(sighs) Ugh, I'm completely drained. My body seems so heavy – it's unreal. I've never felt like this after doing that. I mean, come on… we're talking about me here. The girl who "gets around", the one who'll give it up in a minute if you look hot in your halter top. But, I think I'm through with that life. I feel as if a huge cinder block has just been removed from my heart. I look over at her with my heavy eye lids trying to hold themselves up and I see that she is breathing rather deeply. As am I, but – I'm starting to get a little worried. Her chest is moving up and down with great speed. So, I ask her…. "Spence, you okay?" She looks at me with tired eyes, as well, before answering my thoughtful question with a reply so wonderful for my ears to hear. "Yeah, Ash. I'm perfect." And let me say that, yes, indeed you are the perfect one here tonight. You were perfect before we did this, you were perfect during it and you're still so perfect, at this moment in time. I wonder if she feels exactly how I feel. Relieved, worried, hot, sweaty and just overall anxious to do it again. But, with this girl, I have to take it slower than all the other ones. I mean, she's new to all this, but – so am I! I've never felt like this for anyone before. I've never done this with anyone and actually meant it. So, technically… I'm a virgin at it, too! I'm just a more experienced virgin than she is! Okay, I'm way too tired to be thinking this heavily. I'm at the stage in my life where I'm still trying to figure myself out. She thinks that I have it all planned out… with the way I'm going to live my life. But, she has it all wrong. That's just my cover. See, I want her to think that I've got it all sorted out. I let her think like that so she can have something to rely on. Something to fall back on if something in her life goes all haywire and she doesn't know where to turn to. Luckily, I'll be there to catch her when she falls. I just hope that day never comes. I didn't want to bring her into my world, due to the fact of all the criticism that I have to deal with. I don't want her to feel the need to part with me just so she can get away from all those horrible comments that she will end up receiving. That was the hardest part for me because – I was all alone. I didn't have anyone to turn to and cry on their shoulder. That's why I was so "easy"… it was because I was so vulnerable and those other girls took full advantage of me. And worse, I let them! Her quiet sigh brings me back to reality as I lay there next to a perfect blonde haired blue – eyed girl with a sweaty complexion. I give her the quick "look – over" and then go back to seeing nothing but the inside of my eye lids. I hear her giggle a couple of times and as much as I try to open my eyes, I can't bring myself to do so. So, I lay there, trying to figure out if what I took from her was a piece of her innocence or a piece of her heart. I hope that it's a concoction of both, but – I'll have to wait until morning to see which one I was lucky enough to end up with.