A/N: I GOT THE IDEA FOR THE STORY SAMANTHA BENDER FROM THE SONG WELCOME TO THE FAMILY BY AVENGED SEVENFOLD(AND FROM OUTSIDERS FANFICS). IN HONOR OF THE ORIGIN OF THIS IDEA(JOHN TELLING THIS TO HIS SISTER), I MADE A SONGFIC ABOUT JOHN'S STRUGGLES GROWING UP WHILE PROTECTING HIS "BABY" SISTER.

You see her lying in the crib, just barely, since you are only three. You know what it's like, being in this hellhole. You make a vow, a promise, to protect little Samantha at all costs.

If you want to follow along, read the song lyrics one paragraph at a time

She is two now, you are five. You decide Samantha is old enough to learn some rules for surviving in hell.

"If you hear them coming,"You say,"Hide in your closet, or under the bed. Okay?"

"Kay,"She says.

She begins to notice the bruises and marks on your body. You confess what your parents do to you. She feels sorry.

"Why do they ignore me,"She asks,"And not you?"

"I don't know, Sammy,"You say.

They forced Samantha to watch you get beat. You feel horrible. You're a coward. You notice as she runs to you, the fear and anger in her eyes. She is not angry at you, but you do not know that.

"John,"She says,"John, it's okay."

But you know better, nothing is okay.

Samantha tells one of her teachers about your parents. The school calls. They punish you, beat you untill you're covered in bruises.

"Don't tell, Sammy,"You tell her.

Samantha comes to your door. She tells you she started her period. You do not know this is a lie. When you find out, you are crushed. Her father, your father, hurt her. You were supposed to protect her, but you failed.

You come home to see Samantha crying in her room. You console her, to find out that her boyfriend Nick, cheated on her. The next day at school, you corner the bastard and beat the tar out of him. No one messes with your sister. It earns you two detentions, and a beating at home, but it was worth it, for HER.

You learn to fight back, stand up for yourself. This earns greater punishment, but you feel a sense of pride in defending yourself. All the time, you wonder why. Why they hit you, and secretly, you wonder why they do not hit Sammy. What did I do, you begin to wonder, to deserve this? You are glad they don't hit Samantha. When you find out, it crushes you. You call yourself a big brother?

Samantha was the only girl you truly loved. You never got close to anyone. After all, no one can hurt you if they are not close. Then came detention, and Claire. You decide to open your heart, if only temporarily, to four random strangers. Maybe it was okay, safe to open your heart once in a while.

You cry a lot. Much more than you used to. Only Samantha knows about this, not even Claire, who loves you. Samantha tries to console you, but to no avail. Your heart is broken, shattered, burned, and dead.

Your father knocks you out, onto the floor. You protect Sammy from him, knocking him out in the process. You run out the door with Samantha, then stop to confront her about the bruises and marks, similar to yours.

You go back home only to be beat nearly to death. By your father, your own damn father! The nightmares start to plague you. Pain and hurt is all you have ever felt, and now, you have a chance. A chance to start again, but is it a trap?

It happened again. Sammy was hurt and you couldn't protect her. She hates you. No. Yes. No. She says she doesn't blame you, and she means it, but you do not believe her.

Your son will hate you. Claire hates you. Sammy hates you. Maybe everyone hates you. You suffer in silence, refusing to worry Claire or Sammy or anyone else. You know they love you, you know they care, but what they will not love is the dark clouds that form inside you.

The alcohol helps, mostly. You drink until you do not feel guilt anymore, or sadness. But that is never enough, is it? Not for you, anyways.