A/N: Whew, been a while. I promise I'm still trying to get another chapter of The Notebook done, but literally every time I try to write it my brain shuts off and it's like HOW DO I WORDS. D: But one day I'll get over that block if I keep trying!

In the meantime, have some crack. And by crack, I mean pure and total crack. I started a little more serious but with the crackish intent, then just kinda dissolved into whatever the hell this is from there.

So, here are the warnings:

Crack!
Kinda random and confusing and I don't even know what I wrote anymore.
Baking with "love".
OOC
Implied drugging of somebody's drink to make them high.
Doesn't actually fit in anywhere in the game's story, but what the heck that's the least of these warnings to be worried about.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I blame a few people I've fangirled with over the years for leading to this getting written due to our conversations. The characters are (C) Namco-Bandai, not me. I make no profit from it. Unless you count giggling like a deranged maniac profit, in which case I'm rich.

Really, Emil had no idea what had gotten into Richter for the past few hours. Well, that wasn't quite true. He suspected it might have had something to do with why he had seen Tenebrae hovering around the older male's drinks all night, invisible to all but himself and Marta. Aqua had chided the Centurion of Darkness for something he'd done, and Emil suspected it may have been spiking Richter's drinks.

Really, the blond was just glad that he'd managed to get Richter back to the room they were sharing. Still, it was Richter's birthday, and he supposed a little fun (even if it was probably drug-induced) was good for the half-elf. Richter had been in the room for a while, long enough that he no longer seemed to be under the influence of what ever Tenebrae had probably given him, so Emil thought it was about time to give Richter his present.

The blond retrieved a box from his bag, and offered it to the half-elf, wondering what Richter would think.

When the redhead opened it, he found a homemade cake, it was frosted with chocolate and had the words "Happy Birthday Richter" written on it in blue icing. He looked up at Emil, rather surprised. But he was happy, too, since he always enjoyed Emil's cooking.

Emil wordlessly handed a small fork to the half-elf, explaining at the mild confusion on Richter's face, "I-it's just for y-you, Richter. O-only you're a-allowed to e-eat it. I m-made it 's-special' for you..."

Richter paused, hearing the echo of another blond's mischief in those words, but decided to just eat the cake anyway. He carefully dug the fork in, finding it to be double-layered marble cake with vanilla icing in the middle. He carefully took the morsel into his mouth, eyes widening at the mostly unexpected and curiously familiar flavor. He continued to take small bites, enjoying it, and rather amused to see Emil blush darker the more bites he took. When he'd eaten half of the small cake he carefully set it aside, glancing back at Emil.

"D-do you l-like it?"

Richter nodded. "It's different, but in a good way."

Emil turned about fifty shades of red, muttering, "I-I'm gl-glad..."

Richter paused, then asked, "You made this special for me?" When Emil noded, Richter continues, "What did you put in it to get that flavor?"

Emil was only able to turn another few dozen shades of red, his face now doing a lovely imitation of Richter's hair, unable to make a sound beyond a small squeak.

Richter smirked faintly, and said, "Well, it tastes quite good, Emil~"

Emil smiled faintly, relieved by Richter's praise though the half-elven male had just praised him a few moments before. He's confused, though, by Richter's next statement.

"It tastes like bunnies."

Richter was not one to joke around, Emil knew. And the man said it with such a straight face. It was... Emil knew he shouldn't believe Richter, but somehow he wasn't quite sure Richter was lying.

"H-how would y-you know w-what they taste l-like? D-do you eat b-bunnies?"

Richter nodded, taking another bite of cake and saying rather calmly, "Yes, twice a week, in fact. The fluffier ones have better flavor."

Emil just looked at the half-elf, bewildered, and unsure how to react to this. If Richter was serious, that was really... Different. But if Richter was playing around, that was really weird, too.

Richter, amused by Emil's reactions, continued smoothly with, "But the fluffy ones are a little bit more difficult to get down, so you need to cover them in honey first."

Now Emil was certain Richter was not quite as sober as he'd seemed. He carefully took the cake and said, "I'm never letting Tenebrae near you again."

Richter just laughed, suddenly behind Emil and hugged the blond.