Happy
Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Veronica Mars and this is purely a fanfiction written for pleasure not profit.
A/n: This is a bit of a strange ficlet. Basically, for no good reason, I decided to see if I could write a short piece in paragraphs each comprising 5 sentences and each dealing with a specific part of the story. I know, weird right? Because I tried to stick to that format, it all ended up a bit wordy and pretentious. Have a look anyway… it's probably not for everyone!
It's the third morning in a row that she's thrown up before lunchtime and she doesn't have to be half as good a detective as she is to know what that means. They were careful, weren't they? Not careful enough, Veronica berates herself, because she has never wanted kids this side of thirty and the only man she ever considered having them with is… well, that doesn't matter now. All she knows is that she's really fucked up this time and strangely the person she's fucked over the most is the guy that has nothing to do with this. Except it's her, so of course it has everything to do with him- that's the point of epic love.
She tells Piz- tells him the whole ugly truth, he deserves that much- and he lingers just long enough for her to really see his heart break. That hurts, and then he leaves and that hurts too, but not as much as it should. He could handle it if it was the obvious betrayal, the one that all of the four major arguments they ever had in their angst-lite eighteen-month relationship have been about, but it's never that simple with Veronica. She wonders when she became such a bitch and why she ever thought she could be with someone as sweet and uncomplicated as Piz. She doesn't feel lost without him- he's never been her anchor- she just feels lost full stop.
The night doorman at the Neptune Grand tilts his hat at her as if it hasn't been over a year since she last strolled through the doors headed for the boy in the penthouse. It's nearly three in the morning and Logan looks deliciously dishevelled when he opens the door but thankfully he's alone. He tries not to look like the bottom just dropped out of his world when she tells him she's carrying a child, the child he perhaps would have wanted to be his, and she tries not to look ashamed when he asks how Piz took the news. When she says that she needs him he holds her like they haven't already stomped each other's hearts into pulpy messes several times over. He doesn't question that she's here, she doesn't question the second toothbrush she finds in his bathroom later on and she falls asleep in his arms like she never left.
Piz is about to leave for class when Logan descends, quietly angry and demanding explanations. How could Piz do that to Veronica, just abandon her, walk away? It's a credit to Piz that he stays remotely calm, but he does, and they have maybe their first real conversation, ever (maybe their last, too. If Piz thought it was Logan and Logan thought it was Piz then that leaves one hell of a big question still to be answered though. Piz thinks he never really knew this tiny blonde girl called Veronica Mars; Logan smiles tightly to himself when he works it out and realises just how well he knows her.
Weevil looks older when she sees him in prison; or maybe he just looked younger that careless starlit night on the PCH the eve of his court hearing. Veronica still isn't sure if they were calming his nerves, helping her forget that Piz had just told her he knew she was still in love with her ex, or if, possibly, it was really about acknowledging the unresolved chemistry between the two of them while they still had the chance. Regardless, she looks him straight in the eye and calls him 'Eli' when she tells him and he doesn't look away, even when he reaches for her hand across the table. He's sorry because he knows this is the last thing she wanted, she's sorry because if he wasn't in here for ten years she thinks he might well want it and they both apologise until the five-minute warning buzzes. Weevil kisses Veronica's hand, tells her to say hi to Logan- funny, since she hasn't mentioned Logan or Piz during the visit- and says he'll send his cousin Rosa round to talk this week.
It's funny that until this moment (this quiet, unspectacular moment completely devoid of lunatics, murderers or rapists) Veronica has never realised that Logan is her hero. With the best will in the world, Rosa and her husband's offer to take the baby, raise it in their family, never bother her again, is both insulting and soul-destroying. Veronica doesn't understand why she can feel her heart breaking as she stands there, wondering if Weevil's instinct if right and she is the last person that should look after this child. It's lucky that Logan has no such compunctions when he looks her visitors straight in the eye and tells them this baby already has a mother, a father and a home. He bought the house, close to the best kindergarten school in town, the day after she told him she was pregnant, and doesn't she know (continents spanned, lives ruined, epic) she's got him forever anyway?
There's more, so much more, for them to do, but all in good time. For now, it's Veronica and Logan and baby, against the world. Keith adapts to the idea of being a grandfather quicker than he adapts to the idea of the unstable-party-boy standing in as Daddy for the convicted-felon. Veronica takes Weevil's daughter to see him once, after she is born, and he cries and kisses them both and says not to bring the girl again. She is perfect, he says, and she's going to have a Mummy who's an FBI agent and a adoring Daddy who makes enough money in his nameless stupid rich-boy business enterprises to spoil her and Mummy the way they deserve. So much is lost and wrong and broken, but some things are perfect and some days it's all about the love, and somehow it's okay (Lily, Lianne, Meg, Duncan, Weevil) to be happy.
Oh, go on, leave a review- you know you want to. Thanks for reading!