A/N: An angsty fic I wrote based on a tumblr prompt.
Hope you enjoy!
Theirs had seemed like your typical love story before that night: met at the local grocery store downtown, love at first sight, cute first date, magical first kiss and all the rest.
What kinda messed up love story is this then? Dean thought as he sat in the back of the ambulance, looking at the wreckage. The Impala was on its side, a little away from the road. The other vehicle that had crashed into them was just out of Dean's view, but he could see the smoke coming from the bonnet. He glanced at the sky before his eyes fixed upon the wreckage again.
"I wouldn't get the pie here, it makes you ill." Dean mused aloud, directing his comment at the guy standing two feet from him who was holding two pies and flicking his attention between them as if it were the most important decision in the universe.
The guy, who was wearing a trench coat despite the day's hot weather, turned to look at Dean with impossibly blue eyes that gave Dean the feeling he was being x-rayed. "Hey." Came the short reply, with a slight smile.
"Hi." Dean smiled nervously. This other guy was cute, and Dean was falling for him hard and fast.
"Castiel," trench coat dude introduced himself whilst holding out his hand. "And if the pies here are as bad as you say, then maybe you could help me find some good pie?"
"Dean Winchester. And I'm sure I could help you find some pie."
"Great. Let's go then."
"Wait, now?"
"Yes. There's no time like the present." Dean hesitated. "Come on." Cas smiled at him, head tilting slightly like a little puppy.
"Okay." Dean smiled nervously.
Dammit Cas, please be okay. I don't have anyone left any more, no one but you. I'm begging you man, please survive. Dean prayed silently, watching as a smaller figure was pulled from the Impala's interior and loaded onto the stretcher the paramedics had got ready. Several pipes were hooked up to the unconscious man, keeping him stable.
As his boyfriend was loaded into the other ambulance, Dean ran to join him, despite the protests of the men from the vehicle behind him. "He's my boyfriend, I have to see him-you can't just stop me-I love him- Cas!" He shouted as the paramedics on scene worked to usher him back to his own ambulance.
He was closer to Cas when the world lurched alarmingly below him, sending him tumbling to the concrete. He was loaded into the ambulance with Cas, and the doors were shut behind him.
Dean had escorted his new acquaintance to a local coffee shop, where he knew they had good pie. He sat Castiel down in one of the small booths, and ordered a large piece of apple pie, which they both shared.
When it was done, they ordered coffees and talked for a couple of hours, before noticing the time. "I really gotta go," Cas sighed. "But I loved this. Maybe we can do it again some time?"
"Yeah sure." Dean replied, running his hand over the back of his head. "Bye, Castiel."
And then this guy he had met a couple of hours ago had leaned in to plant a slow, soft kiss on his lips. "You can call me Cas." He has smiled against Dean's lips before scrawling his number on a napkin and exiting the store.
Dean grabbed a hold of Cas' limp hand and gripped it tightly like a lifeline. "Hey, Cas? You remember that first date we had? Yeah, well that made me feel the best I had in ages. So thank you.
"Cas please stay alive. I need you. Please, do me this one favour. Don't die."
"Cas do you love me?" Dean had blurted out one night. He knew the answer of course; since moving in Cas had whispered the three words into Dean's ear every night before they fell asleep in each other's arms.
"Of course Dean, you know that."
"Really Castiel? Do you want me?"
"Of course I want you, Dean!"
"See, I don't think you do."
"Dean, you're drunk. Go to bed."
"No, I don't want to."
"Dean, please. You're drunk. Sleep it off, I'm not talking to you when you're like this."
"Take me to see Sam."
"Dean you and Sam haven't spoken in years, why do you-
"Please, Cas."
And so Cas had got into the driver's seat of the Impala that night, heading to Sam's house with Dean in the seat next to him.
Dean was crying, tears flowing freely from his eyes as he watched Cas, hoping for any sign of life. "Cas, I'm so sorry we fought, I'm so sorry I got drunk and didn't believe you.
"This is my fault. I got drunk again, I shouldn't have, I don't know what came over me. Please, Cas, I'm so sorry." He cried.
The paramedics had tried to stitch his wounds but he wouldn't let them near him. He wanted to be with Cas.
"Dean," Cas began. Dean could hear the smile in his voice and turned, curious as to the cause of happiness.
"Cas look out!" His warning came too late, and he lunged out to grab Cas instinctively, trying to save him from the impact of the van that had come crashing into the Impala's side.
There was a bright light, and his head collided with something hard before he sank into the crushing darkness.
There was a sudden rush of first aiders into the back of the ambulance where Dean sat, still grasping Cas' hand. He was pulled away by one of them, a kind man with brown eyes. Dean glared at him. "What's going on?" He demanded.
The man looked at him with sympathetic eyes. "His heart rate's slowing, we need to make sure he keeps breathing."
"Wait, he's dying?"
"You have to be prepared for the worst." Came the reply.
Dean's face twisted in pure horror. He tried to push past them , to get to Cas, but he was firmly held back by the guy who'd pulled him away. "Cas, don't you die on me you son of a bitch. Not like this. Please." He slumped in the other man's grip, tears flowing faster than ever.
After a short while of checking, the paramedics allowed Dean back next to Cas, and he sat there, delicately stroking his boyfriend's hand with the tips of his fingers.
"Cas, please don't leave me." Dean cried.
Cas smiled, bright crimson blood blossoming from his mouth. "Dean," he whispered.
"I'm here, Cas, I'm here. I'm so sorry, Cas."
"Dean, I-
The heart monitor Cas had been hooked up to made a deadline continuous beep, and the dips and troughs on the screen turned into one flat line.
Dean's face contorted into a look of horror. "Cas? Cas? No, no, no, no, you're not dead, don't you dare go die on me you son of a bitch. Cas?" He started crying again. "Cas please dont do this to me, please. Come back, I need you."
Dean didn't grieve like other people. He didn't let his emotions show, not around anyone but Cas. He never had. And now Cas was gone.
He didn't cry at the funeral. He watched the coffin being carried to the plot and lowered gently, refusing to let the tears fall. When it was his turn to say a final goodbye, he walked slowly up to the coffin, pale complexion in stark contrast to the black suit he was wearing.
"I'm so sorry Cas," Dean shook as he whispered his goodbye.
He pounded the bonnet of the nearest car repeatedly with a pipe in a blind fury.
This wasn't fair. Why the fuck was it always him? Dean had lost everyone: his mom, his dad, Bobby, Ellen, Jo, Lisa, everyone. And now Cas was gone too.
He still saw him. Everywhere, haunting him at night, in the store. Everywhere he went, Dean saw his blue eyed angel, and it felt like his heart was being shredded.
"Son of a bitch!" Dean screamed before trowing down the pipe and sinking to his knees. "Come back to me Cas, please. I know you can hear me. Get your ass down here right now." Dean commanded. Nothing happened.
"Please, Cas. I can't go on without you." Dean shook. "I can't. Everyone else is gone, you're all I had left. Please come back. I miss you, Castiel. You hear me?"
Dean got angry. "Answer me goddamnit Cas, I know you can hear me!"
His shouts were met by sympathetic looks from customers at the auto repair shop, but no Cas.
Dean blinked away tears, before slowly muttering "you bastard. I should have been behind the wheel. I should have died, not you. Come back. Please."
Dean tossed and turned in his bed, eyes moving rapidly under their lids. Cas stood watching him for a while, before joining him in their old bed.
Cas felt the taller man relax when he embraced him. Wrapping his wings around them, making sure that Dean was safe and comfortable, Cas fell asleep, whispering "I love you, Dean." into the others ear before closing his eyes.
Dean woke up from the calmest night of sleep he'd had since Cas' death. He had felt warm and protected, like there was an angel watching over him. He smiled at the thought as he made his morning coffee.
He tilted his head to the ceiling. "I love you too, Cas." He whispered.