Disclaimer: I do not own DEBS or any of the characters used from the movie. They belong to Angela Robinson. This disclaimer applies to all chapters in this story.
I...Remember - sequel to Missing You
Chapter 1
The proposal was better than everything she thought it would be. Amy managed to control herself and didn't tell anyone until a day later, back in their duplex. The moment was too beautiful not to have it captured on her cell phone. Even though she heard it before, it came out differently the way she had imagined it. Sparklers instead of candles made it even more beautiful. It surprised her that the words inside the heart wasn't what she thought when she heard the story. It wasn't 'I love you.' It was 'Amy be mine'.
"I can't believe you lie to me. You can trust me. I wouldn't have told her." Holding her baby in one arm and holding a bottle with the other hand, Janet sat on the end of the couch. Sitting next to her was a very happy Amy. Alexis and Nadia sat on another. Janet was a little upset for being left out of the loop.
"She didn't need your help." Nadia wasn't aware of the proposal until the day before the trip. It was Lucy's plan and she needed her help as well as Scud's who helped set up the numerous sparklers in the sand. The idea of proposing to Alexis was hers, not Lucy's. All Lucy wanted her to do was somehow get the blonde to go to that area on the beach. The thought of proposing to Alexis that way did in fact crossed her mind, though, but decided that it should be a special moment between just the two of them, not in front of strangers. She didn't see how the brunette proposed but could imagine how special it must have been. "Besides, the less people know about it, the better. She said."
All turned to the one who had been very quiet from the moment Amy told them about the proposal.
"Congratulations, Kristin. It's beautiful." Alexis said as she took a look at Amy's diamond ring. To this day, she still had not gotten used to calling her by her real name.
Noticing her girlfriend's odd behavior, Nadia was expecting Alexis to have a lot to say because that's how she is, one who who could turn a boring conversation to life or give excitement to a boring party or event.
"It's getting late, I have to go."
Yup, there is definitely something wrong. Nadia quickly followed the brunette outside to her car.
Meanwhile, Janet wanted to know if Amy wanted a wedding because Kristin didn't.
"Definitely, but a very very small one." What she was planning on was to invite Kat, Max, Mr. P and her superior. "Lucy is going to invite a few of her friends." Since she'll be in school, she planned on letting Lucy do everything. All she has to do is agree with the arrangements and show up. "Is everything okay, Nadia?" Amy saw the disappointment on Nadia's face when she came in.
"mhm…"
Nadia's response was barely audible. "What happened?" Amy said in a concerned tone.
"nothing…"
"Nadia, come here…" Amy patted on the seat next to her and waited for her to come over. She had seen that expression before and knows enough to know that something is bothering the innocent looking chef. "Even if we can't help you, sometimes it helps, just to talk about it." Those were the same words Nadia and Janet once said to her.
Letting out a big sigh, Nadia then let out a small smile towards her friends. But that smile quickly faded. "I asked…Alexis if I did propose to her that way, what would she have said?"
Loud gasps came from the listeners. They were quite shocked that Nadia was actually thinking about proposing in front of a group of strangers.
"What did she say?" Janet asked anxiously.
"She said she would be shocked."
"I would be too." Amy said and Janet agreed.
"…and she said she was glad that I didn't because she would have said no."
"ohhhh…" That's what Amy had said to her that day when she found out what Nadia was planning to do; there is a possibility that Alexis would say no. She could just imagine how embarrassing it would be being rejected in front of her friends and strangers. "Did she say why?"
"She said she's not ready and we're still young."
Amy nodded in understanding and quickly comforted her. "She's right, Nadia. You girls are still young."
"But I want to marry her. I want to spend the rest of my life with her…but I…" She paused and looked at both, wondering if she should say what was in her mind. "Please don't tell her."
Amy glanced at Janet and both nodded in agreement.
"I…don't…think she feels the same way."
Amy was surprised to hear that. She had thought the incident that happened a few months ago brought them closer together. Amy shifted closer and hugged the young mature woman. The only way to comfort her was to remind Nadia of her relationship with the brunette, the numerous obstacles they went thru to get to this point.
2 weeks later, 3 months before the wedding
Nadia had to work late, so Amy planned a romantic dinner for two at home. After dinner, she and Lucy danced for a long moment in the living room before settling down on the couch to watch a romantic movie. It would be better than going out to a fancy restaurant since she still feels uncomfortable dancing with a woman in front of strangers.
Lucy thought it would be one of those nights where she would be allowed to sleep over but only by herself but she was wrong because after taking a shower and opening the bathroom door, what she saw surprised her. She thought she had to wait until marriage. Inside the bedroom, curtains were closed, ceiling light was turned off, and only one lamp was turned on. Who is sitting on one side of the bed is her sexy soon to be wife dressed in gold satin lingerie. Lucy quickly slipped into bed and kissed her lover good night. She wasn't sure what Amy was thinking of until she placed her head down against the pillow and made herself comfortable on her side of the bed. "oh"
No words need to be said at this point. There is no need to rush. Lucy has no intention of stopping her this time. Amy is still not comfortable with the lights on, but Lucy didn't mind. She may be not be able to see but she could feel. Holding onto the blonde's hips, she moaned in ecstasy as her lover rocked against her core. Her right hand glided up along the curves of her lover's perfect body, gently caressing her lover's breast. Her left hand then did the same, sliding over her erect nipples. "ohh...Ammyy..." Their breathing became quick, both moaning and moving in synchronization. This is what she had thought about. This is what she had fantasized about. This time is hotter than the last time and definitely more comfortable in her own bed.
Lying side by side, both were letting their bodies relax after a long moment of passionate lovemaking.
"Happy Birthday" Amy couldn't think of anything to get her. So she asked herself what would Lucy want for her birthday? It was quite difficult because Lucy could have anything she wanted with the money she has. After saying it out loud to herself, it was quite obvious what Lucy would want on her birthday.
"Thank you…." This time is different from the last time. Lucy has no doubt Amy would be more comfortable each time they do it. Showering together would be a possibility. A sense of déjà vu washed over her just thinking about it. Doing it on her birthday and showering together. She wondered if she had done this before with Kristin. "We should do this more often."
Amy heard and a chuckle escaped but she wasn't surprised that her lover would say that. She shifted over and rolled on top of her lover's naked body, resting her head on her shoulder. A year ago, she didn't think she could do what she just did. Time has changed everything. Events that happened changed everything. "Lucy…"
"hmm…"
"Not as often as you would like to, okay?" Amy wanted to let her know that as much as she enjoyed it, it's not going to happen whenever she wants it.
Lucy knew that. "whenever you want…..Just not once a year, okay?"
Amy couldn't resist letting out another laugh into the crook of her lover's neck. They're not married yet, but it made her wonder if this is what married couples talk about after making love; they could talk to each other about anything.
"And not in public."
"huh?" Lucy wasn't sure what Amy was referring to until she felt Amy's hand on her hand that had been gently kneading Amy's firm buttocks. "okay." At the same time, both laughed uncontrollably. What they were laughing at was what they witnessed when they went food shopping that day. They saw a couple walking from the parking lot to the market. What the man did caused both of them to stare at them. Other people also noticed. The man was grabbing his girlfriend's breast playfully while they were walking and the girlfriend pushed him away. They were just having some fun of course…in public. Lucy couldn't help but wonder what Brooke said about her when they were together. Brooke said she couldn't keep her hands to herself. Was that how she used to be? Naa….that's what a pervert would do…I would never do that, I can control myself. Kissing the blonde in public is still off limits and Lucy is fine with that. Her hands gently swiped on her lover's back from the shoulder to her buttocks, up and down, repeatedly. The silly conversation made them both giggle at the same time. Lucy let out a sigh of happiness, a feeling of completeness with no worries, at least not at this moment. She anticipated a lot of problems coming her way since her fiancée wanted a family with kids. Lucy tried not to think about that right now and relished the moment.
Amy knew it wasn't the right time or the right moment. But she couldn't help it because she's worried about her friends. "Have you seen Alexis lately?" It's been a while since she talked to or seen Alexis. Alexis didn't show up at the YMCA or the self-defense class since that night Lucy proposed to her.
"Yes" Lucy had been occupied with wedding arrangements and most important of all her outfit. She gave Alexis that job. Since she didn't want to wear a white gown and couldn't find anything on the internet that she liked, she called Alexis to design it for her, something that looked feminine, not a suit, something that wouldn't steal the spotlight of her bride, and most important of all, something that feels comfortable.
Amy told her about Nadia's situation.
"They're still young."
"That's what I told her."
"Do you want me to talk to her?"
"Can you?" Amy lifted her head and hovered over Lucy's face. "But don't let her know I said anything. Just say you noticed."
"Are you asking me to lie? Mrs. Reynolds"
"I'm asking you not to say what's unimportant, Mrs. Bradshaw."
"Mrs. Bradshaw?...hmm…sorry, I can't, I don't like the sound of that."
"Then how about Mrs. Smith?"
"mm…no…that just sounds so boring.."
"Well, I don't like Walker-Smith, that's too long…Walker-Smith…how did you even come up with that? It sounds so…weird. Skye Walker-Smith?" Amy contorted in confusion and saw that Lucy was too.
"I have no idea either." Both chuckled at the silliness of their conversation because both knew that they couldn't use their original last names.
"Thank you, Mrs. Walker-Smith." Amy leaned down to kiss the brunette.
"you're welcome, Mrs. Walker-Smith." There was no doubt in Lucy's mind that Amy would take the new name, no matter how ridiculous it sounded. Lucy rolled on top of her lover and continued where they left off.
The next morning while eating breakfast in the dining room, Amy came to realize that Lucy had totally misunderstood what they talked about last night because Lucy was talking to Nadia not Alexis.
"When I was younger, I had plenty of girls who were interested in me and I went out with a few of them."
Amy came in a moment ago and had no idea why her lover would be talking about her past. She didn't like what she heard because Lucy sounded arrogant, like the 18 year old. That's what her ex Bobby would say.
Lucy looked at Amy who was standing at the counter and waiting for the coffee maker to fill her cup. She hoped Amy doesn't interrupt her at this moment because she has a point to make. "How many girls have you dated?"
"Just…Alexis…" Nadia said in embarrassment and took a bite of scrambled eggs.
"mhm…" Lucy took a sip of her coffee and noticed that Nadia was uncomfortable with the conversation. "A lot of people think that I'm a slut…" That got Nadia's attention. "I know that's what they say behind my back, because I dated so many women in my younger days…" She didn't have to explain to Amy that she didn't do anything with them because Amy knows that her first time was with her…that's what she thought until she met her ex. "It's because I dated so many of them, I realized what I want and what I don't want." She glanced at Amy who took a seat next to her. "I guess what I'm trying to say is…"
"I know what you're trying to say, but I know Alexis is for me."
Lucy knew it wouldn't be that easy. Nadia is madly in love. She can't blame her. Alexis is hot.
"Amy, how many guys have you dated?"
Amy tried to think back and counted with her fingers. "mmm…"
"Really…Amy…that many?" Lucy thought it was just 2, Bobby and Ethan. The right side of her lips lifted up and all could tell that Lucy was disgusted. She wouldn't be if they were females.
"Most of them are just one date, nothing happened." Amy said as she lightly tapped two times on her lover's cheeks, whose look of disgust faded.
"So you see…if Amy had never dated those jerks, she wouldn't have known that they're not what she is looking for."
"umm…Lucy…Ethan…is not a jerk."
"Right, sorry…but you know what I mean, Nadia." She realized that Nadia misinterpreted her intention after hearing her sudden reaction.
"Is she breaking up with me? Did she tell you that she wanted to break up with me? Is that why you're saying all these things?" Nadia stood up with a look of worry.
Amy was about to say something but stopped herself when Lucy spoke.
"Nadia, tell me what you love about Alexis." Lucy said calmly and motioned her to sit down.
"I love her because…she's not afraid of anything, she's strong, she's kind, she's sociable and she's…hot.." Nadia cleared her throat in embarrassment. She knows that the inside of a person matters more than the physical appearance. But she can't deny that the beauty of her girlfriend is one of the things that attracted her.
"…and why do you think Alexis loves you?"
Nadia's brows knitted together so deeply, one could see a straight line from one end to the other. "I…I…I…"
"Ohh…Nadiaaaa…." Amy couldn't help feeling sorry for her friend. "You're kind, you're considerate, you're friendly, you're beautiful, and you have the heart of an angel, anyone who knows you would fall in love with you."
Lucy cleared her throat, feeling as though her point just got flushed down the drain by her lover. So she decided to say it straight out. "You and Alexis have different personalities. She's very straightforward, more than any one of us, you're not. She's not afraid being the center of attention, in fact, sometimes I feel she wanted to attract attention, you're not like that. She does things that a normal person wouldn't do. You two are completely different. I don't know how you two ever got together."
"Lucy!" That wasn't what Amy wanted her to say. It sounded like Lucy wanted to convince Nadia to break up with Alexis.
"I think…it's for the best that they…."
"you, you wanted me to get to know her. You said, we would be good for each other. I didn't believe how I could ever love someone who is so different from me…but I did and I fell in love with her." Nadia explained.
What was I thinking before? Lucy glanced at Amy whom she could tell is upset with her. I am definitely not getting any tonight or ever, until the wedding night.
"Amy, can I talk to Nadia alone, please?" She expected Amy to give them a moment but nope.
"Nadia, you are a beautiful, caring and a loving person. Don't ever forget that." Lucy paused for a short moment and when Nadia nodded, Lucy continued. "Sometimes, you can see things more clearly if you let her go." Lucy took a glance at Amy and at Nadia who were both focusing on her. She thought that they would understand but again nope.
"but I don't want to break up with her…Did she tell you she wanted to break up with me?"
"No." Lucy had no idea what was going on with their relationship until Amy told her to talk to her last night. But the more they talked, the more certain her thinking was right. Their relationship won't last. It would be better to break it off, the sooner the better.
"Then why are you telling me to break up with her?" Nadia was confused at how this conversation even began. She and Alexis hadn't been the same as what they used to be, but she didn't feel that they're at the 'breakup' point.
"how is your relationship with Alexis? I mean, do you think that your relationship is so strong, that nothing can break you girls apart?"
Nadia thought so the first 2 years they dated, but not anymore. Just recently, she felt that they became even more distant. They didn't have that much to talk about. She thought that was normal in a relationship. She thought that they have passed that stage where silence is no longer an awkward situation. But in that moment where Alexis said she wasn't ready for marriage, she sensed that it could be something else, not just because of their age, but because Alexis didn't feel the same way about her.
Lucy nodded in understanding when she didn't get a response. "Have a talk with her. Ask her what's going on…and when she hesitates, then just tell her how you feel, tell her what you want."
"when she hesitates?" It sounded like the brunette already knows what her girlfriend was thinking of.
"I mean if she hesitates." Lucy corrected herself.
"Maybe I should act like nothing's wrong."
"ohhh….Nadiaaa…" Amy couldn't stand it anymore and hugged the fitness instructor firmly. This is exactly why she asked Lucy to talk to Alexis to see what is going on first. "Okay, act like nothing's wrong. And if you want, Lucy can talk to Alexis…"
"No, don't. I'll…talk to her."
2 weeks later
Lucy was right. Amy was upset with her and didn't let her sleep over after that day.
"Amy, please let me in." Lucy said from outside of the door.
Amy swung the door open. "I'm still mad at you." During these 2 weeks, she didn't even pick up Lucy's call. But she knew she had to sooner or later since the wedding is two months away and they haven't taken wedding photos yet.
Seeing the opportunity, Lucy quickly led herself in and closed the door.
"Don't you see what I was trying to do?" Lucy tried explaining on the phone but Amy hung up on her. She tried texting too but that didn't work either.
"What I want was for you to talk to Alexis, find out what's going on, not talk to Nadia. Now she hasn't been the same since that day because she thinks Alexis is going to break up with her."
"Did she talk to her?"
"What do you think?" Amy glared at her lover.
Lucy shrugged her shoulders. Since she wasn't allowed in the house and she hasn't seen Nadia for 2 weeks or talk to Alexis about her relationship, she has no idea.
"She would have told me if she did." Amy crossed her arms and flopped down on the couch.
Seeing how angry her fiancée is, Lucy remained silent and sat on another couch and waited for Amy to speak or rather waiting for permission to speak.
"we have to help them. I don't want to see them break up."
Taking the hint that Amy is allowing her to speak, Lucy took a seat next to her.
"if they were meant to be together, they will end up together." Lucy said calmly as she held Amy's hand. "…just like us…" She paused to let her words sink in. "I don't know what's going on with their relationship, but from what I can see, their relationship won't last…"
"Lucy!"
"hear me out." Lucy extended her hand. "You and I know that Nadia is madly in love with Alexis. But Alexis, I don't see that in her. I actually feel sorry for Nadia to be in that type of relationship. It must be difficult for her and I don't want to see her struggling to keep that relationship together. They're very different from each other."
"Lucy!"
"I know. I know. We're very different too. But our personalities have a lot in common. We both have very strong personalities. But Nadia, she's that type who will go out of her way to try to please Alexis…That's exhausting…don't you think?"
Amy is speechless because what Lucy said is exactly how she felt when Lucy didn't want to stay with her. It was very exhausting and frustrating.
"Nadia deserves someone better, someone who loves her for who she is. Nadia has weaknesses and so do all of us." Lucy could tell Amy is paying full attention to her by the way she is looking at her, unmoved. "You…didn't want to tell your friends about me and I didn't like that. No matter what I do, I can't change your mind." She reminded her about the time when she went to pick up her from school. One of her classmates who is a guy asked if he could get a ride to the market nearby. Once inside the car, both knew it was only an excuse because he asked her a lot of questions. Knowing how Amy felt, Lucy didn't say anything about their relationship. At the end of the ride, Lucy did say she is unavailable but the guy gave her his number anyway.
"And that's what I love about you…because you're strong, you know what you want and you stick to it. But Nadia, she's not like us."
It's an explanation Amy wasn't expecting and could feel that the Keira she used to know has fully come back to her.
"She deserves someone to love her for who she is." Amy said as she softly caressed Lucy's cheek.
Lucy smiled after finally getting her lover to agree. "I think…they should give each other some space. It'll be good for her."
"But how do we convince Nadia…." Amy stopped and snapped her head towards the direction of the door. Their hearts instantly jumped by the loud sound of the door slammed shut. "Nadia, is everything okay?"
It was a rhetorical question. It wasn't just her behavior, it was her eyes. Amy quickly approached and held the young woman with the medium straight soft brownish hair in a tight embrace. "Sshhh…shh.." Stroking her back, Amy tried to calm the young woman who began crying quietly on her shoulder.
Tonight, Nadia was supposed to be at work. But Nadia switched it with another chef when she got a call from Michel who invited her to have dinner with them. It was his birthday and she had no idea until she got there. There wasn't anything to be suspicious about since she had dinner with Alexis' family many times. She even went to their house uninvited sometimes to visit Ashley even when Alexis wasn't around. She came to love Ashley as her own little sister and respected Michel as her own father. When dinner was about to start, she found it strange that Alexis had yet to come home. As she was about to take a seat, she saw Alexis entering the dining area with another young woman and from the look on Alexis' face, she could tell that Alexis wasn't expecting her to be there.
"Who is she?" Amy asked, sitting next to Nadia.
"She said she's her friend."
"coworker?"
Nadia shook her head. "a friend from college"
"Did she introduce you as her girlfriend?" Lucy asked.
"No…"
The moment they heard, Lucy and Amy knew the possibility of Alexis cheating on her would be possible. But that thought quickly went away after hearing Nadia's next comment.
"I…I…don't remember." The moment Alexis came in with that woman, all Nadia could think of was that Alexis was seeing someone else. She couldn't hear a word that Alexis said. She didn't even catch that woman's name.
"Then what happened?" Amy said, holding Nadia's hand to comfort her.
"I…didn't feel well, so I left." It's true. She wasn't faking it. Her stomach was tied in knots seeing Alexis with another woman so she excused herself even before dinner started.
It didn't surprise Lucy. If she was Amy, Amy wouldn't just leave. She would get to the bottom of it and so would she.
"maybe she's just a friend."
"No…I can tell, by the way she looks at her, she's not just a friend."
"What did Alexis do? Did she run after you? Did she stop you from leaving?" Amy asked.
When they saw tears again running down her face, they knew the answer.
"I can't believe her!" Alexis and Nadia are both her friends. But Amy felt closer to Nadia because they live together and she likes Nadia's personality more.
"There has to be an explanation." Lucy said calmly.
And there it is, Amy found that Lucy and Alexis have some sort of connection. If Alexis did something wrong, Lucy would be the first one to defend her and vice versa. Amy knows that they don't have 'that' type of relationship, but she couldn't help but wonder if her lover will still be on Alexis' side if Alexis did in fact cheat on Nadia.
"I'll talk to her" Lucy said in a gentle voice. "But Nadia, whether she is seeing someone else or not, I still think it's good for you to see what other opportunities are out there, you know…give each other some space…and some time…"
"whaatt?" Nadia heard but didn't like the sound of it. Giving each other space would be like 'breaking up'. During the last 2 weeks, she had not seen or talk to Alexis. She didn't have the courage to ask Alexis because she was afraid that Alexis would tell her what she didn't want to hear. She was hoping that by not asking, the 'phase' that Alexis is going thru would end and Alexis would call her when she's ready. But each time the phone rings, her body would jump, her heart would skip a beat, she didn't want to pick it up because picking it up could mean their relationship is over.
All could tell that Nadia didn't want to by the way she said it. Lucy bent down in front of her. Holding her hand firmly with both hands, she looked into the innocent woman's eyes. "It hurts, Nadia. I know. I went to Reykjavik alone for 2 years after my ex broke up with me."
Amy wanted to say something but didn't interrupt.
Lucy reached out with her right hand and held on to Amy's hand firmly. "But look where I am now. It's going to take time and when that time comes, you'll look back and realize how foolish you were. But it's good that it happened, otherwise I wouldn't be able to feel what I'm feeling right now." She turned her eyes towards her lover while squeezing her hand. "…I am happier than I have ever been." She returned her eyes to Nadia. "Do you understand what I'm trying to say?"
Sniffing in loudly, Nadia reached up to wipe her own tears. "I..should.." She sniffed in loudly again, having trouble getting her words out. "let her…go…" Just saying it broke her heart. She took in a deep breath and blew it out loudly to soothe her aching heart but it didn't help. Her head slowly turned to face Amy. At that instant, she realized what Amy was feeling the time she had to let the brunette go.
"It's going to get better, I promise." Lucy said with confidence and leaned forward to hug her and her lover, placing her head between them, one arm around Nadia, the other around Amy. "It's going to be okay." She turned her head slightly when she felt a soft silent kiss on her right cheek. Smiling at Amy, she understood what that was for. "Just don't go to Reykjavik, okay?"
Like Nadia, Amy let out a small laugh and came to realize that it was Lucy's charm, her thoughtfulness, and her ability to induce laughter even at situations like this into anyone who's listening that had captured her heart when she was still a DEB.
"I don't even know where that is."
The unexpected response coming from the girl who stopped crying caused all to chuckle and hold each other tighter.
Lucy didn't think she would be getting another surprise so soon. Not only did she get to sleep over, she got to do more than that.
"Ohh…Ammyyy…" With arms wrapped around her naked lover who's sitting on her lap, Lucy placed a trail of wet kisses on her neck before capturing her mouth in another open mouth kiss. They had never done this before and she wasn't sure if she did it with Brooke. But her ex isn't on her mind right now, what's in her mind is feeling her lover's breasts against hers, her lover's hot throbbing wet area pressing against the lower part of her belly again and again and again.
Breathing heavily, Amy stopped her movement, allowing herself to rest for a moment on Lucy's lap with long legs spread apart. Leaning their foreheads against each other, both tried to catch their breaths. "Are you going to talk to Alexis tomorrow?" Amy said, her private throbbing in rhythm with her heart.
"I have to see her tomorrow anyways." Lucy placed a short kiss on her lips. "Don't worry, Nadia is going to be fine…and if she wants to get away for a while, I'll go with her."
And there it is again, this is what made her love Lucy more and more. Amy didn't think of that. It would be difficult for Nadia to have to see Alexis again. She could just imagine how awkward it would be for both of them, more so for Nadia.
"We'll take the Eurail and we could do what we did before, she'll like that." Lucy said as she continued to kiss her collarbone from one side to the other.
"That's a good idea, it'll take her mind off Alexis."
"mhmm" What Lucy wanted to do right now is not talk about Nadia or Alexis. With their bodies so close together, she wanted to do something else.
"do you remember your ex?"
Lucy isn't sure why Amy asked but responded anyways without thinking and continued pressing kisses on Amy's neck. "no"
"oh…" Amy just realized Lucy only said that to convince Nadia.
"I'll take her to gay bars, so she could meet other people okay? Can we not talk about this now?" Lucy devoured Amy's mouth and hoped Amy would stop talking and get back to making love.
"mmm…mmm…."
When Amy pulled away from the kiss, Lucy was a little disappointed, knowing that she had something else to say.
"this…" Amy swallowed to catch her breath. "…this…isn't working for me…"
Lucy jerked back, her entire body stopped. A thought then crossed her mind, the scariest thought. She had never thought of it until now, at this moment. She had kissed other women before. She had made out with other women before, she had touched other women before and she knows that she was always been able to turn them on. So she knows the problem isn't her. It's her lover. Amy is not gay, she knew that. It sounded like Amy was turned on, her quick breathing and moaning. Was she faking it the whole time? That thought quickly disappeared after Amy pushed her down and shifted herself into position.
"..ohhh…Ammyyy.." Lucy closed her eyes, thrusting her head back against the pillow, feeling the intense sensation as Amy glided up and down against her private. She doesn't have to ask if this position is working. The moaning from Amy confirms that it is. Then all of a sudden, her mind felt numb, clear of everything except for one thing after hearing 3 words from her lover. I love you. It's completely dark as if her mind is being pulled into a deep black hole. All she heard is a voice, the same words spoken by her lover, but the sound of this voice is unfamiliar. Her eyes then opened when she felt a kiss on her lips.
Amy captured her lover's mouth in a deep hot kiss as she continued to move her hips slowly, soft and hard. An involuntary moan followed by quick breathing escaped her mouth…again and again. Her heart instantly beat faster as if heat just shot up from her private thru the veins to her main organ of life.
Lucy knew what that was, what she just experienced. What she wasn't sure of was who it was she was doing it with, the same thing she's doing now with her soon-to-be wife. She wasn't sure if it was her ex, if it was, then that wouldn't matter. If it wasn't, who else could she have been with? Her heart pounded even faster than before. Not knowing the unknown would do that. Does it really matter at this point? She liked to believe that it doesn't but she couldn't deny the small sense of fear instilled into her, just like the moment when she thought that Brooke left Anthony because of her, a feeling of betrayal.
Betrayal. It happens to all of us at one point in our lives. Most of the time was unintentional. Lucy could still remember those words from the one she respected, her father's loyal subordinate. Uncle Joe, that's what she called him. He had no choice. That's what he said to her after she killed Schaeffer. Schaeffer was threatening him, using his family to force him to give away her location. But luckily, she was able to escape by jumping from one rooftop to the next, injuring herself in the process, giving her a scar in her leg. A few of her followers were not so lucky. After that escape, it made her think twice about the people who were his father's followers, even Uncle Nick. But Scud was able to convince her that Uncle Nick could be trusted. Without Uncle Nick, she would never have been able to use Uncle Joe to capture the one who killed her father. If Schaeffer could do it, so could he. Uncle Nick suggested to use the same method on Schaeffer's men, the ones who worked for him for the sake of money not loyalty and there were many of them. All he needed Uncle Joe to do was what he was forced to do, to tell Schaeffer that Lucy Reynolds had been captured. What Schaeffer was expecting that night in the wooded area was taking care of the last family member of the Reynolds who could potentially pose a threat to him. He wasn't the only who was surprised. Uncle Joe had no idea until that night that it was a setup. Schaeffer died knowing that his plan had backfired and knowing that his men had betrayed him. As for Uncle Joe, she forgave him.
Next day
Lucy went to see Alexis in her office building to look at the designs of her wedding outfit. It wasn't what she expected. She expected Alexis to be done by now or, at least, have a good design. Knowing how Alexis is, she wasn't afraid to let her know that she was disappointed. Sitting in the bar area of a restaurant, Alexis took a gulp of Raspberry Amaretto Sour. Lucy got herself a drink with a little alcohol and waited for her friend to open up to her. This is one side of the hot young woman she had never seen before, as far as she can remember. Alexis looked unhappy, worried, and occupied with a lot of problems.
"Did she tell you?" Looking down on the table, Alexis spoke in a sad tone as her fingers unknowingly kept turning her glass.
"What?" Lucy knows who, just not what.
"she broke up with me."
"Whaaaaatttt?" Lucy was totally confused. Her job was to find out what's up with Alexis. She didn't think Nadia would actually do what she told her yesterday without finding the truth first. "Why?" If Alexis didn't do anything wrong, Nadia wouldn't have broken up with her. Now she's very curious to know if Nadia was right…Alexis is cheating on her. "Please don't tell me you cheated on Nadia."
"What! No!"
"Oh…Thank goodness" If she did, Lucy wasn't sure if she could continue being friends with her.
Alexis blew out another big sigh and rubbed her tired eyes, frustration shown on her face. She had not been able to get a good night sleep for days. Her mind wasn't clear. It was nobody else's fault but hers and she hated herself for it.
Lucy was very anxious to know but kept her cool and patience.
"Do you remember the first day we met?"
Alexis was hoping that Lucy would so she didn't have to tell her the story again. After taking another big gulp, she retold the story of her best friend and her best friend's brother who asked her out and who didn't believe she is gay. She had to prove it by kissing her sister whom she had a crush on. It was that night when Lucy proposed, she ran into her friend in the same restaurant.
"I haven't seen her for years. She still looks good." Alexis said in a dull tone and returned her eyes on the table, doing the same thing with her fingers, turning the glass around and around.
If someone ran into an old friend, they should be excited. Hearing her sad tone, Lucy felt something was wrong.
"She's my…first…" Looking sadly, Alexis downed another big gulp. It was something that she never told anyone about, not even Nadia or her grandmother or her mother.
"Your first? But you said she's straight."
"We…got a little drunk…" Alexis downed the last drop and asked the bartender for another. Feeling a little dizzy, she propped her elbow on the table and placed her forehead into the palm of her hand.
Lucy understood. When she was at Yale, she got drunk a few times but not to the point where she couldn't make it back home. If she did get into trouble, she had bodyguards to protect her. She once read an article in a magazine that a lot of girls got sexually assaulted after getting drunk in parties especially members of sororities who were pushed by peer pressure to attend those types of parties. She was very surprised that it was happening even in college. So she knew what to expect even before entering the university.
"Is that why you didn't keep in touch?" If they did keep in touch, Alexis would have known her best friend was in London. She could just imagine how awkward it would be at that moment when they woke up.
It sounded like the brunette was accusing her of taking advantage of her best friend when she was drunk. "No! She let me. She knew what she was doing." Alexis realized she had overreacted when the bartender hesitated on giving her the drink since she was being so loud.
"She's fine." Lucy assured the bartender.
Alexis wanted to make sure that the brunette understood that it was consensual sex despite the fact that they were a little drunk. "You know how it is…in college…girls experiment with that sort of thing." She said in the same dull tone. It wasn't an experiment for her. She knew exactly what she wanted. "She said…pretend it didn't happen…so I did…and…..it hurts…here…" Alexis stared at the brunette while patting twice on her own heart.
The frequency of their emails slowly decreased as time passed by. She had her own life and her friend had hers. She knew where her friend lived. If for any reason, they needed to talk to each other, they could via email. When the investment scam was broadcasted all over the world, she was glad she didn't keep close contact with her friend. She even closed her email account and got a new phone number just to make sure nobody especially paparazzis could hack into her account to find out who her friends are. The last thing she wanted was some stranger trying to get some information about her family from her friend.
"But at least you got a chance to be with her." Lucy let out a small smile.
Alexis smirked at the brunette who seemed to understand her more than anyone. "That's what I said to myself…back then…" Alexis shook her head to try to get rid of the light dizziness. "At least…we can still be friends." She said as she placed her hand on the brunette's shoulder. "Seeing her with someone else is better than not seeing her at all…right?"
With brows raised, Lucy had to disagree with the woman who's a little drunk. She noticed how much Alexis is like her father. "I can't. It hurts too much." Lucy took a gulp of her drink. She turned to the woman who still had her hand on her shoulder. "So what happened?"
More people were coming in. Noises were getting louder. As Alexis was about to speak, a man interrupted them.
Not now. Lucy was anxious to know. Both realized that it wasn't the right time or the right place to talk when the man introduced himself. Lucy wasn't sure if he was interested in her or Alexis. It didn't matter, Lucy gave the man an excuse and both left the restaurant. Talking and walking were definitely not a good idea since it was cold out and Alexis was a little drunk.
Sitting in Lucy's BMW on the passenger side, Alexis reclined the seat back to make herself more comfortable, leaning her tired body against the black leather seat. It was not completely dark. The lights were off inside the car. Lucy could still see the guilty expression on her face from the lights shining through the window from the street light posts. If she didn't cheat on Nadia, then why? "What does she want?"
"This has nothing to do with her."
Alexis responded so quickly, it sounded like she was defending her first love and Lucy noticed.
"It doesn't?" It didn't make sense to Lucy because she thought this situation began when the woman showed up.
There was a moment of silence as they both stared at each other.
One drop, then another, unable to hold in her tears, Alexis covered her face. "Damn it!...It's me…it's what I want." She sniffed in loudly into her palms. After a short moment, she let her hands down, letting the brunette see her face full of tears. "That feeling…all came rushing back…the moment I saw her." She paused to see if the brunette understood what she was talking about. But she couldn't tell. "We talked, we laughed…just like we used to before…and…and…" Alexis swallowed and sniffed in her tears. "I thought…I could…" Leaning against the seat, Alexis looked up, inhaled and exhaled loudly a couple of times. "She talked about that night. She said…she said…"
The pace that Alexis was talking was driving Lucy crazy. The incomplete sentences confused her.
"She said…she wondered what would have happened if…she gave us a chance." Alexis slowly turned to see the brunette's reaction and what she saw was brows knitted together. "She…kissed me…" She expected anyone who heard her story would be shocked and that's what she saw in the brunette. "…and I let her…"
The tone of her voice didn't go by unnoticed. It sounded guilty. Even though that's all they did and she didn't initiate it, that would be considered…cheating…in a way, but it's forgivable. That's what Lucy was thinking of. "Why?"
"Why?" Alexis was confused. She expected the brunette to understand because she did that once to her. At that moment, she had forgotten that the brunette in front of her was not the Keira she used to know.
"Why did she kiss you? Why does she want to be with you now after so many years? What's her story? And what happened after you let her?" It sounded very confusing to Lucy since Alexis didn't say when the events took place. She would think that her best friend would have known about Nadia being her girlfriend. That should be one of the first questions to ask when they met. If Alexis didn't tell her friend, then Alexis was definitely trying to hide it from her first love. If she did, then her friend is definitely trying to break them up.
It then all made sense when Alexis told her that it happened inside the car at the airport, their last moment together. That was the morning after that night Nadia went to her house for dinner.
"I don't know why she kissed me. I don't know if she wants to be with me. She left after she did that. I want to know why." She said in one breath. Tears continued to stream down her face. "I want to know her story. I want to know if she wants to be with me."
Lucy didn't expect that to be her response because if Alexis wanted to know something, she would have found out. Besides they were at an airport, she could have ran after her best friend if she wanted to unless her friend won't tell her. What Lucy also didn't expect was to see Alexis crying uncontrollably.
"But I CAN'T! I CAN'T!" Leaning against the back seat, Alexis covered her face as she continued to sob loudly. It wasn't until Lucy heard Alexis cursing…at herself that she finally understood why. She has Nadia already. She was afraid the answer would be yes, I want to be with you. But then what? Her guilty conscience wouldn't allow her to do so.
"Then why did you let Nadia go?" Now she doesn't have anybody. Lucy felt a little guilty for giving Nadia the idea. But deep inside, she truly believes that Nadia would be happier without the bold and beautiful fashion designer.
Alexis sniffed in loudly before putting her hands down. "I can't. I can't." She shook her head from side to side, no longer as loud as before.
Lucy wasn't sure what she meant by that. She wanted to ask her to clarify but saw Alexis' eyes closing and repeating what she said. Her words trailed off in mumbles.
Holding the tired woman by the waist, Lucy stood at the door, waiting to get inside Alexis' house.
After Michel opened the door, he was very surprised to find his daughter in that state. Lucy made a guess that he might not have known about the break-up yet, so she didn't say anything.
Inside Alexis' bedroom with lights on, Lucy could now see Alexis' cheeks were rosy red. The alcohol has taken affect. Lucy took her shoes and socks off and pulled the blanket over her. When she dabbed the warm wet towel over her forehead and face, Alexis mumbled in discomfort. Her eyes squinted at the lamp light, struggling to open them.
"Turn…light…uf." It was unclear but Lucy understood and did as told. Her intention was to leave afterwards but stayed a little longer after hearing what Alexis had to say.
"Nadia is going to be fine. I'll take care of her and I'll tell her you said that." Lucy knew that she still cared for the fitness instructor, otherwise she would have been the one to break up with her not the other way around.
"Keira…" Alexis was struggling to lift her head up. Her head felt heavy. Her mind was extremely tired. Her head fell back against the soft pillow. Lucy leaned her ear closer when all she heard were words mumbled together.
"What's that?" Lucy remained still and silent as possible. The number of words that came out of her mouth was more than what she expected from the tired woman who's not in her normal state. Lucy then jerked back, not because she felt Alexis' lips on her cheek, but because of what she heard. "Alexis, what did you just say?...Alexis…."
There was nobody inside the house except her favorite blonde. Lucy was surprised to find that Nadia didn't take a day off after breaking up with Alexis the same day. Keeping herself busy with work to keep her mind off her ex, that might work too. But if it was Lucy, she preferred the other method…doing nothing and going on a long vacation.
"Oww!" Lucy wasn't expecting Amy to use her elbow and wasn't quick enough to block the hit to her arm. She meant to surprise Amy by snaking her arms around her waist, but knowing that Amy who used to be an agent would probably figure out that she was there the moment she walked inside the kitchen.
"Lucy! What are you doing? How did you get in here?"
"I love you too." Lucy winced in pain while holding her right arm. She stepped back to take a seat on the chair in the kitchen and allowed the blonde to rub her bruised area.
"How did you get in here?"
"I…got a copy of the key from Janet." Lucy flashed her signature smile, hoping what she did didn't upset her fiancée. She didn't get her permission yet.
"Key" It wasn't a question. It was a command. Amy extended her hand out and Lucy internally blamed herself for telling her the truth. She could have just said Janet let her in.
"But…Amy…."
"Key"
"It's in the living room" She wasn't sure what the big deal is since they'll going to be married in two months.
Amy returned to the sink to finish washing the vegetables. "Did you eat yet?"
"No" Lucy walked over and did what she had intended to do a moment ago. Wrapping her arms around her Amy's waist, she placed a kiss on her cheek. "What's wrong, Amy? Exam tomorrow?"
Amy turned into her arms. "Did you see Alexis?"
Lucy didn't think Nadia's problem was the reason for her to be so deep in thought. "Did Nadia tell you?"
"Tell me what?"
Lucy thought Nadia would at least have told her. When Amy heard, she was also very surprised with Nadia's decision. Lucy continued to explain what happened but didn't tell her about Alexis' first time. That was personal. She didn't think Alexis would want anybody to know that. All she said was how Alexis was crying and how she wanted to apologize to Nadia.
"Did she cheat on Nadia?"
Amy was speasking in a tone as if she had already sentenced Alexis as guilty.
"Nnnno! She's just her friend. She left already."
"Then why? They've been together for so long and now she's just going to let Nadia go."
"they're still young, they don't have as many experiences as we have." Lucy hoped by saying that, Amy would be convinced that there was nothing going between Alexis and her friend.
"What else did she say?"
Okay, that didn't work. Lucy didn't think so. It was difficult to keep her eyes locked into those powerful hazel green ones that could tell if someone is lying and hiding the truth from her.
"she's going thru a phase right now and when that phase passes, she's going to wish she never…"
"What else did she say!"
Lucy could see those once gentle hazel green eyes suddenly sparkled with dots of red, a fiery red. She understood her feeling. Her lover felt sorry for Nadia. Her lover saw herself as Nadia when she once rejected her love.
"Amy, do you remember the first time you fell in love?" Lucy wasn't sure if Amy could remember the first time she fell in love. But she knows it's definitely not her ex Bobby. "Do you remember what that felt like?"
"What are you saying?"
"I'm saying…Alexis wants to feel that way again."
That wasn't the only thing Alexis said to her an hour ago. There was something else, something she desperately wanted to know and she couldn't ask anyone except the one who said it. She'll just have to wait until tomorrow. But it made her wonder if that memory from last night, the one who whispered 'I love you' into her ear while they were making love, was none other than Alexis. It wouldn't surprise her because she did find Alexis attractive and when they first met, she thought Alexis was her girlfriend. It wasn't just that, it was what she said in the bar. 'Seeing her some of the time is better than not seeing her at all.' Lucy wondered if Alexis was talking about her not her best friend at that moment.
"She doesn't love Nadia anymore?"
"You know she does. If Nadia is in trouble, Alexis would be the first one to risk her life to save her. She doesn't want to hurt Nadia. She just wants…more."
Just five seconds ago hearing the brunette's explanation, Amy could feel her fist tightening because she was even more angry with Alexis. She can't see herself talking to her ever again for breaking Nadia's heart. But hearing the last words from the brunette, it brought back memories because that's how she felt when she wanted to break up with her ex. She wanted more. She didn't get that part of the memory back, the part where she was kidnapped by the brunette nor could she remember the part where she told her that she wanted more. But she slowly came to understand and realize that she had once been in Alexis' position when she dumped her ex as well as Nadia's position when she was dumped by her fiancée who's standing in front of her. The anger towards Alexis slowly dissipated. Without a word, Amy returned to what she was doing before, preparing to make dinner.
Lucy let out a sigh of relief when she was able to make Amy understand what Alexis was going thru without giving her all the details. One down and one to go. She hoped to God what Alexis said wasn't true because she knew that as much as Amy loves her, Amy might not be able to ignore it.
Sitting next to Amy, Lucy didn't expect her to be so quiet. "This is delicious." Lucy said, chewing a cube of stir fried tofu. She expected a response but didn't get any. "Nadia is going to be okay. I promise. I'll take care of her." Lucy placed her hand over Amy's and caressed it gently with her thumb. What she didn't expect was a blank stare. Something else is bothering her.
"is something…." Before she could finish, she was cut off.
"Do you remember the first time you fell in love?"
Her entire body froze, but just for 2 seconds. What Lucy heard, she realized the former blonde agent came to understand more than what she just told her about Alexis's situation.
"mhm…" Lucy scooped up a spoonful of rice with carrot into her mouth.
"you do?" Amy was a little surprised. It was only last night that Lucy said she couldn't remember her ex. Amy wondered if her memory came back today or was she talking about one of her girlfriends before her ex.
Lucy continued eating her dinner, but noticed that Amy was still staring at her as if expecting her to tell her more. So she did.
"She's beautiful. But she didn't notice me. The guys were all staring at her as if they had seen a goddess. One guy, he was practically drooling." Lucy put another spoonful of rice into her mouth and noticed Amy had not moved, still looking at her. "Just looking at her got my adrenaline pumping, you know that feeling, it's like nothing else matters, it's like she and I were the only ones in the room even though there were a lot of people around. So I made my move since none of the guys had the guts to do so." Lucy used a fork to pick up a piece of stir fried broccoli and put it in front of the Amy who took the bite. "We talked but it didn't go as well as I hoped. She's not into woman. But I didn't give up. It only made it more exciting. It only made me want her even more." Lucy said with excitement and put the last spoonful of rice into her mouth. She leaned back against the chair, letting out a big sigh with a smile plastered on her face, remembering that moment while staring into blank space. "I couldn't stop thinking about her…I want to hold her, I want to kiss her, I want to rip her clothes and…" Lucy cleared her throat when she realized she said too much and saw Amy frowning at her. Lucy immediately stood up and took her bowl and utensils towards the sink and began washing everything that was inside the sink.
"so I'm guessing this didn't happen when you were a teenager…I hope." Amy hoped not because having such a dirty mind at such a young age isn't normal, especially for guys.
"nope" Lucy grinned sheepishly.
Amy took her dish and placed it into the sink. "Then what happened?"
Lucy turned to look at her lover and returned her eyes back at the sink.
"she fell for me." Lucy shut off the water and took a wet towel to wipe the counter and the small round kitchen table.
"Why did you two broke up?" She once asked Scud that same question but Scud had no idea why Lucy broke up with her ex.
Without looking at Amy who was standing near the sink behind her, Lucy stopped what she was doing. "It's…a long story." She then continued to wipe the table.
"I want to know."
Lucy stopped and turned around. "Why?"
"If you were so obsessed with her, then why did you two break up?" Amy desperately wanted to know for a few reasons. Since they're going to be married soon, she wanted to know what ticked the brunette off or what the brunette did to cause her lover to call it quits. The other reason is what all couples are afraid of. It never occurred to her that it could happen to her until recently. "If you saw her now, what would you say to her?" Her agent eyes locked on to the brown ones. She had no doubt Lucy would understand why she asked the question because it was the explanation that she gave earlier about Alexis. It was too much of a coincidence that Alexis's and Nadia's relationship began falling apart when her college friend showed up. Even though Lucy denied it, Amy sensed that Alexis and her college friend weren't just regular friends.
It happened to a lot of couples. Alexis is no different from them. Couples tend to compare their other halves to their exes. Especially those who had been dumped, they tend to look back. Amy figured that Alexis must have been the one who got dumped.
"What would you do if she is standing in front of you right now?" Amy said in a serious tone. Her eyes darted at Lucy's from one to the other as she waited for her to respond but what happened next caused her to let out a sudden shriek when her waist was suddenly pulled forward, colliding their bodies together. Her mouth was then captured in a kiss, her body was spun around and pushed down on the small kitchen table. It happened so fast, before she realized what was happening, Lucy was already on top of her. Amy pulled her mouth away with both palms pushing against Lucy's shoulders.
Lucy noticed that Amy didn't like what she just did. She can't blame her. "My adrenaline was pumping through my veins when I saw her…at the church." The moment she said where, she saw the pupils dilate in those hazel green eyes. "Everyone was staring at her in her beautiful gown." She could feel Amy's palm no longer pushing her away. "Ethan was practically drooling when he saw her walking down the aisle." She could feel the body beneath her lowering her defenses, no longer tightened, no longer stiff. "Others were looking at her at the banquet but nobody had the guts to ask her to dance." Seeing the expression on Amy's face, Lucy knew Amy understood who she was referring to. "I didn't give up. She made me want her even more." Lucy said as she leaned down inch by inch. "I couldn't stop thinking about her." She closed the gap and kissed her as if it's the first time she felt those moist lips. "I want to hold her, I want to kiss her…I hope…she lets me." Lucy remained still, her eyes locked onto her lover's, her lips curled up when she saw a very little nod from her lover as if she was embarrassed to accept her request. But she realized what she thought she saw was only in her head when Amy pulled her in for a kiss, but only a short one.
Seeing those eyes beaming with lustful desire, Amy wouldn't be surprised if Lucy wanted to take her here and now, exactly like how she described. "I love you. But no." What Lucy said, Amy was taken in by it. She believed what Lucy said was true. It's not that she doesn't want to, it's just not the right time or the right place. They're in the kitchen, for God's sake…and she just ate. With a full belly of food, her body wasn't in the mood.
"No?...to which part?" Lucy said jokingly, which earned her a playful slap on her face.
At this moment, Amy heard something from outside and quickly pushed Lucy off her and got off the table. Letting anybody especially Nadia see them in that position on the table wouldn't be good for anyone.
Inside the living room, Amy approached Nadia who was about to head upstairs. The instant she moved one step forward, Nadia held her in a tight embrace and began crying on her shoulder. Amy expected that but Lucy was a little surprised by it. Amy wanted to say a lot of things but now isn't the time. Nadia was too tired to talk about it as well after working a full day.
In the living room, Amy sat next to Lucy with the tv on. They were waiting for Nadia to come down when she's ready. If she's not, Lucy intends to stay in the house until she is, that is, if she has permission to do so. Hearing footsteps from behind, Lucy turned her head.
"Hey"
"Hey" Dressed in blue long-sleeve pajamas, Nadia responded in a soft tone.
Lucy shifted towards the end of the couch and motioned her to sit between her and Amy who shut the tv off as Nadia took the offered seat. Lucy came for a reason and didn't see any way to give her the message without making the her cry, but she kept her tone soft and calm.
"I…saw her a few hours ago."
"you did?" Nadia said with a soft squeal as if she was going to cry again.
Lucy told her what every woman wanted to hear, how Alexis cried and how she apologized repeatedly without telling her why. Amy knew Nadia would cry and was prepared to have the tissues ready.
"You talked to her this morning?" Lucy asked in a gentle tone and Nadia sniffed in her tears and wiped her eyes as she recalled that moment when she found the courage to call Alexis.
"I asked her…what's going on with her…and…she…she hesitated." Nadia inhaled and exhaled loudly to hold in her tears. "I asked her…if she wants to be with me…and she didn't..say..anything." She extended her hand and took two more tissues to dry the continuous flow of tears. "So…I said 'it's over'." It was too much. She couldn't control fluids from falling down from her nostrils and eyes.
Lucy wasn't surprised that it happened that way. In most breakups, anger, cursing, and shouting were inevitable. She couldn't imagine Nadia yelling and cursing at Alexis. What she did expect, though, was Nadia demanding a reason. Anyone would. She wondered if Nadia had the courage to talk to Alexis if they ran to each other again. Alexis would, but Nadia, Lucy wasn't sure what Nadia would do…continue to be friends or avoid her. Alexis would want to continue to be friends, but Lucy knew better that this wasn't the time to talk about that. Lucy took hold of her hand and told Nadia her plan. "a 3 week vacation, just you and me…what do you think?" She could see that Nadia is thinking about it when she turned to look at Amy. "Amy has classes."
"I'm sorry." Amy apologized for not being able to be by her side in her time of need. "You two have fun…but Lucy…not so much fun…"
Lucy wasn't sure what she meant by that until two weeks later, the night before the trip.
"Don't drink too much."
"okay." Lying next to Amy, Lucy had her hands clasped together over the blanket, twiddling her thumb. She thought they would be doing something else when Amy led herself in and slipped into bed with her.
"Look after her, don't let her out of your sight."
"okay"
"I mean it, don't let anyone distract you. Don't let her drink so much cuz she's going to want to drink."
"okay"
"…and…and…what else…"
Lucy wondered when Amy would be finished. All she had to say was take care of Nadia. Actually she really didn't have to say anything.
Amy lifted herself up when she finally figured out what to say. "…and…"
It was when she hesitated that made Lucy turned towards her.
"…and honey…I know…nothing is going to happen…and not that I don't trust you or Nadia…but I don't want you share a bed with her if there…."
"Ammyyyy…of course I'm not going to do that…" Lucy contorted her face in disbelief.
Amy expected that and leaned in to place a kiss on her cheek, then snuggled close to her and hung her arm over her abdomen. "…sorry….." She can't help it. She had to say it to make sure Lucy knows how she feels about her sleeping with other women on the same bed even if they weren't going to do anything.
Lucy wasn't sure what she did to cause Amy not to trust her.
Trust. What seemed like only a few years ago, Lucy remembered what she had to do to gain her follower's trust. She can't blame them. In the eyes of her followers, she was a merely a little girl who wanted to seek revenge for her father. Even after getting her revenge, some still don't trust her to have the ability to lead them. She knew what her father was involved with. She came to know even more after her father died. Some of her father's followers quit because they didn't want to have a female as their leader. But she also had followers who owed their lives to her father, those stayed with her. Her position would have been given to her father's second or third in command if they didn't also die in the hands of Schaeffer's men. It was chaotic back then. Words were spoken behind her back, planning to 'dethrone' her. If it wasn't for Uncle Nick and her father's loyal followers, she would not have survived that time of turmoil. Taking her father's place wasn't a decision that she had to make, it was her destiny. Dissembling the organization was never an option. Leaving was not an option. That's why she was so shocked when she learned the reason she gave up her empire. She had thought the reason was because the police caught up to her. Never in a million years did she think it would be because of a woman, not just any woman, a government agent, a DEB.
It was difficult then, earning the trust of her followers. Those who didn't approve of her proposed someone else to take her father's place. That person was more capable than she was and more importantly, that person is a man and had been with her father's organization for many years. Even though he didn't have a high rank within the organization, he had a lot of people taking his side. If she didn't step down, they and there were many of them, threatened to leave what her father created. Lucy couldn't afford to lose so many people because losing them would weaken the organization which meant her life, the lives of her loyal followers would be in danger from enemies that her father had made over the years. That's not the only reason Lucy didn't want them to go. With so many of them leaving also meant that she had to give them the severance pay, compensation that they deserve, that they would ask for for what they had done over the years.
There was nothing that Uncle Nick could do to help since that was a problem within her organization and he had no right to interfere. What to do? The only thing Lucy could do was ask them what she could do to make them stay, what she could do to make them believe that she could do what her father once did, and make them approve her status as leader because stepping down was not an option. It surprised her when a young but very intelligent man, spoke his thought during the negotiation. That person was none other than Scud. His suggestion surprised everyone in the room even Lucy. Most thought Scud was out of his mind, even she thought so. But some believed it was a great idea. What he proposed was to steal the 45.5 carat diamond that's worth $350 million, known as the most famous diamond in the world, the Hope Diamond. The one who could steal that from the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History in Washington DC would be declared the leader. It was an insane idea. The first one to object to it was the man who wanted to be leader. Lucy had no idea how difficult it would be but she saw that it was her chance, a chance that she could prove to others what she was capable of. Since Scud suggested, she believed that he must have a plan. She hoped. So she agreed but that man hesitated. He had a better idea and it was a darn good one, the same one that Scud hoped that he will fall for but didn't. Scud's plan was to wait for him to try to steal it so he could get caught in the process of doing so. Getting him behind bars for a while would at least solve one of Lucy's problems. But Scud had a plan B if it didn't work. Plan B was to steal it.
Mission was successful after weeks of planning but some still refused to acknowledge her and left her organization. Lucy tried to persuade them but understood why they felt that way. It had nothing to do with her ability. It had everything to do with her gender.
Her next step was to make sure her father's businesses and power continue to grow. But how was she able to do that without the connections her father had? Most crime bosses didn't want to deal with a woman who wasn't even old enough to drink. Without connections, without trusts from other leaders, she had no information and nobody would even consider giving her a 'job'. Leaders didn't want to deal with her even if she had goods to sell. She had no choice but let the loyal followers of her father's negotiate in her place for the time being. But that didn't help much because they did not have the reputation, the respect or the intelligence that her father had. They had firearm deals that went wrong, confiscated by the FBI. The idea of making and selling drugs had been suggested by her loyal followers but Lucy, like her father, refused to do so. The idea of human trafficking was also discussed and Lucy let her followers know to never speak about that ever again. As time passed, money continued to pour out more quickly than coming in. Without money, there will be no followers. Without followers, there will be no power. Without power, there will be an end…an end to her life, her friends, and her followers. Before it comes to that, there was only one thing to do and that is to continue what she had done before. The Hope Diamond became the beginning of many heists, expensive jewelry especially diamonds, priceless artworks, bank robberies, and invaluable objects. Rumors spread like wildfire in the Underground. There was no proof, only an assumption. She somehow became known as the ruthless, notorious criminal mastermind, Lucy Diamond.
Trust. Lucy didn't realize she still had to do that, to earn the trust of the one whom she's going to marry soon until now.
"I booked 2 beds. Amy, I hope you understand that it's safer if we stay in the same room."
"okay...that's what I want you to do." Leaning her head against the Lucy's shoulder, Amy gently ran her fingertips over her collarbone.
"If they made a mistake and gave us one bed, I'll sleep on the sofa."
"Okay." Amy said softly.
"If there's no sofa, then I'll sleep on the floor. Amy…I…mm…mm…"
Lucy wasn't sure if she was able to convince her wife-to-be that she can trust her until she felt soft lips on hers, then a body pressed on top of hers. That's what she had been waiting for the last half hour. It's going to be 3 weeks of separation. She was hoping that she could do something like this the night before she leaves and she realizes Amy has the same thought. Her hands roamed underneath Amy's pajamas. As Amy was doing the same, Lucy moaned loudly in pleasure when she felt her sensitive areas being gently kneaded and caressed.
Amy came to know more about Lucy as well as herself. She knew that to stop a disagreement of any kind from turning into an argument, like situations like this, what she's doing to her fiancee now seems to always work. Feeling the soft skin of her lover, her mind spontaneously thought of the conversation she had with Max a few weeks ago. After they set the wedding date, she gave Max the good news. This time, she expected Max to congratulate her and she did. But she didn't expect Max to say something else. Max will always be Max.
"Are you sure about this, Amy?"
"Of course, I'm sure. Max, we've been thru a lot and…"
"I know you love her. What I mean is…can you live with her?"
Amy had no idea what her friend was talking about until she clarified. Max wasn't objecting to their marriage. Max was worried and acting like a mother because what she asked, Amy felt embarrassed about it, listening to it as well as responding to it. But Amy had to respond, to let her overly concerned friend know how she feels.
"Have you talked to her? I don't think she's expecting a sexless marriage. And you and I know what she's known for, besides her criminal activities…and she thinks she's still that person. Has anything changed? Did she get her memory back yet?"
Amy thought about interrupting but she's not sure if she should tell her the truth. It is personal.
"Even if she did get her memory back, a marriage without sex isn't going to last long. She may love you now, but in the future, she's not going to stand it…and she might…I hate to say it…but it is very possible that she might look somewhere else to get that…do you know what I mean? Are you going to be okay with that?..." There was no response. "...Amy?"
Amy decided to just tell her so she would stop worrying. "I already slept with her."
"oh...ohhh..." Max was surprised as expected. She didn't think Amy could, from the way she reacted when they had the conversation years ago.
Amy thought that would do it but nope, it didn't stop Max from asking more questions. Maybe it was the way she responded, it sounded like she didn't want to.
"It's going to be forever, Amy…and you probably know her better than anyone, she's going to expect…more."
Only after hearing this from Max, Amy realized how really, really bad it sounded. So Amy had no choice but to tell her more in detail how she felt when it happened, just like right now. The touch of the brunette's smooth skin set fire thru her entire body. The incredible sensation made her goose bumps rise. Her soft touch made her heart beat out of control. After the second night together, she was certain that no one and definitely not a man could make her feel that way. Not that she had any experiences with a man, she knew the difference. When they make love, it's about pleasing each other. Straight sex seems to be more about pleasing the man. That's what it seems like in most of the movies she watched.
"She's gentle, she's soft and smooth, her body is so f…"
"Okay, Amy, I get it."
"I never thought I could. But it was amazing and she made me feel so…"
"Amy! Really…I don't need to hear that. You're oversharing."
"Sorry, I just want you to know that you don't have to worry about me."
Amy thought that was the end of all the questions but again nope.
"Look, I'm not trying to separate you two. I just want to make sure you thought this through. I don't want you to have any regrets."
"I know, Max."
"What about kids? I know you always wanted to have kids of your own."
After telling Max her plan, Max was finally satisfied.
Her hands roamed all over the Lucy's body wherever they could reach. Amy found that Alexis was right. Each time they do it would be different and each time would be special. And each time, she learned something new. She couldn't imagine doing it with anyone else except the woman lying on top of her.
As they continued to feel and kiss each other, Lucy felt it's time to do something else. So she grabbed the sides of the pajamas top with both hands and pulled towards opposite sides, causing all of the buttons to pop out.
"What…are you doing?" If Amy wasn't out of breath, she would have understood what Lucy was doing. Lack of oxygen would do that to the brain.
Lucy expected something else to be staring at her besides a pair of hazel green eyes. She didn't realize Amy had a blue tank top underneath the long sleeve pajamas top.
"I'll buy you another one." Lucy grabbed the hem of her blue tank top and tried to do the same thing she did before. But it didn't work. It's harder than she thought. "What kind of material is this?"
"it would be easier to take it off." Amy said while giving Lucy a weird look.
Lucy tried again and again. "Damn it."
Looking at her gorgeous girlfriend, Amy came to realize that she may be a woman, but she has the mind of a man including sexual fantasies. Ripping her clothes off, she can allow that, but not others.
"I know what you're thinking of, but I'm not into that sort of thing." Amy said, letting out a laugh while looking at her frustrated lover.
"and exactly what do you think I am thinking of?" Placing her hands on both sides next to Amy's head, Lucy placed a short kiss on her lips, then let out a short laugh when Amy pulled her head forward, pretending to be looking into the inside of her brain.
"I can see there are a lot of dirty thoughts in there…mhm…rip…my…clothes…off, now why would you want to do that?" Lucy let out a small laugh. "mm...I see here…" Amy said as she moved Lucy's head from one side to the other. "…take a shower together….hat's not happening, okay?" Lucy pouted her lips while Amy moved her head back up, looking closely at her forehead. "...foreign objects…" Amy contorted her face in disgust. "…that is definitely, definitely not happening, okay, honey?"
"How about handcuffs?" Lucy saw handcuffs in the desk drawer and had always wondered why they were there.
The handcuffs brought back memories. "on you? Okay…" That wasn't what Lucy was thinking of. Amy knew that.
Both burst out in laughter for a moment and as it slowly came to a stop, Lucy locked her eyes down at her fiancée. Letting out a sigh of happiness, Lucy placed a gentle kiss on her lips, then another and another before looking straight into her lover's eyes again. "Tell me to stop if you don't want to."
Amy wasn't sure what Lucy meant by that. She expected Lucy to know by now that she wouldn't do something she doesn't want to. She swallowed in nervousness, realizing that they might be doing something different. Her heart began to pound faster on its own.
Amy had no idea how 2 women have sex until their first night together. Doing research on that topic never occurred to her. It would be easy to do so if she wanted to. All she had to do was take a look at the lesbian porn sites, but any kind of porn sites, whether it's lesbian or straight, disgusts her. Having been a government agent, she knew those sites weren't as harmless as they say. That's because viewers don't know what goes on behind the scenes and what kind of damage it does to the weak minds of old and young. She was once involved in a case where one of her fellow DEBS had to act as an underage girl interested in a career as a porn star. She herself didn't look young enough so she wasn't chosen. What they found out in that porn company was not only that some of the girls were under age, they found illegal drugs being distributed and other illegal activities.
Her sexual desire began to build up as her lips were gently captured, then her jaw and neck being kissed and left ear lobe being massaged at the same time. Lucy's actions brought back memories of that night in the hotel. The way she was being kissed at this moment is exactly like that. "mmm..." Amy moaned in pleasure in response to the pressure she felt against her core.
"Do you want the lights off?" Lucy said between kisses. She knew that Amy does but asked anyway, hoping that someday she would change her mind.
If Amy was talking to Max right now, she would tell her just how considerate and thoughtful the former criminal mastermind could be. The thought of making love with lights on whether it was with a woman or man was definitely not possible in her mind, at least not then. She wasn't sure why. But a man's genital is not something she's interested in seeing. Even when she started dating her ex Bobby, she found him to be good-looking, but did she ever want to touch him there or take a look? Absolutely not, because to her, that's one disgusting part of the male anatomy. Anything below the waistline is unappealing. Maybe it's because of that, her idea of making love had always been and should always be done in the dark. But this is different.
Lucy didn't hear a response and was surprised by it. She looked down on her lover and wondered what changed her mind. She didn't get an explanation. But that's okay. She saw the smile and took it as a sign to continue.
"uhhhhh.." Her hands gripped tight on the pillow. Her breathing became quicker than before. Her eyes closed on its own when she felt her nipple being licked and sucked on, then the other. What's the point of having lights on if she didn't want to see her lover making her love to her. She opened her eyes and realized that Luct had completely covered herself and her own lower body with the blanket. She can't see her lover but she can feel her. She came to realize what Alexis meant when she said each time would be different. Feeling the tip of her lover's tongue running from her belly down, then lower and lower..."Oh God..oh God..."
It wasn't what Amy thought, thank goodness, because if it was, she would have to put a stop to it before she allowed it to happen. Whether it was giving or receiving, oral sex, to her, is not something she's into, no matter how much she loves her.
There was a moment when Amy wanted Lucy to stop. She didn't say it, but somehow Lucy knew what she wanted. Maybe it was the trembling of her legs, maybe it was her loud long moaning or a different kind of sound coming from her mouth that sounded like she was in pain or maybe it was her nails digging deep into her lover's back that caused her lover to stop for a moment and asked if she wanted to continue. Whatever it was, it seemed that her brunette lover knew what she wanted.
Lying next to Lucy, Amy relaxed, letting the sensation leave her body as she inhaled and exhaled slowly. It was a feeling that she had never felt before. Max, she was so gentle. That thought she once had where she couldn't make love to the brunette was no longer there. She was so thoughtful. Lucy, for some reason, turned the lights off, before beginning her task. She made me cum more than once. She didn't think it was possible until their first night together. Max, you wouldn't believe it even if I told you.
As the pounding of her heart slowly came to a normal pace, a satisfying smile was plastered on her face until she heard what Amy said. It was more than a disappointment. Lucy wasn't sure what to think of it or how to respond. She felt as though her heart suddenly came to a stop. It made her think that everything that she thought before was all in her own mind. It made her think that what she just did was a bad idea. She felt like she ran out of time when Amy suddenly turned the lights on and rolled on top of her, expecting a response from her. Lucy remained as still as she can, trying not to show any emotion that could give her lover the signs that she was not being truthful. "I want to be with you, not because of it."
Amy couldn't help thinking about the conversation she had with Max. She understood all of it and knew what it could do to couples because she once heard about it from her DEB classmate whose parents had marital problems. Her classmate's mother had a problem and became incapable and her father cheated on her because of it. They had many years of happy marriage, 1 son, 1 daughter and 1 grandson. Her mother was furious when she found out but came to accept his apology. In Amy's mind, that man is a bastard and she definitely would not be as forgiving as her classmate's mother.
"So…you're okay with a sexless marriage?"
Lucy thought Amy enjoyed what they just did and the other times as well. She then silently cursed herself for doing something different just a moment ago.
"if…that's…what…you…want." Lucy said in a robotic tone and hoped to God that Amy wasn't serious. If she is, she would try to persuade her. She let out a small smile when Amy suddenly chuckled. Realizing that Amy was just teasing her, she internally let out a deep breath. Sexless marriage; that was the first time she heard of the term. A marriage without sex wouldn't be called a marriage. It would be called 'roommate.' As much as she loves Amy, she wasn't sure if she could be in that type of marriage, but she couldn't see herself not being with her, either.
Amy wasn't expecting Lucy's action. Her laugh turned into giggles and shrieks when the sides of her ribs were suddenly being tickled.
With legs on both sides of Amy's hips, Lucy came to a stop when her wrists were being held onto. Looking down at Amy who was breathing heavily, Lucy gently placed her body down on her top of her lover's naked body, causing Amy moan involuntarily. Lucy wasn't planning to continue, but seeing Amy's reaction, she wonders if she should. Her question was quickly answered when she felt Amy's legs spreading apart. Lucy lifted herself up a little, looked down and adjusted her position.
"Lucy…"
Lucy turned her eyes back at Amy.
"I want at least 2 kids."
It took Lucy a moment to understand. It was Amy's way of telling her that there will be a long time of no sex when she does get pregnant.
"Whenever you need me, I'll be there." Lucy said in a soft tone to assure Amy again that she will be ready for that. Her mind may not be the 31 year old, but she is ready to spend her life with the former DEB.
As a sense of déjà vu once again washed over her, Amy wondered where she heard that before. That thought quickly disappeared when she felt her lover's lower body pushing up against her core. Her head thrust back against the pillow, her eyes closed, there were no other thoughts in her mind, no thoughts of Max, no thoughts about kids, no thoughts about her friends, just taking in the indescribable sensation her brunette lover was giving her and hearing the three comforting words whispered into her ear followed by sounds of love-making.
"I love you."
It was a great night. Lucy thought so since she drifted off to sleep very quickly and felt energized the next morning. She wished Amy slept as well as she did but from the look on her face, it didn't seem that way. Scud and Janet were sitting across from Amy. Lucy sat at the end. Nadia took out the last dish of egg white vegetable omelette and sat next to Amy whom everyone could tell wasn't in the mood to talk. Even Nadia was in a better mood than she was.
"Is everything okay?" Nadia was concerned because they were going to leave for a 3-week trip in an hour so she wanted to make sure Amy is okay before she leaves with her fiancée.
Everyone noticed Amy's movement as she took a sip of her coffee and placed it back down on the table. It was also the tapping of her fingers on the table earlier that got everyone's attention. She turned towards Lucy who was looking at her. Her fist tightened for a moment, then slowly released them while looking at the clueless face, staring at her.
"What's wrong?" Lucy wasn't the only one who noticed.
Amy had contemplated on whether to say what was on her mind for weeks now. What she found was that ignoring it would be better. That's what she thought until it happened again last night, she tried to ignore it again, but felt that if she continued to do that, it would happen again. It didn't mean anything, she knew that. But her heart and mind couldn't let it go just like the time when she needed to find out the truth about Hannah. It wasn't as big a deal as Hannah. But it was bothering her. It bothered her so much, she couldn't keep it to herself anymore. She knew she needed to make the situation as calm as possible because they're getting married soon. Having an argument before that wouldn't be a good thing.
"I shouldn't even bring this up…but…" Amy took in a deep breath and exhaled loudly. Her fists tightened again which were visible for all to see. "It happened once before and it happened last night again." She said as calmly as possible.
"What happened?" Janet asked anxiously.
"I know this should be a private conversation but you might not know why."
All were extremely confused.
"Did I do something wrong…last night?" The only thing Lucy could think of was sleepwalking but that has never happened to her. Sleepwalking is a serious problem, especially for someone who didn't have a normal life, someone who had killed before. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"
"What? No!" Amy wasn't sure what Lucy was thinking about but could tell whatever it was frightened her.
Lucy let out a sigh of relief, feeling much better until Amy spoke.
"Who…is…Alyson?"
"Alyson?" Lucy was as confused as she was.
"I know I shouldn't feel this way…since she's probably one of your girlfriends. But you've been mumbling her name."
Lucy had no idea either. "Whoever she is, she's probably not important because I don't remember her."
"I want to believe that she's not important to you, but that's not all you said while you're sleeping."
"What did she say?" Janet leaned forward, extremely curious to know.
Lucy had to say something to assure her fiancée that there's nobody else in her life. "Whatever I said, she's not important and…."
"You said…thank you for loving me unconditionally."
It didn't surprise her that Alyson could be someone who loves her lover since there's Nadia, Kristin, and Alexis.
"Nadia, do you know who Alyson is?" Since Nadia had no clue, she asked Scud.
Scud had been listening and was trying not to display any type of reaction. He pretended to ponder for a moment because if he responds too quickly, he was afraid that the Perfect Score would see right through him. "There were so many girls…" He could see Amy was looking at her as if she was trying to see if he was telling the truth and at the same time wasn't pleased with the part about the numerous girls. "I can't remember their names."
"Is Alyson her ex?"
"Nnno!" Lucy realized she made a big mistake in responding to that question when she saw the look on Scud's and Amy's face. She wasn't supposed to know that.
"You remember your ex?"
"I…don't."
"Then how do you know her name isn't Alyson?"
Lucy expected that question from her intelligent wife-to-be. "because…Scud said her name is Brooke." She thought about telling Amy the truth about how she met Brooke back in Paris but changed her mind because there would be a lot of questions after that. She reached out to hold her hand. "whoever Alyson is, she's part of my past, not my future. You…are my future."
"I know that." Amy pulled her hand away. "But it's driving me insane because you kept calling her name."
"Just because I called her name, it doesn't mean anything. I mean I could be having a dream…I could be calling Scud or Janet…or Nadia…and you."
"Yes it does, Lucy…because you also said 'I love you and always will." With her eyes locked Lucy's, Amy heard Janet's gasp. She wanted to know if Lucy is hiding something from her, but she couldn't tell.
It was just a dream. It wasn't like she was calling her name while they were making love. "I'm sure at one point…in my life, I also said that to my ex…" Lucy could see that got thru to Amy when she looked down on the table. She reached out to hold her hands again. "I'm sorry I couldn't control it."
"Amy, her memory is coming back." Nadia wanted to let her know that it's going to continue and it is a good thing. Seeing Amy slowly letting out a smile, she was glad she was able to get her to see the point.
All turned to the one who suddenly clapped her hands. "I can't wait for the old Lucy to come back."
"Heyyyyy…" All laughed except for Lucy who was a little offended by that and took her dirty napkin and threw it at Janet.
Hearing her baby crying in the other room, Janet left the dining room while Scud and Nadia took the dishes to the kitchen. Lucy was glad that the situation has been resolved because leaving her lover for 3 weeks in that state of frustration and confusion wouldn't be good. "I love you."
"I know." Amy wrapped her arms around her firmly and apologized because she knew Lucy had no control over it. "I'm sorry."
"I understand." Lucy did understand. If Amy called her ex's name while she was sleeping, she would probably be as upset as she was.
"I hope you understand that I can't until you get your memory back."
"You can't what?"
"We should sleep in our own rooms."
Lucy immediately pulled back from the hug.
"What! Amy…you're not serious."