Bang, Marry, or Kill

It was a typical night for the Konoha boys, more importantly it was a Friday night. That meant that after a hard week's work they'd put their feet up and relax, play a nice game of poker and discuss current events that happened in their lives.

So they all gathered at Shikamaru's house and after a few hands coupled with some drinks and a few cigars the night dragged on.

It was about one in the morning when things became a little strange.

With a show of his cards Shikamaru had won yet another hand, much to the disappointment of his friends. So Shikamaru reached out and grabbed the pile and brought it over to himself.

"Shikamaru." Said Choji." How do you keep winning all these hands?"

"Thieving." Replied Shikamaru with a smirk. Kiba, who sat next to Shikamaru let out a roaring laugh and gave Shikamaru and hard shove to the shoulder.

"Say Neji." Said Choji to him as he began to shuffle the cards for the next hand." How's Tenten doing?"

"She's doing fine." Replied Neji. His friends looked up at him with skeptical looks as Choji dealt out the cards." We fight sometimes." Continued Neji." But that's just kind of how we work."

"Commitment's tough isn't it." Said Kiba as he looked at his hand." I mean I don't think I'll ever get tied down by a pretty face." Neji looked at him strangely." Right now, I'm more for living it up with all the wild encounters I can have."

"With what poor girl?" asked Shikamaru with a chuckle as he lit a cigar and put it in his mouth.

"So many to name. Well there's Hin-" began Kiba but he was cut off.

"Stop!" said Neji interrupting him.

"Say." Said Choji speaking up." Did any of you see the Hokage this afternoon?" As everyone turned to him he let out a breath."Whoo, that's one BIG woman."

"Let's say this." Said Kiba." Three women." He said raising up his fingers." You gotta fuck one, marry one, kill one." His friends looked on at him in interest." There's Tsunade, Sakura-"

"NO." said NEji suddenly as all eyes came upon him." Not anyone we know personally."

"That defeats the point of the game." Replied Kiba.

"Let's say this." Said Shikamaru leaning forward and pointing at Neji." If you were single and you could bang any girl who would it be." Neji gave a quick grunt before replying.

"Well I'm not single." He replied." So I can'y answer truthfully."

"He'd so do it." Whispered Kiba to Shikamaru.

"Or think of this." Said Choji." Would you want to be someone's sugar baby?" Everyone looked over to him." Have some older woman take you out, buy you nice things, and all for the occasional hook-up?"

"I'd think I'd do it." Said Shikamaru.

"Now what would Ino say to that?" asked Neji causing Shikamaru to get red in the face.

"That's it." Said Kiba." Older women. Tsunade, Shizune, and Kurenai. You gotta fuck one, marry one, kill one, GO!" But he spoke so fast and being tipsy he slurred some of his words so he was hard to understand, so he simply went first. "I'd kill Shizune, fuck Tsunade, and marry Kurenai." Told Kiba.

"Got a thing for the teacher?" asked Choji with a chuckle." Spank me, I've been a bad boy." He added in a little voice and a finger on his mouth.

"Well what would you go?" asked Kiba to Choji.

"In this scenario." Replied Choji." Bang Kurenai, Kill Tsunade, and marry Shizune."

"I would bang Kurenai, kill Shizune and marry Tsunade." Spoke up Shikamaru. His three friends turned to him with confused looks, everyone took the Hokage for a very stuck up woman." Then I'd divorce her for her money." Then his friends let out a roar of laughter and slammed their hands on the table." Gotta use a strategy."

And their laughter continued on into the night.

The End