Disclaimer: I own nothing but the idea...well technically not even that. Okay I own nothing at all and I'm not making money from this.

The Cloris Awards

Chapter One: Child's Play

"Um, Cloud? Where are we?" Aeris asked as she moved closer to him and linked their arms. Cloud glanced at her for a moment before surveying the dark room once more. Even with his mako eyes, he could hardly make out a thing. Yuffie sniffed and stomped her foot in annoyance.

"I doubt Sephiroth would hide in here!" she complained with a puff of annoyed breath. Cloud was about to reply when the lights flickered on and he blinked as he noticed rows and rows of comfortable red seats filled with people chattering amongst themselves. Avalanche stared at each other, mouths open, and eyes wide with surprise and confusion. Before they could ask anything to each other, the lights dimmed a little and a voiceover called out.

"Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the Cloris awards!"

"Cloris? Is that some kind of charity?" Aeris asked with a small frown. Cloud shrugged.

"Here's your hostess…Scarlet…thingamajig!"

"What! If you're going to introduce me say my last name!" a blonde woman shouted as she raced down the stairs to the podium where the microphone was, a scowl on her face. Cloud blinked and turned to his friends.

"Is that the same Scarlet from ShinRa?" he asked in disbelief. The rest shrugged, too stunned to speak as Scarlet fixed her hair and gave a big fake smile.

"Well, tonight we are here to celebrate a year of the fan fictions that focused around the best Final Fantasy Seven couple there ever was: Cloud and Aeris!"

"What?" Cloud and Aeris cried at the same time, blushing madly.

"WHAT!" Tifa screamed and in a fit of rage punched the wall, leaving a large dent. Scarlet put her hands on her hips.

"Hey! If I can't get him you can't get him that's the rules sunshine!" she tutted before turning back to the audience.

"So our first category is, "Best Completed Full-length K+ fic." so the nominees are:

"Please, never leave me" by killedwithabustersword."

The camera panned in on the audience and saw a corpse with a buster sword through its heart giving a short wave. Scarlet raised an eyebrow before clearing her throat and holding up her card once again.

"In the Absence of My Flower Girl" by Only Teenage Wasteland."

The camera moved again to the corner of the room named "The Wasteland" where all the teenagers hung around. Scarlet sighed.

"Would you stop with that?" she yelled.

"The viewers have got to know who's who!" the voiceover argued. The blonde shook her head with an agitated sigh before continuing with the ceremony.

"And, "Year the First" by Pied Flycatcher."

Aeris glanced at the audience, and blinked when she saw a foot catching flies.

"Um, what's that got to do with it?" she asked, turning to the group.

"Pied is the French word for foot," Vincent replied in monotone.

"Oh…that's okay then,"

"The next category," Scarlet continued, "Is the best K+ one-shot. Now, there have been many brilliant fictions this past year so we have had to narrow it down,"

She smiled and glanced around the room before they fell on the Avalanche gang who were still by the doors at the side of the stage. A smile came to her lips before she turned back to the guests.

"But before that, let's have a speech from the lovely couple!"

Before Cloud and Aeris could object, two security guards had pushed them onto the stage and guided them towards the microphone.

"So, tell us how you two met…wait…we know that…okay…how about…you know what? Just get off the stage," she sighed, pushing Aeris aside but her eyes lingered on Cloud for a second before she snapped out of her daze and shoved him too.

"So in the category of the Best K+ one shot the nominees are:

"So Tell Me Something," by Katie for Clorith"

A girl stood up waving a Clorith flag around while chanting the word repeatedly.

"Sit down and shut up!" Scarlet screamed causing the girl to leap back and take her seat.

"Diary of a Cetra" by TinaK.Number1"

"Yeah! Number One! Woo!"

"Shut the hell up!" Scarlet yelled before brushing her hair back and reading off her card.

"Devotion" by 012607" she continued before she smirked. "Ha! You can't mess with that name!"

Suddenly the door opened and six people came in each holding up a card with a number, spelling out 012607. The blonde hostess sighed and put her head in her hands with exasperation.

"And "Oh, Shiva!" by Beeria."

"Beer! Eeee! Aaaaah!" an alcoholic cried out, holding up his empty beer can before opening another.

"And now, we move on to the Best K+ Songfic. Not much selection here folks so we've only got two. So without further ado, the nominees are:

"Emotion" by Beeria," and before the man could repeat his earlier action, Scarlet hurried on.

"Or, "Move Along," by Blitz chick. And before you come up with anything audience, please don't it could be offensive." She smiled before clearing her throat and setting the cards down.

"Well, join us after the break when we'll do the teenage categories. If you want your favourite nominee to win then vote now in a review, winners will be announce after the break before we start, thanks for watching…no…reading…no…wait…"

"And CUT!" the director shouted.

"Can we go now?" Cloud asked hopefully but sadly no answer came…

I hope I haven't offended anyone by doing this. It's just for a bit of fun even though it's probably annoying to a lot of you but not everyone has the same sense of silliness or humour about them. Remember that before you flame :D

And long live Cloris!