"Who's gonna end up holding your hand?
A beautiful woman, or a tall handsome man?
There's no doubt they'll love you, but it's yet to be seen
Will anyone ever know you like me?"
I'm your dirty little secret. I know I am. I also know that you won't admit it. You can't bring yourself to say the b-word, it's dirty in your mind. The word poisons your tongue, taints your thoughts, repulses your stomach. It's like a bug, that niggles under your skin. Except this one niggles at your mind, and you feel you need to get rid of it as soon as you can.
So I'll say it for you.
Bisexual.
There, now it's out in the open. I've admitted it for you.
No, I won't be quiet! And yes, it is true. Why deny it? Why hide who you really are? Because you're Carly Shay? You're the good girl who doesn't put a foot wrong, daddy's little angel, Spencer's golden girl.
It's supposed to be bad girls like me that are the degenerates of this world, the ones that aren't "normal". Hell, half the class, and even my mom, expected me to turn out to be the lesbian.
But I've seen the way you look at me. Seen the way you eye me up and down when we're getting changed. I even remember last weekend, when we snuck some vodka from Spencer's secret stash and we got totally wasted. You were worse than me, I was at least kinda coherent. You told me how much you loved me, then kissed me right there on the bed before passing out, still with your sneakers on.
I don't know if you remember it or not, but I do. You acted the next day like nothing happened. I can usually read you well, but I can't figure out if you remembered it or not. Weird, huh?
See, you and Fredward are the power couple in our grade right now. Up for prom king and queen next month, and if I'm honest, you're probably gonna win too. I hate to admit it, but you two are quite cute together. But then again, so are you and me. A few people have said so, and to be honest, I think they're right. I'm not just saying that, Carls, I really do.
So Carly, I know I can't see into the future, so I don't know what's gonna happen after school, after college even. I don't know who you're gonna end up with: a beautiful woman who will look after you, that you can grow old with in an apartment looking after the ocean. Dogs playing in the background, a garden that you can't plant flowers in, then after it's done, a beach chair that you can lie in and bask in the sun, a beer in one hand, your pearpod in another.
Or will you be with a handsome man? Have two kids in a huge house in the country, with acres of land out back.
Whoever you end up with, I know they'll love you. I mean, who doesn't? You're adorable in every way.
So that leaves me with only one last thing to say to you. I like you, Carly, but the big question is: Will anyone ever know you like me?