I've always got crap about my name, Angel you're so lucky, so pretty, are you from heaven because your my angel. After 16 years it just gets old. Having someone actually not make a pun about my name would be amazing for once.

Yes my name is Angel, Angel Miller I am 16 years old and wish my life was less complicated then it is I would love a normal life to finally find love, to have best friends, to go out when I wanted and not worry about the consequences. Nope I've never fallen in love only because I know it wouldn't be allowed by my brother. When Mine and my brother Francisco parents were around it was so much better he was the brother every sister could ask for, yes a bit protective but listened to my every word he would be there when I needed him. I would tell him everything and yes even my boy problems. But Francisco got older and wanted to go out all the time with his delinquent friends and got in trouble way to much he even got his car taken away but it still didn't stop him from going out. It was late at night and I went to talk to him about a problem I was having with my homework and I saw him going out his window I tried to tell him just stay in and help me and go out another night he didn't listen he just told me that when I got older I would understand so I let him go and told him to be careful and I went back to my room. It started to get later and I was worried around 11 it started to really snow outside. In Idaho it was kind of early this time of year I looked outside to see it was really coming down I went back to the computer where I was IM'ing one of my best friends Serena telling her what was going on.

SERENALUV: is he back yet?

ANGEL_SIN: nope I'm getting worried S

SERENALUV: Don't worry too much Hun he should be back soon I heard the party was a drag and got stopped by the cops so they should make sure he is okay

ANGEL_SIN: Alright thanks S so are you excited for high school I know I am a new year with my best friend you better not ditch me jk

SERENALUV: like I could ditch my best friend your crazy I am hurt you would think such a sad thing he he but yes I am so excited, cute boys, they say the teachers are pretty nice, and also high school parties oh yeah

ANGEL_SIN: ha-ha oh yeah I can't wait for those too; I want to see what my brother is talking about.

SERENALUV: what do you mean A?

ANGEL_SIN: well he told me that I would understand why he keeps going out and why he doesn't just stay in.

SERENALUV: It must be something else or maybe he is in love who knows well I got to get off the evil step mom is telling me to get off muahahaha that's her evil laugh lol.

ANGEL_SIN. Ha-ha your funny alright then I'll see you tomorrow S have a goodnight sweet dreams of your step mom muahahahaha.

SERENALUV: great now I'm going to have nightmares thanks a lot a miss you see you tomorrow night muah.

SERENALUV LOVE HAS LOGGED OUT

I was sitting there for a second when the phone rang I heard my mom walk to the phone in the hall way and heard yes she is speaking, I picked up my phone line and tried to be as quiet as I can be "Mrs. Miller can you please come down to the station to pick up your son Francisco Miller." "Yes sir I will be right there." I put the phone down quietly and heard a knock on my door "Angel sweetie me and your father will be back will you be okay?" She asked me "can't I come?" I asked her kind of pleading "no Sweetie stay here we will be back quick." "Okay." I said disappointed only because I was worried was he okay did something bad happen was he going to go to jail. Great my brother in jail that's all he needed he had a scholarship to go to Columbia next year I can only imagine how dad will react if he loses that. I waited there at the house at my computer hoping Serena would sneak back on the computer so we can talk some more but she didn't. I was getting worried the station was only 10 min away the time past so slowly on the clock it felt like forever. Three hours later I heard a knock at the door then I thought why would my parents knock they had there keys, I looked out the window and saw a cop car there waiting. Great we're they held up at the station did they need me too I thought I walked downstairs and then thought worse I've seen the movies where the police would come down to the houses and say something terrible has happened to the parents and they would drop down and cry. I opened the door and the police were standing there with an "oh god I feel bad for you face" then I just babbled out questions "what's going on? Where are my parents? Is my brother okay? I didn't want to hear it I didn't want to hear talking I just ran up to my room and locked the door. The rest of the morning was kind of a blur.

That night always plays in my head over and over again, what could I have done differently? Why couldn't I just tell my brother to stay that I really needed him? Everything was my fault I always thought and my brother always makes sure I know that. He is so much different now less friendly very abusive he is my legal guardian and he is supposed to protect me instead he beats me. He works pretty much all the time, he drinks until he passes out, and worst of all he takes all his anger out on me. At first I thought it was normal, but after two years of it I knew it was him just acting out but I wish he would do it some other way, actually I wouldn't even mind if he did drugs to do it as much as it kills me to say that, it kills me more when he beats the crap out of me at times. So now you see why I could never fall in love I'm pretty sure that is forbidden just like everything else I do.

Tomorrow was my first day of Junior Year and I was happy to get out of the house for a few hours, but I was nervous at the same time, I'm sure it was going to be just like last year with Serena my best friend she always thought I was ditching her all summer, but how was I supposed to tell her that I couldn't go out because if I did my brother would beat me so hard I wouldn't be able to move the next day. She would seriously tell someone else and I would be taken away from him and from the only family I had left both our grandparents have passed from our mothers side we loved them dearly. And from our father's side they really didn't care about us at all. Our aunts and uncles also didn't care or so we thought we couldn't find any of them and neither of them found us. So I know I couldn't tell her anything I really did try to go out with her one night but all she wanted to do was party I had come back to the house in the morning trying to jump in the shower because my hair smelled like smoke because Serena can be a chain smoker when she drinks so on the way home she always smokes cigarette after cigarette, I was getting my clothes together to jump in when my brother past by me in the hall "what is that smell?" he asked and turned around towards me, I didn't want to lie to him so I told him the truth that Serena was smoking on our way to dropping me off and I felt a heavy hand right across my face I fell to the ground and dropped all my clothes "I swear Francisco it wasn't me." A kick to the ribs my breath was taken from me "DON'T YOU LIE TO ME ANGEL." I caught my breath and was just about to talk when we heard the doorbell "Stay there and don't say a word." He walked downstairs to the door "hey Francisco is Angel here I left my lighter in her purse." "Your lighter you smoke Serena?" "Oh yeah takes the stress off especially with the wicked step mother I have Angel has been telling me to quit and I'm trying but I can't kick it just yet hah." "Oh alright ill grab her for you." He came upstairs and walked past me didn't even say anything. I got up and brushed myself off and ran downstairs "hey S" I said as normal as I could. "Hey Angel do you have my lighter I'm pretty sure I left it in your purse, and wow what happened to your cheek it's all red." "Ha oh you know clumsy me I was getting in the shower when I heard the doorbell I turned around to come get it but I smacked right into the door." I told her as normal as I would tell her every other time I would have something on my face that could be seen. "Oh ouch are you okay, you should be careful put some ice on it you don't want people thinking you get beat or anything." "Ha-ha very funny alright then." I grabbed my purse from under the table and reached in there "here you go, You Know." "I know I know I should quit soon real soon promise see you later A." I closed the door and let out a huge breath. After that I just didn't want to deal with my brother anymore so I stayed in and Serena didn't like that at all she would always come around and ask to go out I would tell her I couldn't, and come up with some stupid excuse and that was that she would get pisst and stomp off.

I was laying down on my bed thinking about tomorrow when I heard a loud crash outside, I really didn't want to go out there and see but then Francisco had called me out there, he didn't sound mean just distraught, I walked out to see him stuck under our book shelve in the hallway "Francisco!" I ran to him and pulled with all my might on the book shelve it lifted up a bit and he scooted out "are you okay?" I asked him and with that he slapped me hard across the face. "What, what did I do?" "I stepped on one of your stupid needles your always using and ran right into the book shelve." "I'm So Sorry, are you okay though?" He looked shocked then with a sad face he told me to go to bed and to put ice on my face so it wouldn't be red in the morning. My Skin burned with anger how could he care and be so evil at the same time. I went to my room and laid on my bed Screw the ice I've been through this so many times to realize that ice isn't going to help the cut on the side of my lip and it will probably still be red tomorrow.

I am sorry to say Angel but your parents have passed away in a terrible car crash "and my brother?" I asked well he is in intensive care. It was a miracle that he even survived

he was thrown from the car about 30 feet away he was found next to the other car in the accident next to a younger boy around your age and a mother "angel,

angel are you okay is there anyone we can call." "NO!" I woke up in a sweat it's always the same dream well not a dream more like the same nightmare.