This is a Secret Santa for JasminaGo – Merry Christmas! This was inspired by the prompt 'colour blue'. I think this fic officially makes me as a sap... :D
Blue
-0-
She stared at the headstone a little too long. The letters seemed to jumble and blur. Definitely too long. For those weren't tears that were clouding her eyes... nope... definitely not.
A single stray tear escaped down her check and she wiped it away as she silently cursed at herself. What was she thinking?
Blue. It was blue.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, hands twisting in her lap. She could do this...
Standing up, she opened her eyes and wiped at her cheeks. Yes, she could definitely do this. Turning around she walked smack into someone else. "Sorry," Sam mumbled, her eyes lifting to the face of the woman before her. Oh... maybe not, she thought.
Her breath seemed to catch in her throat, for the woman standing before her was someone that had smiled back at Sam through many a photo that belonged to Jack. What was she thinking? What was she really thinking? Of all the places to come, of all the people in the world she could bump into...
Hang on. She was the one who shouldn't be here. She was the one who'd gotten a little scared and ended up running to an unknown cemetery in the middle of Colorado. What the hell was she doing again?
Sara's eyes seemed to widen momentarily, giving Sam the once over. Sam knew she must look pretty ridiculous, grabbing the first hat she could find when she darted out of the building. Her faded combat hat was hardly the best attire to keep out the cold or the snow, and it certainly didn't match the rest of her clothes.
Feeling stupid, she pulled the cap off her head, shaking out her long blonde hair, still somewhat wavy from the neat braid she often kept it in. She didn't know what to do, how to move, whether to say anything or carry on moving as though none of this had ever happened. But her legs refused to move. And Sara's eyes kept flitting from the name on the headstone to the eyes of the woman blocking her way.
"I...er... I...shouldn't be here, sorry," Sam stumbled passed her, one foot finally moving one in front of the other as she surged towards the cemetery gates.
"Wait..."
Sam stopped.
"You're Sam right?" Sara called after her, her words finally forcing Sam to turn back around. Sam nodded silently. "Do you fancy a coffee?"
-0-
They were sitting in a booth in the far corner, red vinyl covering the padded benches and a pale green laminate table positioned between them. Steam poured out of their large mugs and Sam poked at the marshmallows that floated at the top of her hot chocolate. She hadn't even realised how cold she was until Sara had pulled her into this old style diner and ordered them both a drink.
A small tree was sitting in the corner of the room, a few baubles and tinsel decorating its branches. The faint smell of cinnamon wafted into the air and if Sam listened carefully, she could hear someone softly humming a Christmas tune from inside the kitchen.
"This is a little awkward, huh?" Sara said, breaking the silence.
"Definitely unexpected," Sam agreed with a tense smile.
"You seemed a little... fragile... back there..."
Sam's eyes swept over the other woman's face, easier to see now they were sitting opposite one another, before gazing back down at her drink.
"Jack told me about you, last time I saw him," Sara continued.
Sam looked up from the source of her distraction. "What did he say?" She asked, her voice soft and quiet.
Sara shrugged a little. "Just that he'd gotten married again. That he was happy... that you make him smile again..."
Sam couldn't help but smile at that. He made a point of telling her that on a regular basis, not that she could tell Sara that. "He talks about you sometimes," She offered instead. Sara's eyebrows rose slightly while Sam merely shrugged. "We both have regrets from the past... I think he sometimes worries about making the same mistakes..."
A moment of silence swept over them and both stared at their drinks before Sam braved it and took a sip, trying not to burn her tongue on the hot liquid.
"This is probably none of my business..." Sara began, their eyes meeting again across the table. "But you seemed a little upset back there... and well, it was my son's grave..."
Sam broke eye contact, her gaze shifting to a stain on the work surface. She absently traced the smudge with her finger before shifting her eyes back up to Sara's face. "Jack mentioned that you have also remarried... that you have two children now..." Sara nodded slowly. "I... how did you do it? I mean, have them... Oh God, that came out wrong-"
"It's okay," Sara butted in, waving her hand at her to dismiss it. "I know what you're getting at..."
Sam grimaced. "Oh..."
Sara sighed, "It wasn't easy...but then I guess I never expected it to be and somehow... well that made it easier in itself really..." She saw the frown on Sam's face and tried to elaborate. "Of course, having Steven there for me helped, and really... I made myself remember the good things about what Jack and I had with Charlie..."
Sam found herself staring at the stain on the table again. "Do you think..." She shook her head and dismissed the thought entirely.
"You're worried about Jack?" Sara asked quietly. Sam bit her lip and nodded."You're both happy aren't you?"
Sam nodded again, surprised by the fact that her eyes seemed to be filling with tears again.
"But that's not it, is it?"
Sam shook her head, suddenly unable to speak. She turned away and wiped at her eyes momentarily. "I'm sorry," She muttered, "I don't know what's come over me."
Sara paused briefly before leaning across the table and placing her hand on top of Sam's, squeezing it slightly. "Are you sure?"
Their eyes met and Sam found herself unable to look away. Sara's face clearly expressed that she couldn't be fooled.
"Have you told him?"
Sam shook her head. "I don't want to ruin Christmas..."
"Sam!" Sara all but laughed, "You know Jack as well as I do... Do you really think this is going to ruin Christmas?"
-0-
Sam glanced at the wrapped box on the seat next to her. This was stupid, she thought. Stupid... still she let go of her grip on the steering wheel, picked up the present and opened the door.
"There you are!" She heard Jack call as she let herself in the front door. He emerged from the kitchen moments later with a beer in his hand, his body moving towards the couch. Sam glanced at the game on the TV, her legs somehow coming to a stop halfway into the room.
Jack paused and looked at her for moment. She was biting her lip subconsciously, her fingers tightening their grip on the package on her hands. "What's that?" He motioned innocently to the wrapped box.
Sam glanced down at the box and its pretty red bow. "An early Christmas present..." She stated, somehow finding her inner strength. She moved a few paces toward him, holding it out for him to take as she came to a stop just before his feet.
Jack glanced at the present and then up at her face. "For me?" He asked innocently.
"Uh-huh..."
"I get to open this now?"
A small smile began working its way upon her face and Sam couldn't help but notice the sense of warmth that spread through her, chasing away the butterflies in her stomach. "Yep..."
Jack glanced at her face again before taking the package from her and peeling off the wrapping. Sam noticed his frown first, as he looked at the writing on the box, his fingers suddenly going still.
"I've done the first one..." Sam cleared her throat. "Do you want to try out the second one together?"
Jack looked up from the box in his hand, his eyes wide with shock. He gulped. "What did the first one say...?"
Sam could feel the smile on her face spreading into an uncontrollable grin. "Blue. The line was blue."
And as Jack swept her up into his arms, spinning her round with a loud cry leaving his lips, Sam couldn't understand what she was worried about in the first place.
"I know it's not going to be easy..." She added, once her feet were back on solid ground.
Jack's hands cupped either side of her face. "I've got you haven't I?" He asked, his voice soft and earnest. Sam could only nod in response. "And I'm going to be here for you every step of the way..."
"So..." Her voice was a little shaky, and she smoothed down a crease in his shirt as they stood still encased in each other's arms. "Did you like your Christmas present?"
Jack nodded. "But I think what I got you, is now going to pale in comparison..." He threw her a smile and Sam couldn't help but throw one back.
"Merry Christmas," she whispered, her words suddenly getting swallowed up by his lips.
"It sure is," He whispered back.