This story is born out of the idea in my head that Barba ALWAYS seems to have something in his hands or that his hands are always moving. Idle hands... will get you into trouble every time.
He always needed something to do with his hands. His mother recognized it early on. She always made sure he had something to do. Playing ball. Encouraging him to join debate and use his hands to help him express his thoughts and feelings. It is why he always has a pen in his hands, taking meticulous notes. First in law school. Then studying for the bar. Then working his way up through the DA's office. His idle hands would get him in to trouble. It only happened a couple of times before his mother and abuelita laid down the law.
A cup of coffee. A glass of scotch. A pen. A file. A remote control. His phone. Even if he just rubbed his fingers together, just to keep his hands moving. He needed to keep his hands busy. He always did.
Especially in recent days. The more he was around her, the more he needed to make sure he had something to keep his hands busy. He was finding it harder and harder to not grab her arm, hand. He had to always make sure he had something around her.
Until he didn't. He found her sitting in the dim light of his office after hours. He was just coming back to finish up some work and there she sat, lost in thought. The last few cases had been brutal, on top of his suspension. They had been off since he had told her the truth that night in the bar, explaining what he had done. But there she sat. For no discernable reason. He laid his briefcase down and sat with her, clasping his hands together. It was the only thing he could do. Idle hands.
But she became emotional. It was like the dam broke inside her. After dealing with the loss of Dodds, the terror threat, dealing with the fallout from her first partner, having the trauma from her past come up in that case where she heard from all corners that her fate is predetermined. And then her friend being forced out of a job because of some rich bastard - Olivia didn't breakdown often. He could count on one hand the number of times he had seen her be overcome. But here she sat, tears in her eyes and his hands were idle. He worked so hard to respect the boundaries with her, keep her at an arms-length. But it was harder and harder to do these days. The feelings were becoming more difficult to ignore. It was easier when he had a reason to fight with her, be a little angry toward her. Or at least had a cup of coffee in his hands or a table separating them. But here, with her heart on her sleeve, it was downright impossible. He laid his hand on her back and she leaned in, resting her head on his shoulder. He was lost. He leaned back, wrapping his arm around her. He felt her start to relax and he closed his eyes. The feel of her this close, resting her hand on his chest. He could feel his fingers start to twitch. This is the time he would grab his phone or a pen or anything. But all he could was start to lightly run his fingers over the top of her arm. She sighed and leaned in further. He leaned on his free hand, tightening his hand into a fist. It was all he could do. He could feel her breath on his neck.
"Thanks" she whispered.
"I have your back, Liv. I always have. I always will. Even when we disagree. I'm here."
He felt her roll her head up so he looked down at her, finally opening his eyes. He felt her messing with the knot on his tie. Maybe she had an idle hand problem too? She looked at her fingers and then back up at him.
"That is probably the most honest truth I have in my life right now. You. You are there. Always." He nodded slightly and almost stopped breathing as he felt her hand move up to his face, resting on his cheek. She stared at him, her brown eyes boring into his. He couldn't have looked away even if he wanted to. His hand tightened around her shoulder.
"Liv" he shuddered out. "Liv, what's happening here?"
She pushed herself up slightly so they were face to face, feeling each other's breath. She smiled shyly. "I'm giving you something else to do with your hands" she muttered as she pulled his face toward hers, kissing him intensely. He unclenched his fist and ran his free hand up into her hair. After this, he knew it was going to be that much harder to keep his hands busy now that they had jumped over the line.