Learning to dance
Summary: The Doctor looks back on his relationship with Reinette, and on how he feels about Rose.
Disclaimer: Doctor Who doesn't belong to me.
"There comes a time, Time Lord, when every lonely little boy must learn how to dance"
She took my hand and led me to a room with a high ceiling and glass chandeliers. It was the ballroom, obviously. Empty and cold, but with her there, it felt welcoming. I look at her and she smiles expectantly as the music starts. I frown at her, because the room, as grand as it is, is completely empty. She reads me like a book, of course, and smiles again. It shines throughout the room and straight through me. My hearts beat madly and I gulp. Why should she make me feel like this? I notice how the corners of her eyes crinkle and she opens her mouth to speak. "The ball itself is not for a few hours," she explains. "First, I want to teach you to dance".
I swallowed again. Nerves tingling. How could my nerves be tingling? I'd never been nervous before in my life. And it was this woman-this amazingly beautiful, clever woman, who had brought it out in me. "I know how already," I say.
She nodded, still smiling. "I know that, Time Lord. But you don't know how to dance, as I mean it".
What does she mean by that? I remembered in London, when Rose and I used dance as a metaphor for…well, sex. But she couldn't mean that, could she? No, that's ridiculous, Doctor. Get a grip.
She took my hand in hers, and put her other on my waist. We began to dance around the room. Not a particular dance, just a dance. Somehow, we knew all the steps.
I watched her dancing with me and she reminded me irresistibly of Rose. Funny, Reinette was a French aristocrat, and Rose was a 21st century girl from the Powell Estate. And yet they have so much in common. I couldn't help but notice it as I looked through her mind. It was strange. I had met this woman only four times, and yet I cared about her almost as much as I did for Rose. Maybe that was why, they reminded me so much of each other.
And yet, I cared about them in such different ways. Maybe it was because Reneitte had touched me in a way that no one else ever had. Ever could. I didn't know exactly what she saw in my head, but it was important. It was a part of me, deep down that Rose really could never hope to see.
And Rose…
I loved Rose. No matter how hard I tried not to, I did. In the way I loved Reinette, and in ways that I didn't. But I had to stop myself. I couldn't allow myself to feel so strongly for her. Because one day I'd have to let her go. The way I did on satellite five. The way I'd one day have to leave her on earth. And nothing could get in the way of that. It was better that way.
Reinette twisted under my arm, smiling still. There was something in that smile. And then I realised. She knew. She knew exactly what I felt for Rose. And this was her way of showing me. Since satellite five, and even more so since meeting Sarah Jane again I'd spent so much time trying to stop loving Rose, I'd forgotten how completely. And it took Reinette to remind me how.
To show me how to dance again.
And now, so much time has passed. It was so long ago and it's still as clear as ever in my mind. I remember since then, what Rose and I have been through together. Every touch, every hug, every adventure. Reinette may be dead, but she still changed me. With just a dance, she let me let myself love again.
I cared for them both, the famous, talented kings' mistress, and the wild child from London. They both touched me, both got under my skin.
Because Reinette taught me how to dance.
And Rose? Rose taught me how to fly.
This is just some random drabble I threw together. Hope you like.
I wrote this basicaly because I see a lot of 10Rose stories which claim that he didn't really love Reinette. I don't believe that. I thik he loved her, and part of him always will. But I like to think that it's more in the way you love a dead lover. When you move on, you will always love them, but you still love someone else.