ENGEL
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or it's characters,
Summary: The only desire he had was to protect Ichigo. He even cloaked his true nature, wearing a name that wasn't his in order to deceive the boy... and yet.
Shout Out: The chapter number 541 of Bleach just blew me away, and because I was feeling mutinous at a time, for Tite Kubo having almost disregarded our favorite old man, I wrote this piece. If you want to listen to anything while reading this piece... well, my personal favorite is Engel by Rammstein; check it out on Youtube.
It was all a lie.
A carefully crafted one, designed to protect, but a lie nonetheless.
And when he stared into those stricken hazel orbs he couldn't help but feel remorse. He had hoped that the boy would never discover his origins... because then, it would truly be the end of him.
Of them.
The concealment of his true nature was an inconvenience, even if he had managed to fool Muramasa - an inconvenience that pained him, because it went against his basic nature, but for this boy... his boy, he would have murdered in cold blood, if needed be, so his personal discomfort was a moot point in lieu of protecting him.
Still it hurt to look into those wide, shocked eyes that shone with disbelief at his betrayal. In that moment he wished he would have been a real Zanpakuto, so that none of that mess would have happened - that he would have been able to be with him, guide him, discover more about him -
And yet, it wasn't so.
Never did he despise his own nature as much as he had in that one moment. He knew he was - despite Ichigo's claims – always the boy's one big, glaring weakness - Hell, he sicked the Hollow on his wielder under pretense of teaching him his 'techniques', he had to watch how Ichigo was trounced mercilessly, time after time, wounded, mocked, taught - and how the boy rose, again and again, against that Kuchiki – taicho, against Muramasa, against Kokuto, against everyone and anyone who threatened his friends - a shield, a sacrifice, a spear, the sole burning light in endless darkness of his existence.
And then came Aizen and Hogyoku and he was forced to abandon protecting Ichigo in order for Ichigo being able to protect... everyone else.
In that singular moment, in the underwater of Ichigo's inn er world, he never hated the boy more that he had right then, and paradoxically, he had never loved Ichigo more than any time before. That foolish ryoka boy; belonging to everywhere and nowhere - a mortal, a Kushanada, a Quincy, a Shinigami and just for a short while, a Transcendent - still, so short lived and yet brightly burning; burning enough to warm and finally sear Zangetsu's heart.
/The End/Owari/