Thomas the Tank Engine was depressed. So depressed he was blue! (lol get it?)
"It's just not fair!" sobbed Thomas "why do trains always have limited freedom?!"
"Because we move on train tracks?" spoke one train who's name I forgotten.
"Why are you suddenly acting like this Thomas?" asked another train who's name I forgotten.
"I LIK PICKLESSSSSSSSS!!!!" screamed another train who most likely doesn't even exist.
Thomas sighed. "I don't know why I'm feeling down. Maybe it's because not many people pay attention to me anymore. Maybe it's because I have a chemical imbalance in my brain. Or maybe it's because the author is having an unmotivated day and decided to make a fanfic about me being emo for the hell of it. But what I do know is the pain needs to stop. And I know just how to do it."
"Wait, you don't mean…"
"Goodbye cruel world!"
His friends shouted at him to rethink about his decision, but his accelerating chugging drowned out their voices. Faster and faster he went, moving the speed he never dared to go before. He tooted his last choo-choo before blazing through a 'broken train track' sign and right off a cliff. Three seconds later, a low boom was heard. One of the trains fearfully went to the edge of the cliff to see the results, and cried when it saw Thomas nothing more than a horrible train wreck.
"Why Thomas? Whhhhhy?" the train mourned. "You were the only one who knew how to pay taxes! WAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!"
The rest of the trains broke out in tears and cried for poor, poor Thomas.
Speaking of Thomas, his spirit was now riding on the golden railway to heaven. The tank engine wasn't pleased to see his wonderful afterlife before him, but rather confused.
"Since when the BLEEP do trains go to heaven?"
-
Da End!
(god I'm getting so damn lazy these days)