Title: Lazy Reasoning.
Series: Naruto: Shippuuden.
Rating: PG13?
Genres: General, uh, slight romance? Uh...vague humor?
Warnings: Swearing, Laziness, slight SasuNaru bashing, slight attempted what-if. Biasedness for sure. xDD Slightly AUish in context if people have been keeping up with the manga, already know that Sasuke will probably never come back to Konoha but still...
DHC: This is what happens when Jamie lets her Shikamaru's stay too long inside of my head. I begin to develop an insane 'Anti-SasuNaru Shikamaru rant syndrome'. xDD Anyway, this is dedicated to her and her Shikamaru's. xD May the ShikaSasuness live on.
Everyone around me believes Sasuke and Naruto belong together. 'Sasuke and Naruto balance one another out', 'There's no way anyone else could be with either of them, they're meant to be together', so on, and so on, it's so troublesome. Sasuke and Naruto, Naruto and Sasuke, is there anyone who doesn't agree with it here?
I don't. It sickens me.
I'm not saying it because I'm some biggoted, homophobic low-life. I'm saying it because I don't agree with it and believe that those who think so are delusional and need to get a base on reality.
So, Naruto and Sasuke balance one another out?
Believe it or not, there is a world beyond them and at some point in time, by the whims of fate, one Uchiha Sasuke is the balance of me. Don't look so shocked, it's true. Put it together in your slow, redundant minds.
He is everything I am not, there is more of a counterbalance to him and I than Naruto and him than you'd think.
In another lifetime, or perhaps a parallel universe, if it existed, who knows? Maybe it was me he was balanced to, 'meant' to be with, the way you close-minded people so put it.
But you know what? That's kind of far-fetched and troublesome... Let's get back to reality, shall we?
Despite the fact you all believe them to be destined, you're wrong. Can you not see it? Uzumaki Naruto would refuse to be held back or down by being with that Uchiha. Being with him would not only decrease his popularity even more (and we all know the looks the town gives him...) by being with Konoha's 'pride', but also its traitor, but it would give him even less of a chance to be Hokage.
'But he wouldn't care if he loved him!' You argue.
If. If he loved him, is the key word. They are not in love and anyone (not blinded by their delusions, that is) can see that much. Friends, yes, close ones. But there would never be anything more than that. They are too similar in many ways and there is no appeal in something similar to yourself, is there? No, we as humans want something that is unlikened to ourselves and new; different, and fairly challenging. It wouldn't be interesting if it weren't despite how troublesome it is...
Wanna know something else? I've heard it straight from the Uchiha himself that there was less of a snowball's chance in hell than him being in love with the 'dobe', as he still puts it. Not to mention Naruto himself has avidly denied having any feelings of love other than brotherly for the Uchiha and if you haven't noticed, gets a rather sickly tinge to his skin when thinking about it.
Why am I speaking up now?
Tsk...such a pain to explain everything. Let's put it this way: It's annoying and very troublesome having to listen to the majority of Konoha (and a few other villages...) gossiping and spreading such lies. I know for a fact that it's not, and you all just have your heads stuck up in the clouds.
...Actually, I kind of wish I were a cloud--augh, so troublesome... Anyway, point in case: Uchiha Sasuke and Uzumaki Naruto are not in love. Not. Got it? Or do I have to repeat myself? This is so damn troublesome, I should've stayed in bed... Dammit, now I'm wasting all of my time talking about this when I could be--
"Still bothered?"
---What was I going to say again? ...Oh well, too troublesome to remember. Aa, mendoukusai... I'm tired. Sleep sounds wonderful right now.
"How you can go from pissed off to completely bored and apathetic never fails to confuse me."
Tsh... Yeah, yeah... Say what you will, it's all so troublesome... Can't I just go sleep now?
"I didn't come here just to sleep again, you know."
Sigh... Yeah, I know. Damn. I still hoped you wouldn't bug me about this... Whatever... Go set up the damn shougi board already. I've got naps to take, clouds to watch, and time to waste.
"Heh... Yet you waste your breath on an inane rant that most people will ignore anyway."
...Mendoukusai... Just set up the board already. Annoying, troublesome--
"Just shut up and sit down already."
---Or I could do that. Yeah, much better... Still annoying as hell, though... Aa...
...But you know? It doesn't really bother me so much that people think Sasuke and Naruto are meant to be, they're entitled to their opinion. But what makes me so...agitated, I guess, despite how troublesome it is, is that they overlook what's already in front of them. But, I guess it can't be helped. People are always stuck in their own world with their own ideals and generally refuse to see past what they want to see...
Well... At least I know the truth, anyway. And that's enough for me, as It's too troublesome to flaunt it out there and be met with angry mobs of fans screaming otherwise at me and sending me death threats... No, I'm fine with the knowledge I know. And as long as it matters to me and I know the facts, why bother?
Uchiha Sasuke and Uzumaki Naruto aren't in love...
Why not?
Because, as troublesome as it is, Uchiha Sasuke is in love with me.
As for me?
...I think I can deal with an annoying Uchiha. I've got nothing better to do, anyway.
Owari.
DHC: Yup. Cliche ending, but totally Shikamaruish as well. But we all know he loves him back if he's so angry about the SasuNaruness despite not saying it. :p