Disclaimer: I'm not sure if this needs one, but I'll put it in anyways. I am not male or a sibling, so I am therefore not the Brothers Grimm, and I own nothing.
Preamble
Of course, everyone is familiar with the story of Snow White, the nice little princess who grew to be so beautiful that her stepmother, the evil Queen of the land, wanted her dead. The Queen then hires a man to kill her in the woods, but apparently the man is filled with compassion and sets her free to romp in the woods alone.
Oh, joy!
She then reaches the tiny cottage of, unbeknownst to her, seven little midget men who befriend her and let her live in the cottage with them, vowing to protect her from the evil Queen. Well, then she eats the poisoned apple, falls down stone dead, and all the pint-sized "dwarfs", call them what you will, are mourning her death. Then a handsome prince comes, decides to kiss this dead lady, and she marvelously wakes up! Everyone is happy, the end.
Yes. Well, I can tell you that that particular version of the story is completely false. Not a word of it is true, well except for some parts, which I shall describe later. I guess it is my job, me being the writer and all, to tell you the true story of Snow White.
So I guess I should start at the beginning, where most decipherable stories start.
And, bowing to tradition and pressure from my mother, who is right now reading this very account as I pen it on the window ledge, I suppose I should start where most of these ridiculously flawed fairy tales start.
I resume.
Once Upon A Time…