lair quietly with a knife in one hand.

The sounds of the New York City raindrops pattered over my head on top of me. It was a little comforting hearing the delicate raindrops. It seemed that Mother Nature decided to match my mood with the weather. Although, if my mood determined the weather. It would have been raining for weeks.

Running through the dark sewers was almost exhilarating, something I've never felt in so long. I was almost relieved running alone in the dark sewers. Part of me cursed at myself for almost being happy. I didn't deserve to be happy.

After a few minutes of running through the cold damp sewers, I hid myself in a nearby dark tunnel and sighed, leaning down against the solid surface. No one will find me here if I had anything to say about it. But I figured that my brothers couldn't care less if I had left the lair.

I stared at the sharp knife that glinted in the little light available and breathed in. The knife was mesmerizing. I pricked the tip of my finger on to the knife. A tiny cut issued itself on the tip of my finger. A small drop of blood from my finger fell to the cement floor. I couldn't have asked for a better weapon to take my life.

Gripping the knife tightly, I slashed one of wrists. A satisfying dark red cut had been carved into my wrist, drops of blood poured down my cut. More blood fell on to the cement floor this time. I smiled to myself at the sight of the punishment my wrist was being put through. Welcomed pain stung throughout my whole wrist. I gladly slashed the arm above the wrist multiple times. Drops of blood stained the cement floor. Even with my arm stinging, I couldn't care less about the pain in my worthless arm. I deserved the pain. Plus, the pain will be gone shortly.

Closing my eyes, I lowered the knife to my wrist again and sighed. Just a little deeper, I will hit a vein and end my life.

But before I could plunge the knife deep into my wrist to end my exsistence, a firm hand grabbed the knife from my grasp. Another hand grabbed a hold of the wrist that was holding the knife. Before I could realize what was going on, the heard the knife splash into the sewer waters. Someone must have chucked it in there on purpose, and there was no way of me getting the knife back.

I whined in protest and slumped against the wall. The person who took the knife away from me grabbed me into a tight a hug and choked out, "Leo."

I recognized that high pitch youthful voice instantly. "Mikey?"

Before I could say anything more, Mikey grabbed me from out of the tunnel and into a lighter part of the sewers. My little brother shoved me against the wall and looked at me dead in the eyes with tears streaming down his eyes. To say that it was a heartbreaking sight was an understatement. He was trembling and nearly sobbing to the point of breaking down, but he firmly kept be against the wall to keep me immobile.

"Leo! Are you crazy?! Why are you doing this?" Mikey cried out to me, throwing his arms around me in a strong hug.

The second he said that made me regret the cutting I was doing just earlier and the thoughts of suicide. I wrapped my arms around his plastron and sighed, letting his head rest against my shoulder. The blood on my arm stained the side of his plastron, but Mikey was too busy being in distress to even care.

"Were you planning on killing yourself?" Mikey whispered into my shoulder.

I didn't want to answer that question, but Mikey needed the blunt straightforward answer. So I mumbled, resting my chin on his shoulder, "yes."

"Why?"

"Because I am nothing. I'm a burden, a weakling, a failure, family hates me." I sighed trying to choke down a sob that was threatening deep inside me.

Mikey relaxed his hug and scooted back looking at me calmly. He calmed down from his recent crying, but tears still fell from his eyes. Even though he was no longer hugging me, he still had both his hand grabbing on to my arms.

"I figured something was wrong after Splinter's death," Mikey hiccupped but then looked at me even more seriously. "All those reasons you've give me are utter bull Leo. You are everything to this family. You're not a burden or a failure. You've usually been the strongest one in this family. And this family doesn't hate you. I certainly know I don't."

He grabbed me into another tight hug and whispered, "be happy again Leo."

"I don't deserve to be happy," I mumbled again over his shoulder. "It's my fault that Master's Splinter's dead. I was weak and unconscious, while I should've been fighting."

At that, Mikey shoved me against wall with brute force, and I stared at him in shock. My little brother looked at me in disbelief and anger. "The day Splinter died, you saved our lives Leo. All three of us. Shredder was about throw daggers at each one of us. You saw that, and tackled him right as threw one of the daggers at us. Both you and Shredder were knocked unconscious in the struggle. The Foot were trying to kill you. We took you and threw you into the sewers so they couldn't get to you. Shredder woke up quickly. You were a hero. You saved our lives, and in turn we defeated the villains that have been giving us grief for years."

It felt like daggers were being thrown at my heart at that moment. After hearing what Mikey was telling me, I realized I had gotten everything wrong. I did what I had strived to do, and that was to protect my brothers. But I was too ignorant and close-minded to see that. In turn, I had almost made the biggest mistake of my life and almost left my brothers.

I did something that I sworn I would never do since Splinter's death, and started sobbing. Tears poured freely down my cheeks, which hasn't been done in years. There were so many emotions flooding through me. There were tears of guilt, tears of sadness, tears of anger, and tears of fear. The most recent emotion that brought tears was relief.

"Yes finally!" Mikey exclaimed happily and tightened the hug. "Finally some emotion. Let it out Leo. You've been through a lot. I'm not thinking of you any less. Why would you think we'd ever hate you?"

"Raph said he hated me," I replied trembling on Mikey's shoulder.

"Raph doesn't mean what he's saying a lot of the time. He's said he's hated me before too. Plus I don't think he understands the depression you've been going through," Mikey replied.

Mikey let go of his hug on me and rolled around next to me leaning against the wall, almost mimicking my posture. He smiled at me brightly and told me, "It's my turn to be the strong one now. You've always been Mr. Perfect. The best fighter. The best leader, The best brother. The most clever. Shall I go on? No. Because now you need us Leo. For once, let us help you. You've been too busy helping us get through Splinter's death, now it's our turn."

I looked over at Mikey who was still smiling against the sewer walls. Without thinking, I blurted out, "you mean that?"

"Every word is the truth bro. You've saved our necks many times. Constantly beaten us in sparring, and was always there to comfort us. You had one bad day when you were knocked unconscious. So what?" Mikey replied vigorously. He leaned in to give me a quick kiss on the cheek before burying his head in my shoulder. "I love you Leo."