Cats and Dogs and Little Kisses
By Sage
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
I stalked down the street, determinedly ignoring the rain that was pouring down all around me. A soaked lock fell into my eyes, but I feared what I might do if I unclenched my fists, so I let it be. The sound of my violent footsteps echoed in the deserted street as they splashed through the many puddles that had formed. The rain had only started 5 minutes earlier...just as I stepped out of the ice-cream store and already the world was nothing but running water. Of course I had taken up refuge under an overhang as soon as the first raindrop had fallen. I thought I was safe. Little did I know the damned owner of the mini-canapy hadn't bothered to do matinence for the last four years. It quickly became apparant to me however, when the fuckin' thing broke and more than a bucketful of water cascaded down around me.
Glancing down at the gift in my hand and the cast of my wrist, I grimaced. The wrapping paper was slowly falling about, the water making it mushy and runny. The same went for the cast. I would have to get it redone at the hospital. I futilely tried to shake out the gift, and than watched at the paper crumbled and fell in a dirty ball onto the ground. And there goes Aya's gift. At least the present was safe in it's plastic container. Suddenly wary, I looked around nervously, clutching the gift tightly to my chest. I shouldn't have tempted fate by thinking that the gift was safe, now something was definitely going to happen.
After I few tense moments, I relaxed. Maybe I was actually going to catch a break today. God knows I deserved one. And than...
"Hello Kitty-cat." A voice echoed in my head.
Sighing, I allowed my head to drop forward as I waited for Schuldich to show himself. This was definitely not my day.
The morning hadn't been all that bad. I mean, I wasn't working the morning shift, so I was able to stay up late the night before and watch the Enland vs. Brazil game... Okay, so I would have watched it whether or not I had the morning shift, but at least now I didn't have to feel guiltly about it. Mostly didn't have to worry about Aya's evil glare. I swear, he should patent that; he would get millions! I came downstairs and found the kitchen empty. They hadn't kept any breakfast for me, but I was used to that. I mean, we're assassins... don't usually save breakfast for eachother you know?
I was able to take a shower rather successfully. Sure, the water had gone cold halfway through, but with three other guys in the house it wasn't too unusual. I only tripped twice as I struggled through my room to find some clothes to dress in, and I didn't even stop on any of my mangas that were littered around in the random places that I had dropped them.
It had started when I went back downstairs to make some french toast. (I know how to make it now!!! Omi had taught me two weeks ago, and while I still made more black toast than french toast, I was getting better) How was I suppose to know that Youji had come home really, really late the night before and had undressed as he came in? Leaving all his clothes in a trail to him room. Including his somewhat more substantial shoes. (Christ, how do they walk on those? They're like 4 inches tall!) I'm clumsy as it is, so it should be no surprise to you that I tripped over one of those stray shoes. What made it so upseting was that I continued to stumble to the stairs and was unable to catch myself on the railing. Shit, but it hurt.
Okay, as I just said, I'm definitely clumsy. I would never be one of those people who carry the casket at a funeral cause I'd likely trip and send the body rolling back down the hill, and the family would likely not like that. But falling down the stairs is not something I've ever done before. Well, there's always a first for something, mostly for me.
I laid on the floor for about five minutes, shocked at how much that ten foot fall had hurt. Christ, I've been shot and managed to still go through with a kill; and now here I am, just fallen down ten steps, and unable to move because my freakin back had been realigned.
Youji, who also wasn't working this morning, finally decided to investigate the loud crash. Later he told me that he had just assumed it was me knocking something over again, (what a way to be consistant .) but when I hadn't called out my normal reassurances, he decided to come investigate. What a guy! At this moment I loved him almost as much as I loved Aya.
He reached over to help me up, a small grin fighting for dominance on his face. I scowled at him at it look three times for our hands to connect since he was laughing so hard and so his hand wasn't steady. We finally locked hands and he started to pull me up. Than I screamed.
Hey, I had a good reason! It felt like my hand was being torn off of my arm, and I could feel the bones grinding against each other in my wrist. Apparantly when I had been (gracefully, really!) rolling down the stairs, my wrist had gotten caught between one of the spokes of the railing and had snapped. I just hadn't noticed it yet because I was in to much shock from falling down. (Or so the doctor said) But believe me, now I noticed! It's was like once my mind was aware of the wound, the nerves started to realized there was something wrong, and were now sending many, many pain messages to my brain.
On the upside, I scared the crap outta Youji. H release me immediatley when I screamed and had falled back onto the stairs, his eyes wide with surprise. Omi and Aya also came racing from the flower shop, leaving a horde of girls clammering in worry about the shriek of pain. Aya immediatley took in the situation, and with a surprisingly gentle touch, he took my wrist in my hand and inspected it.
"It's broken." he announced in his deadpan voice.
"Hontou ni?" I asked, aware my voice sounded childish and plaintitive.
"Hai." He said, looked up at me. The faintist smile appeared on his face.
If I wasn't still in a bunch of pain, I might have squealed. Okay, so my pride also played a big factor. I wasn't going to make such a girly noise in front of the rest of them. But most importantly Aya smiled at me. So it was a tiny ass little grin, probably in amusement that was directed towards the way I was acting, but it was still a smile, and it was still directed at me. Definitely cheered me up.
It died off rather quickly when I heard what else Aya had to say.
"Since you snapped it, it's proably going to have to be realligned."
My joyful thoughts came to a rather abrupt standstill as I looked in shock at him. That was not something I wanted to hear. I'd gotten my shoulder dislocated once in a soccer game, and they had to repop it in. That was painful enough, I couldn't even begin to imagine how much it would hurt to replace a broken wrist.
As it turned out, a lot!! Waay waaaay lot. And of course, I had like 3 hours to dwell on it as we sat in the waiting room, watching others with sprains go ahead of us. Youji tried to butter up the nurse to let me in before these other people who obviously weren't as injured, but she just dully told us that we would be called in due time. When the doctor finally saw Youji and me (he said he would rather go to the hospital with me than cover one of the other two's shift) he asked why in the world we had not been seen yet. I managed to bite back a retort, and instead just asked that he got it over with. Two other doctors had to come in to hold me down to make sure I wouldn't jerk when they realligned my wrist. It's not like I would do it on purpsoe, the doctor explained, but the pain much make you do it before you think about it. Just what you'd want to hear, huh? As soon had the doctor as yank it around three times without success, he mused he should probably have given me a painkiller. I wondered what would happen if I punched him right than.
"Aya's not going to like that." Youji muttered.
"What?" I managed to squeak out; it sounded like he had said something about Aya, but than he just gave me an innocent look and smiled peacefully at me. I wanted to scowl at him, but instead stuck with scowling at the doctor. He deserved my wraith much more.
We were finally able to get out of there an hour later, after picking up the dozens of medications that the doctor decided I would need. I scowled at the painkillers that dangled in Youji's hand. I dislike painkillers, they always managed to knock me out, and I hate being that vulnerable. It probably comes from being an assassin. All of us can wake up in a moments second if necessary, though in Youji's case, only the extremely urgent, i.e. a fire, counts as necessary.
Youji put me almost immediately to bed when we got home, assuring me that one of the other two would catch my shift. I slept restlessly for 5 hours, and when I woke up it felt like there was gum between my lids. I decided to forgo another shower and instead wondered downstairs, cautiously watching my steps. There was a note for me telling me to stay in the house and rest. I obeyed for like ten minutes before I snuck out the backdoor. It's not that I wanted to disobey them, it's just that Aya's birthday way tomorrow, and now that I couldn't drive my motorcycle to the store, I needed to go early. Maybe if I caught the slightest bit of luck, I would get back before the other three did.
Looking up at the gray sky and waiting for Schuldich to come out, I sighed. That slight bit of luck was still eluding me. I didn't even bother to run, there was no way I would get away from him in the state that I was in. Why did this always have to happen to me? Why Schuldich? Why rain? Why now?
"Bad day Kitty-cat?"
And why Kitty-cat? It's starting to make me really regret making my code name Siberian. I scowled in the direction that I guessed Shuldich was in.
"Ummm, to you're left."
Not changing my expression, I looked over to the left, spotting the familiar red hair. Normally I love red hair. (^_^) But now I just wanted to tear it off, with the scalp, cut it into tiny pieces, blend it in a blender and than stuff it down the owners throat with a bucket full of tabasco sauce.
Shuldich raised in eyebrows in slight surprise. He stepped further out into the street and gazed at me with a mixture of surprise and amusement.
"Apparently Kitty-cat has some sharp claws." He said aloud.
"Is there any way you'd just go away?" I asked mournfully.
"Actually, my running into you was just an accident, I'm out buying a present for Nagi."
I stared at him in shock. He was out buying a present for Nagi? Since when did Schwarz buy presents for each other.
"Isn't that a gift for one of you're little friends? Why are we not allowed to?" Schuldich smiled condencensingly at me.
"It just doesn't fit you're image." I stated
"Well, I don't have time to argue over what my image should be, his parties in 1 hour and if I'm late Farfello will be mad, so Ja Ne!" Shuldich waved jaintily and started to walk by me. I meanwhile was staring forward in momentary shock.
He suddenly paused as he was walking by and took a step back.
"Just because I know Brad will be pissed at me if he finds out I did nothing, I have to do this. I do apologize." Schuldich smiled, raised a fist, and than smashed it across my right check.
By the time I was able to come back to myself, he was gone and the left side of my pants were a shade darker than the rest of it. I didn't even think any clothes I wearing could get anymore wet.
I scowled darkly and got to my feet, heading back towards home. It was way after the time that Aya, Youji and Omi would be home, and I knew I was going to get more than just a death glare. With a deep sigh, I lifted Aya's desicrated present and tredged towards home.
Sure enough, Aya aimed his glare of death back at me, mostly when he saw the condition of my cast. This time he insisted on taking me, saying something about dumb ass doctors not doing what they should. His glare darkened even more when I started to ask what he was talking about, and I decided it was pertinent to shut my mouth. Quickly. The nice thing was that with Aya there, I got in, taken care of and gone in like 20 mins. However, the doctor gave me a stern lecture the entire time that he was placing a new cast on me. He kept using all these long confusing medical terms and I spent the whole time trying to comprehend what in the world he was trying to tell me.
Omi finally stopped fussing over me when it was time to go to bed, and after ten minutes, I snuck out of my room to go downstairs. My arm hurt like the dickens, and I wanted to get a painkiller, but I had absolutely refused to take it in front of the rest of them. My pride had already taken a big enough beating today; I needed to perserve as much of it as I could!
I snuck into the kitchen and was about to grab a glass when a heavy hand fell on my shoulder.
"AHHHH-" My startled yip was cut off abruptly by the pale hand that wrapped around my mouth. I was forcefully turned and found myself staring into the hard eyes of Aya, who raised a delicate eyebrow at my sheepish look.
"Go sit on the couch." he commanded before turning away and grabbing a glass of his own. He obviously expected to be obeyed and it seemed to be in my insterest to obey him. I settled on the couch and waited for him to come back. When he reappeared, he paused in the doorway and starred at me for the longest time. I was starting to squirm when he suddenly headed towards me, holding out two pills and a big glass of water.
"Take them." He commanded.
I obeyed, grateful that he was telling me to take them and I didn't have to ask for them. It was hard enough taking this zombie pills as it was, let alone asking for them. As soon as I was done, he took the glass out of my hand and placed how own on my chin. Forcing my face up, he gazed at me. Perplexed, I gazed back. Not that this was a bad position to be in mind you. Aya was touching me, and volunatrily, and if it weren't for the drugged exhaustion that I felt creeping up on my, I would be in high heaven.
Aya suddenly pulled me up, wrapped his arms around me, and kissed me. I blinked at his closed eyes in shock for a few seconds, before deciding to grab the chance and enjoy this while I could. I deepened the kiss slightly, and was ecstatic when he allowed me too. When we finally broke apart, I was panting softly. Aya, of course, was breathing absolutely fine.
"If you ever disobey my orders to stay inside while you're hurt again, I'll kill you." Aya stated.
I was suddenly very very happy I decided to omit my meeting with Schuldich from my earlier explanation.
Aya sat down and pulled my head into his lap, waiting for me to adust myself on the couch before starting to stroke my hair.
"My Ken." He whispered.
It looked like this day wasn't so bad after all. ^_^
~Owari~
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yes, yes, corny ending. stopped it rather ubruptly because was gonna leave in like 10 mins. So you like? or really horrible? (sadly, i suspect the later ^_^) My second Weiss Kruez fanfic, and I admit I like it better than most my other fics. I think that's becuase it's in first person, and it's much easier to write that way....
By Sage
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
I stalked down the street, determinedly ignoring the rain that was pouring down all around me. A soaked lock fell into my eyes, but I feared what I might do if I unclenched my fists, so I let it be. The sound of my violent footsteps echoed in the deserted street as they splashed through the many puddles that had formed. The rain had only started 5 minutes earlier...just as I stepped out of the ice-cream store and already the world was nothing but running water. Of course I had taken up refuge under an overhang as soon as the first raindrop had fallen. I thought I was safe. Little did I know the damned owner of the mini-canapy hadn't bothered to do matinence for the last four years. It quickly became apparant to me however, when the fuckin' thing broke and more than a bucketful of water cascaded down around me.
Glancing down at the gift in my hand and the cast of my wrist, I grimaced. The wrapping paper was slowly falling about, the water making it mushy and runny. The same went for the cast. I would have to get it redone at the hospital. I futilely tried to shake out the gift, and than watched at the paper crumbled and fell in a dirty ball onto the ground. And there goes Aya's gift. At least the present was safe in it's plastic container. Suddenly wary, I looked around nervously, clutching the gift tightly to my chest. I shouldn't have tempted fate by thinking that the gift was safe, now something was definitely going to happen.
After I few tense moments, I relaxed. Maybe I was actually going to catch a break today. God knows I deserved one. And than...
"Hello Kitty-cat." A voice echoed in my head.
Sighing, I allowed my head to drop forward as I waited for Schuldich to show himself. This was definitely not my day.
The morning hadn't been all that bad. I mean, I wasn't working the morning shift, so I was able to stay up late the night before and watch the Enland vs. Brazil game... Okay, so I would have watched it whether or not I had the morning shift, but at least now I didn't have to feel guiltly about it. Mostly didn't have to worry about Aya's evil glare. I swear, he should patent that; he would get millions! I came downstairs and found the kitchen empty. They hadn't kept any breakfast for me, but I was used to that. I mean, we're assassins... don't usually save breakfast for eachother you know?
I was able to take a shower rather successfully. Sure, the water had gone cold halfway through, but with three other guys in the house it wasn't too unusual. I only tripped twice as I struggled through my room to find some clothes to dress in, and I didn't even stop on any of my mangas that were littered around in the random places that I had dropped them.
It had started when I went back downstairs to make some french toast. (I know how to make it now!!! Omi had taught me two weeks ago, and while I still made more black toast than french toast, I was getting better) How was I suppose to know that Youji had come home really, really late the night before and had undressed as he came in? Leaving all his clothes in a trail to him room. Including his somewhat more substantial shoes. (Christ, how do they walk on those? They're like 4 inches tall!) I'm clumsy as it is, so it should be no surprise to you that I tripped over one of those stray shoes. What made it so upseting was that I continued to stumble to the stairs and was unable to catch myself on the railing. Shit, but it hurt.
Okay, as I just said, I'm definitely clumsy. I would never be one of those people who carry the casket at a funeral cause I'd likely trip and send the body rolling back down the hill, and the family would likely not like that. But falling down the stairs is not something I've ever done before. Well, there's always a first for something, mostly for me.
I laid on the floor for about five minutes, shocked at how much that ten foot fall had hurt. Christ, I've been shot and managed to still go through with a kill; and now here I am, just fallen down ten steps, and unable to move because my freakin back had been realigned.
Youji, who also wasn't working this morning, finally decided to investigate the loud crash. Later he told me that he had just assumed it was me knocking something over again, (what a way to be consistant .) but when I hadn't called out my normal reassurances, he decided to come investigate. What a guy! At this moment I loved him almost as much as I loved Aya.
He reached over to help me up, a small grin fighting for dominance on his face. I scowled at him at it look three times for our hands to connect since he was laughing so hard and so his hand wasn't steady. We finally locked hands and he started to pull me up. Than I screamed.
Hey, I had a good reason! It felt like my hand was being torn off of my arm, and I could feel the bones grinding against each other in my wrist. Apparantly when I had been (gracefully, really!) rolling down the stairs, my wrist had gotten caught between one of the spokes of the railing and had snapped. I just hadn't noticed it yet because I was in to much shock from falling down. (Or so the doctor said) But believe me, now I noticed! It's was like once my mind was aware of the wound, the nerves started to realized there was something wrong, and were now sending many, many pain messages to my brain.
On the upside, I scared the crap outta Youji. H release me immediatley when I screamed and had falled back onto the stairs, his eyes wide with surprise. Omi and Aya also came racing from the flower shop, leaving a horde of girls clammering in worry about the shriek of pain. Aya immediatley took in the situation, and with a surprisingly gentle touch, he took my wrist in my hand and inspected it.
"It's broken." he announced in his deadpan voice.
"Hontou ni?" I asked, aware my voice sounded childish and plaintitive.
"Hai." He said, looked up at me. The faintist smile appeared on his face.
If I wasn't still in a bunch of pain, I might have squealed. Okay, so my pride also played a big factor. I wasn't going to make such a girly noise in front of the rest of them. But most importantly Aya smiled at me. So it was a tiny ass little grin, probably in amusement that was directed towards the way I was acting, but it was still a smile, and it was still directed at me. Definitely cheered me up.
It died off rather quickly when I heard what else Aya had to say.
"Since you snapped it, it's proably going to have to be realligned."
My joyful thoughts came to a rather abrupt standstill as I looked in shock at him. That was not something I wanted to hear. I'd gotten my shoulder dislocated once in a soccer game, and they had to repop it in. That was painful enough, I couldn't even begin to imagine how much it would hurt to replace a broken wrist.
As it turned out, a lot!! Waay waaaay lot. And of course, I had like 3 hours to dwell on it as we sat in the waiting room, watching others with sprains go ahead of us. Youji tried to butter up the nurse to let me in before these other people who obviously weren't as injured, but she just dully told us that we would be called in due time. When the doctor finally saw Youji and me (he said he would rather go to the hospital with me than cover one of the other two's shift) he asked why in the world we had not been seen yet. I managed to bite back a retort, and instead just asked that he got it over with. Two other doctors had to come in to hold me down to make sure I wouldn't jerk when they realligned my wrist. It's not like I would do it on purpsoe, the doctor explained, but the pain much make you do it before you think about it. Just what you'd want to hear, huh? As soon had the doctor as yank it around three times without success, he mused he should probably have given me a painkiller. I wondered what would happen if I punched him right than.
"Aya's not going to like that." Youji muttered.
"What?" I managed to squeak out; it sounded like he had said something about Aya, but than he just gave me an innocent look and smiled peacefully at me. I wanted to scowl at him, but instead stuck with scowling at the doctor. He deserved my wraith much more.
We were finally able to get out of there an hour later, after picking up the dozens of medications that the doctor decided I would need. I scowled at the painkillers that dangled in Youji's hand. I dislike painkillers, they always managed to knock me out, and I hate being that vulnerable. It probably comes from being an assassin. All of us can wake up in a moments second if necessary, though in Youji's case, only the extremely urgent, i.e. a fire, counts as necessary.
Youji put me almost immediately to bed when we got home, assuring me that one of the other two would catch my shift. I slept restlessly for 5 hours, and when I woke up it felt like there was gum between my lids. I decided to forgo another shower and instead wondered downstairs, cautiously watching my steps. There was a note for me telling me to stay in the house and rest. I obeyed for like ten minutes before I snuck out the backdoor. It's not that I wanted to disobey them, it's just that Aya's birthday way tomorrow, and now that I couldn't drive my motorcycle to the store, I needed to go early. Maybe if I caught the slightest bit of luck, I would get back before the other three did.
Looking up at the gray sky and waiting for Schuldich to come out, I sighed. That slight bit of luck was still eluding me. I didn't even bother to run, there was no way I would get away from him in the state that I was in. Why did this always have to happen to me? Why Schuldich? Why rain? Why now?
"Bad day Kitty-cat?"
And why Kitty-cat? It's starting to make me really regret making my code name Siberian. I scowled in the direction that I guessed Shuldich was in.
"Ummm, to you're left."
Not changing my expression, I looked over to the left, spotting the familiar red hair. Normally I love red hair. (^_^) But now I just wanted to tear it off, with the scalp, cut it into tiny pieces, blend it in a blender and than stuff it down the owners throat with a bucket full of tabasco sauce.
Shuldich raised in eyebrows in slight surprise. He stepped further out into the street and gazed at me with a mixture of surprise and amusement.
"Apparently Kitty-cat has some sharp claws." He said aloud.
"Is there any way you'd just go away?" I asked mournfully.
"Actually, my running into you was just an accident, I'm out buying a present for Nagi."
I stared at him in shock. He was out buying a present for Nagi? Since when did Schwarz buy presents for each other.
"Isn't that a gift for one of you're little friends? Why are we not allowed to?" Schuldich smiled condencensingly at me.
"It just doesn't fit you're image." I stated
"Well, I don't have time to argue over what my image should be, his parties in 1 hour and if I'm late Farfello will be mad, so Ja Ne!" Shuldich waved jaintily and started to walk by me. I meanwhile was staring forward in momentary shock.
He suddenly paused as he was walking by and took a step back.
"Just because I know Brad will be pissed at me if he finds out I did nothing, I have to do this. I do apologize." Schuldich smiled, raised a fist, and than smashed it across my right check.
By the time I was able to come back to myself, he was gone and the left side of my pants were a shade darker than the rest of it. I didn't even think any clothes I wearing could get anymore wet.
I scowled darkly and got to my feet, heading back towards home. It was way after the time that Aya, Youji and Omi would be home, and I knew I was going to get more than just a death glare. With a deep sigh, I lifted Aya's desicrated present and tredged towards home.
Sure enough, Aya aimed his glare of death back at me, mostly when he saw the condition of my cast. This time he insisted on taking me, saying something about dumb ass doctors not doing what they should. His glare darkened even more when I started to ask what he was talking about, and I decided it was pertinent to shut my mouth. Quickly. The nice thing was that with Aya there, I got in, taken care of and gone in like 20 mins. However, the doctor gave me a stern lecture the entire time that he was placing a new cast on me. He kept using all these long confusing medical terms and I spent the whole time trying to comprehend what in the world he was trying to tell me.
Omi finally stopped fussing over me when it was time to go to bed, and after ten minutes, I snuck out of my room to go downstairs. My arm hurt like the dickens, and I wanted to get a painkiller, but I had absolutely refused to take it in front of the rest of them. My pride had already taken a big enough beating today; I needed to perserve as much of it as I could!
I snuck into the kitchen and was about to grab a glass when a heavy hand fell on my shoulder.
"AHHHH-" My startled yip was cut off abruptly by the pale hand that wrapped around my mouth. I was forcefully turned and found myself staring into the hard eyes of Aya, who raised a delicate eyebrow at my sheepish look.
"Go sit on the couch." he commanded before turning away and grabbing a glass of his own. He obviously expected to be obeyed and it seemed to be in my insterest to obey him. I settled on the couch and waited for him to come back. When he reappeared, he paused in the doorway and starred at me for the longest time. I was starting to squirm when he suddenly headed towards me, holding out two pills and a big glass of water.
"Take them." He commanded.
I obeyed, grateful that he was telling me to take them and I didn't have to ask for them. It was hard enough taking this zombie pills as it was, let alone asking for them. As soon as I was done, he took the glass out of my hand and placed how own on my chin. Forcing my face up, he gazed at me. Perplexed, I gazed back. Not that this was a bad position to be in mind you. Aya was touching me, and volunatrily, and if it weren't for the drugged exhaustion that I felt creeping up on my, I would be in high heaven.
Aya suddenly pulled me up, wrapped his arms around me, and kissed me. I blinked at his closed eyes in shock for a few seconds, before deciding to grab the chance and enjoy this while I could. I deepened the kiss slightly, and was ecstatic when he allowed me too. When we finally broke apart, I was panting softly. Aya, of course, was breathing absolutely fine.
"If you ever disobey my orders to stay inside while you're hurt again, I'll kill you." Aya stated.
I was suddenly very very happy I decided to omit my meeting with Schuldich from my earlier explanation.
Aya sat down and pulled my head into his lap, waiting for me to adust myself on the couch before starting to stroke my hair.
"My Ken." He whispered.
It looked like this day wasn't so bad after all. ^_^
~Owari~
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yes, yes, corny ending. stopped it rather ubruptly because was gonna leave in like 10 mins. So you like? or really horrible? (sadly, i suspect the later ^_^) My second Weiss Kruez fanfic, and I admit I like it better than most my other fics. I think that's becuase it's in first person, and it's much easier to write that way....