Authors note: This is my first fanfic so it may be a little sucky but if you like it please review or if you hate it review me as well just don't be 2 mean, tell me what I can do to make it better. If you want me to continue it please tell me oh and sorry bout all the dialog.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight Saga or the characters. =(

EPOV

"Give it back! Give it back! Emmett this is not fair!" Alice whined.

"No way you aren't getting this back yet!" Emmett was holding up some of Alice's secret skanky lingerie. It was red and very, VERY revealing, let's just leave it at that.

"Oh man that is wrong! Emmett dude I did not need to know that!"

"What is it Eddles?" Rosalie thankfully distracted me from Emmett's thoughts. Oh why oh why did my brother have to be a crazy, mental cross dresser? Why couldn't he be more like me? Handsome, sexy, fast, strong, musical, just to name a few.

"Well Rosalie, Obviously you see the scenario, Emmett has stolen some of Alice's *cough cough* underwear"

"It's Lingerie Edward"

"Whatever Rose. But you don't know half the story, while Emmett was teasing Alice with the item, a stray thought slipped through. Emmett was actually going to take it upstairs and try it on and I really didn't want to hear the rest so I uh, 'tuned out'"

"Emmett you are so dead!! If you even think about trying that on or keeping it for that matter then you wi…" Alice was cut short by Rosalie.

"Ew Emmett did you expect to get in BED with me wearing that?!"

"Um, well Rosie, are you sure you wouldn't like it?"

"Oh Nah. OF COURSE I'M SURE!!!"

"Excuse me," Carlisle had just walked into the room, "What is all this nonsenAAHHHH EMMETT WHAT THE FRANK ARE YOU DOING?!!"

Oh boy now Emmett's trying to eat Alice's lingerie, hmm I wonder what his thinking?

Yum tastes like fried chicken *drool* I love fried chicken…Wait have I eaten fried chicken before? Oh well. Mmmm food..

Ahhh Emmett really is mental argh bad thing bad thing!!

I wonder what I can do today. I know the mall!!!

At the mall

Woo hoo where shall I go, I know, Faceplace!!

Faceplace is an AWSEOME beauty store, BOO YEAH!!! I must try some of that 'guyliner' or what ever it's called. Now where is it…Ah ha!!! Here it is, now to put it on. Aah my eye! Wait no it's ok. Oh my god I look soo sexy!! I must get some. Now now now!!! I think 10 sticks of it will do.

"Surprise Eddy-Weddy!!"

Damn I forgot about Alice!

"Yes I know you have figured out that I saw you go here in a vision and now I have caught you red handed ha ha ha ha ha!! I'm going to go tell everyone now!"

"Alice you wouldn't dare,"

"Oh yes I would! Bye Eddy-Weddy!!"

"YOU ARE DEAD!!!"

At home…

"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Edward you are SO BUSTED!!!"

Damn, Esme even found out.

"Mom I would appreciate it if you didn't mention it thanks,"

"It's ok Edward I just had a little outburst."

"Thanks Esme."

"Hey Edward! Whats that on your eyes?"

Rosalie, you suck!

"Rosalie, you suck!"

"It looks serious, did you and the mutt get in a fight, I always knew it would happen,"

"Piss of Rosalie!!! I'm going to my room, no one disturb me!"

"Edward, are you going to wash it off or put more on? *snicker*"

"BANG!!!"

Damn, I shouldn't of slammed my door, now i need a new one. This is my lucky day.
Oh well, if I have to suffer, so do they!!! Mwahh ha ha!!! Hmm, who to get revenge on first....

JPOV

One, two, three, four now swing round the pole Jasper oh yea you nailed it! I am so going to win this year's pole dancing competition! Every time the family goes hunting or shopping or whatever I practice my VERY sexy pole dancing routine. First, I put my legs around it and swing till I'm nearly touching the ground then I dance around it and do some more swinging and dancing all the while looking H-O-T hot! I haven't tried my costume on yet but I have seen it!
It is a black leotard with a pink stripe of glitter and a red stripe of glitter diagonally down the middle on the front. On the Back it says in silver glitter my name. Jasper, Jasper the pole dancing god. I bet winning will smell sweet, mmm…Success.